How come Miss Piggy can’t count to 70? ‘Cause every time she gets to 69, she gets a frog in her throat.

ANYWAY, here’s how we amused ourselves this week:

• We debuted new videos from DevilDriver and Intronaut.
• We also debuted new music from Battilus and VYGR.
• We started a cool new series of tour blogs from Eluveitie and learned fifteen new things about Crowbar’s Kirk Windstein.
• We spoke to Josh Scogin from The Chariot and Mark LeVine, author of Heavy Metal Islam.
• We checked out the latest releases from Regicide, Dragged Into Sunlight, Macabre, and Abraham.
• We helped Burzum launch a new clothing line.
• We learned a sexy new stage move from Dr. Acula.
• We continued to feel embarrassed for Slash.
• We pleaded with record labels to start using Bandcamp and stop using MySpace.
• We mourned the loss of Guitar Hero.

Speaking of 69ing: Monday is Valentine’s Day. I’m just reminding you in case you’re a burnout and you forgot to get something for your woman. Don’t say I never did nuthin’ for ya.

-AR

A couple of weeks back we reported on the sudden glut of U.S. metal festivals this year, the latest of which is the MetalSucks-sponsored Planet Caravan 2-day metal festival being held in Asheville, NC this September. Quick refresher: Clutch, Pentagram, Kylesa, Burst (first and last U.S. tour ever!), Wino and many others. Today we’re thrilled to announce that the already strong bill has gotten that much stronger with a slew of heavyweight bands added: Tombs, The Gates of Slumber, Zoroaster, Bison B.C., Sourvein, doom kings/queen Salome, and friends of MetalSucks Hull and Battilus, the latter 3 of which will be touring the U.S. together around that time. All of the newly added acts will perform on the also-newly added second stage, right next door to the Orange Peel mainstage at Mo Daddy’s.

If you live anywhere close to North Carolina, how can you even consider not going to this event? It’s going to be a fucking rager. Tickets are on sale here or at the Orange Peel box office.

-VN