I have finally reached the point where I can’t even muster outrage or disappointment over Zakk Wylde’s career choices. Twenty years ago, I probably would have lept from an airplane without a ‘chute if the dude had asked me to. Ten years ago, if he had announced that he was doing a guest spot on, say, a new Dope record, I would have wept hot, burning tears of anger and betrayal. Now, it’s been announced that he’ll contribute a solo to the new EP by Black Veil Brides — a band whose music ranks somewhere in-between anal warts and sensitivity training with Phil Labonte on the list of “Things I Hope to Avoid” — and I can’t even muster a shrug. Like, I tried to shrug, and my shoulder muscles were all, “Dude, don’t even waste the energy.” And so here I sit, shrugless.

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Last week was a big, big sales week for new metal releases, I’d imagine one of the highest cumulative tallies of the year so far. The #1 through #6 entries on the Top Hard Music charts could all be considered smashes in today’s relative terms, with Dream Theater, Anthrax and others making big splashes. Arch/Matheos, Vader and Wolves in the Throne Room also had nice debuts. Let’s look at the numbers:

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Photo by Clay Patrick McBride

Sebastian Bach’s new record is surprising and unsurprising. That is, no one who has witnessed the former Skid Row singer’s recent playdates with members of Asking Alexandria and Black Veil Brides could be shocked by Kicking And Screaming‘s slick, modern vibe. Plus, a clue was provided by each of Bach’s personnel moves, be it a 21-year old guitar prodigy, or a producer of tight radio rockers (Shinedown, Saliva) and lovable old guys (Iommi, David Lee Roth). And duh it’s 2011: For mainstream rock, the choice is big production or small potential. And there is nothing small about Sebastian Bach.

Anyway, those were my thoughts during the opening notes of Kicking And Screaming. But the album’s surprise element mounted with each song: He pulled it off! Yes, Bach is great at bright, pop-punkish hard rock throughout the totally lovable Kicking. Eventually it dawned on me that Bach might’ve been supplementing — not discarding — his OG fans via cavorting with scenebros, dissing of today’s Skid Row, and tabloid-friendly barroom antics. Via producer, boy wonder axeman, and his own snarling edge, his aim was a collection of jamz for both sensibilities and their overlap. Via classic Bach thrust and charm, Kicking is a Skid Row fan’s newest friend.

Last week, I spoke with Baz about Kicking And Screaming‘s creative team, singing high, being high, Steven Adler, John 5, Phil Varone, and tons more in an epic MetalSucks interview that crescendos from chill (excited new album chatter) to silly (an impromptu stoner giggle party) to rampage (invective against the Skid Row he never bargained for). Read and laugh!

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You will be happy to know that Limp Bizkit did not claim the #1 spot on the Top Hard Music charts again this week. That spot belongs to… Pop Evil. Who? Not Limp Bizkit, that’s who.

Aside from Unearth, there weren’t any notable debuts to chart last week. After the jump, a look at how the latest records from Black Dahlia Murder, In Flames, and many more fared on the marketplace of over-priced pieces of plastic and soon-to-be-obsolete digital files.

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Let’s give Axl Rosenberg a hearty golf clap for capably handling Neilstein Soundscam while I was away, shall we? But the party is over, so it’s back to the grind of boring albums selling soon-to-be insignificant pieces of plastic (and soon-to-be insignificant digital files once Spotify launches).

You should all be elated to learn that Limp Bizkit claimed the #1 spot on the Hard Music charts last week (#15 overall), so let’s all take a great big sigh of relief in knowing that good music reigns supreme.

I keed. Queensryche had a solid debut, while In Flames, Symphony X and The Black Dahlia Murder had decent second weeks despite large percentage drops. Check out the numbers for those and several others after the jump.

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I’ve been to plenty of shows in my time where I was convinced that one of the band member’s on-stage antics was going to end in injury or worse; hell, I’m scared for Greg Puciato’s life pretty much every time I go see The Dillinger Escape Plan live. But somehow these dudes always manage to avoid getting hurt; it’s like there’s some special, secret rock musician training camp, where dudes go to learn to hang from things that should be able to support their weight and jump from heights that should clearly require a latter to descend.

What I’m saying is this: I’m surprised that accidents like the one in the below video, of Black Veil Brides vocalist Andy “Andy Six” Biersack missing a jump during a recent California concert and consequently shattering three ribs, don’t happen more often.

It’s no secret that we’re not fans of Black Veil Brides here at MetalSucks, but we never wish any artist we dislike physical harm. (Well, I wouldn’t be entirely opposed to seeing Ted Nugent get taken out by an angry deer, but he’d have to give the deer a fighting chance first, so that will probably never happen.) So let me say that I appreciate Biersack’s efforts to put on a good show for his audience, and even if I hate his music as much as Maria Brink hates tops that fit properly, I wish him a speedy recovery.

-AR

[via Metal Underground]

Red State Radio Rock reigned supreme once again last week on the increasingly meaningless Soundscam charts. Metal fans won’t find much to be happy about as none of the albums we highlighted last week charted, but there are some interesting stats about Ozzy Osbourne and others after the jump.

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IMO the most important part of being a true metal fan is knowing your roots. There is nothing worse than a newjack poser who doesn’t know or care about the older bands who paved the way for the generations after them. For example, IMO you can’t consider yourself a real fan of Avenged Sevenfold without also being a fan of Pantera and 18 Visions/Velvet Revolver. I mean I love A7X but obviously they are pretty much just taking what those two bands did, only doing it a lot better. On the other hand, it also sucks when someone gets older and they stop liking stuff. I mean if you like Suffocation then you should also like Devourment, right?? But contrary to what you would expect, older metal fans do nothing but hate on newer bands.

Which one is right?? The younger fans, full of energy and enthusiasm, but unaware of the shitty bands that people used to like?? Or the jaded, bitter has-beens, with seemingly endless knowledge of irrelevant, music that nobody really cares about anymore??????

In this post I will do my best to tackle this topic and answer the question of which is better, NEW MUSIC or OLD MUSIC. I know it’s hard to compare things from different eras, but I think it will help all of us grow as metal fans!!

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The Foo Fighters are #1 for the 2nd week in a row; I have yet to hear Wasting Light but everything Dave Grohl puts out is quality and the two songs I’ve heard so far are both slam dunks. Conversely, Hollywood Undead are #2 for the second week in a row; can’t win ‘em all, I guess, but at least they’re not #1.

Elsewhere Winds of Plague, Periphery and Loaded had solid debuts, while pretty much any band that was on Revolver’s Golden Gods Awards show experienced a nice little sales bump. Numbers after the fold.

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OK, I get the deal with this Black Veil Brides superfan… the whole “I listen to metal but I wear a suit and tie” thing is this guy’s shtick, and he wants to be known for it amongst the YouTube youngster masses. There’s the whole “don’t let the man bring you down” + “be who you are” attitudes he’s portraying, which I guess I can get down with in theory. I mean, every time I meet a doctor or lawyer or investment banker (or anyone whose work uniform is not the Business Hooide) and I find out they’re a closet metalhead, I’m pretty stoked. And I definitely advocate being who you are. Except that this guy’s taste in metal sucks balls.

His latest video du jour — sent in by OG MetalSucks reader and Darkest Hour guitarist Mike “Lonestar” Carrigan — features dudeman dancing around his bedroom pretending to be in the band (yeah, I totally did this to Van Halen and Ozzy… when I was 12). It starts off all normal [relatively], then around 1:45 he runs off camera to get his white button-down shirt and starts assembling his work wardrobe piece by piece. To the music of Escape the Fate. Escape the fucking Fate! Maybe this would be cool if it were Slayer or Maiden, or even something a little newer like… oh, I don’t know, Opeth or The Red Chord. But Escape the Fate and Black Veil Brides? Cry me an emo river in that cubicle. These bands are like the shitty office job version of metal… bland, derivative and boring.

Hey, at least the guy can tie a mean double-windsor.

-VN

Zuhhhh???

Has this guy never listened to the dozens of bands Black Veil Brides rip off? Never seen the hundreds from which they copped their look? Have a serious case of Peter Pan syndrome? Is he actually a 15 year old girl who looks like a 35 year old man and has swindled the powers that be into giving her/him a suit-and-tie job? Is he just mentally deficient?

The mind boggles. Absolutely boggles.

That’s all I’ve got.

-VN

Thanks: Jake Ryan

-VN

There are so many things wrong with this band that I don’t even know where to start. How about the music? We’re now approaching ridiculous levels of copy of a copy of a copy syndrome here when it comes to Swedish guitar-influenced metalcore riffing. Is there any that chance that the boys of Black Veil Brides have ever listened to At the Gates? Definitely not. In Flames and Soilwork? Possible, but highly unlikely. Shit, it’s possible these guys don’t even own any records by Killswitch Engage or Shadows Fall and that their style is based wholely upon emo-metal  bands like Underoath. So that makes this… a 5th generation rip-off? No wonder it’s so fucking terrible.

When I first saw this video I refrained from making them a “Shitstain” candidate because they’re so young and I felt bad. But fuck it.

Sleeve-tats-as-uniform on the 17 year old singer (bought with daddy’s money)… swoopy haircuts… the sunglasses on the (14 year old??) drummer… the Joker makeup… I could go on. This is like shooting fish in a barrel. Dear Black Veil Brides: when your 15 minutes are up because your 14 year old fans have matured, don’t be surprised.

-VN