MetalSucks

What the hell, dude? First Marduk front dude Mortuus hit a kid who jumped on stage to try and hug him, then The Black Dahlia Murder’s Trevor Strnad followed suit; now some guy jumped on stage during a recent Kittie performance and tried to kiss front lady Morgan Lander… and she cracks him in the balls! So for once, a fan got a beat down and he actually deserved it.

Only problem is, it’s not a fan this time – it’s Tyler Whore, bassist for Sucked by a Sucking Suck. He’s apparently friends with the band. Guess Lander didn’t recognize him? Either that, or it was, uh, a Freudian slip, I guess.

Here’s video of the incident, courtest Hardtime.ca:

Thanks to the always-helpful Saul Hudson for the tip…

-AR

While I’ve been defending Roadrunner Records against Dave Mustaine, there’s been drama brewing in the Megadeth camp.

It all started when Mustaine gave a video interview to a Norway’s Lydverket blog. The half-hour long conversation was edited down to about four and half minutes for its final presentation, and a portion of that was devoted to Mustaine talking, for the trillionth time just this year, about being fired from Metallica. (This time he blamed it on the fact that he apparently decked James Hetfield back in the day for kicking his dog, because, y’know, Hetfield is a puppy-hating asshole and Mustaine is a saint and nothing is ever his fault.) And for reasons not entirely clear to me, Mustaine was seriously offended by the final video, and threatened that “as soon as I see that interviewer again, I am going to put him in a hospital.” (The journalist in question was actually a woman, but, hey, it’s hard to remember the little details when you never think about anything but yourself.)

Well, a full, unedited version of the interview has been released now, and as it turns out… Mustaine is the one who brought up Metallica. Mr. “I Don’t Want to Talk About Metallica Anymore.” Yes, the interviewer asks him to elaborate on his point a little, but he basically just starts talking about them, and going on and on and on… and then he brings up the whole Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame thing, which he was never asked about… I mean… Kerry King was right: give this dude some rope and he will hang himself. I’d call the dude an asshole, but really, this is just sad. Because Dave Mustaine is that guy who never got over his girlfriend leaving him, even though it was a million years ago and he’s now married to someone else.

Go to roughly the fifteen minute mark to see Mustaine bring up Metallica.

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Two of metal’s most prominent young bands now have front men who need serious medical attention and, as is so often the case these days, do not have the health insurance to pay for it. Find out how you can help after the jump.

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Into Eternity’s new album, The Incurable Tragedy, just dropped last week (read David Bee Roth’s review here), and now the band is getting ready to hit the road with Iced Earth – an appropriate tour mate for IE if ever there was one. Just one little problem: guitarist, founder, and all around main man Tim Roth won’t be on the tour.

In a War & Peace-length statement, the band explains…

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Official press release:

Sucking with the balls-suck rock n’ roll suckcess made sucky by Motley Suck but possessing the sucktastic spirit of Yngwie Sucksteen, Canada’s SUCKED BY A SUCKING SUCK are ready to put the suck in suck rock on this summer’s Suck the Suck Tour with arena suck anthems so sucky and insucktious they’ll be your new sucky pleasure. The suck kicks off this week so either see below or feel free to visit www.myspace.com/SuckedbyaSuckingSuck to view their complete sucking itinerary.

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Canadian metal emo-punk-core-whatever band Blessed By a Broken Heart, which Axl summarily described as “the screamo/metalcore band Rod and Todd Flanders might’ve started,” have issued a video update from their European tour. After watching their video update in shock and awe, I re-watched to figure out what I could make fun of for this post. But then I realized, well, the whole thing is fucking ridiculous. I’m sure the legions of Hot Topic kids who love this band will defend them in earnest in our comments section and the rest of you will take care of them. This should be fun.

-VN

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Blessed by a Broken Heart’s “Move Your Body,” from their forthcoming Century debut, Pedal to the Metal, is the funniest song I’ve heard in awhile; only thing is, I can’t tell if the band is in on the joke or not. I mean, any band that looks like that, has members with names like “Shred Sean” and “The Bird,” and features lyrics such as “Move your body/Move groove your body/ School’s out and it’s time to party” has got to be fucking joking, right? Then again, Poison were (are?) serious as a heart attack, and another, vaguely heavier Atreyu rip-off on the band’s MySpace page, “Show Me What You Got” (sample lyric: “Show me what you got/ You think you’re so tough/ Take your best shot”), seems less ironic in tone, if not quality. And BBABH are Christian, so it somehow seems entirely plausible that they’re just the screamo/metalcore band Rod and Todd Flanders might’ve started.

In any case, I imagine the Taste of Chaos crowd would actually eat this stuff up*; one Revolver cover and they’d be the least favorite band of every Meshuggah and Watain fan in the known world. But when I listen to them, I can’t help but think of that scene in Boogie Nights where Marky Mark and John C. Reilly are in the recording studio making that ridiculous Journey-type song. I mean, I really hope these dudes know how ridiculous they seem, ’cause if they don’t, they’re making Evergreen Terrace look like Cannibal Corpse.

I’d tell you when Pedal to the Metal hits stores, but there’s no release date listed anywhere on the band’s MySpace page or Century Media page. I do know that it was produced by GGGarth, which is almost never a good sign.

-AR

*By the way, I don’t know who started this ugly rumor that Vince and I are going to Taste of Chaos this year, but come on, dude! I have at least as many Joni Mitchell albums as I do Avenged Sevenfold albums, but I won’t be hitting up any MenopauseManias anytime soon, neither.