MetalSucks

I became a fan of The Smashing Pumpkins the minute I heard “Drown” (or was it, “Cherub Rock?”), and as such I have followed the work of Billy Corgan throughout the lifespan of that band, not to mention his endeavors both with Zwan and on his own. Though I scoffed at the irrational backlash that accompanied the 2005 reunion sans James Iha and D’arcy Wretzky, I still have to concede that 2007’s Zeitgeist was the weakest Pumpkins release ever, and perhaps the worst album of Corgan’s career to date. The commercial failure of that record and the recent departure of longtime drummer Jimmy Chamberlin raised questions regarding the band’s future, though Corgan seems to have pulled a Page Hamilton (or perhaps an Axl Rose), carrying on with hired guns and invited guests. For you see, he now intends to release 44 new Smashing Pumpkins songs online for free. In the words of my beloved Internets: DO NOT WANT.

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When I first heard that Courtney Love was going to release her long-delayed solo record under the Hole name, I considered it “a huge fuck you to co-founder Eric Erlandson.” Though the argument has been made that the influence and involvement of Kurt Cobain and Billy Corgan may have had more to do with the band’s successes than the work of its official membership, I wondered how it was even permissible for her to utilize the name. Surely there had to be legal hurdles to be dealt with that couldn’t be dismissed without consent from former members. (I mean, Axl Rose effectively destroyed Guns N’ Roses by compelling his bandmates to relinquish all rights to the name.) So I’ve been waiting for Erlandson or someone from Hole’s management to comment on Love’s unilateral decision to shamelessly cash-in on the Hole brand. Well, at last, he has:

Furthermore, guitarist Erlandson insists a contract Love signed with him in 2002 bans her from using the name Hole for any future ventures, unless he’s involved. He tells Spin magazine, “We have a contract. She signed a contract with me when we decided to break up the band, which was like 2002 or something, so I really don’t have comment on it except that I know my part in that band. The way I look at it, there is no Hole without me. To put it blunt. Just on a business level… Somebody told me (about Love’s plans) and it just sounds like something… it just sounds like the usual. I love her a lot and I wish her the best, and I’m open to discussions regarding the real Hole, and if she has a solo album together, I think that’s great. I think she should finish it and put it out and do that.”

Of course, Love has responded to this seemingly sound logic with her usual grace, tact, and impeccable grammar… via Twitter.
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Paleozoic UK-based periodical NME reported today that Courtney Love will release her long-delayed second solo record as a Hole album. Apparently, none of the band’s other members will actually perform on the record, save for a possible appearance on backing vocals by Hole’s last bassist Melissa auf der Maur. With a brazen move that would make Burton and Dino blush, the Gratest Bloggre On Earht has effectively delivered a huge fuck you to co-founder Eric Erlandson by co-opting the name in an attempt to save her perpetually disintegrating career.

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Scars on Broadway didn’t work out. I’m still not entirely sure why. There seems to be some consesus that their album sucked, but I didn’t think so at all (and neither did my colleague Sammy O’Hagar, who reviewed the record). In any case, it’s a moot point, because at the end of the day, all any of us really want is for System of a Down to get back together already.

And I suspect no one wants that more than drummer John Dolmayan, who apparently auditioned to be the new drummer for Smashing Pumpkins. Because there’s really only two possible reasons he might have done this:

1. He’s bored.
2. He’s broke.

For the sake of humor, let’s assume Dolmayan is broke.

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What’s better than music? FREE MUSIC! Here’s some shit people are currently giving away for the price of air.

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Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with Billy Corgan? The Associated Press reports that the bald rock god, a mere shadow of his former self, is suing his record label of 17 years, Virgin Records, because said label’s “use of the band in a ‘Pepsi Stuff’ promotion with Amazon.com and Pepsi Co. threatens their reputation for ‘artistic integrity.’”

ARTISTIC FUCKING INTEGRITY?! Is this shithead completely fucking bonkers or what? You wanna talk about damaging your artistic integrity, let’s talk about how you’re doing Smashing Pumpkins “reunion” without 50% of the Smashing Pumpkins. Let’s talk about your decision to include photos of Paris Hilton in your album’s liner notes. Or let’s just talk about the fact that you made a really, really shitty album. Ya think any of that shit might’ve damaged your so-called “artistic integrity,” Billy? Fuck, Trent Reznor even called you “corporate.” And what’s the photo above this article, Billy? Oh, yeah. It’s a picture of you. With Courtney Love. At the fucking premiere for the movie Freedom Writers. Your artistic integrity is about as intact as Edsel Dope’s career, so let’s cut the shit. If you’re pissed that the label fucked you out of royalties for using your image and/or music in a soda ad, that’s one thing, but don’t bitch and moan about artistic integrity.

There’s only one bald Billy making relevant alt rock right now, and that’s Billy Howerdel. While we’re waiting for his new album to get released next month, someone please beat Corgan to death with a sock full of quarters.

-AR