If you’re a fledgling metal band trying to break into the big time, allowing a movie to be made about your struggles is probably a bad idea.

Remember Acrassicauda? The heavily persecuted Iraqi band pulled on the heart strings of the entire metal world in 2007, and the folks at Vice felt so moved by the band’s plight that they decided to make a documentary about them, Heavy Metal in Baghdad. With Vice’s help, the band finally arrived in the U.S. in 2009, began playing shows, touring, and eventually released a record. It was a great story, a triumph for heavy metal and personal freedoms that surely warmed the hearts of even the most jaded grinches (us included). But where are they now? Once the PR buzz and good will of the film wore off, Acrassicauda were left to make it on their own in an extremely competitive metal marketplace, back to square one (although admittedly way better off in their lives). We haven’t heard very much about them since.

Of course you all know about Anvil, a band whose Real Life Spinal Tap-like film was so touching that its tentacles reached far beyond the metal world and catapulted the band into the international spotlight. But… where are they now?

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Last year (and the year before) I got way too busy with this thing called life and missed out on a lot of quality music. I am here to rectify the error of my ways, month by month.

Here are the May 2011 releases that got under my skin, burrowed their way into my brain, made my ears bleed, or simply tickled my unmentionables:

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Foo Fighters fans fretting that Wasting Light would relinquish its hold on the meaningless Soundscan charts after dropping to #2 last week after three debut weeks at #1… fret not, as Dave Grohl and co. are back up top! This week’s #2 comes in the form of a big surprise, as Zack Wylde’s Black Label Society sold a ton of copies of the acoustic equivalent of a remixes album.

Lots of interesting action elsewhere, too, with new records by Anvil and Hate Eternal making the charts, and a bunch of other strong sellers. Also: a case study in Sixx A.M. / Motley Crue chart history, another one on the myriad Aerosmith greatest hits collections selling gangbusters, and on Metallica’s Master of Puppets‘ chart legacy finally coming to an end.

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Whether you’re a tri-corner hat wearing Teabagger who thinks taxes are the work of the devil, a bleeding heart tree-hugging Lefty who believes The Man will take care of everything, or a corporate cocksucking conservative who believes GE deserves a $3.2 billion tax refund despite raking in more than $14 million in profit, today is inevitable.

Death (metal) and taxes.

Yes, normally in America, we must file our taxes by April 15. That was last Friday. Fortunately, for many of you slackers out there, Friday was also a Washington holiday to celebrate Emancipation Day; the day President Abraham Lincoln freed nearly 3,100 slaves in Washington D.C. in 1862, nine months before he signed the Emancipation Proclamation. Normally, this momentous occasion is observed on April 16 in D.C.; however, since that date fell on a Saturday this year, taxes get pushed back until today.

So, if you are reeling from your continuing procrastination, maybe you can find a few songs here to get you through the tedium (AKA the final hours before tonight’s filing deadline). Or, maybe you are already done with your paperwork and want to stroll down the aisle of taxing tunes and moneyed music.

Some of it is from metalheads, but most comes from the world of rock.

Figures, that’s where the real money is (was) made.

The Beatles – “Taxman” (Cartoon)

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I was inspired to put some thoughts down after reading Sergeant D.’s post about what a terrible decision it is to commit yourself to the band life at a young age, because eventually the wheels will fall off and you’ll end up just like some morose version of the Anvil story: Sad, old, broke, and disillusioned by shattered dreams of rock stardom.  I know his blog was supposed to be funny and sarcastic, and was even sprinkled with a hint of sour grapes: Not getting to be that “cool band guy,” but justice being served down the line by seeing how those guys ended up. But I have to say that post hit home for me, because in many ways it was about me. I mean generally, not specifically. I’m pretty sure Sergeant D. didn’t follow me around and base his post on me autobiographically.

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Welcome to “Question of the Week,” a (sometimes) weekly debate amongst the MetalSucks staff regarding a recent hot button issue.

Presumably inspired by this week’s announcement of a Big 4 show in the U.S., this week’s question was posed by MetalSucks contributor/author of the Reign in Blood entry into the 33 1/3 book series, D.X. Ferris. Mr. Ferris was even good enough to join us for this edition of QOTW! And his query was:

IF THE BIG FOUR WERE THE BIG EIGHT, WHICH BANDS WOULD BE THE NEXT FOUR IN THE GROUP?

The MS staff’s answers after the jump.

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Did you know that if you eat before you start slamming shots, you’ll get a little less drunk, but you’ll also have something to vomit up later? It’s true. Also, sometimes when you smoke weed, you get the munchies. These are just two great reasons why you should care about Hellbent for Cooking: The Heavy Metal Cookbook by Annick “Morbid Chef” Giroux. Showcasing “a varied menu of over a hundred recipes from thirty countries,” Hellbent for Cooking features recipes by members of Accept, Anthrax, Anvil, Armored Saint, Brutal Truth, Death, Electric Wizard, Eyehategod, Gwar, Judas Priest, Kreator, Mayhem, Melechesh, Nuclear Assault, Obituary, Repulsion, Saint Vitus, Sepultura, Sigh, S.O.D., Slough Feg, Thin Lizzy, Toxic Holocaust, and about a trillion others (you can get a complete list of contributing bands here).

MetalSucks is teaming up with Bazillion Points Publishing to give away three (3) copies of Hellbent for Cooking. All you have to do to win is create a picture that somehow connects metal to food and post a link to someplace we can view said picture in the comments section below. Use Photoshop to create an image of Lemmy eating a hot dog, use MS Paint to do a portrait of Metallica as the pepperonis on a pizza, whatever you want – it just has to be both food and metal related, and it has to amuse us. Vince and I will choose the three pics that make us laugh the hardest and those pics’ creators win the book.

This contest will end at midnight EST on Monday, December 14. Please note that this contest is open to U.S. residents only, as shipping costs are a bitch. And if you’re too lazy to participate, you can always just order a copy of the book here.

Good luck, and good eats…

-AR

Rocklahoma, the three day hair metal festival that’s taken place in – doy-hickey – Oklahoma the past few years, was really successful in its first two incarnations – so successful that there were rumors of Iron Maiden and Judas Priest headlining the 2008 edition of the fest. But this past summer’s third running of the show was an epic failure, with embarrassingly  low attendance, despite a line-up that included Anthrax, the “they’re so hot right now!” Anvil, Overkill, Twisted Sister, Ratt, and Skid Row.

Now our pal Allyson at Bring Back Glam has posted a press release announcing that AEG live, “the world’s largest producer of music festivals,” has been put in charge of “revamping” the fest for the 2010 version.

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So it looks like Anvil’s comeback is gonna last through at least 2010: the band will have a small role in the upcoming film version of The Green Hornet, which will star Seth Rogen (who also co-wrote the script) and be directed by Michel Gondry, who helmed Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and about a gajillion awesome music videos. In other words: the movie might actually be good.

Sacha Gervasi, who directed the documentary Anvil! The Story of Anvil, recently spoke to MakingOf about Anvil’s role in the flick, which they filmed back in October. You can check out the video below. It’s kinda spoiler-ish, but not in a really major way – still, if you plan to see the movie and want to be completely surprised about how Anvil tie-in, I’d advise you not watch.

-AR

This video from Funny or Die has been making the rounds today – I don’t wanna give too much away, but it’s pretty funny shit. Bonus: in addition to Lipps and Robb from Anvil, it features Human Giant’s Rob Huebel. Score!

-AR

Maybe I’m alone in this, but I found Anvil! The Story of Anvil to be kinda depressing. 50-something year old dudes, holding onto their dream, still hoping to get signed to a major label and strike it rich as big rock stars? Yeah, I have my own impossible pipe dreams to worry about, thank you very much.

Still, that’s not to say that it wasn’t an awesome movie, and funny as often as it was sad. Also, gots to support my fellow Jews in metal.

So. In case you didn’t get to check out Anvil! The Story of Anvil in theaters, it hits DVD on October 6, and will air on both VH1 and VH1 Classic on Saturday, October 3rd at 9:00 pm. You should definitely check it out.

If you’re gonna buy/rent the DVD, here are the special features you have to look forward to:

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Our friend Allyson at Bring Back Glam has been reporting from Rocklahoma all week. She’s obviously a big fan of the event, given that a) she runs a site all about glam and b) she wrote the text for the Rocklahoma coffee table book that came out last year.

But she’s been making (perfectly valid) complaints about this year’s fest for the past ten months, taking issue in particular with this year’s line-up. And as it turns out, she was totally correct: attendance at this summer’s edition of the event was apparently abysmal.

Check out this photo Allyson took of the crowd. This was at dusk; if it was Ozzfest, everyone who skipped the second stage would be starting to pile in right about this time. No such luck for Great White, even though there was absolutely no chance of being burned alive at the outdoor venue:

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I’ve been invited to several screenings of Anvil: The Story of Anvil, and, rather sadly, I’ve been unable to attend each time. But now that the documentary – which chronicles the lives of an 80s metal band that never quite made it big – has a poster and a trailer, I’m hopeful the announcement of some kind of  release will finally be forthcoming. ‘Cause I hear this movie is the shit – like The Wrestler, but actually about metal, and actually nonfiction.

Trailer after the jump.

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I’ve been waiting forever to check out the documentary Anvil! The Story of Anvil but can’t afford to fly cross country for a film festival. The good news is that the movie will have an official DVD release sometime in the spring, probably March.

Needless to say, wood will be sported.

Check out the trailer:

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