Like a lot of people, I first became familiar with Brian Posehn because of his time on David Cross and Bob Odenkirk’s brilliant HBO sketch comedy series, Mr. Show, for which he was also a writer. A few years after that show went off the air, my then-roommate and I went to see Posehn do some stand-up at a comedy club here in New York. I don’t think we were even there to see Posehn specifically – if memory serves, David Cross was the actual draw for us – but he was so funny that I actually laughed so hard I became winded and fell out of my chair. Since then, he’s been on a very, very short list of stand-ups that I never miss the chance to check out when they come through town. Mr. Show sketches about a fictional band called “Titannica” led me to believe that someone on the series’ writing staff was a metal fan, but I didn’t know that it was Posehn until later – and the revelation that he was just as obsessed with metal as I was only made him that much cooler.

Fart and Wiener Jokes, Posehn’s second album for Relapse, comes out today (and you can order a copy here). Like its predecessor, Live: In Nerd Rage, it features not only recordings of his brilliant stand-up, but also an original song he co-wrote with Anthrax’s Scott Ian (“More Metal Than You”) to poke fun at some of metal’s more regrettable foibles. It also has a metal cover of Kenny Rogers’ “The Gambler,” and between the two music tracks, Posehn has managed to rope in guest appearances by such all-stars as Jamey Jasta, Mark Morton, Mark Oseguenda, John Tempesta, and Russ Parrish. Assuming you love great comedy and great metal, there’s no way you’re not gonna dig Fart and Wiener Jokes.

A few weeks ago I got to talk to Posehn about putting comedy albums out on a metal label, what it’s like to be friends with some of his boyhood heroes, the state of metal today, his take on the Anthrax vocalist situation, and more. He even turned the tables at the end and asked me a question! Read the complete transcript of our chat after the jump.

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Valient Thorr are one of those bands you’ve got to see live to truly understand. Sure, their breed of trad metal and fiery blues rock is appealing enough on its own, but it’s not until you see these guys perform that really get what they’re all about. And it’s not their fault; it’s just really hard to convey the combination of humor and ferocity that makes Valient Thorr be Valient Thorr in any studio recording.

All this is relevant because Valient Thorr just released the new track “Doublecrossed” for free download on their official website. The track is classic Thorr with all the aforementioned qualities, but I’m sure it’d be that much more kick-ass to see the band play it live. Lucky for you, VT are about to head out on a bonerific tour with Mastodon, Between the Buried and Me and Baroness. Will they play this track? Who knows, but whether they do or they don’t Valient Thorr are always a fun time. You’d be a sucker if you didn’t arrive early to see them play.

“Doublecrossed” comes from an untitled record the band just finished recording with producer Jack Endino, due for release this Fall. Download it here. Tour dates after the jump.

-VN

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I’ve seen Sam Worthington in two movies now, Avatard and Terminator Suckvation. In case you can’t tell, I did not enjoy either movie. I also did not enjoy Mr. Worthington’s performance in either movie. Primarily because it’s hard to believe that any man is an American when he so clearly has an Australian accent. I mean, I can suspend disbelief and all that, but you gotta give me something to work with, y’know?

But I guess I should be nice to Sammy. ‘Cause Sean “Spleen Latifa” Gresens from Metal Injection just sent me an interview Worthington did for MTV to promote his latest thing I’m not sure why I’m going to see even though I know I’m going to see it, Clash of the Titans. And, as you can see, Sammy is a Baroness fan. Or fucked a Baroness fan and took her (his?) shirt before running out the door to do this interview. Either way.

Alright. Anyone who likes Baroness can’t be all bad, right? I mean, at least now we’d have something to talk about, other than “So many people standing around the Terminator set and no one ever said aloud ‘Hey, guys, this isn’t working?’”

You can watch the actual interview after the jump. Unfortunately, the topic of Baroness never comes up – they just blabber on and on about the Clash of the Titans remake, which is going to be superior of the original by virtue of being shot in 2-D but then being shittily converted to 3-D, having CGI instead of Harryhausen, and the bad guy from Casino Royale. Yeah, that sounds like two hours well-spent.

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Real metalheads only stage their own personal Whackin Festival with black tissues

Given the staggering number of e-mails we’ve received from you guys since The PRP broke the story last night, I’m not really sure if I’m telling any of you anything you don’t already know, but just in case:

MASTODON, BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME, BARONESS, AND VALIENT THORR ARE ALL TOURING TOGETHER THIS SPRING

Yes, that is glorious news. I’ve never seen Valient Thorr live, but I do enjoy their music, and the other three bands are all great live. So there isn’t really much else to say here beyond, y’know, go to this.

Dates after the jump.

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I was in sunny Los Angeles a few weeks ago. There, nestled among the palm-lined streets, gleeful roller-skating commuters and destroyed real estate market, is a dank little office building where a personal injury lawyer shares space with a bunch of bearded fellows in their 20s. This is our record label (the beards, not the lawyers). So let’s say you were to go inside this cave of workplace: past the boxes and boxes of a particular 10-inch that someone had waaay over estimated the demand for; past the energetic bull terrier sniffing crotches of employees, owners, visitors and interns alike without discrimination; past even my 3 year old son, patiently watching Wonder Pets on a portable DVD player beneath the looming poster of impending rape happily portrayed in The Evil Dead. There, on a water-stained fourth-hand couch, you would have found me sitting as I talked one of the chaps who runs the whole affair. Let’s listen.

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Halfway between the classic stoner rock of Baroness and the progged-out, furious rolling soundscapes of Mastodon lies Blood of the Tyrant, a Chicago-based band that’s good enough to have a burger named after them at famed heavy metal eatery Kuma’s Corner (and with a name like The Blood of the Tyrant Burger… that shit better be ordered none other than bloody RARE).

“Helena,” from their self-titled four-song EP, is the longest, most involved and most impressive track on the record, recalling elements of both of the aforementioned bands while creating something all their own. The band has given us “Helena” to offer to you for free; stream or download it below, and let us know what you think.

With a merciless touring history that includes shared stages with the likes of Minsk, Yakuza, Battlefields, Kongh, The Atlas Moth, Javelina and more, I’d be mighty curious to see these guys live next time they roll through NYC.

[this download is longer available]

-VN

From time to time, new MetalSucks editorial intern Dave Mustein will be doing some short reviews of unsigned and lesser-known bands for us. We hope you enjoy…

The MS Mansion recently received a an album entitled Cleansed Through Fire and Blood from a Portland, Oregon band called Salvador. Although I would expect a band with that moniker to play Spanish-themed deathcore or something, Salvador actually plays some excellent stoner rock/metal à la sludgier Baroness and early-to-middle Mastodon.

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Last year Baroness played a truly stellar set that left me weak in the knees; this year, despite having had actual knee surgery back in April, I felt pretty damn sturdy after dem “stoner-metal-meets-Ford-truck-jingle” Georgians finished their consistent yet largely humdrum set a couple weeks ago.

As many of y’all have commented recently, this year’s Blue Record is somewhat of a step down from 2007′s mostly strong Red Album (which in itself was a dilution in certain ways from the band’s prior EPs First and Second), and as can be expected, the live set has slightly suffered as a result. [Axl strongly disagrees. - Ed.]

Thankfully my assessment has more to do with the waning quality of songs/songwriting on the new album record — the band’s execution of said songs was pretty impeccable, and the energy was ferocious. But is that enough to sustain a whole set? Well, not for me — about halfway through I started getting bored by the even-keeled-ness of the sound — but I also feel compelled to recognize that the majority of the crowd seemed to by-and-large eat up every moment.

So who’s right? Well, as we hopefully learned last week, music criticism is not about right and wrong (despite some folks’ insistence on deeming others *wrong* for expressing their opinions, pedantic as they may be). I will continue to wish Baroness the best, and I truly hope that the next offering blows all previous efforts away. But I’d be lying if I said I’m not somewhat skeptical. Oh well — they can’t possibly fuck up a winning streak nearly as much as these watered-down dudes.

ANYWAY — the real question is, what be’d my favorite live set of the year?

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The latest MetalSucks intern found that suggesting Five Finger Death Punch for “best album of ’09″ didn’t go so well.

And the hits keep on coming.

Chad Bowar of About.com is the latest to post his year-end list. Some of the usual suspects are there (Mastodon, Baroness, Coalesce) but some of the albums that seem to be ending up on pretty much everyone’s list are conspicuously absent (O Converge, where art thou?), and there are some real surprises, too. But there’s nothing that makes me wanna smack myself in the forehead and shout “What the what?!?”

Check out the list here, then continue the arguing about the best metal albums of ’09 in our comments section.

-AR

Sometimes I feel fairly certain that a substantial portion of the people who leave comments on MetalSucks would be considered legally brain dead by most medical doctors. Having said that, I’m glad they read our website.

Here’s what happened in the world of metal this week:

• We spoke to Darkthrone’s Fenriz, Iron Age’s Wade Allison, and Swallow the Sun’s Juha Raivio.
• We debuted a new video from Austrian Death Machine.
• Everyone wants to kill everyone else because of all these decade end lists.
• Also, people are cranky about that Dimebag tribute album.
• Kip Wingerschmidt thinks that Stewert Voegtlin’s recent trashing of Baroness, Mastodon, Pelican and Neurosis was “eloquent.” The Austerity Program’s Justin Foley disagrees.
• Unfortunately, there is going to be a new Limp Bizkit album.
• Lambgoat is streaming “Mechanical Seas,” a new song by The Binary Code!
• I admit it: I left the ring stain on Julia Louis-Dreyfuss’ table.

Last night we went to a fancy-schmancy holiday party with an open bar and got faschnickered. Tonight I’m… going to a fancy-schmancy holiday party with an open bar. If I’m not here Monday, it’s because I died of alcohol poisoning.

Have a good one, y’all.

-AR

From time to time in the past we’ve exchanged e-mails with The Austerity Program‘s Justin Foley, and the dude’s e-mails were so goddamn funny (not to mention smart) that we finally asked him to write for us. Hopefully Justin’s contributions to MetalSucks will become a regular, or at least semi-regular, occurrence. Enjoy!

MORE COMPLAINTS ABOUT THAT BAD VILLAGE VOICE THING. I KNOW, IT’S BEST TO IGNORE THESE THINGS BUT I JUST CAN’T THIS TIME.

“O Confusion! Cruel mistress – thou who would lead thine servants to slaughter like a lamb also gets led (Ed – to slaughter). Cruel! Innocent lambs, gently editing metal blogs, knowing not of your unkind plans nor the wicked scroll of fate.” Henry VI, Act 4

Like many of you jokers, I was struck with a growing sadness as I read the nonsense that that nice Wingerschmidt boy posted the other day. Sadness because it really missed the main point about the Voice’s article –a refreshingly pure distillation of concentrated bullshit. Fortunately, I didn’t miss it and neither did many of those who commented. But just in case there’s any doubt, let me tell you why that Voice writer has it so, so wrong.

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Now I’m not saying I agree with all, most, or even any of the points made in Stewert Voegtlin’s recent bitter-tastic Village Voice article (aptly entitled “Sketchy Metal”), but holy jeez a voice of dissension should be appreciated, welcome, and even necessary at times, especially when certain bands are so blindly revered by so many…..and furthermore anybody who can bring such a well-worded subtly sardonic taste to their Hateology (free album title!) a la our own Gary Suarez deserves a complimentary bong hit.

The article starts out with an analysis on Pelican’s sound (or lack thereof), positing that the Chicago band’s thang never crystallizes into anything approaching authentic emotion, but that some bands that Pelican derives influence from (Trans Am, in particular) have made plenty of music worth veneration, especially back in the day.  Hmm……agreed.

I almost joined the Train of Descent (free band name!) recently myself when I was considering writing an article — which was to be called MASTODON EVOLVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THEIR SOUND ON CRACK THE SKYE….EXCEPT FOR THE LYRICS – about the many cliches held within several of the lyrics on Crack the Skye. However, after listening to the album a few more times to get a clearer context of the lyrics to the piece as a whole, I cleaned my shorts off and reconsidered libeling the best modern progressive metal band of the decade.

But Voegtlin? This guy ain’t takin no prisoners (pls disregard double negative)……my favorite gem of haterade enclosed within the article definitely has to be Voegtlin’s response to Baroness’ John Baizley’s claim that his band’s music is influenced by “fine art, cinema, and literature”:

[This is] as stiltedly silly as name-dropping higher mathematics, physics, or philosophy, when what the band really peddles is exactly the everything-and-nothing Hallmark heft so many claim to uncover in Pelican’s wordless, aimless songs. While Baizely’s predilection to hawk such High Times erudition makes him sound more puerile than he likely is, it’s difficult to imagine him honestly striving to disseminate meta-emotional discourse through music as transparently commercial as his band’s stoner-metal-meets-Ford-truck-jingle approach.

Yowza!!

More insightful dissin’ and the link to the actual article afterthejump.

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Baroness have grown leaps and bounds as a live band. It’s been a cool experience to watch this band mature over the past 2 years or so… from an adrenaline and sweat-filled room in a makeshift venue in the back of a Mexican restaurant, to a poised but still unsure-of-themselves band on a bigger stage a year later, to bonafide rockstars at the end of 2009. Baroness looked completely comfortable on the stage of the Bowery Ballroom, effortlessly commanding the attention of the sold out 550-capacity venue. They’ve now made the ascension from scrappy new band to the big leagues… of course there’s still a long way to go, but last Friday they proved that they’re fully capable.

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You know how I know things aren’t all terrible in the metal world right now? The people who run iTunes think there’s enough money to be made that they’ve now created an entire metal section.

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Over the weeken, Baroness released a video for “A Horse Called Golgotha,” one of many excellent tracks from their latest effort Blue Record. I’m not sure Blue Record will end up in my year-end top records list, but I know plenty of people who love the shit out of this record and I certainly can’t begrudge them that; it IS really good.

So this video is pretty psychedelic / trippy / artsy, much like Blue Record itself. I’d sum it up thusly: if Hugh Jackman’s “future” character in Darren Aronofsky’s The Fountain had been sick, twisted and tortured on the inside instead of a Zen-like testament to patience, this is what the movie would’ve looked like. Stop the presses, Vince made a movie reference! Next thing you know Axl’s going to write his own Metal Mets column.

-VN

Baroness – ‘Blue Record’ Out Now!!! | MySpace Video

I’m posting this video interview our friends at Noisecreep conducted with Baroness’ John Baizley for two reasons:

1. Baroness is awesome and their new album, The Blue Record, is the cat’s pajamas.
2. It was edited by our friend Tommy Wee. Tommy’s not even really that big a metal guy, but even he thinks The Blue Record is frickin’ sweet.

Enjoy.

-AR

Not that we had any doubt Baroness’ Blue Record would have a strong debut, but it’s always nice to see the proof. And Skeletonwitch’s ripping new record Breathing the Fire had a great debut too; I’m elated to see the band sell as many records first week as they did. Elsewhere it was the usual radio rock / alt-metal suspects dominating the charts. Click through to see chart positions and sales figures.

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Pretty big week here at the MetalSucks Mansion. We laughed, we cried, we fired someone, we rocked out with our cocks out. Here’s a rundown of the highlights:

• We debuted a new song by The Devin Townsend Project, a new video by Skeletonwitch, a new song by Javelina, and the cover art for Sigh’s new album.
• Horse the Band’s Lord Gold blogged about Nawlins and cocaine, God Forbid’s Doc Coyle gave us an exclusive statement about that whole cup throwing incident, Dallas Coyle is giving away music for free, and Daath’s Eyal Levi talked about a run-in with the Polacks and drum triggers.
• We spoke to Dethklok’s Brendon Small, Converge’s Jacob Bannon, Gojira’s Joe Duplantier, and Liturgy’s Hunter Hunt-Hendrix.
• We checked out new releases from Baroness, The Red Chord, Skeletonwitch, Immortal, Vains of Jenna, Vampire Mooose, and Javelina. Also, some asshole really likes Oceano.
• We’re sponsoring the incredibly awesome Tyrants of Evil North American Tour 2010 with Arch Enemy, Exodus, Arsis, and Mutiny Within!

Alright. I’m going to see Where the Wild Things Are now. I’m fairly certain that it is going to make me weep like Gary Suarez. See ya Monday.

-AR

I’m gonna keep this short n’ sweet, because we’ve already expressed many times how much we love this album. But if a few of you need some graphics of horns to really convince you to go out and buy this thing, so be it.

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Alright, you brats, this is it. Baroness’ Blue Record comes out next Tuesday, October 13 on Relapse, but the band is now streaming the entire album right here.

The album is fucking great. I know I’ve said that a bunch of times, but really, it’s just an awesome rock n’ roll record. If it’s not at the tippy top of my year end list, it’s gonna be very, very close.

Now go listen.

-AR