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Welcome to “Question of the Week,” a (not really at all) weekly debate amongst the MetalSucks staff regarding a recent hot button issue.

Following the not-necessarily-logical-but-certainly-MetalSucksian conclusion that we need to counteract our recent Albums That Will Fuck Your Face Off in 2012 series, in which we preview some albums coming out this year about which we are totally stoked, this week we asked our writers:

WHAT ALBUM WILL HIT YOU IN THE FACE WITH A LIMP DICK IN 2012?

Which is just a silly way of asking:

WHAT IS YOUR LEAST ANTICIPATED ALBUM OF 2012?

The MS staff’s answers after the jump!

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I get kinda bummed when we hafta write about tours with no dates yet, because it seems like kind of a cocktease — what’s the point of getting excited when you don’t even know if the trek is coming to your town yet? — but these two tours both seem pretty noteworthy. And so:

• Avenged Sevenfold will headline this year’s Rockstar Energy Drink Uproar Festival. Sevendust are also on the tour. And I’m going to pretend that that’s the entire line-up. Yep, just A7X and Sevendust. Two of the best modern pop metal bands touring together, with no one else. What a great bill!
• Firewind are FINALLY gonna do a proper North American headlining tour, with Arsis, White Wizzard, and Nightrage in tow. Not only am I stoked that Firewind are actually touring, but I think it’s really cool of them to have a diverse range of acts as their support. I bet these shows will be a lotta fun.

And we’ll post dates for at least one of these tours as soon as we get ‘em.

-AR

I had a math tutor in high school who was, to put it mildly, way creepy. He spent as much time trying to get me to talk about the hot girls in my class (many of whom he was also tutoring) as he did teaching me anything, and he was always excited to attend events he was way too old for — like this one time he somehow wrangled a ticket to the MTV Video Music Awards, and it was like, “Dude, you are old, gray, and bald. You should not be at the fucking MTV Awards. I’m sixteen and I don’t wanna go to the MTV Awards.”

I mention it because the last time I saw Avenged Sevenfold, when they were touring behind their self-titled album, I felt like that dude. I freely admit to being an A7X fan, and the band put on a good show and I was happy to see them, but I looked around and Vince and I were the oldest people there by, like, a lot. It was fucking embarrassing. I could practically hear the scene kids whispering, “Hey, who invited the fucking olds?”

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I had an awesome dream last night, in which I woke up (Waking up in a dream! Trippy!!!) to find the new Pig Destroyer album in my inbox. So when I woke up for real, of course, I knew it had only been a dream, but, perhaps hopeful that I had developed psychic abilities, I ran to my computer and checked my e-mail. There was no Pig Destroyer album waiting for me, but there was a new video from Bullet for My Valentine, “Bittersweet Memories.” Which is just as good as a new Pig Destroyer album… NOT!!! (Oh yeah. I went all early-90s on your ass.)

ANYWAY, let’s actually watch this thing and see how bad it is.

[tries to watch video]

Alright. I made it about forty seconds in. Anyone make it longer? Is there any reason I need to watch the rest of this? I guess I shouldn’t be so judgmental. I mean, every generation needs their Winger, right? This Winger just wears Slayer shirts to try and pretend they’re not Winger. No biggie.

(Yes, BMFV fans. I just compared the band to Winger. That would make you the Stewart Stevenson of any given social situation amongst other metalheads. Congratulations.)

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I am going to assume that a decent portion of the followers of this site are themselves musicians with bands of their own. That is generally how it goes with metal. There are seamless lines blurred between the “fans” and the “bands” because, like myself, many metal patrons represent both categories. Without this large sector of musician fans, technically proficient bands that cater directly to this base (like Dream Theater, Meshuggah, and Necrophagiast) would be much less successful. So to those musicians, I would like to use this blog to shine a light on one of the harsh truths in all music and entertainment that many musicians choose to ignore -

Image matters a lot in this industry. In fact, it’s probably just as important as the music.
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It’s not bad enough that that Bullet For My Valentine’s “The Last Fight” is about as shitty as metal song as I’ve ever heard. Nnnnoooo. The director of the accompanying video had to interpret the song’s title as literally as possible as make the clip about fighting. More specifically, “extreme fighting,” or MMA fighting, or whatever the fuck it is that has the kids all hot n’ bothered these days.

How many fucking times am I gonna have to watch this crap in a video? It’s been done. It was done just last week, in fact, and it was already unoriginal then. Fuck, Chimaira did it three years ago!

You really can’t think of a single different idea? I have a hard time believing that. This is just lazy, cynical bullshit. Sorry. Epic fucking fail.

-AR

At first when I saw the new BMFV cover art, for their upcoming release Fever, I was like “Sweet! A naked lady! I like naked ladies.” But then I realized the chick had a claw:

Now, I love lobster and crab, but I wouldn’t wanna fuck one, y’know? I’m sure this supposed to have some symbolic meaning about women, but I can’t imagine even a thirteen year old finding it profound…

Fever comes out April 27 on Jive/Zomba.

-AR

Vince brought the shits back with him from Egypt and in the past twenty-four hours I’ve been hit with a cold so bad that I’m probably gonna go to sleep right around the time I hit “publish” for this post. So before I pass out, here’s a run-down of what we did while Vince was playing Camel jockey:

• We spoke to Mutiny Within’s AJ Jacobs and producer/mixer Kevin Antreassian.
• As I Lay Dying’s Nick Hipa discussed fate versus free will on L O S T.
• We premiered “The Last Horse” by Tiger Flowers.
• We checked out new releases by Xasthur and Borknagar and read a book by Andy McCoy, too!
• Dream Theater’s Mike Portnoy is recording with Avenged Sevenfold; black is white, up is down, cats love dogs.
• The new Bullet For My Valentine song makes a lot of people angry, either ’cause you had to tweet about it just to hear it or simply because it exists.
• One thing MS Suckalos seem to agree upon: Jake E. Lee was not Ozzy’s best guitar player.

Okay, NyQuil time. See ya Monday!!!

-AR

I got a bunch of e-mails from people yesterday who were pissed that Bullet for My Valentine were giving away their new song, “Begging for Mercy,” as a free download… but only if you tweeted about it (or something like that… I didn’t really investigate but Metal Insider has the full story). But it’s not worth getting your panties in a twist over! It’s 2010 – the second audio appears on the internet, it’s available somewhere else.

And thus longtime MS Maniac Kye sent us a link to “Begging for Mercy” on YouTube. I don’t really care because I don’t like this band, but if you’re one of the angry people who e-mailed me about this, well, enjoy, friend:

“Begging for Mercy” will be on BFMV’s new album, Fever, which will be out April 27 on Jive/Zomba.

-AR

A reader known only as “Jonas” sent us the below video of 55 Escape, a Norwegian band whose biggest influences seem to be Korn and Linkin Park, not Enslaved and Immortal.

Here’s why I find this band kind of interesting. (And moving forward, please be aware that “interesting” and “good” are not the same word.) When you think about it for a second, nu-metal seems to be a predominantly American phenomenon. Off the top of my head, I’m having a hard time even naming a nu-metal band from any part of Europe, never mind Norway. Jeff Killed John were British, but they didn’t get famous ’til they swapped the nu for core and rechristened themselves Bullet for My Valentine. Am I forgetting a really, really obvious band? Korn, Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, Disturbed, Godsmack, Evanescence, Staind, Static-X, Creed, Hed P.E., Snot, P.O.D., Puddle of Mudd, Drowning Pool, Saliva, Coal Chamber, Methods of Mayhem, 40 Below Summer, Sevendust, Ill Nino, Dope, Papa Roach, Soil, The Union Undergound… ALL AMERICAN. What the hell? No wonder the terrorists hate us.

Anyway, thanks to these sperm clots for doing their part in making America look good. Hoo-rah.

-AR

It was fun to speculate last about with whom Slayer might spend the summer touring, but now we have an official answer: as rumored, they’ll be co-headlining the Rockstar Energey Mayhem Festival with their ’07 tourmates, Marilyn Manson.

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By now a lot of you have had a chance to hear some of our new shit floating around, or you’ve had the chance to hear the whole album if you’ve been SO LUCKY… I can say that I’m very excited to have this record come out on February 24th 2009. By the way, February 24th will be a huge day for metal. Us and Lamb Of God have our records coming out the same day. The coolest thing about this is every one can see how far metal has progressed from each of our first albums to our latest. We’ve come a long way. And I think both of our bands haven’t compromised. I also think we’ve produced quality material through our respective careers. So big ups to us and them!!! Big ups to metal!!!

I keep saying big ups because this blog is going to be all about one thing: Haterade. The big ups is a precursor to the new words or phrases that come out over time. Yeah, maybe being in a metal band makes it harder to say things like true dat, big ups or haterade but I’m gonna say that shit anyway. I am in a metal band but I am also from the streets so I have carte blanche to say all that ghetto shit.

Seriously, I’m talking about haterade because I think bands that get hated on generally become more successful. Right now, I’m hoping, pleading and wishing for this album to be panned by critics, internet trolls and whoever wants to shit on it. You may ask me, “Why Dallas? Why dost thou-eth needest us to protesteth soeth mucheth?” Because we need some boiling water in our career. We need people to hate. We need people to defend. We need to fight a fucking war for this record to push us to another place. We are a successful band. I want to be more successful. I want anyone out there who hates God Forbid to say they hate us. I don’t want reasons. I don’t want debates. I want hate!!!

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We have a treat for our Boston-area readers; well, some of you will surely consider it a treat anyways… others, a death sentence. ANYWAY, we’re giving away two pairs of free tickets (that’s two sets of two tickets each, for those who aren’t hip to the meaning of the word “pair”) for this Friday’s (March 21st) Taste of Chaos show at Tsongas Arena in Boston. The tour features Avenged Sevenfold, Atreyu, Bullet for My Valentine and newcomers Idiot Pilot.

All you have to do to win is email vince [at] metalsucks.net with “TASTE OF CHAOS CONTEST” in the subject line, and tell us who your favorite band is on Taste of Chaos and why. Make your answers funny. Also do not forget to include your full name and address. Winners will be notified tomorrow morning, and will receive their tickets in the mail Thursday via FedEx.

Since most of you probably don’t know who Idiot Pilot is, here’s their video for “Planted in the Dark” to give you a taste… of chaos… ba-dum-ching! I’ll be here all day, folks.

-VN

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Thanks to MetalSucks reader John K. for sending us this link to what is perhaps the most retarded contest ever; Buzznet and Bullet For My Valentine are teaming up to award a gift certificate and signed guitar to the fan who has “the best scream.” Would-be screamers are to submit videos of themselves screaming, no more than 30 seconds in length. Here’s where it gets good — the criteria for judging the winner:

- The uniqueness of your scream
- How extreme is your scream?
- The passion you put into your scream
- The conditions and surroundings in which you are screaming in?

For the love of God… my ears are already bleeding. Do videos of me shtupping Axl’s mom last night count? Cause lord knows her scream was unique, extreme, passionate, and the conditions surrounding it were nothing short of brutal.

Maybe this guy should enter [via Metal Inquisition]:

[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/DkiiBd800GQ" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

-VN

The Soundscan charts for last week have been released, and the Super-Duper Metal Tuesday releases charted extremely well. The Mars Volta’s Bedlam in Goliath edged out Bullet For My Valentine’s Scream, Aim Fire by a mere 700 copies for the #3 spot, while MetalSucks faves Protest the Hero debuted at #95 with Fortress, a feat for a band whose music is so challenging and intricate. Australian AC/DC-revivalists Airbourne just missed the Top 100 coming in at 106. Full list of charting metal and hard rock releases, plus sales figures and our commentary, after the jump.

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The big Tuesday for politics may be next week, but today is the first important release date of the year for metal. Let’s take a look at what you can now easily pirate buy at your local record store on this fine day:

• Stonerider – Three Legs of Trouble (Trustkill) – Southern-fried rawk n’ roll, Crowes Mule & Roses, if you will.
• Bullet for My Valentine – Scream Aim Fire (Jive / SonyBMG) – One of the biggest releases so far this year, coming from Welsh second-gen metalcore quartet previously known as nu-metallers Jeff Killed John. (Read our review here.)
• The Mars Volta – The Bedlam in Goliath (Universal) – Fourth album from progiffied funk spazz freaks, ex-At the Drive In. (Read our detailed retrospective on the band.)
• Tiles – Fly Paper (InsideOut) – Progressive hard rockers from Detroit who have been round a while, and have toured with the likes of Dream Theater.
• Airbourne – Runnin’ Wild (Roadrunner) – Australian AC/DC-influenced AC/DC rock that sounds like AC/DC. Nuff said.
• Steve Stevens – Memory Crash (Magna Carta) – Solo shredfest from ex-Vince Neil and longtime Billy Idol axeslinger.
• Course of Nature – Damaged (Silent Majority) – Nickelcreedbenjaminseetherhinderback.
• Protest the Hero, Fortress (Vagrant) – Post-prog, shred-tastic, metal and hardcore-influenced amazingness. One of the most important records of 2008 so far.

Invariably in the evolution of a musical genre there falls a pattern. The first wave of bands to pioneer a sound do so by combining their influences to form something new and unique. In the wake of success that follows these pioneering bands, there is invariably a glut of bands that, themselves drawing on the first-wave bands as direct influences instead of the bands that spawned the first wave, create a watered down copy of the original. Regardless of the commercial success of these second-wave bands, there is always a boom of them two to three years after the explosion of the original, and the record labels are more than complicit in snatching them up in the hopes of cashing in on the sound. Regardless of the commercial success of said second wave bands, they never ring as true as the first wave nor does history shine as kindly upon them; there is a Bush to every Nirvana, a Poison to every Motley Crue, a Limp Bizkit to every Candiria. Unfortunately for Bullet for My Valentine, the Welsh quartet are not doing much to disprove this rule. The band members are certainly proficient musicians and able songwriters, but there’s nothing here that hasn’t already been done before and done better in the peaking sub-genre of metalcore. While the band’s debut album The Poison wasn’t earth-shattering either, it at least had instantly gratifying hooks-a-plenty that made listening rewarding and enjoyable, even if in the simplest ways (nothing wrong with a great hook!). While Scream, Aim, Fire lacks in the innovation department, for the most part it also lacks in the hook department, making it an album that should prove largely forgotten once the sun has set on the burgeoning metalcore trend.

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MetalSucks recently had the opportunity to speak with Bullet For My Valentine drummer Michael “Moose” Thomas. The band’s new album Scream, Aim, Fire comes out in North America on January 29th; meanwhile the band is readying themselves for a European headline run, followed by the Taste of Chaos tour in North America with Avenged Sevenfold and Atreyu. Moose told us all about the writing and recording of the new record, getting heckled while opening for childhood heroes Iron Maiden and Guns N’ Roses, what it’s like to read negative press about themselves, and the band’s plans for the year. Click through for the whole chat transcript. Click to read more…

Having now heard a new track from Hate Eternal’s forthcoming Fury and Flames, I’m even more excited than I already was for the latest offering from Erik Rutan – I mean, the song is just fucking BRUTAL. My newly quadrupled enthusiasm works out pretty well, since Vince and I are going to see Hate Eternal’s show with The Black Dahlia Murder and 3 Inches of Blood tonight at BB King’s in Times Square tonight (NY readers – seek us out and buy us a drink… Vince is the dude with the huge beard, I’ll be the guy in the Lamb of God shirt who looks fucking miserable and totally unapproachable)… and, if everything works out, we’ll get to interview the dude sometime in the wee hours of the morning, after the gig.*

ANYWAY, here’s a clip of Hate Eternal playing “I, Monarch” from their DVD, The Perilous Flight. They sound pretty MASSIVE, if you ask me…

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-AR

*By the way, as I type this, I think Vince is doing a phoner with one of the dudes from Bullet for My Valentine. And, yes, I am aware of the humor in the fact that we may interview Hate Eternal and BFMV in the same 24 hour period, given that those bands’ respective fan bases would probably kill one another if given half a chance.

Oh, how sweet it is. This is akin to to when Metal Sludge unearthed photos of the members of Korn in their prior bands with blown out hair and spandex. Yup, Bullet For My Valentine, the controversial metalcore outfit from South Wales, UK, used to be in a shitty nu-mteal band — and boy do we mean shitty. Matt Tuck sounds like an off-key Stephen Richards, the drummer speeds things way up during the pre-choruses, and wow, this is just terrible. Change their name, haircuts, clothes, and bass player and presto, Bullet For My Valentine was born. Blabbermouth commenter Aggroculture summed it up best: “so they were sub Lostprophets nu-metal mooks. no surprise there.”

Here they are, jumping around like goons, in all their glory: Jeff Killed John.

-VN

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