(I am well aware that that is a shit title, but I’ve been hanging out with my grandma all day and she’s really excited about the Emmys, so it’s the best I could dredge up with visions of Mad Men buzzing through my skull. Also, I’m still wicked jet-lagged, so suck it).
RVA’s weed-obsessed death metallers Cannabis Corpse have just returned home from a triumphant month-long tour that took the four of them, our intrepid driver Michal, and yours truly on a whiskey-soaked, high-spirited adventure through Europe, the UK, and Russia. I started writing a full-on tour diary early on (check out the first installment here) but quickly realized that it was going to be nearly impossible to find the time or appropriate technological accoutrements to continue; the WiFi situation got pretty dire, and honestly, it gets boring after awhile to read a laundry list of “Italy ruled! France ruled! Austria ruled!” etc. I believe we did 28 dates total (give or take a few – I may still be hungover from London) and every show was a good one; some were amazing, others were more low-key, but it was a fantastic experience overall. There were tons of highlights – swimming in the Mediterranean, finding an old Russian tank and walking through a lit-up Red Square at night, drinking craft beer on a mountaintop in Austria, watching Mayhem from the side of the stage at a French festival, the mind-blowing food in Italy, absinthe lemonade in the Czech Republic, seeing old friends and reuniting with old ones, and partying in about four different time zones, to say the least. Essentially, this tour RULED, and there are now a few hundred heshers stalking the streets of Vienna, London, Moscow, Helsinki, and tons of other places sporting Cannabis Corpse shirts, so mission accomplished there!
One of the coolest things about this trip was being able to meet and hang out with metalheads from all over Europe and bond over a mutual love of brutality, blastbeats, and bongs. Of the many bands that shared the stage with the ‘Corpse, there were a certain handful that really stood out and made an impression on me, either through sheer musical might or by virtue of the awesomeness of the members themselves. There were plenty of utterly crap bands too, of course, but the odds were weighed heavily in the favor of high-calibre heavy metal. My perch behind the merch table generally afforded me the best seat in the house, and the following five bands were the ones that made me appreciate it most!
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I love music, but I am first and foremost a fan of comedy. If you were to spy on my iPod, you’d see that I spend 90% of my time listening to Joe Rogan and Adam Carolla’s podcasts. Music is cool and all, but you can only hear so much before the novelty wears off and you just want to hear an insecure nerd droning on and on about airport security, his nagging wife, or whatever comedians talk about these days.
