I am neither the resident Andrew W.K. superfan nor the resident Andrew W.K. conspiracy expert in the MetalSucks Mansion (although I did attend this stupid Q&A that one time), but like everyone else in the world, I do own I Get Wet, and it is a really, really fun album.

So, not at all bad news: Wet is turning ten (Already?!?), and Mr. W.K. is celebrating with his first headlining tour in seven years, on which he will play the seminal party-metal release in its entirety. Which sounds like it could be a blast, no? I mean, it’s not the tour coming up that I’m most excited about, but I wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to go, either. They might as well call it the “Get Shitfaced and Pretend It’s Still 2002″ tour.

Here are dates:

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Admit it: this picture makes you SO FUCKING HAPPY.

Recently, my friend sent me a YouTube link to a Bee Gees cover group. Excuse me, tribute band. That is the proper way of addressing them, as Mark Wahlberg taught us in Rock Star. I don’t like the Bee Gees. I don’t like disco. Disco is kind of terrible. Disco blows dogs for quarters. Disco is never amazing, especially not when KISS attempt it. To say I was a little confused would be an understatement. But my friends aren’t totally clueless to what I listen to, so I gave it a shot. It turned out it was a heavy metal Bee Gees tribute band. Okay, it was a little bit awesome. Weirdly enough, it worked. I only like thin-voiced men screeching when accompanied by equally high-pitched guitars, and that’s basically what heavy metal “Stayin’ Alive,” was. I turned it off about halfway through because, well, I still have my limits, but it kind of makes you stop and go, “Huh!” Metal just makes everything sound better.

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So let’s say you need to make a music video but you don’t have a very big budget — how can you spice your clip up so it’s not just another performance vid?

A Day To Remember came up with a pretty clever solution: they got all their friends to be in the video, taking turns looking right into the camera and lip synching along for a few moments. Oddly enough, a lot of those friends are metal royalty — including The Red Chord’s Guy Kozowyk, Trivium’s Matt Heafy, As I Lay Dying’s Tim Lambesis, The Acacia Strain’s Vincent Bennett, and whomever is playing Andrew WK this week — despite the fact that A Day to Remember aren’t metal at all.

This was a smart move if you ask me, ’cause otherwise a misanthropic metal d00d such as myself probably never would have watched the video, let alone actually kinda-almost smiled. It looks like everyone is having fun, and fun begets more fun, y’know?

-AR

[via Metal Injection]

If there’s one thing that’s certain this Thanksgiving other than your crazy Uncle drinking too much Scotch and doing a faceplant into the mashed potatoes, it’s that Andrew W.K. will be partying hard, with or without Gary Suarez. As for which Andrew W.K. will be doing the partying… well, your guess is as good as ours.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

-VN

We’ll never get the trailer for The Expendables that we deserve — y’know, the one with “War Ensemble” in it — but I’ll definitely settle for one with Andrew W.K.’s “I Get Wet.” (The song selection seems especially appropriate since, as the cover for the album of the same name suggests, the liquid in question is not water.) This isn’t an official trailer  (it was made by The Monocular Group, whomever that is), but it is way better than the actual trailers for the film. Sure, it’s pretty misogynistic — Devin Faraci at C.H.U.D. points out that “about 90% of mainstream movies are geared towards men,” so the whole conceit of this thing is like “the male moviegoer version of those white middle class people who think the world’s against them.” But it’s still kinda funny.

-AR

In case ya forgot: Metal Insider’s Dan Rodriguez and myself will be at live blogging from Andrew W.K.’s public Q&A session at Santos Party House here in NYC tonight. This despite the fact that I’m still sick and it’s pouring fucking rain outside! The sacrifices I make for you, oh beloved readers!

The fun starts tonight at 7 pm EST. You can read all our coverage and witticisms here. Be there or be square.

-AR

THE ANDREW W.K. CONSPIRACY INVESTIGATION CONTINUES!

Following Andrew W.K.’s apparent confession that the rumors are true and that there have, indeed, been multiple men who assumed the mantle of Mr. Party Hard, and then Vince’s incredibly confusing interview with Mr. W.K., our friend Dan Rodriguez from Metal Insider (who has played his own unique role in this saga) decided he was going to live-blog from AWK’s public Q&A session at Santos Party House here in NYC tomorrow night – and he has graciously invited me to join him. So if you don’t live in the area or are just too lazy to attend, you can read all of our coverage in real time right here starting tomorrow at 7 pm EST.

My guess is that, as with all things involving this increasingly bizarre story, the event is going to be totally hilarious and incredibly confusing. Tune in to get our thoughts!

-AR

When it was announced Wednesday that the second annual Revolver Golden Gods Awards will explode all over the Nokia Theater in Los Angeles on April 8, I was like whoa, ’cause last year’s ReGGAs just came up in conversation the other day. But then I was like ouch, ’cause I was absolutely not invited to the press conference at the Rainbow, and goddammit that sucks, ’cause you only get so many chances to gaze adoringly at Lemmy. So okay, it’s true: I wrote a bunch of negative shit about last year’s outing. But it was an honest description of what you, sir, would’ve witnessed if you had attended and not me. And if not, duh, no one listens to me anyway ’cause I’m an idiot! Most commenters wonder openly if I’m retarded! Jesus!

At any rate, I hope they let me and Adam [Who the fuck is Adam? - Ed.] attend again this year. When he asked about it a few days ago, I expressed my sincere hope that the show would go on. Now I’m excited that it will. Things were janky last time, but it was the first metal awards ceremony in the country; improvement will come with experience. Well that’s what I was told by a fortune cookie today. And ass it turns out, that wise-ass cookie was right! First off, this year y’got hosts Andrew W.K. (who may or may not be a robot from the future) and Chris Jericho (more like Chris Hilar-icho). Plus, Rob Halford is the guest of honor! And blaow! Just look at some of these categories!

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Well I had a heckuva afternoon, what with a horde of Veil of Maya fans all e-mailing me at once to express their upset that VOM’s new song wasn’t up at the time we said it would be. But it’s up now, and we think that the track, “Namaste” – not “Dexter,” as our stupid audio player says – is terrific. You can listen here and join in on the fun.

Here are some other fun things that happened this week:

• We did a Jew on Jew interview with Orphaned Land’s Kobi Farhi and released the audio of Vince’s confusing interview with Andrew W.K.
• One of As I Lay Dying guitarist Nick Hipa’s theories about L O S T was correct!!!
• Bob Cock thinks Armour are AWESOME.
• Dave Ellefson has returned to Megadeth!
• The Ultimate Warrior rules, and The Red Chord agrees.
• Anthrax’s Worship Music finally a release date: the fifth of never.
• If you have a child, don’t do this.

Have a good weekend, everyone!

-AR

We received numerous requests from readers to post the audio of the phone interview I did with Andrew W.K. a couple of weeks back in which I sought to clarify the conspiracy theories surrounding He Who Parties Hard. While some people probably want to compare his voice to other interviews that are floating around online, I think most people are just curious to hear the tone and inflection in his voice, the things that typically get lost on the (e)-printed page.

And that’s what was most interesting about this interview. After reading it, it’d be easy to assume that Andrew is just a dumbass incapable of covering his own sloppy misteps; but when you listen to the audio you’ll find that this is clearly not the case. Andrew is smart, articulate, and his answers are very well-thought out. Which makes everything all that much more baffling.

Without further ado, here’s the interview audio for stream or download. If you have further questions, just show up to Santo’s Party House in NYC on February 23rd and ask the man himself.

[this download is longer available]

-VN

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Howard Zinn, Zelda Rubinstein, and J.D. Salinger all died within twenty-four hours of another. That’s crappy on all fronts, but right now I’d like to concentrate on Salinger.

On the one hand, it’s very sad that he’s dead because I happen to think he was a brilliant writer; on the other hand, it’s not like he’d written anything in a long, long, long time anyway, so it doesn’t feel like we’re really losing anything; on the other hand, his son Matt was one of the frat douches in Revenge of the Nerds and played the title role in the straight-to-video live-action Captain America movie, which is to say he and Mr. Salinger’s other remaining kin folk will almost certainly sell away his father’s ideals ASAP. Look for Catcher in the Rye 3-D, starring Zac Efron as Holden Caufield, to hit screens sometime in 2011.

Now that that’s off my chest, here’s a recap of what happened in the metal world this week:

• We definitely spoke to Lamb of God’s Chris Adler and think we spoke to the guy who may or may not actually be Andrew W.K.
• Eyal gave us a recap of NAMM, and The Austerity Program’s Justin Foley told us how he got into metal.
• Norway finally caught up with the nu-metal trend.
• The Insane Clown Posee have made multiple feature-length films. Gee, I wonder how we didn’t know that?
• Footage of a new Cynic song!!!
• Also, this.

Alright, it’s fucking freezing as fuck out there, but I’m gonna try and get my ass out and enjoy what’s left of my youth anyways. If you live in the NYC area, don’t forget that The Austerity Program play this Sunday January 31, in Brooklyn at Public Assembly (70 N 6th St) with White Suns, Immanent Voiceless, Daniel Malinsky. This your chance to thank Justin for all the awesome writing he did for us, or to tell him off for all the terrible writing he did for us, depending on your perspective.

See ya Monday!!!

-AR

In the interview with “Andrew W.K.” that you’re about to read, the man on the phone with me uttered these words:

It’s been very tricky for me, and that’s why I hope you understand and other people are able to grasp is that I’ve been trying to deal with this as much as I can and have many different people to please or satisfy. Not just my friends and the people who like what I’ve been doing in music, but people that I’ve worked with for a long time before anybody had any idea of who I was. I’m trying to do the best I can with all these different responsibilities.

What the words on the e-printed page don’t communicate is the level of concern and earnestness in his voice, and the slow manner in which a person speaks when they’re trying to be very careful about the words they use. And that was the tone of this entire interview, encapsulated by that one quote; through the course of my 45-minute chat with “Andrew W.K.,” I got the impression that the man on the phone with me was really, really worried that he was about to blow it, that if he said the wrong thing the floodgates would burst open and he’d be fucked.

Could it be that the man I spoke to is just one of many actors slated to play the role of Andrew W.K.? Could it be that his advisors — of which he talks frequently in our chat — have advised hm to perpetuate these rumors for the sake of publicity? Who knows. Then there are evasive statements like this one which popped up throughout our interview:

Regardless of whatever confusion there was, there should be no confusion about the fact that I am Andrew W.K. and can go out there and be it and have people understand that.

To me, uttering the words “I am Andrew W.K.” could be total truth if the idea of “Andrew W.K.” was a construct from the very beginning. If Andrew W.K. is just an idea, then anyone hired to play the role could say “I am Andrew W.K.,” as in “Right now I am in the role of Andrew W.K.” and not be lying at all. I also find it very curious that the man I spoke with said he can “go out there and be it” as if he isn’t inherently Andrew W.K. but has to go out and “be” or act the part. And several times throughout the interview he answered questions specifically phrased to determine whether or not the man with whom I was speaking was the same man that performed at other events with the simple statement “I am Andrew W.K.” which would fit through the above ontological loophole.

Okay, yeah. So I guess the situation is, as I’ve stated earlier in our interview tonight, that on one hand I was wanting to follow some advice that was presented to me on how to address this and that advice involved certain language that was deemed the most appropriate on how to not avoid the truth but address the issue in a way that allowed me to still retain my own standing. See, it’s even hard for me to talk about this now because, again, this video wasn’t meant to be seen like this. It wasn’t anticipated that this kind of questioning would come up and the very nature of how I spoke that night was based on limitation that I’m still within now.

“How not to avoid the truth?” That seems like an admission that there is truth being hidden. And seeming admissions of defeat such as this one:

I wouldn’t be in this situation if I didn’t sign up for it a long time ago… I’m just really sorry. I’m really sorry that I can’t answer these questions better. I can keep trying. I’ll continue to, and I have been. I feel like I’ve been doing better. I feel like most people that are close to me understand what’s going on. Some people have a sense of what it is and let it go.

Wow. Loaded. What situation did he sign up for? Doing better at what — learning how to not to answer questions directly?

Of course, Andrew and his team could all just be laughing at the insane amounts of publicity this conspiracy theory has given his new album.

Read my interview with “Andrew W.K.” after the jump. It’s a doozy.

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Alright! After an initial slow news week, 2010 is finally start to get back into the swing of things. Here are some highlights from this week:

• Vince got an exclusive interview with Obituary/ex-Andrew W.K. drummer Donald Tardy about the AWK conspiracy mystery. We also spoke to Richard Christy and Pelican’s Larry Herwig.
• We debuted new music by The Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza, Karnivool, and Blood of the Tyrant.
• Dallas is giving away free music, Eyal’s faith in metalheads has been restored, and Justin pontificated on the format wars.
• These Arms Are Snakes are done…
• …but System of a Down are reuniting! Or maybe not. But maybe.
• The dude from Weedeater shot himself in the foot. Literally.
• We’re sponsoring The Red Chord’s Burgers & Bowling tour!
• Underoath don’t like abortions.

Next week we’ll have some previews of 2010 releases we’re stoked on for you. And Vince is gonna be in sunny Los Angeles, so you poor-ass muthafuckas is stuck with me. BWA-HA-HA-HA!!!

-AR

Boy oh boy have we got something good for you today.

Before the curtain fell on 2009 a curious video surfaced on the website RockFeedback.com (possibly filmed a year ago? I’m not sure), in which Andrew W.K. flat out admitted that “Andrew W.K.” was essentially a character played by different people, of which he (the one doing the lecture in the video) was the second. Andrew W.K. conspiracy theories have been running amok on the Internet for years, but it’s a rabbit hole we’re all too willing to go down given how interesting the whole thing is.

Then, in the early days of 2010, the MetalSucks Mansion telegraph wire blew up with an offer we couldn’t refuse — Donald Tardy, drummer of death metal legends Obituary and on Andrew W.K.’s breakthrough album I Get Wet (and subsequent 2+ year touring cycle) wanted to go on record with us about Andrew.

Intrigued, we set up a phone interview with Donald, and this past Tuesday at 4pm Vince got on the horn to attempt to settle this debate once and for all. Is Andrew W.K. one person? Has he been played by multiple actors? Who is Steev Mike? Surely a man that had worked so close with Andrew would know the answers… or perhaps not. Our full chat, after the jump, and as a bonus, some photographs of the I Get Wet recording sessions from Tardy’s personal collection.

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Yesterday a little fight broke out in the comments section of our bit on the mysteries of Andrew W.K., and not that a little fight breaking out in our comments section is unusual, but this fight wasn’t really about Andrew W.K. – it was about the piano, which AWK plays.

And the piano is awesome. There should be doubt of this. Good pianists should be respected, even if the phrase “good pianist” sounds kinda funny.

As if to prove this point for us, Maniac “musicalsnob” posted a link to a YouTube user going by the handle “vkgoeswild.” She does some pretty rad piano covers of metal songs. Check out her take on Carcass’ “Corporal Jigsore Quandar,” for example:

After the jump, check out vkgoeswild as she does Slayer’s “Raining Blood,” and actually makes Marilyn Manson sound pretty.

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Last year Vince wrote about this cockamamie rumor floating around that Andrew W.K. is not a real person, but, as Mr. Neilstein so eloquently put it, “a carefully constructed record label concoction played by several different actors.” Mr. W.K. (or possibly “Steev Mike,” the absolutely fucktarded “real name” of the actor allegedly playing AWK) even basically admitted that the rumor was true last month, although, if you ask me, he’s just taking the piss.

ANYWAY, although we wouldn’t put it past some scumbag record exec to try such a move — Sure, why not just simplify the Menudo model, right? — the entire concept just struck us as the imaginative fiction of an overzealous conspiracy nut.

But then our friend Dan Rodriguez – now a contributor to Metal Insider - told us this amazing story about when he was the program director of college radio station WSOU, a.k.a. the only listenable non-satellite radio station we can actually pick-up here at the Mansion. Apparently Dan helped organize a 2004 WSOU-sponsored concert in New Jersey, and Andrew W.K. was supposed to play the show; fans were outraged, however, when someone they claimed to be an impostor did the gig instead.

We couldn’t write anything about the incident at the time because Dan wanted to maintain some professional courtesy (or whatever), but now he’s come forward to tell his side of the story. Here’s an excerpt:

I booked the show through Andrew’s then-manager, Trevor Silmser. I personally picked up the backing band from the airport and drove them to the venue. Everything seemed on the up-and-up. Andrew was planned to spend the afternoon at the venue, hanging out with the grateful WSOU staff. At some point right before doors, I was told that he would not arrive until shortly before the set. That certainly seemed unusual from someone famous for his go-out-of-his-way ethic. A car pulled up just minutes before the band was to take the stage, and Andrew (or “Andrew”, depending on your level of crazy) quickly shuffled into the building and to the stage, face covered under a hoodie. After the show, he threw himself back in the hoodie and ran back to the car, a la Michael Jackson’s babies.

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Okay, so for some of you young ‘uns who will forever think of Chris Broderick as Megadeth’s guitarist, you should know that before Broderick there were some other dudes in the band, and before them there was this guy Marty Friedman, and before him there were, again, some other dudes.

But this is a story about Marty Friedman, so let’s just stick to him for a sec.

See, after Marty quit the band in 2000, presumably because he couldn’t look at himself in the mirror anymore after actively participating in the creation of “Crush ‘Em,” he moved to Japan, where everyone who was ever famous will stay famous forever. (Seriously, it’s like the Never Never Land of famous people over there.) At least, I think that’s what happened – all I really know is that Friedman was in Megadeth, and then he wasn’t, and then Blabbermouth started posting fifteen stories a day about Friedman and Japan. I’d do the research to get the full story but I don’t care that much.

So, why did I bring this up? ‘Cause Friedman’s latest Asian endeavor is a collaboration with Gary Suarez’s favorite musician of all time, Andrew W.K. (Who, reader Porkspam tells me, seems to be having fun with the rumors that there are multiple Andrew W.K.s And there’s a video for this collaboration, entitled “Kiba,” which I believe is Japanese for “Really strange and terrible song that makes you kinda glad that Marty Friedman isn’t in Megadeth anymore.” (It may or may not also mean “Fang.”) But what’s really weird – I mean just beside how FUCKING STRANGE the song is – is that the video is animated, and portrays a cartoon Andrew W.K. maxin’ and relaxin’ with a cartoon… Dave Mustaine.

I’m serious. Check it out:

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Now that I’ve passed off my Best of 2009 list to Axl and Vince, I can now thankfully move on to thinking about what’s to come in 2010. After many agonizing years of legal wrangling, Close Calls With Brick Walls, Andrew W.K.’s follow up to The Wolf, will at last see a proper stateside release via the artist’s Skyscraper Music Maker imprint. Due out February 23rd, 2010, the album was originally limited to a Japanese edition in 2006, followed up by a limited vinyl run the subsequent year. Promising track titles include “I Want To See You Go Wild”, “Slam John Against A Brick Wall”, and “Not Going To Bed”. Now, once and for all, everyone will finally have a chance to hear what Andrew W.K. has long wanted to share with us…

BUT WAIT! There’s more…

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So on Friday night on friend Sergeant D. at Metal Inquisition got wasted and made the below tribute to Burzum and Varg Vikernes. Now, I can already sense that some of you are going to bitch that this isn’t that funny, and, in truth, the idea is pretty simple – but there’s something about the mixing of the music with the pictures and, of course, the context, that just makes me giggle every time I watch this…

And while we’re on the topic of Sergeant D., please allow me to work in this shameless plug: the dude designed this awesome t-shirt for us. Why don’t you show some love and buy one?

-AR