MetalSucks

Anyone remember this from a couple of years back?

Well that Taco Bell isn’t too far from the Mansion, and I’m ashamed to admit, but sometimes, in moments of stoned weakness, I purchased food there. But ever since that little incident, I haven’t eaten at a Taco Bell; I can’t. I know that ALL fast food is crap, but come ON, a man has limits.

Still, I guess it’s nice of them to start this whole “Feed the Beat” program, in which they basically give touring bands $500 worth of diarrhea food for free. And now Metal Insider is reporting that a handful of metal bands – including Atreyu, Iwrestledabearonce, Whitechapel, Municipal Waste and Earthless – are rumored to have been selected for the offer.

And as Metal Insider says, “tour support is tour support” – so I don’t blame the bands for participating. And the dudes in The Waste are probably fucked up half the time anyways, so they won’t be able to tell the difference. Meanwhile, Atreyu have been spewing crap forth from their mouths for years, so they might as well put some back into their mouths for a change.

-AR

P.S. I wanna give extra credit to Metal Insider, not just for originally reporting on this story, but for coming up with a headline that is vastly superior to my own. Nice work, Bram!

The hype around Congregation of the Damned is that it’s a return to Atreyu’s older metalcore (excuse me, “metallic rock”) outings. This is bullshit. Congregation is another ham fisted arena rock failure posing as one of Atreyu’s metalcore albums.

Now, inevitably, some punk is gonna come around here and say “Atreyu’s sound could never stay the same forever, and why would they want it to, and blah blah blah, pee.” To which I say: well, I’m not the one going around telling people this album is going to sound nothing like Lead Sails and a Plug-in Vagina. The dudes from Atreyu are.

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Luckily for Five Finger Death Punch, being total assholes who completely lack any musical talent isn’t hurting their record sales: their new album, War is the Answer, is apparently going to sell to somewhere between 35,000 – 40,000 copies in its first week of release… and that’s just here in the U.S. That probably sounds like a lot of units moved, and you’re right. It is a lot of fucking units moved. To put it in perspective with the sales of some awesome albums that came out this week…

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Last week Vince and I guested on Noisecreep’s “Creep Show” video podcast. You can watch the episode below.

In addition to the regular “Creep Show” gang – Noisecreep editor Seth Werkheiser, news columnist and writer Chris Harris, and Revolver senior writer and Noisecreep scribe Jon Wiederhorn – we joined call-in guests Brandon Saller and Alex Varwhateverthefuck from Atreyu. Because we were guests in someone else’s house, we decided to be polite and play nice with the Atreyu dudes… so apologies to anyone who was hoping we’d get into it with the metalcore (excuse me… “metallic rock”) band.

We had a lot of fun – in fact this was Vince’s second time on the show – and hope to visit with the Noisecreep family again real soon. Enjoy.

-AR

This past Friday Axl and I participated in another of Noisecreep.com’s “Creep Cast” video podcasts (you can see my last appearance on the Creep Cast here). The guest artists of the week were Atreyu’s Alex Varkatzas and Brandon Saller, who both called in and participated in the entire half-hour show. It was kinda awkward for us (as I’m sure it was for them), but we all played nice and had a good time. The podcast will be posted later in the week, at which point you’ll definitely see it posted here.

So now that the niceties are out of the way, we can go back to making fun of Atreyu again! MetalSucks Maniac Tom Fassnidge sent in this clip of Atreyu bassist Marc McKnight dropping throwing his bass as the result of an exaggerated stage move at a 2008 gig in Biloxi, MS. It’s quite funny, and the crowd certainly seemed to enjoy it; McKnight seemed to have a good sense of humor about it too, throwing his hands up in the air in defeat and waiting on the side of the stage until his techs recovered his lost axe.

-VN

So. Atreyu have a new album, Congregation of the Damned, coming out October 27, and the band has made it perfectly clear that they intend for said album to be a return to form after the lackluster results of their sell-out arena rock effort, Lead Sails and a Who Gives a Fuck? Now they’ve debuted a new song, “Stop! Before It’s Too Late and We’ve Destroyed it All,” on their MySpace. Are we convinced that the Atreyu of yore are about to make a return? Can any band that’s not Faith No More get away with having a exclamation point in a song title? Do we even care?

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We do our best to bring you new music from new bands you may actually like, but sometimes it’s difficult to fit it in given all the crap that comes across our plates daily, such as Emmure selling branded boxing gloves and Atreyu performing a shitty new song. So, here we go. Two links, no descriptions; let us know what you think.

• Struck by Lightning
• Into the Presence

Prediction: not nearly as many of you will care/comment as you did about either of the two above-mentioned articles. Prove me wrong.

-VN

An e-mail I received from long time reader Seveword earlier today:

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Longtime MS Maniac Kye just sent us the link to this video of Atreyu performing a new song, “Bleeding is a Luxury.” I don’t think I really care, but, y’know. It’s news. I think. Whatever.

Atreyu have a new album coming out, and I literally can’t be bothered to Google the name. The word Damned is in it, I think. It comes out, like, whenever.

-AR

We’ve worked pretty hard to achieve our title of the “Most Negative Site in Metal.” And we’re proud of that title. We’ve earned it, damn it.

So we’re jealous that those fuckers at The Deciblog, and not us, thought of this brilliant idea:

THE DECIBLOG SCREAMO COVER ELIMINATION BRACKET.

Luckily, they invited us to participate.

Here’s the description of how it’s gonna work:

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After the super-slick piece of polished turd that was Lead Sails Paper Anchor didn’t launch Atreyu to super-stardom, the band made it clear that they wanted to get back to their roots with their new album. In fact, here’s a recent quote from singer Alex Varkatzas where he uses that very phrase:

“We started as a heavy hardcore band, and I think we’ve gotten away from that in recent years. The last record, for example, showcased us as a rock band with heavy parts. With this record, we want to return to our roots.”

And here’s Varkatzas from the latest issue of Revolver:

“Without trying to throw anybody under the bus, we looked back at our last record, and it wasn’t 100 percent the way we envisioned it.”

And then guitarist Dan Jacobs does throw somebody under the bus – specifically, producer John “Good Charlotte” Feldman:

“We let him get his hands a little too deep into the project… It made us uncomfortable in trying to express ourselves about what we wanted. He’s a big-time producer dude who’s had much success, so we were like, He must know what he’s talking about. What do we know? We’ve never had a gold or platinum record.”

So now that Atreyu have established that they want to get away from the gloss and “return to our roots,” what would you think is the best way of achieving that goal? A tour with Hollywood Undead? Yeah, that wouldn’t be my career advice, either.

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Just yesterday I saw a kid an Atreyu shirt and thought to myself… “Where the fuck has THAT band been lately?”

Metal Hammer doth answer my query today; apparently the band is in the studio with producer Bob Marlette, who, it should be noted, is not only a producer but a talented rock songwriter (Hollywood Records A&R exec to Atreyu: “Last record flopped. We’re getting you songwriting help. Deal with it.”)

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I can’t believe that there’s going to be a new Hellyeah album. I honestly thought we’d be rid of this insipid band after one phoned-in cash-in. I guess I don’t have any real reason to be too upset though, as not only will I never ever never listen to this record, but I honestly don’t know anyone else who ever will either.

In any case, here are some things I’d rather hear than new “music” from Hellyeah:

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…don’t.

We still haven’t heard the full album, The High End of Low, but the band has sent out a six song sampler, featuring three songs we’ve already heard and three brand spankin’ new ones. And while the songs aren’t terrible, exactly, they certainly don’t sound anything like the band that made Antichrist Superstar or, um, anything else from the original Twiggy Ramirez-era.

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• FORMER MEMBER OF GN’R NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT DELIVERS HIS REACTION TO CHINESE DEMOCRACY TO A MIRROR: “Yes, I listened to it on a long drive to Phoenix, Arizona,” ex-GN’R rhythm guitarist Gilby ‘I Swear I’m Not Izzy’ Clarke allegedly told “a fan” (actually his reflection). “But there was [sic] too many slow-to-midtempo songs on it for my taste and some of the solos are a little overdone; they don’t match the song.” When the “fan” flattered Clarke by saying the album’s solos would have been vastly superior had Clarke played them, he chuckled modestly: “You’re too kind. Too kind.”
• CLINT LOWERY SAYS DARK NEW DAY’S FUTURE “DOESN’T LOOK GOOD.” Also: water is wet.
• MEMBERS OF SHADOWS FALL AND FATES WARNING JOIN FORCES IN 80′S METAL COVER BAND NAMED AFTER THE “BAD” DOJO IN THE KARATE KID: Still less fucktarded than being named after the dude from The Neverending Story.

-AR

So yesterday I posted the Completely Unreadable Band Logo of the Week, as I’m prone to do, and readers’ entries started pouring into my inbox, as was bound to happen.

And someone guessed that the band logo in question belonged to Korn.

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Of course you do! Here’s Atreyu’s version of Faith No More’s “Epic” from Lead Sails Paper Anchor 2.0, the recently re-packaged and re-released plan to pillage their poor fans of all of their money album. The music isn’t so bad — in fact, it’s pretty much a tried and true copy of the original. But the vocals? Ugh. Someone please smack these guys in the jaw for me.

-VN

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Projekt Revulsion – er, Revolution – Linkin Suck’s answers to Ozzfest/Summer Sanitarium/summer package tour of your choice, has announced its line-up for this year’s edition, and in addition to headliners The Chester Bennington Comedy Hour, the mainstage will include Chris Cornell, The Bravery, and Ashes Divide. Second stage performers will include Atreyu, 10 Years, Hawthorne Heights, and Armor for Sleep.

Okay, so I’m dying to see Ashes Divide live (or, for that matter, hear their album in its entirety – I don’t know how the label has done such a solid job of preventing it from leaking with only a week left ’til its release, for but good for them), but otherwise, this has to the tour to skip this summer. As of late, Chris Cornell seems to be going out his way to become a caricature of his former self, 10 Years, Hawthorne Heights and Armor for Sleep all blow goats, and even though I liked some of Atreyu’s pre-Lead Sails offerings, their live show is a painful demonstration of how reliant they are on Pro Tools and other studio chicanery.

I don’t know much about The Bravery but they strike me as the kind of band that is listened to exclusively by anorexic hipsters in skinny black jeans. Actually, they seem kind of out of place on this tour.

It’s interesting that Linkin Suck are booking a tour that’s so light on heavy bands. I wonder if that’s because they’re booked elsewhere or because Mike Shitoda and company are deliberately trying to distance themselves from the metal world that has so forcefully and maliciously busted their balls for the past seven years. Debate amongst yourselves while I pray for an Ashes Divide solo tour.

-AR

We have a treat for our Boston-area readers; well, some of you will surely consider it a treat anyways… others, a death sentence. ANYWAY, we’re giving away two pairs of free tickets (that’s two sets of two tickets each, for those who aren’t hip to the meaning of the word “pair”) for this Friday’s (March 21st) Taste of Chaos show at Tsongas Arena in Boston. The tour features Avenged Sevenfold, Atreyu, Bullet for My Valentine and newcomers Idiot Pilot.

All you have to do to win is email vince [at] metalsucks.net with “TASTE OF CHAOS CONTEST” in the subject line, and tell us who your favorite band is on Taste of Chaos and why. Make your answers funny. Also do not forget to include your full name and address. Winners will be notified tomorrow morning, and will receive their tickets in the mail Thursday via FedEx.

Since most of you probably don’t know who Idiot Pilot is, here’s their video for “Planted in the Dark” to give you a taste… of chaos… ba-dum-ching! I’ll be here all day, folks.

-VN

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So they’ve announced the tour dates and line-up for next year’s edition of the Taste of Chaos tour, and all we can can say is: holy SHIT. Avenged Sevenfold AND Atreyu AND Bullet for My Valentine? All on one tour? I hope they’re gonna be traveling in bullet proof buses with fuck loads of big SWAT team-type security dudes, because every Slayer and Watain fan from here to Gibraltar is gonna be trying to wipe out their three most loathed bands with one fell swoop. I’m serious: Nergal just called me to say he’s pretty sure this tour will bring about the Armageddon, and he didn’t mean it in a cool, “tr00″ kinda way.

While you ponder whether or not you plan to vote for this tour as “Suckiest” or “Least Sucky” in the 2008 Suckie Awards, check out tour dates after the jump.

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