MetalSucks

Well… happy friggin’ new year, everyone. We gots some catchin’ up to do.

As Dillinger Escape Plan fans may have heard by now, the band has hired some dude no one has ever heard of, Billy Rymer from The Rivalry, to replace Gil Sharone, who, in turn, replaced founding drummer Chris Pennie for 2007’s orgasm-inducing Ire Works and all subsequent touring for that album. Now, I know that Sharone’s departure may worry the DEP faithful – the dude was not only an awesome drummer, but watching how chill he always was live, even while playing some retardedly complex drum parts, would seem to suggest that he may very well be a god amongst men (or at least drummers). Hell, even DEP front dude Greg Puciato told us that Sharone is like “the kid in school who always gets good grades just because he’s naturally fucking super gifted.”

But here’s the thing.

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I’d imagine the marketing meeting for the new vocal technique DVD The Art of Screaming went down something like this:

Marketing Exec 1: This new DVD The Art of Screaming is going to be a big hit! Gangbusters! Kids just love screaming in music these days.

Marketing Exec 2: It’s amazing! We’ll rope in the guy with the reverse-mohawk from Alien Ant Farm… That’ll really get the kids on board!

Intern (quitely, from corner): Umm… You guys, you know, there’s this other vocal instruction DVD by a pretty famous vocal coach Melissa Cross. It’s called The Zen of Screaming. You know, um, maybe we should change the name, or something. Umm…

Marketing Exec 1 (scratches head): Hmmm… kid’s got a point…

Marketing Exec 2: I’ve GOT it! We’ll call it the ART of Screaming! Because it’s like, there’s a real ART to it, you know?

Marketing Exec 1: Brilliant! I love it. Intern, get Vinny Boombatz at Hot Topic on the phone for me, will ya? We’ll make millions!

Marketing Exec 2: Did you say “millions”?

Intern: (hangs head)

Anyway, check out the trailer for the new DVD below, featuring a surprisingly hasidic looking Troy Sanders of Mastodon.

-VN

Apparently forgetting that Alien Ant Farm a) released their major-label debut ANThology in 2001, b) scored their biggest hit with a cover song, and c) were not, in fact, masters — Universal Records will give Alien Ant Farm their own version of the budget compilation series 20th Century Masters: The Millenium Collection, to be released in May.

Clippers to give yourself Dryden Mitchell’s reverse buzzcut mohawk will not be included.

-VN

[From AbsolutePunk (via Idolator)]

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