I could not care less whether Bill Ward is in this year’s Black Sabbath reunion. On a personal level I hope things work out for Bill — it definitely seems like he’s the party being “wronged” here — but the truth is that I give absolutely no fucks about this Black Sabbath reunion to begin with. None. I said as much back in October when rumors first started heating up, but I’ll say it again:

1. Ozzy’s body is so torn up from years of drug and alcohol abuse that he can barely move, and his voice is in the shitter. The rest of the guys ain’t exactly spring chickens either. Even back in 2005, Black Sabbath were boring as all fuck to watch live. Not worth the $100+ it’ll cost to see them play.
2. Any new Black Sabbath album will not be that good. I’m sorry, it just won’t. Adequate/stock Black Sabbath at best, completely irrelevant at worst. Absolutely not better than the Heaven and Hell album they released with Dio in ’08, which was decent.

Nevertheless, you people all seem to be whipped into a tizzy by this whole Bill Ward drama, so we’re going to keep reporting on it ’cause all we care about is getting LOTS OF HITS and generating mad cash to buy the finest bananas we can possibly find for the MetalSucks Mansion Monkeys. And so:

After yesterday’s ridiculous rumor that Sharon Osbourne “fired” Bill Ward, Sharon Osbourne responded last night via Twitter:

Click to read more…

Before reading any further, please note well: the following is a rumor only, and MetalSucks has not been able to substantiate it.

A site called MetalTalk.net is saying that they “have just been informed by a reliable source that Sharon Osbourne has fired Bill Ward.” They’re also claiming that this same source informs them that Tommy Clufetos from Ozzy’s solo band will be Ward’s replacement on Black Sabbath’s forthcoming summer shows.

Click to read more…

via The Chive, in case the logo didn’t make that clear

Can someone please try the above but with metal? I don’t really care if it’s death metal or power metal or whatever, just make sure you film it and send it to me. Also, don’t get arrested. Thanks.

ANYWAY, here’s some shit we did this week:

• We debuted new music by Scale the Summit and Junior Bruce.
• We learned about the NBA from God Forbid’s Doc Coyle.
• We spoke to Alex Webster from Cannibal Corpse and Kris Norris from A Cancerous Affair.
• We checked out the latest album from Goatwhore, hardcore 7″s from Losin’ It, Appalachian Terror Unit, and Overlooked, and free releases from Autolatry, Yellow Eyes, Agartha, and Uvikra.
• We were surprised to learn that bands like this still exist.
• We were reminded that Juggalos are hilarious.
• We learned that Greg Puciato is dating the porn star Jenna Haze.
• We also learned that Bill Ward isn’t participating in the Black Sabbath reunion.

Okay, five o’clock! Time to punch out! Who’s got a joint?

-AR

Just yesterday, Bill Ward released a statement in which he threatened to bow out of the recently announced new Black Sabbath album and world tour unless he was given “a ‘signable’ contract.” Now Black Sabbath have announced via their Facebook page that they are, indeed, proceeding without their now-once-again-former drummer:

We were saddened to hear yesterday via Facebook that Bill declined publicly to participate in our current Black Sabbath plans…we have no choice but to continue recording without him although our door is always open… We are still in the UK with Tony. Writing and recording the new album and on a roll… See you at Download!!!

- Tony, Ozzy and Geezer

Click to read more…

UPDATE, 2:06 pm: Reader Joe Siegler tells me that Ward didn’t “hold out” in ’97 — he was never asked to re-join the band. I apologize for my lapse in knowledge of Sabbath reunion lore. If he really wasn’t asked in 1997, that makes this whole thing all the more dramatic and dispiriting. Original story follows below…

Hope you weren’t too excited about Bill Ward participating in the upcoming Black Sabbath reunion.

Ward has always been the hold-out with these reunions. He didn’t participate when the band got back together for Ozzfest in ’97 (although by 1998, he had indeed rejoing the band), and he wasn’t a part of Heaven & Hell, the Dio-era Sabbath reunion, either. Now, according to a statement on his website, he may not be part of the Sabbath’s recently announced new album and tour, either:

Click to read more…

Yo! Have you guys signed up for our new e-mail list yet? If not, you can, and should, do so above. You’ll get occasional updates from the MS Mansion with breaking stories, special features, exclusive premieres, etc., delivered right to your inbox. Don’t worry, we won’t spam you — expect a newsletter-type of situation with updates once a week at most. And don’t forget to friend us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter to stay up-to-the-minute on all the latest suckage.

With that shameless plug out of the way, let’s look at some of the things we did this week, shall we?

• Maybe we should rename the site “Sports Suck?” God Forbid’s Doc Coyle taught us about the NBA and Lazarus A.D.’s Jeff Paulick taught us about the NFL.
• We spoke to Matt Halpern from Periphery and Bandhappy and Nick Cohon from Cormorant.
• We were saddened to report that legendary Black Sabbath guitarist has been diagnosed with lymphoma.
• Jason Richardson was saddened to learn that he has been fired from Born of Osiris.
• We considered ten possible candidates to replace Howard Jones in Killswitch Engage.
• We wagered that the new Metallica album is not going to sound like The Black Album despite what the band says.
• We passed judgement on the new Van Halen single and video.
• We got excited that Refused and At the Drive In are reuniting.
• We learned that Virgin Steele are from Long Island.
• We started to look at some Albums That Will Fuck Your Face Off in 2012: new releases from Adimiron, Hypno5e, Ides of Gemini, Pallbearer, Sai Nam, and Samothrace.

Next week we’ll have even more Albums That Will Fuck Your Face Off, interviews, premieres, and, of course, plenty of snark. ‘Til then, brothers and sisters…

-AR

Earlier this week, we were saddened to report that legendary Black Sabbath guitarist has been diagnosed with lymphoma. Now Iommi has released a statement on the matter via his Facebook page:

“My fans, friends & colleagues -

“I just want to say how overwhelmed I am with all your messages of support, thank you so much.

“Well it’s not what I wanted for Christmas, that’s for sure, but now I can’t wait for the test results to come in and get going with the treatment.

“It’s really good that the guys are coming over so that we can continue working on the album as things are going great in the studio.

“Well, not much else to say at this time, so thanks again.

“Bless you all,

“Tony”

Well, it sounds like Iommi is taking the news far better than I would. People say that a positive outlook can really make a difference when dealing with horrible circumstances such as this one… hopefully Iommi’s ongoing joie de vivre bodes well for his future.

-AR

Holy shit it is time to get super-pumped for new Van Halen music. That is for sure, fun lovers! Of course, it has been like thirteen years since their most recent album, so the music-makers of VH had some dust to shake off. No biggie. The more daunting task before Team Van Halen now is succeeding at their first album campaign since the upheaval of the record sales and of marketing practices.

Again, music is not the question, but rather how will these recording artists — once kings of presentation, promotions, and imagery during pop music’s last big shake-up, the MTV revolution — fare in the age of non-sales, lightning-fast rumors, and insidious internet marketing, and with the thud of Chinese Democracy still echoing and Aerosmith’s next winner looming ahead?

So far, the pre-natal life of A Different Kind Of Truth (out February 7 oh baby!!) is kinda wonky and marked by weird decisions and missed opportunities for coolness. Let’s take a friendly look: Click to read more…

Well, here’s some incredibly shitty news to start your week. From Black Sabbath’s official Facebook page:

“With the news that Black Sabbath’s Tony Iommi has been diagnosed with the early stages of lymphoma, his bandmates would like everyone to send positive vibes to the guitarist at this time. Iommi is currently working with his doctors to establish the best treatment plan–the “IRON MAN” of Rock & Roll remains upbeat and determined to make a full and successful recovery.

Click to read more…

It’s 2012 at last!  Remember that press conference back in November where Ozzy, Tony, Geezer and Bill Ward (yes, that’s what makes it Sabbath finally – the insertion of one BILL WARD!) sat down at the Whiskey A Go Go and announced to the world that they were finally making a new album with Rick Rubin? Don’t call it a comeback. Call it a reclamation.

There’s something very intriguing about watching a band make a colossal misstep and then recover. There have certainly been a good share of them — most recently and horrifically that towering monolith of  “what the fuck was that?” known as Lulu — albeit, no one has redeemed themselves from that one quite yet. And with the exception of one great Maiden track, “The Klansman,” (which Bruce has to explain before every time they play it live), there were those Blaze Bailey Maiden albums.

In the wake of all the hoopla of their classic line-up reformation I give you Black Sabbath’s self admitted career low-point: Forbidden. First off, let’s make this clear: I do consider the Tony “The Cat” Martin era of the band to be a legit part of the Sabbath legacy, just not Forbidden. In fact, The Headless Cross is on my  top 5 list of  Sabbath albums. Truthfully, the Tony Martin era of the band doesn’t get enough credit; The Eternal Idol and Tyr are solid records as well. Maybe they’re not proper Sabbath records, but good ones.  Incidentally, Tony Martin should also be credited with one of metal’s most spectacular mullets.

Click to read more…

I love fun so I read Sergeant D.’s site Stuff You Will Hate and his MetalSucks column Green Eggs And Slam for the laughs (ask my 310 dudes re: my overuse of D.-isms “Please… Be Safe” and “That’s it I’m coming up there”). But the bonus has been this shocking amount of killer macho veincore jamz — by bands I’d normally ignore with a vigilance but can’t resist in the funny context of SYWH/GE+S.

Let’s review a few of my favorite finds from 2011!

Click to read more…

My heavy metal DVD shelf was once pretty bare, displaying only The Decline Of Western Civilization and a load of one-view concert films. But just since 2005, it’s been sagging under the weight of classy, addictively watchable feature-length documentaries like Heavy Metal In Baghdad, Get Thrashed, Metal: A Headbanger’s Journey, Global Metal, and the Iron Maiden and Rush movies. The latter four come courtesy of industrious heavy metal anthropologists Sam Dunn and Scot McFadyen, both responsible for the launch of metal’s overdue efforts to canonize itself and shout down mainstream media’s 40-year campaign to paint metal as dumb, violent ape music. Pssht. Everybody knows it’s awesome, fun ape music.

Cough anyway Dunn and McFadyen are back with an 11-part mini-series airing Saturdays on VH1 Classic titled Metal Evolution. Think about it for a sec: That’s a total running time of about 440 minutes. If you’re not bonered about that, then … gosh, get your boner checked, okay? To date, three episodes have aired, each detailing the roots of metal in blues, jazz, and classical music; Saturday’s episode (above) traveled to England to gab with/about Deep Purple, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin (who, according to Dunn, declined to be interviewed due to an aversion to being associated with metal), and concluded with Judass Priest circa Sad Wings Of Destiny. Spoiler: Bruce Dickinson calls Eric Clapton “tame” compared to Ritchie Blackmore. SWISH! Episode schedule after the jump:

Click to read more…

We at MetalSucks have dealt with the paradoxes involved with conducting a poll to determine great guitar players (read our 25 Best Modern Metal Guitarists poll here)! So we get that in a unweighted vote, the top-ranked axemen may just represent those liked by the largest number of voters; i.e. a dude who we agree is pretty good may score higher than each of our individual favorite dudes.

So when Rolling Stone magazine enlisted a who’s-who of classic rock personalities for their 100 Greatest Guitarists Of All Time cover story, we prepared for some wacky aberrations. Let’s check out a few of the RS list’s inconsistencies:

Click to read more…

Until their new song, “Time and Time Again,” premiered online today (stream it here), I had not heard any music from Kill Devil Hill, the new band featuring Rex Brown and Vinny Appice. (I was about to type those dudes’ previous credits when I realized that if you don’t know who Brown and Appice are, I don’t especially care about you anyway.) I know there have been some live bootlegs floating around — the band has been gigging for awhile now — but I somehow managed to avoid them and wait for the real thing.

And now that I’ve heard it… it’s good. Not great. But not bad at all.

Click to read more…

After months of “speculation” (by which I mean we all knew this was happening, but no one would officially confirm it), Black Sabbath announced today at a press conference at LA’s Whiskey A-Go-Go — where they played their first American show back in 1970 – that they are, indeed, reuniting for both a world tour and a new album… which will be produced by Rick Rubin. Rubin says the band has written half the album already, and that recording will begin in early 2012.

The above video montage, also heralding the reunion, appeared on the band’s website at 11:11 am PST. The video also reveals that the band will be headlining this year’s Download Festival… so now we know who two of the headliners will be. I wonder if the only reason Metallica are playing the Black Album in its entirety is because of Black Sabbath? If so, that’s pretty silly. And it makes me wonder if AC/DC, doing all of Back in Black, will be the third headliner.

We know from Heaven and Hell that Tony Iommi still has some good riffs in him; now I guess we just have to wait and see if they can make this cool without Dio or what.

Debate in the comments section below.

-AR

Don’t fool yourselves by the constant he-said she-said back and forth between various Black Sabbath members: they will eventually get back together and tour, if not now then in the not-too-distant future. The latest fire-stoker involves Tony Iommi saying the band got together to rehearse… to which I say, big fucking deal.

I do not care about the umpteenth Black Sabbath reunion. They were extremely tired and old when I last saw them on Ozzfest ’05, meaning they’ll just be 7 years tireder and 7 years olderer if I choose to see them during their pending 2012 tour. No disrespect to their legacy; much, MUCH respect to this band’s profound influence upon all of metal. It’s just that enough is enough already. Stop beating the dead horse. I can think of a million ways I’d rather spend $80 (or more) + service fees than watching Ozzy hop around like a frog whilst spraying the audience with a water hose because it’s a gimmick that requires little to no movement.

Feel free to tell me why I’m wrong in the comments below.

-VN

For a while I’ve been trying to pitch an interview to former Ozzy guitarist Jake E. Lee. Of course, I want to ask him about replacing Randy Rhoads for Bark At The Moon (yay!) and The Ultimate Sin (okay!) albums. And I’ve heard that he’s assembling a new band, so we’d discuss that, too. But mostly, I plan to break my wrist from petting Lee’s ballz about Badlands, his post-Ozzy heavy rock band. Well, wait, I mean, my wrist would break from petting them so thoroughly, not from using great force to pet them. I don’t want Jake to fear for his ballz here.

Ahem But it’s not just that Badlands was awesome, but interesting too. Their debut album, which I’ve privately retitled Bonerlands, convenes a creative team of super-stud Lee (fresh from parting with Ozzy), Ray Gillen (short-term singer for late Black Sabbath and early Blue Murder, total stud), drummer Eric Singer (now of Kiss, then going big like an Appice), and producer Paul O’Neill (the mind behind Trans Siberian sn’Orchestra, Savatage’s Streets: A Rock Opera). Weird team, right? It’s unclear how much Lee would ever discuss with me, cuz Badlands ended pretty acrimoniously (onstage arguments) and then sadly (Gillen’s fatal illness). But for now, let’s click play on “Devil’s Stomp” (above) and you’re jamming! Jake call me!

-ADF

I had shall we say a moment of clarity about Van Halen this week. It’s nothing bad and nobody’s fault. I love. To me, they score highest in all categories of awesomeness since The Beatles srs. And thusly, I think fans flex on lots of bullcrap. Like, no Michael Anthony? Uh okay. Your teen son in his place? If you say he’s cool, then cool. Shirtless in those white capris brah? Fuckin’ have to trust you on that, I will! And the super secret recording sessions? Fuck it! Like the song says, I’ll wait. Ditto for Aerosmith.

My, like, epiphany isn’t about something they’ve done that freaked me out. There exists no action to be undertaken by Van Halen that could disinterest me in their DLR-inclusive shit. But here I’ll reprise the headline as I explain the wake-up call I received the other day: Holy fuck Van Halen is old as all shit.

Click to read more…

William Shatner’s cover of “Iron Man” is the worst thing ever despite — or maybe, in part, because of — guitars by Zakk Wylde. So Metal Insider‘s assertion that the below video of Shatner recording vocals for that cover is better than the actual cover itself is dead on. Remember when we saw The Shat giving Zakk Wylde all these kinds of ridiculous, pretentious directions that couldn’t possibly be applied to the performance in any kind of tangible way? Well, his own approach to the vocals is only slightly less silly. In fact, I’m starting to think (hope?) that maybe the joke is on all of us — maybe Shatner KNOWS he’s being funny.

Or maybe I’m giving him too much credit.

Watch below and make up your own mind.

-AR

To help promote their upcoming tour, on October 11 Judas Priest will release The Chosen Few, their umpteenth career retrospective, and one which does not feature any new material. The Chosen Few does have a hook, though — I mean, beyond the fact that the band members appear on the cover only as silhouettes, I assume at least in part to downplay the fact that a certain key member is no longer in the group.

No, the hook  (and this is actually a neat idea) is that the band has let a lot of other celebrity musicians — including Ozzy, Lemmy, James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich, Kerry King, Slash, and Vinnie Paul  – choose which songs would appear on the collection. And, yeah, it’s interesting to know that Zakk Wylde is way into “Grinder,” and and that Randy Blythe and David Coverdale might actually have something to talk about at a cocktail party, and that Joe Satriani likes his Priest heavier than I might have suspected.

But like I said, there’s no new material here, so I can’t quite imagine why anyone would want this album anyway. The coolest thing about The Chosen Few is seeing which dude chose which song, and you can do that after the jump. So, look, we just saved you ten bucks.

Click to read more…