MetalSucks

So many of you have e-mailed us this week to instruct us to post news about the fact that Opeth and Enslaved are touring together that I’m fairly certain posting news about the fact that Opeth and Enslaved are touring together is a complete waste of time; I mean, clearly, everyone and their mother is already aware of this tour.

I’m not saying this isn’t an awesome package – clearly, it is – I’m just saying, you’ve all sent us the news and the tour dates, so what can we tell you that you don’t already know? How about this: we will be at the show at the Starland Ballroom in NJ, and we will be high. Actually, you probably knew that already, too.

I’m putting tour dates after the jump, although I don’t for the life of me know why.

Click to read more…

Next week the U.S. gets a new President, thank fucking God, and Relapse Records is celebrating by issuing a 7″ box set of their This Comp Kills Fascists compilation. How fucking awesome is that? Until then, here’s what we’ll mull over during the long weekend (MLK day in the U.S.):

• Would you like to suck my cock, Berzerker? Or would you just like to look at some bloody titties, Berzerker?
• Lamb of God announce most awesomest tour ever with As I Lay Dying (meh), Children of Bodom, God Forbid and Municipal Waste, while Killswitch Engage, Chimaira and Lacuna Coil will be worth the ticket price as long as we leave before Disturbed goes on.
• Best soundboard ever. (Hint: fun with David Lee Roth sound bites)
• Bring Me The Hair Irons Horizon continued being boring.
• We spoke with Gojira’s Joe Duplantier and Animosity’s Leo Miller.
• Behemoth’s Nergal showed his face, while this dude just buried his in a bunch of watermelons.