So Yahoo! has Ozzy Osbourne’s personal list of the Top Ten Metal Albums of 2010, and it may or may not surprise you to learn that it’s a really, really interesting mix of terrible and brain dead. (By the way, if you don’t like MetalSucks articles where I can really, really, really angry about something of less than no importance, then you should stop reading now.)

Okay so check out his list, and then I’ll tell you my thoughts. And before we begin, I should point out that it’s theoretically possible Ozzy didn’t actually choose these release, but, rather, than one of his handlers did it for him. But since it’s being labeled as “Ozzy’s list,” I am going to treat it as though it were written by Ozzy.

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This is my hometown of Perth. On the odd chance that you’ve heard of it, it’s probably as the home of Bon Scott, Sam Worthington (actually, both went to my high school), or (eeeeeew) Pendulum. As you can see from the above diagram, it’s pretty far away from anything that isn’t the Indian Ocean. In fact, we’re a full 2,104kms (1, 307 miles) from the nearest major city, making us the second most isolated city on earth. Because we’re so far away from everything, a lot of smaller bands don’t tour out here, and guitars and drums cost a shitload extra because of the shipping costs. But we do have a lot of sand. And rocks. And coastline.

Anyway, I thought this would be a cool opportunity to share with you guys some of the better heavy bands from the rapidly-evaporating cultural oasis that I call home.

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Welcome to “Question of the Week,” a (sometimes) weekly debate amongst the MetalSucks staff regarding a recent hot button issue.

There weren’t any real hot button topics this week, so we decided to just play a fun game that used to keep Vince and Axl occupied for many a lunch period when they were kids:

The MS staff’s answers after the jump.

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The reader known only as “Derrick” sent us a link to Dying 2 Meet You, a website that offers the “cheap gag gift” of selling customers a meeting with the dead celebrity of their choice (they even only have certain celebrities, so as to better sell the illusion that these are official meetings, I guess). Of course, there’s an entire package devoted to “Metal Legends,” including Chuck Schuldiner, Cliff Burton, and, naturally, Dimebag.

I get that this is a “gag gift” so I’m not too offended by the whole stupid idea – it’s not like you’re actually getting ripped off by, say, being so dumb you think you’re having a star named after a loved one – but taking five bucks and putting it towards a “meeting” with Layne Staley or Bon Scott or Randy Rhodes or whomever strikes me as… well… a complete and utter waste of five bucks. No, it’s not really a lot of money in the scheme of things, but it is money.

So purchasing one of these “gag gifts” is literally like wiping your ass with that Abe Lincoln. Somewhere, there’s a starving homeless person who would kill for a slice of pizza or two, but, no, that money would be better spent on a fake meeting with a dead person.

Swell.

-AR

So the new AC/DC single, “Rock N’ Roll Train,” has been unleashed upon the world, and, shocking though it may be, it sounds more or less like every other song AC/DC has released since Back in Black (I tend to feel like the Bon Scott years had some more variance in them; I’m sure someone out there disagrees).

For some reason, the fact that Angus Young has been recycling his own riffs for years has never really bothered me. I very much doubt I’ll purchase or even listen to AC/DC’s new album, Black Ice – but I’ll sure as fuck go see them in concert when they come to town. I tend to think of AC/DC as what Vince has referred to as a “legacy act” – a band that basically releases new music as an excuse to tour – which may be why I’m not as invested in a discussion of whether or not the new album is any good as I am when it comes to, say, Metallica (it may also help that the AC/DC hype machine isn’t as obnoxious, in terms of trying to tell the world that it’s shit doesn’t stink, as Metallica’s). Or maybe it’s just because rehashed AC/DC is still better than most other bands’ music, period.

In any case, here’s the new song… curious to see what y’all have to say about it…

Black Ice hits Wal-Marts, and only Wal-Marts, on October 20.

-AR