As we mentioned last week, Guitar World recently roasted Zakk Wylde, and managed to snag a cavalcade of stars to help ‘em out, including Rob Halford, Duff McKagan, Corey Taylor, Scott Ian, and comedians Brian Posehn and Jim Florentine. One dude who did not make an appearance at the event, however, was Jim Breuer, a comedian who, like Posehn and Florentine, has earned a reputation for being metal friendly over the years.

So why didn’t Breuer show up to join in on the fun? According to a recent appearance on The Opie & Anthony Show, it’s because he finds Wylde deplorable. It seems that a few years back, Wylde attempted to recruit Breuer to help him out with an idea for a television show which would have somehow combined rock and sketch comedy — and Breuer’s experience with the guitarist was exactly F WNDBWA. Some of the more charming behavior in which Wylde indulged while working with Breuer includes:

• Screaming about “chinks” in a Chinese restaurant while his wife, Barbaranne, insisted she was concerned with protecting Zakk’s “image.”
• Choking some dude with a chain.
• Pissing on the windshield of his own truck.
• Claiming to be sober when he is clearly anything but.

You can listen to Breuer’s entire story — which, really, if you’ve ever read anything about Zakk Wylde, is not at all surprising — in the below video, starting around the 1:47:40 mark:

In other Zakk/Roast news, our bro-bros at Metal Injection sent the always hilarious Johnny Orlando Jr. to cover the Red Carpet at the event. You can watch video of that coverage right here.

-AR

Thanks to the anonymous reader who sent this in!

So the young ‘uns might not remember this, but back in 1995, following the release of Ozzmosis, Zakk Wylde actually had to bow out of Ozzy Osbourne’s touring group. The reason? ‘Cause Mr. Wylde was busy waiting to see if he got the second guitarist spot in the then-biggest band in the world, Guns N’ Roses. GN’R's original rhythm guitarist, Izzy Stradlin, had quit in ’91, and his replacement, Gilby Clarke, was fired in ’94; the band was having a hard time filling the slot (an issue which apparently ended up being a major factor in Slash’s eventual decision to leave the group), and Axl Rose got it into his head that having a second lead guitarist would be a great idea, and would “push” the two axe slingers to challenge themselves in new and interesting ways (a theory Rose continues to test in his current version of Guns). In hindsight, this was probably a terrible idea, but at the time, when word got out that Wylde was jamming with GN’R, everyone was all excited by the possibility.

I’m not quite sure why it didn’t work out between Wylde and GN’R (Rose says that Slash refused to share the spotlight with a second lead guitarist, Slash says that Wylde was too impatient to wait for Rose to get his shit together), but last week fans got a kinda-sorta glimpse of a what a Wylde GN’R might have sounded like when the guitarist, whose Black Label Society was opening for Rose and company, hopped up on stage with the band to perform a cover of AC/DC’s “Whole Lotta Rosie.” Metal Insider has found multiple fan-filmed videos of the event, one of which I’ve re-posted below; it’s actually pretty amazing, ’cause Wylde doesn’t use a single guitar squeal the entire time. I wonder if that was one of Rose’s conditions when allowing him to perform with GN’R?

And since we’re on the topic of Zakk Wylde almost joining Guns N’ Roses in the mid-90s, here’s a video of Wylde and Slash jamming on Jimi Hendrix’s “Voodoo Child” from roughly that same time period. Hearing the way these two trade licks and interact with one another might actually give you a better sense of how GN’R could have sounded had Wylde actually ended up in the band. Enjoy:

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I have finally reached the point where I can’t even muster outrage or disappointment over Zakk Wylde’s career choices. Twenty years ago, I probably would have lept from an airplane without a ‘chute if the dude had asked me to. Ten years ago, if he had announced that he was doing a guest spot on, say, a new Dope record, I would have wept hot, burning tears of anger and betrayal. Now, it’s been announced that he’ll contribute a solo to the new EP by Black Veil Brides — a band whose music ranks somewhere in-between anal warts and sensitivity training with Phil Labonte on the list of “Things I Hope to Avoid” — and I can’t even muster a shrug. Like, I tried to shrug, and my shoulder muscles were all, “Dude, don’t even waste the energy.” And so here I sit, shrugless.

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After years of waiting, Dark New Day fans finally got to hear the band’s second record, Hail Mary, this past August, along with an equally impressive B-sides collection. For those of us that had waited patiently the release of these two albums was heartily welcomed, but it also raised a number of questions: why’d it take so long, and why now? what went south with the record label? why do all of these songs sound so different?

There hasn’t been any press whatsoever surrounding Hail Mary‘s release — the band put it out quietly and independently through digital retailers (they’re on Amazon) — but bassist Corey Lowery, whose past bands also include Stuck Mojo and Stereomud, agreed to chat with me last week about all things Dark New Day. We also got to talking about Corey’s new band Eye Empire, an incredibly talented group who I cannot recommend enough to fans of Dark New Day and Sevendust.

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William Shatner’s cover of “Iron Man” is the worst thing ever despite — or maybe, in part, because of — guitars by Zakk Wylde. So Metal Insider‘s assertion that the below video of Shatner recording vocals for that cover is better than the actual cover itself is dead on. Remember when we saw The Shat giving Zakk Wylde all these kinds of ridiculous, pretentious directions that couldn’t possibly be applied to the performance in any kind of tangible way? Well, his own approach to the vocals is only slightly less silly. In fact, I’m starting to think (hope?) that maybe the joke is on all of us — maybe Shatner KNOWS he’s being funny.

Or maybe I’m giving him too much credit.

Watch below and make up your own mind.

-AR

To help promote their upcoming tour, on October 11 Judas Priest will release The Chosen Few, their umpteenth career retrospective, and one which does not feature any new material. The Chosen Few does have a hook, though — I mean, beyond the fact that the band members appear on the cover only as silhouettes, I assume at least in part to downplay the fact that a certain key member is no longer in the group.

No, the hook  (and this is actually a neat idea) is that the band has let a lot of other celebrity musicians — including Ozzy, Lemmy, James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich, Kerry King, Slash, and Vinnie Paul  – choose which songs would appear on the collection. And, yeah, it’s interesting to know that Zakk Wylde is way into “Grinder,” and and that Randy Blythe and David Coverdale might actually have something to talk about at a cocktail party, and that Joe Satriani likes his Priest heavier than I might have suspected.

But like I said, there’s no new material here, so I can’t quite imagine why anyone would want this album anyway. The coolest thing about The Chosen Few is seeing which dude chose which song, and you can do that after the jump. So, look, we just saved you ten bucks.

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Last week the once-mighty, now-getting-to-be-pretty-sad Mike Portnoy announced the formation of a new band, Adrenaline Mob, with Symphony X singer Russell Allen, Stuck Mojo guitarist (and first ever MetalSucks interview subject) Rich Ward, and some dudes I’ve never heard of before. Our own Anso DF called the project “iffy,” cringing at Allen’s description of the band as “almost like Rob Zombie meets Black Label Society meets Disturbed, with Dio singing.” And Anso so eloquently put it, “When old guys aim for ‘edgy’ and ‘modern,’ it sets off alarm bells, right?”

Well, as it turns out, Anso had good reason to be concerned. The band released some samples of the music they’re working on, and, yeah, I officially don’t care, and eagerly await Vince returning so I never have to pretend to care about this group again.

I also think someone should sit down and play some Rob Zombie, Black Label Society, and Disturbed for Russell Allen. Not because those artists are great or anything, but because he has to running around and telling people that that’s what Adrenaline Mob sounds like. It’s basically the equivalent of me luring in potential readers by telling them that MetalSucks is a folk music blog. It just has no basis in reality whatsoever.

Here are the samples, so you can make up your mind:

P.S. That play on The Godfather logo was silly back when Lacuna Coil did it, but at least they’re Italian, so it kinda made sense. It seems like it’s just being used here because the band has the word “mob” in their moniker.

-AR

When I heard about the Dream Theater-shaped hole in the life of drummer Mike Portnoy back in September, I wanted to pitch him on my long-gestating idea to form a killer Jellyfish cover band. I bet he’d be into it cuz of his Jellyfish super-fandom (he has cited 1993′s Spilt Milk as a top ten favorite album); and he’s a pro at pulling together all-star jams, like his awesomely fun tributes to The Who, The Beatles, and Led Zeppelin with guys like Paul Gilbert, Jason McMaster, and Dave LaRue; and lastly, The Ghosts At Number One (that’s my vote for our band name) could serve as a totally non-cynical tribute to another hardcore Jellyfish fan, the late Dimebag Darrell Abbott. And what better way to hip headbangers to irresistible non-metal jams? How could Mike say no to that? Can I call him Mike?

But, shit, while I was dicking around, gobbling drugs, and failing to corner, pressure, and/or threaten Portnoy about the Jellyfish idea, he teamed with qualified musicians he knows who actually, like, realize their ideas. Even if those ideas aren’t so great. Symphony X singer Russell Allen talks about Adrenaline Mob, one of Portnoy’s new bands:

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Butt rock reigns yet again, with Seether nabbing the top spot for the second week in a row. Boris and Cave In cracked the Top Hard Music charts with their new albums (hooray!), while Hollywood Undead and Asking Alexandria actually experienced sales gains for the first time since their new records debuted a few weeks back (boo!). Click on through to see what else charted and how much it all sold.

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Judas Priest are probably one of the best metal bands in the history of the genre, and certainly one of the most important. And, sure, their post-reunion-with-Halford studio albums haven’t been so great, but they haven’t been unbearably terrible, either, and the band still puts on a really, really fun show live.

So why am I feeling so over it with them? Well, let’s begin by going over all the drama that has surrounded the group just in the past seven months.

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Seether are still around? Apparently they are, and apparently they still sell buttloads of records. While Seether nabbed the top spot on the Top Hard Music chart, Scar Symmetry also had a good debut, as did, um, Vampires Everywhere. Foo Fighters, Hollywood Undead, Black Label Society and others are still selling lots of records too. Numbers after the jump.

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I recently had the opportunity to chat with vocalist Neil Fallon of the legendary Clutch. Fresh off some oddly-matched but nevertheless successful tours, first with Children of Bodom and Black Label Society then with Motorhead, Clutch were gearing up for a U.S. headlining run and the re-release of their classic album Blast Tyrant. We talked touring, said reissue, and the band’s success with and thoughts on running their own record label, Weathermaker Music. Our chat, across Beale Street.

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Uhh…

Uhh…

Uhh…

Huh?

-AR

Jamey Jasta’s Jasta is out Jastaly 26 via eJasta Jastas.

Foo Fighters fans fretting that Wasting Light would relinquish its hold on the meaningless Soundscan charts after dropping to #2 last week after three debut weeks at #1… fret not, as Dave Grohl and co. are back up top! This week’s #2 comes in the form of a big surprise, as Zack Wylde’s Black Label Society sold a ton of copies of the acoustic equivalent of a remixes album.

Lots of interesting action elsewhere, too, with new records by Anvil and Hate Eternal making the charts, and a bunch of other strong sellers. Also: a case study in Sixx A.M. / Motley Crue chart history, another one on the myriad Aerosmith greatest hits collections selling gangbusters, and on Metallica’s Master of Puppets‘ chart legacy finally coming to an end.

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American Idol week 13

Wed The final eight perform famous movie songs. Gosh thrilling concept, guys.

Thur Live results + lots of fast-forwarding

Misery Index Shut up shut up shut up all of you!

Tyler-o-meter “I am fucked up right now!”

Hey friends! This week, let’s check out the Idol Remains mailbag! The first comment comes from the nice person who does my boss:

Hi Anso, It’s me Metalgf. I am Vince [Neilstein]’s girlfriend and a fan of Idol. I also saw Idol taped live earlier this year, as you may recall. I am just a mess over the results. Pia [the pageant singer] was so much better than so many other Losers on this show. I HATE James Durbin and Paul [McDonald] is fine but not Idol material, Laura [the winner] is a snooze factory and Haley [Reinhart] is nothing to write home about. Stefano [Dimples] is just a pretty face. Pia and Jacob [Down With Jesus] and maybe Casey Beardo have real talent. But MOSTLY PIA. She was the best. I think I will stop watching the show now. I am just so disappointed and it’s just ridiculous. I obviously, as usual, do not agree with America at large. Our tastes differ more than I ever imagined.

Hi Metalgf, it’s me Anso. I am Vince’s um “silent admirer” and not a fan of Idol. You’re so right that it seems like Pia and Jacob are talented. But do you agree that it’s natural for many viewers to decline any further full-tilt caterwauling from these two? I mean, taken as a whole, the performances of each resemble that movie Titanic if it consisted only of the big finale on a loop until the viewer must stop watching. And now, people are starting to stand up and file out on Pia and, god willing, pitch-weak Jacob too. I guess it’s not about who’s best. That’s why Steve Vai isn’t the world’s most popular guitarist. Superhugz! Thanks for reading!

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I don’t know what to say about this tour that you wouldn’t be able to guess I’d say if you read this site on a regular basis. Black Label Society are boring and all their songs sound the same and Zakk Wylde seems to be going out of his way to prove my thirteen year-old self wrong and demonstrate that, yes, there is such a thing as too many guitar squeals. And Phil LaBonte can’t sing, and that’s a problem when half your songs require you to do just that. So, uh, yeah.

What I can tell you that I’ve never told you before is that Hail the Villain, the world’s 72-millionth Verb the Noun band, are pretty bad, too. Take, for example, their song “Runaway.” Now, this would be a fairly generic radio-friendly alt-metal song one way or the other, but it happens to be doubly offensive because it proves that Hail the Villain (who will hitherto be known as “H the V” for the sake of my developing CTS) do not know how to spell good. The spelling of the song’s title would suggest that the band is concerned about the fate of someone who has fled his or her home, but the words to the chorus are, “When I say ‘Go’/ run away, run away” — “run away,” in this instance, being two words, because you don’t “runaway” from someone, you “run away” from them.

Also, I dunno if they’re all wearing contacts in the video for the song, or if whatever is going on with their eyes was done after the fact in post-production, but either way, it’s dumb.

In any case, if you recently pledged a frat and would like to attend one of the stops on this tour, dates are after the jump, courtesy of Metal Injection. It looks like Rev Theory are playing some of these shows, too, just to make them extra-not-worthwhile.

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As promised, last night’s Super Bowl saw the debut of a Best Buy commercial starring Justin Bieber and our favorite sexagenarian celebrity slut, Ozzy Osbourne (whose last product endorsement commercial was released less than a month ago). And the commercial actually turned out to be kinda funny. Not because of the lame jokes about how Ozzy doesn’t understand technology or how Bieber looks like a girl (although I appreciate the acknowledgement that Ozzy has no idea who Bieber is), but, rather, because of the simple but true implication that the Biebers of the world will soon usurp the Ozzys of the world as Lords of Whoring.

“Ozzy’s in the background!” a crew member complains from off-camera, making explicit that which we were all already thinking anyway; even though he’s a sad, dithering old man, the Ozz Man refuses to leave the set, not because he actually has anything to contribute, but because, goddamnit, he’s got crap to hock!

But Bieber nails it on the first take. He’s the guy who’s gonna be trying to sell you shit for the next however many years, until he’s finally out of touch himself, or the sun dies, whichever comes first. Someone thought to toss in the “Bieber looks like a girl” gag to make sure that the Zakk Wylde chapter of Mensa doesn’t get too offended — “Huh huh, yeah, Bieber’s a fag, huh huh!” — but the subtext of the ad isn’t even subtle.

-AR

The once-great Zakk Wylde and has recorded a new version of “Iron Man” with William Shatner, the Canadian sex symbol and star of National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1. Wylde had nothing to do with the creation of the original “Iron Man,” of course, but he does know Ozzy Osbourne, so it’s appropriate. It’s a real thing.

ANYWAY, in-the-studio footage of this blessed event has now surfaced (above). You get to hear Wylde do lots of guitar squeals, but that’s about as uncommon as taking a breath, so it’s not really the good part of this video. No no no no no no no. The good part of this video comes around the :58 second mark, when Shatner tries to direct Wylde’s performance thusly:

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The once-great Zakk Wylde and has recorded a new version of “Iron Man” with William Shatner, the Canadian sex symbol and star of National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1. Wylde had nothing to do with the creation of the original “Iron Man,” of course, but he does know Ozzy Osbourne, so it’s appropriate. It’s a real thing.

ANYWAY, in-the-studio footage of this blessed event has now surfaced (above). You get to hear Wylde do lots of guitar squeals, but that’s about as uncommon as taking a breath, so it’s not really the good part of this video. No no no no no no no. The good part of this video comes around the :58 second mark, when Shatner tries to direct Wylde’s performance thusly:

Click to read more…

Well here’s a pair of tweets from William Shatner — yes, that William Shatner — which will most certainly catch you off-guard:

I don’t even know what to say about this. I’m not offended because at this point I really don’t care what Zakk Wylde does, but I am kinda worried about the guy. I don’t know if he’s really hard up for money or is a just a huge fan of the Esperanto classic Incubus or what, but… I know that this is no less ridiculous than something Ozzy would do, but I think that Ozzy was about ten years older than Zakk when he started embarrassing himself this badly. So I guess I’m just saying that Zakk should slow his roll, y’know? He’s got years and years left yet to convince us that No More Tears was a fluke.

-AR

[via Metal Underground]