This picture: STILL FUNNY!

Evan Seinfeld and Biohazard have parted ways, and just mere months before the release of the band’s reunion album, their first release since 2005′s There Was a Biohazard Album in 2005? In a statement, guitarist Bobby Hambel explains the split simply by saying “it’s time for a change,” but doesn’t elaborate. Presumably Seinfeld will release his own statement sometime soon.

He’d better, at least! It was just this past November that Seinfeld declared the new Biohazard album to be “almost too good,” a promise that doesn’t actually mean anything. Now he’s gonna hafta explain why he would possibly abandon such a momentous project. Was he actually fired? Was his previous total overhyping complete BS? Would he rather just spend time with his ventriloquist dummy? I’m dying to know the answer.

-AR

[via Metal Underground]

Well, the line-up for this year’s New England Metal & Hardcore Festival — one of the oldest and most revered extreme music fests in the U.S. — has been announced, and it’s… interesting. The fest returns to a three-day format after being only two days last year, but if I’m not mistaken, this is the first time that the initial day will be a Thursday, not a Friday. And as reader Brian Kessler pointed out to us via e-mail, there are two noteworthy aspects to the lineup:

• It seems like metal and hardcore have been further segregated on the bill — Thursday appears to be almost entirely dedicated to deathcore and crabcore bands, Friday seems to be entirely devoted to hardcore bands, and Saturday is dominated by metal bands. There are pros and cons to this approach — the pro being that if you’re only a fan of one particular style of extreme music, you can cherry pick which day you’re going to attend, and the con being that new fans are less likely to be exposed to bands with whom they were not already familiar.
• There seem to be fewer “big name” acts. Sure, Hatebreed and Biohazard are on there, but that’s still a far cry from years’ past. In fact, plenty of big name who have new albums scheduled to come out this year — like Amon Amarth, DevilDriver, Arch Enemy, In Flames, and Children of Bodom — aren’t playing the fest.

Please note that I’m not knocking the fest — in fact, I think Saturday, April 16 is full of killer bands — and I don’t think every fest needs to be headlined by a band of Megadeth’s stature. I just think this particular line-up is… interesting.

Anyway, here’s the full bill:

Click to read more…

Well, the line-up for this year’s New England Metal & Hardcore Festival — one of the oldest and most revered extreme music fests in the U.S. — has been announced, and it’s… interesting. The fest returns to a three-day format after being only two days last year, but if I’m not mistaken, this is the first time that the initial day will be a Thursday, not a Friday. And as reader Brian Kessler pointed out to us via e-mail, there are two noteworthy aspects to the lineup:

• It seems like metal and hardcore have been further segregated on the bill — Thursday appears to be almost entirely dedicated to deathcore and crabcore bands, Friday seems to be entirely devoted to hardcore bands, and Saturday is dominated by metal bands. There are pros and cons to this approach — the pro being that if you’re only a fan of one particular style of extreme music, you can cherry pick which day you’re going to attend, and the con being that new fans are less likely to be exposed to bands with whom they were not already familiar.
• There seem to be fewer “big name” acts. Sure, Hatebreed and Biohazard are on there, but that’s still a far cry from years’ past. In fact, plenty of big name who have new albums scheduled to come out this year — like Amon Amarth, DevilDriver, Arch Enemy, In Flames, and Children of Bodom — aren’t playing the fest.

Please note that I’m not knocking the fest — in fact, I think Saturday, April 16 is full of killer bands — and I don’t think every fest needs to be headlined by a band of Megadeth’s stature. I just think this particular line-up is… interesting.

Anyway, here’s the full bill:

Click to read more…

MS photographic whiz Jacqueline Cheng’s latest conquest was Biohazard’s year-ending headline show at New York City’s Best Buy Theater (formerly Nokia) on December 16th with Life of Agony. Jackie specifically requested this one way in advance, and as always she did a bang-up job with her photos. Check ‘em out after the jump.

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Here’s a quote from a recent Noisecreep piece on Biohazard’s Evan Seinfeld. I’ve added my own emphasis in bold:

“We are in the studio, finishing our 10th studio album, and we’re working Toby Wright, who has worked with Metallica, Slayer, Deftones, Godsmack, Korn,” Seinfeld told Noisecreep. “The music is the best we’ve ever written. I’m nervous, because it’s almost too good.”

Okay, so one question: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!?!

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That’s not a hypothetical question: this show is actually fucking happening!. Biohazard, Life of Agony, and the recently reunited Vision of Disorder, three of the finest heavy acts to come out of New York in the 1990s, have just announced a hometown show on December 16 at the Best Buy Theater in Times Square. Tickets go on sale next Friday (October 22), and I wont be surprised if this sells-the-fuck-out shortly thereafter.

A few months back, I Scream Records dropped a solid CD/DVD set of Life Of Agony performing the classic River Runs Red album live in its entirety. No word yet on whether or not the December gig will feature a similar River Runs Red performance, but it’s pretty safe to say that the record will at least feature heavily. Peep the trailer above and get psyched for the gig!

-GS

A few hours ago authorities evacuated Times Square for the second time in a week after someone found a “suspicious cooler” on the street. Of course, everyone was just being overly cautious, but as long as it doesn’t infringe on my civil rights, there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that. I think Vince was in Michigan when 9/11 went down, but I was here, and if I never see another tank rolling down my street again or run all over the city because there’s no cell service and I need to make sure that all of my friends and family are still alive, well, I’ll be good.

While I nurse my PTSD, here are some happier, metalier things that happened this week:

• We’re streaming Keep of Kalessin’s new album, Reptilian. We also debuted new music by Lamb of God and The Funeral Pyre.
• We also also also debuted new videos by Soulfly and Cancer Bats.
• We also also also also debuted our new cooking show, Cooking Contaminated.
• Cynic’s Paul Masvidal discussed the shape of silence, Periphery’s Bulb taught you how to get that “big” studio tone, As I Lay Dying’s Nick Hipa had some questions about L O S T, Matt from Rumpelstiltskin Grinder fondly recalled Maryland Deathfest, and Batillus bassist Willi Stabenau gave us a studio update.
• We talked to Darkest Hour’s Mike Schleibaum, Reign Supreme’s Jay Pepito,  Jackyl’s Jesse James Dupree, and unveiled part one of our massive two-part interview with Buzz Osborne.
• We checked out the latest release by The Howling Wind.
• Does the fact that Mike Portnoy is touring with Avenged Sevenfold make you wanna see ‘em?
• We don’t want Joey Belladonna to return to Anthrax. Seriously.
• Sergeant D. wants to know if u mosh 4 Christ???
• Damnocracy’s Evan Seinfeld and his porno Howdy Doody also do bar mitzvahs.
• We wish there was really such a thing as a Slayer burrito.

Next week brings even more betterer br00tal goodness – interviews, debuts, guest blogs, all that shit. It’s gonna get real up in this bitch. See ya then.

-AR

Evan Seinfeld and Tera Patrick split up less than a year ago, but the cause of the split was Seinfeld’s refusal to quit porn, so he handled the pain of the divorce like a real mensch and just started banging some other porn star immediately. Her name is Lupe Fuentes and she’s allegedly 23 years old, but she looks at least ten years younger than that and her videos have names like Little Lupe the Innocent: Dont Be Fooled By Her Baby Face, so it’s not as though everyone involved in the Lupe Fuentes business isn’t aware that the pedophile crowd is her bread n’ butter.

So some American rocket scientist named Carlos Simon-Timmerman bought a copy of that very movie in Venezuela and tried to take it with him to Puerto Rico – which implies he was on vacation and really needed to jack-off, which is fair enough, but who the fuck buys porn on a vacation? Just use your imagination, idiot. You probably passed a hundred hot Venezuelan chicks just on your way to the porno shop… you mean to tell me you didn’t store any of them in your spank bank?

ANYWAY, Puerto Rican customs officials thought the video was kiddie porn and were gonna lock Simon-Timmerman in jail and toss away the key, but luckily Fuentes and Seinfeld – who is also her manager – showed up with proof of her age and saved Simon-Timmerman.

Seinfeld and Fuentes were on television recently to discuss the incident, and the first thing I noticed – besides the fact that his little girl has the most irritating voice in the history of irritating voices – is that she’s sitting on Seinfeld’s lap the whole time, and that up until the 4:07 mark, when one is speaking, the other is silent. So for roughly the first four minutes of this interview, I was 99.9% sure that Fuentes was actually a puppet that Seinfeld was operating. And I’m still only half-convinced that she’s not.

Watch the interview after the jump.

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So apparently the source of the split between Evan Seinfeld (Biohazard/Damnocracy) and Tera Patrick (porn) was Patrick’s request that Seinfeld leave the adult film business. Says an evil tabloid owned by Rupert Murdoch:

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It’s hard to believe that Dime has been gone for five years, but December 8 will be the anniversary of one of metal’s bleakest moments. To cash-in on commemorate the event, Metal Hammer have enlisted a bunch of well-known acts to record Pantera covers (but not Damageplan covers, because, y’know, let’s get real here) for a CD that will come with the magazine. Metal Hammer has done this a few times in the past – I remember they had they entire Master of Puppets album re-recorded by various bands, including Mastodon, Machine Head, Chimaira and Trivium when that album reached its twentieth anniversary, and some of it was pretty good.

Get the complete track list for Metal Hammer’s Dime tribute disc after the jump, along with my thoughts in bold.

Click to read more…

Evan Seinfeld and Tera Patrick have split up. Apparently it’s amicable. This means Tera will now be free to make porn with other dudes, like she did in her pre-Seinfeld days, while Evan will be free to make porn with other chicks, or medicore music with whatever band he’s doing these days. (Until I get that Biohazard/Onyx tour I’ve been begging for since ’93, I don’t give a shit.)

It’s hard to believe that this relationship didn’t last. If a metal thug and a porn star who make a great deal of money filming themselves fucking can’t be happy together these days, then what hope is there for the rest of us?

Go here to watch Evan and Tera in happier times, sharing their love. Or, at least, Evan sharing his love all over Tera’s face. Needless to say, it’s NSFW.

-AR

The intrepid Sergeant D. of Metal Inquisition has published an in-depth look at Biohazard, a brand new band out of Brooklyn that the MetalSucks Mansion inhabitants all agree you should check out. Says Mr. D.:

They seem like cool guys who like to have fun, but I feel like they’re trying a little hard to do the whole Municipal Waste/Toxic Holocaust thing. I mean they’re definitely good at it, but the thing is that they take it a little too far. In order for it to be funny, it has to be a little bit believable, you know? We talked about this in my “Entertainment Business” class the other day: If all you do is combine every ridiculous cliche from crossover fashion into your characters, it’s too much. You have to use some restraint or you just end up looking like a cartoon. Overkill, Toxik, and Xentrix are much better at doing the retro-thrash thing without going over the top.

True words. Check out the entire post at Metal Inquisition.

-VN

Yeah yeah yeah, Evan Seinfeld has done lots of “legitimate” acting since Biohazard fell apart, like an appearance on Oz and voice work for the upcoming Grand Theft Auto IV video game, but let’s be real: all his post-metal fame stems from the fact that he’s married to, and is the on-screen partner for, porn star Tera Patrick. That’s right: the man now blows his load all over his wife’s face for a living. Somebody had to say it.

I guess Evan must be running dry, though, because they’ve announced that Biohazard, the Noo Yawk band that may have inadvertently paved the way for Limp Bizkit, is jumping on the Summer 2008 reunion bandwagon, where they’ll be featured alongside the already-announced kiss n’ make-up concerts by Carcass and At the Gates. Who will care about Biohazard more than Carcass or At the Gates is beyond me, but I imagine they’ll all end up on the same European summer festival circuit soon.

-AR