Friday, January 20th, 2012 at 4:30pm by MetalSucks
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Welcome to “Question of the Week,” a (not really at all) weekly debate amongst the MetalSucks staff regarding a recent hot button issue.
Following the not-necessarily-logical-but-certainly-MetalSucksian conclusion that we need to counteract our recent Albums That Will Fuck Your Face Off in 2012 series, in which we preview some albums coming out this year about which we are totally stoked, this week we asked our writers:
WHAT ALBUM WILL HIT YOU IN THE FACE WITH A LIMP DICK IN 2012?
Friday, January 13th, 2012 at 3:00pm by Axl Rosenberg
Attack Attack! became well known in the modern metal scene for one reason and one reason only: they were a special brand of atrocious. In a way, that’s an achievement, because whatever else you could say about Attack Attack!, you can’t say that they weren’t unique. Everyone will remember the stupid fucking choreographed guitar-behind-the-head thing forever and all time. That’s not true for most scene bands, who will last in the memory about as long as cotton candy does in the mouth.
First, Not Rosie O’Donnell is screaming in the room from that one cool looking Korn video — y’know, with the bullet and the Todd McFarlane animation and shit? It was like one of the only neat things Korn ever did. But right away you should know, “Oh, shit, this is gonna be derivative and therefore boring, not innovative in its quest to induce the suicide of the listener/viewer.” And then there’s military suits and gas masks and scene jail bait and a deathcore breakdown, and then I just gave up.
Like, FUCK, Attack Attack!! Why’d you hafta get so lazy??? If you’re not careful, you’re gonna make it so it’s not even a joy for us to make fun of you anymore!
Wednesday, January 4th, 2012 at 5:00pm by Sergeant D
A bunch of people asked me why I didn’t do a Best Of 2011 list, and the answer is simple: I am a futurist! I don’t care about the past because I’m a lot more interested in what’s coming next. If you have to know what the best progressive djentstep cassette-only release of the year was, I’m sure there is a 200+ comment post that will give you more than enough detail on it. But if you want to know what the Next Big Thing will be, keep reading for my 2012 STATE OF THE SCENE ADDRESS!
In a nutshell, there is nothing more trendy this year than being tr00. MySpace is long dead, and while some of the bands that flourished on the site are still around, they’re dying along with the scene that surrounds them. Neon merch, generic deathcore and crabcore are out; ‘real hardcore,’ old-school death metal, and djent are in. Yesterday’s scene kid is today’s hipster/metal nerd, and in what should be welcome news to MS readers, it’s cool to be an elitist snob!
That said, scene isn’t quite dead. There are still plenty of kids in skinny jeans who love Asking Alexandria, Black Veil Brides are still moving units, and you can still spot the odd pair of ice cream DC high tops here and there. Expect 2012 to be an awkward transition year where new meets old, sort of like 1992 when Nirvana, Ugly Kid Joe and Kriss Kross all charted.
After the break: a scientific model of the scene, and what to expect from music, fashion, and media in 2011!
The gates of the Mansion may be shuttered this week, but that doesn’t mean there won’t still be a few bibs and bobs happening in the metal world before the holidays put us all into a food coma. To boot:
Attack Attack! are now a djent band. Check out their new tune here. Sergeant D misses the old Attack Attack!.
Every Time I Die invited fans up on stage for their last song at their annual Christmas song in Buffalo, NY, but the venue’s security team wasn’t having it. Watch video of the bench-clearing brawl that ensued here. Maybe it’s a pre-cursor for what’s to come when all the scene bands open for Every Time I Die at the 2012 New England Metal and Hardcore Fest?
Ratt singer Stephen Pearcy released an unplugged album of seven Ratt classics under his solo name. I wonder how his bandmates feel about that?
Jeff Loomis just completed a three-week clinic tour of China, Taiwan and Indonesia. Here’s Jeff permorning “Enemies of Reality” in Jakarta; Gawd, I love this dude.
Making fun Attack Attack! / crabcore is so 2008, but this spoof video is too funny and too well-executed not to post. Everything about it is on point, right down to the color palette all these grassy field / behind-the-warehouse-dad-works-in videos use to achieve a dim, sunset-like glow.
Last week we told you about Tower of Gopal, a satirical new band (or I guess I should say “band”) who seem pretty successful at ripping into both Scionic black metal bands and scene bands; now we’ve learned, via our buddy Sergeant D.’s Stuff You Will Hate, that not only is there a new ToG video, but the group has also launched a Kickstarter page , either to raise money to record their debut album, Party in Front, Merch in Back, or really just to make fun of ex-Attack Attack! guitarist Johnny Franck. Either way, I approve this message.
By the way, make sure you watch this video all the way through — I actually think the funniest bit comes at the end.
Here’s hoping there really is a Party in Front, Merch in Back sometime real soon.
Teenagers are always doing stupid, embarrassing shit in public, especially the ones who listen to metal. One of the most popular (and potentially humiliating) things a kid can do is enter their high school’s talent show, in particular if they make the mistake of playing a metal song in hopes of impressing their peers. For example, when I was in 9th or 10th grade, I was in a horrible band that played a Black Flag song in front of our school. Nobody thought it was cool, they just laughed at us. Thank god Youtube didn’t exist then, like it does for these dumb kids who embarrassed themselves by trying to be cool in front of their peers.
Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011 at 12:00pm by Sergeant D
The latest addition to the family over at leading independent music retailer VICTORY RECORDS is some band called THE BUNNY THE BEAR. I’m not too familiar with them but they kinda sound like Alien Ant Farm meets Panic At The Disco (with the trancecore breakdowns of Attack Attack! or Abandon All Ships thrown in) — in other words, a very innovative mix of influences that range from old school to cutting edge! IDK, I feel like the press release does a better job of describing it than I can:
Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011 at 10:30am by Axl Rosenberg
Well, the line-up for this year’s New England Metal & Hardcore Festival — one of the oldest and most revered extreme music fests in the U.S. — has been announced, and it’s… interesting. The fest returns to a three-day format after being only two days last year, but if I’m not mistaken, this is the first time that the initial day will be a Thursday, not a Friday. And as reader Brian Kessler pointed out to us via e-mail, there are two noteworthy aspects to the lineup:
It seems like metal and hardcore have been further segregated on the bill — Thursday appears to be almost entirely dedicated to deathcore and crabcore bands, Friday seems to be entirely devoted to hardcore bands, and Saturday is dominated by metal bands. There are pros and cons to this approach — the pro being that if you’re only a fan of one particular style of extreme music, you can cherry pick which day you’re going to attend, and the con being that new fans are less likely to be exposed to bands with whom they were not already familiar.
There seem to be fewer “big name” acts. Sure, Hatebreed and Biohazard are on there, but that’s still a far cry from years’ past. In fact, plenty of big name who have new albums scheduled to come out this year — like Amon Amarth, DevilDriver, Arch Enemy, In Flames, and Children of Bodom — aren’t playing the fest.
Please note that I’m not knocking the fest — in fact, I think Saturday, April 16 is full of killer bands — and I don’t think every fest needs to be headlined by a band of Megadeth’s stature. I just think this particular line-up is… interesting.
Tuesday, February 1st, 2011 at 10:30am by Axl Rosenberg
Well, the line-up for this year’s New England Metal & Hardcore Festival — one of the oldest and most revered extreme music fests in the U.S. — has been announced, and it’s… interesting. The fest returns to a three-day format after being only two days last year, but if I’m not mistaken, this is the first time that the initial day will be a Thursday, not a Friday. And as reader Brian Kessler pointed out to us via e-mail, there are two noteworthy aspects to the lineup:
It seems like metal and hardcore have been further segregated on the bill — Thursday appears to be almost entirely dedicated to deathcore and crabcore bands, Friday seems to be entirely devoted to hardcore bands, and Saturday is dominated by metal bands. There are pros and cons to this approach — the pro being that if you’re only a fan of one particular style of extreme music, you can cherry pick which day you’re going to attend, and the con being that new fans are less likely to be exposed to bands with whom they were not already familiar.
There seem to be fewer “big name” acts. Sure, Hatebreed and Biohazard are on there, but that’s still a far cry from years’ past. In fact, plenty of big name who have new albums scheduled to come out this year — like Amon Amarth, DevilDriver, Arch Enemy, In Flames, and Children of Bodom — aren’t playing the fest.
Please note that I’m not knocking the fest — in fact, I think Saturday, April 16 is full of killer bands — and I don’t think every fest needs to be headlined by a band of Megadeth’s stature. I just think this particular line-up is… interesting.
Friday, January 28th, 2011 at 3:30pm by Sergeant D
This post will be very concise and to the point: The other day I realized that nearly all metalcore/screamo/post-hardcore videos take place in a grassy field, and I will use this space to list several examples. I don’t know if you have ever tried to make a Wikipedia entry, but it’s really hard because some pedantic nerd/ass hole/etc. will delete it in like two minutes (like when I tried to make a Wiki for wigger slam back in the day), so I feel like MetalSucks is the best venue to document this phenomenon.
[Thanks to tween expert/post-teenager Elise from Reign In Blonde for a couple of these examples]
Monday, January 17th, 2011 at 4:00pm by Sergeant D
Kinda looks like his shirt says “SHEART” lol like SHART
So today I got a Twitter message from Johnny Franck, who was the guitarist in Attack Attack!, but he quit bc he was partying too much and felt like he was not being a good Christian. But he is starting a new band called The March Ahead. I guess bc they are a new band they don’t have a lot of money and they are trying to collect $4500 in donations to record their demo with Joey Sturgis and I wanted to ask u guys if you can help!! He has a page set up where u can donate and here is what it says on there:
Wednesday, January 12th, 2011 at 1:30pm by Axl Rosenberg
Let’s pretend I wrote an intro and put it here and now you’ve read it and we can move on.
First up we this snow filled day we have Mychildren Mybride’s video for “Jonathan Davis” — err, sorry, “King of the Hopeless” — which debuted on Metal Injection.
At first I was like, “Wait, haven’t I seen this video before?” And then I was like, “Wait, I HAVE seen this video before!”
Tuesday, January 4th, 2011 at 12:30pm by Axl Rosenberg
Well here’s a fun, intelligent, and above all else, exceedingly polite e-mail we got from reader Dan Wolfson last night:
Subject: PAINTED IN FUCKING EXILE YOU IDIOTS
From: dan wolfson
To: MetalSucks
WHY HAVE YOU NOT JIZZED OVER THIS VIDEO YET
FOOLS
So Vince actually had nice things (well, really, a nice thing) to say about this band as part of a Reader’s Choice round-up back in 2009, but as regular readers are aware, Vince is a much nicer person than I am. So please allow me to explain why I have not yet jizzed all over this video or this band:
Friday, November 12th, 2010 at 10:30am by Axl Rosenberg
It was a little over a year ago that Rosie O’Donnell quit Attack Attack!, but the band has managed to persevere without her. Unfortunately, now guitarist Johnny Franck has quit the band, too. And this being the internet age, Franck wasn’t content to just release a statement, the way most musicians do when they leave a successful band. Instead, he made a Real World-style confessional video in which he explains that “being out on tour really damages my relationship with God” and that he wants to “work on strengthening my relationship with Him.” Whenever I hear a musician say something like that, my mind always goes right to, “Translation: I was partying too much on the road, and my guilt is now manifesting itself as religious fervor,” but since I don’t actually know Attack Attack! or Franck, I admit that that could be total BS. (He also refers to Attack Attack! as “AA,” which I don’t think he should do; surely, I can’t be the only one who will forever associate “AA” with “Alcoholic’s Anonymous.”)
In any case, that’s not even the funniest part of this video. After declaring himself down with G-O-D and making sure that everyone knows that he still loves the dudes in Attack Attack!, that he wasn’t fired from the band, and that he will still be making music on his own*, Franck, for reasons I couldn’t even begin to speculate upon, ends the video with a nearly three-and-a-half minute home movie montage of him and the band frolicking while on tour in Australia… set to the music of John Mayer.
John Mayer? Really, guy? Are you leaving a shitty crabcore band, or did your girlfriend die right before prom? What the fuck is this? What the fuck does this have to do with anything? How the fuck does anyone take this fucking band seriously???
-AR
*I’ve never quite understood the whole “leaving a successful band for God but going to start another band” mentality. Does Franck plan for his new band to never tour? If so, how does he plan for them to achieve any measure of success? And if they are going to tour, then how can be sure that those tours won’t damage his relationship with God? And if he is sure that those tours won’t damage his relationship with God, then presumably it’s because he’s figured out the key to touring without offending God — in which case, why not just stay in the already-successful band of which he is currently a member? Is it as simple as “The other dudes in Attack Attack! won’t stop partying so I need to join a band with a ‘no party’ policy?” The whole thing is baffling to me.
Thursday, October 28th, 2010 at 4:00pm by Sergeant D
If you are making a list of the most charismatic personalities and tastemaking opinion leaders within the screamo/metalcore scene, you are definitely going to have Austin Carlile in the #1 spot. Whether it is his work with Christian crabcore pioneers Attack Attack!, vocalist for groundbreaking metalcore artists Of Mice & Men, or his upcoming solo material, it seems like everything Austin touches turns to solid gold (he got kicked out of both of those bands, but I think it was just because they were jealous of his charisma)! And if you are like me, you are always hungry for more information on what he is doing, even if it is the most mundane, trivial details of his life. Lucky for us fans, he has been video blogging a lot, giving us a peek behind the scenes at what it is like to be one of Rise Records hottest new artists — here’s the latest!
I LOLed so hard at all the silly things his dog did at the beach!!! LOL it was all “I’m a dog, IDK how to act at the beach!!!”
Tuesday, October 26th, 2010 at 5:00pm by Sergeant D
While these days metal fandom is basically just a contest to see who can fap harder and faster to obscure technical death metal, it wasn’t always that way. In fact, many of the bands that internet metal nerds regard as legendary icons today were either hated or ignored when they were at their peak — fellow oldz will know exactly what I’m talking about. In this post, I will remind us all what fickle, trendy conformists metal fans can be by taking a stroll down memory lane and recalling vintage popular opinion of a few of your pet bands (hint: it wasn’t good!).
Friday, October 15th, 2010 at 5:00pm by Axl Rosenberg
Seriously, if you haven’t read Vince’s epic story about how MetalSucks Maniac “whiskey” won last week’s last week’s photo caption contest, you need to go read it now. It’s pretty amazing. Whiskey’s mom even left a comment! We like to think of MetalSucks as something the whole fucking family can enjoy together, so that warmed the cockles of our collective heart.
Here’s some other fun stuff that happened this week:
Next week is CMJ here in New York! If you’re in the area and looking for some awesome metal, check out our handy guide to all the festivities — including not one but TWO showcases sponsored by MetalSucks. We’re not gonna lie — we are going to be very hungover and tired next week. But that just means we’ll be crankier than usual. We’ll still be here with lots of debuts, interviews, and other assorted nonsense. Bring your mom! It’ll be fun.
Wednesday, October 13th, 2010 at 2:00pm by Axl Rosenberg
MetalSucks Maniac Fantasyoosh apparently hates us, ’cause he sent us this video a dude who calls himself Etienne Sin (he’s a solo artist… those other two cool bros are his backing band, I guess), and who boast of being “the leader of independent Post-hardcore music and the First and Only artist to bring you ‘Acoustic Post-hardcore music.’” (Why are the words “post,” “first,” “only,” and “acoustic” capitalized in that sentence? Don’t ask.) Of course, no one has ever done an acoustic version of an Attack Attack! song before because it’s an awful fucking idea. But, hey, this dude got a post on MetalSucks, so I guess his gimmick worked at least a little.
If you can’t sit through the whole thing — and I certainly can’t blame you if you don’t — just skip to the 54 second mark. Yep. They kept the synchronized guitar swing. It’s amazing that to people who hate this band and people who love this band, that moment from the video is what sticks out.
Kinda looks like his shirt says “SHEART” lol like SHART
