MetalSucks

As a fan of Kingdom Of Sorrow, Jamey Jasta’s collaboration with the incredibly Kirk Windstein, I follow the Connecticut-based hardcore vocalist on Twitter. I’m not a huge fan of his main project Hatebreed, largely because so many of their songs, while angry and uplifting, sound so damn similar. As a result, I’ve been reluctant to pick up their recent self-titled album. I mean, if I want to be motivated by metal, I’ll pop in ANDREW W.K.’s I GET WET!!!!!!

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MetalSucks Maniac The Ghost of D. Boon e-mailed us in response to that video we posted yesterday of Steel Panther guitarist Satchel playing drums while taking a guitar solo to make sure we knew about Gull… and we didn’t. So thanks, Ghost!

Gull is a one-man project from Richmond, VA who not only plays guitar and drums simultaneously (and wwwaaayyy better than Satchel), but also sings! Ghost says that mask he’s wearing has a mic in it, which is hooked up to reverb pedal. Check it out:

You can get more info on Gull here.

And while we’re talking about one man bands… this suddenly got me thinking about Corn Mo, this dude I used to see play local clubs and bars here in New York from time to time. He’s not really metal, but he used to host gigs for metal cover bands and obviously has some knowledge of metal, so it seemed worth posting. Plus, if you’re drunk enough, he can be fun to watch live. Check out the drum stick coming out of his pants!

Here’s Corn Mo, both doing his solo thing and playing with Gary Suarez’s hero, Andrew WK:

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My enthusiastic endorsement of Andrew W.K.’s 2002 album I Get Wet met with a mixed reaction from the MetalSucks readership, ranging from anger to disbelief to teary confessions of the album’s power to yield happiness and a sense of the unstoppable phenomenon known as THE PARTY. I appreciated his follow-up The Wolf, but as I’ve stated before, it couldn’t compete with I Get Wet. Subsequently, things started to get strange for the white-shirted rocker, as he attempts to explain in a recent piece for U.K.-based periodical The Guardian.

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Also: Andrew W.K.

Stay tuned for a special announcement involving Gwar later this week.

[Thanks: Villan and Devin K.]

Andrew W.K., I Get Wet (Island, 2002)
Andrew W.K. – vocals
Jimmy Coup – Guitar
Erik Payne – Guitar
Frank Werner – Guitar
Gregg Roberts – Bass
Donald Tardy – Drums
Produced by Andrew W.K., John Fields, Scott Humphrey, TSD, Frank Vierti

It has been suggested by some of our commenters that I don’t belong here. Be it my distaste for deathgrind, my inability to appreciate the tr00 kvlt nature of Norwegian black metal, or the fact that I don’t give a flying fuck about Protest The Hero, I’ve always felt like an outsider around you people. Yet at no point did I feel so out of place than during the countdown of the 21 Best Metal Albums of the 21st Century… So Far. Sure, I participated. I submitted a list. I presumed many of my picks would never make the cut (Unsane’s Visqueen; Zozobra’s Harmonic Tremors), but also acknowledged less esoteric favorites of mine from the past nine-and-a-half-years (Boris Pink; Down’s III: Over The Under) that I thought had a shot. Still, nothing could have prepared me for the sheer disappointment these past few weeks when none of my favorite albums made the goddamn list.

Rather than be mature about this sad state of affairs, I am now going to explain why everyone who voted in this poll is a fucking butthole for not selecting Andrew W.K.’s 2002 masterpiece, I Get Wet.
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Seriously. Ever since Metal Hammer gave us that Web of Death thing, I’ve been knee-deep in pussy. Incredible. It’s amazing that I’m even able to type right now, I’m so worn out. And that’s why you start a website. For the groupies.

Which brings me to my next point: now that we’re famous, we don’t want to be friends with you anymore. Don’t take it personally, we just prefer to rub elbows with other fabulous, famous people. You were great on the way up, but now? Fuck you. M’kay?

Here’s what else went down this week:

• We spoke with Lacuna Coil’s Christina Scabbia, and managed to get through it without embarrassing ourselves too badly.
• Sigh’s Mirai Kawashima wrote another awesome guest blog from the studio, begging the question: is Dr. Mikannibal’s diet hot or not?
• The Haunted’s Peter Dolving lashed out against Lamb of God; you lashed out against Peter Dolving.
• NEW CONVERGE SONGS! NEW CONVERGE SONGS! NEW CONVERGE SONGS!
• Someone actually played IWRESTLEDABEARONCE’S “Tastes like Kevin Bacon” for Kevin fucking Bacon.
• How many Andrew WKs are there, anyway?

Alright. I’ve got like ten girls clawing at me right now, beckoning me back to bed. I’ll see you Monday, if they’ll give me a rest, already.

-AR

Is “Andrew W.K.” a sham, a carefully constructed record label concoction played by several different actors? Was the hard-partying, bloody-nosed screamer a faceless ploy to sell records? According to a fascinating piece sent in by long-time MS Maniac Elijah T., there is indisputable evidence supporting this claim.

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Only the most evil scenesters among you have likely heard of Orphan, a two-piece bass n’ drums metal act that reeks of Dale Crover’s coveted ball sweat and the undeniable stench of sulfur. It’s hard for any band these days to achieve maximum exposure by releasing its debut album exclusively on vinyl and limited to an eeeeeevil six hundred and sixty six copies, but that’s precisely what Orphan did with the reckless, sludgetastic Aborted by Birth. Thankfully now available digitally from legal download bodegas on these interwebs, here’s hoping more people will catch on to the awesome. Orphan also put together some groovy Youtube videos of its tracks, many of which can be found here. Check out the one for “Love Is For The Birds” below.

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