Last month, Vince posted a video of a really, really beautiful young woman performing a really, really beautiful rendition of Mastodon’s “Oblivion” on the piano. But one of the key differences between me and Vince is that I like my women to be batshit crazy. So fuck traditional beauty — I much prefer Ukrainian pianist Viktoriya Yermolyeva’s piano version of the Carcass classic “Corporal Jigsore Quandry.” Watching Yermolyeva flail around at the piano gives me visions of her hurling heavy and potentially very hurtful objects at me as she tells me what a bastard I am in her native tongue. I think I’m in love!

-AR

[via Metal Insider]

MetalSucks tipster extraordinaire Hetal Bhatt sent us the below video, and while it has nothing to do with metal, it did make me laugh, and I did forward it to friends. So, enjoy:

And on that note, here’s some stuff we did this week:

• We debuted new music by Chimaira, Cannabis Corpse, and S.O.S.
• We debuted a new music video from Sleeping Giant.
• We got new gear tips from Periphery’s Misha Mansoor and Revocation’s Dan Gargiulo, and we spoke to Michael Amott from Arch Enemy.
• We checked out the latest releases from Decapitated, The Black Dahlia Murder, Limp Bizkit, and Wormrot.
• We pondered a world in which concertgoers can’t film shows with their iPhones.
• We marveled that anyone finds Tosh.0 to be funny.
• We wondered which deathcore frontman has the best tattoos.
• We found the worst line-up for a festival ever.
• We chose our favorite extras from the new Annotations of an Autopsy video.
• We broke the bad news that vocalist Chris Clancy and keyboardist Drew Stavola are both out of Mutiny Within.

You’ve got one more week with me and me alone before Vince comes back. Deal with it, fuckers.

See ya Monday.

-AR

Arch Enemy have never made an album I’ve disliked; in fact, they fall squarely into the category of “I Don’t Know Why Anyone Would Ever Complain About This Band.” They’re one of those groups, like Slayer, who just always manage to both stay true to themselves and bring the goods.

In fact, on their latest album, Khaos Legions, they’ve more than brought the goods — they’ve actually upped their game. This is the best-written, most-complete sounding album the band has made since 2001′s Wages of Sins. What spurred on this further increase in quality? Could it be because, for the first time in their existence, Arch Enemy took more than two years in-between releases? Or could it be because guitarist Michael Amott and drummer Daniel Erlandsson picked up a little extra awesome juice during their recent tours with Amott’s old band, the unfuckwithable Carcass?

As I learned when we spoke on the phone a few weeks ago, Amott himself is the first to confirm that both of these facts were contributing factors to Legions‘ excellence. I also got to ask him about reuniting with producer Rickard Bengtsson (who was on board for 2005′s Doomsday Machine), how the band are handling being their own managers now, and, oh yeah, about what fans can expect from AE’s upcoming, MetalSucks co-presented North American Khaos tour with DevilDriver, Skeletonwitch, and Chthonic (dates here).

Read the full transcript of our chat after the jump!

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Before there were blogs there were these things called magazines, and the only metal magazine we still get excited about reading every month is Decibel. Here’s managing editor Andrew Bonazelli…

For this week’s FED, I was all ready to write something (more) idiotic (than usual) about how we usually parcel out shirts, six-month subscriptions and Flexi series streams gratis, but this month—for the privilege of hearing the Black Dahlia Murder and special guest Jeff Fucking Walker covering Carcass’s Heartwork deep cut “This Mortal Coil”—you’d have to actually buy the magazine. Well, believe it or not, some enterprising young reader already ripped the fucking thing and posted it to YouTube. Which is cool and all, since we’re not officially streaming it. We’re particularly chuffed by said reader’s Senator Davis-channeling minor complaint “God damnit. I hate when the vocals first start it skips. My flexi must be flawed i cant get it to not skip there… shittttttttttttt.”

Anyway, go there and check it out. Strnad and Walker execute the most scintillating line trading since Marvin Lee Aday and Lorraine Crosby in “I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That).” As always, it’s totally exclusive to the Decibel Flexi series, on commandingly virile royal blue. Sharpen your scalpels (read: set aside some money) and start slicing (read: subscribe).

-AB

Decibel’s July 2011 issue also features Morbid Angel, Coroner, Baroness, Autopsy, Revocation, Wormrot, and an incredible article about album packaging. That issue is available here, but why not get a full subscription to ensure you never miss one of these awesome flexi discs?

Before there were blogs there were these things called magazines, and the only metal magazine we still get excited about reading every month is Decibel. Here’s managing editor Andrew Bonazelli…

The only other time Decibel put Morbid Angel on the cover was our fifth issue, in March of 2005. David Vincent had just answered our dark prayers, returning to the fold to “focus on putting together a really brutal tour featuring classic Morbid Angel tracks.” That was radical enough, but what everybody was really rabid for was a new Vincent/Azagthoth collaboration, the first since ’95’s Domination. Predictably, Trey didn’t have much of a scoop for us: “We’re just taking this day by day. It takes so long to put an album together. I don’t think I’m at that point yet.”

Suffice it to say, it took him fucking long enough to get to that point. And in just under two weeks, if you’re not a metal journalist or friend of the band, you’ll finally get a thorough overview of what Tampa’s finest have been slaving away on: the deeply polarizing eighth album, Illud Divinum Insanus. And you’ll learn soon enough if your perspective mirrors the majority of those who have already heard it (mass facepalm) or if Azagthoth’s notorious experimental daring has paid off yet again. J. Bennett grills both principals and gets a pretty fascinating explanation for the startling new direction. It’s the big story in July’s dB, available in the webstore now, for subscribers within two weeks. This one doesn’t have a gushing Mars Volta review (sorry, J.), so it’s an improvement on multiple levels!

-AB

Decibel’s July 2011 issue also features Baroness, Coroner, Autopsy, Revocation, Wormrot, an incredible article about album packaging, and an awesome flexi disc of The Black Dahlia Murder covering Carcass’ “This Mortal Coil” with Jeff fucking Walker. That issue is available here, but why not get a full subscription to ensure you never miss one?

You’ve all read Decibel editor-in-chief Albert Mudrian’s Choosing Death, right? If not, you should get off your ass and do that; it’s the definitive history of death metal and grindcore, and whether you’ve been a fan of those genres since the day of Scum or you’re a youngin’ trying to figure out what the big deal about Carcass is, you are guaranteed to learn something from reading it.

Well, I’m super-stoked to let you know that Mudrian has now penned a second volume of Choosing Death — this one focusing on deathcore. Says Mudrian via press release:

“Deathcore is the definitive form of extreme music in the aughties. As Napalm Death, Carcass, Cannibal Corpse, and Suffocation were to my generation, so will bands like Suicide Silence, Oceano, Emmure, and Winds of Plague be to this generation.These bands are proudly carrying the torch of the brutal music we all love, so it only made sense to see to it that their story was told.”

And the best part is — MetalSucks’ own Sergeant D. wrote the introduction! So now you know you need that shit.

You can pre-order a copy of Albert Mudrian’s Choosing Death II right here — it hits shelves on May 24 via Da Capo Press.

-AR

When I look back at the last twenty years, there is perhaps no more important musical entity in my life than England’s EARACHE RECORDS (srs). Back when I was a little kid on a quest to find the fastest, most cock-smashingly brutal music I could get my hands on, I stumbled across a copy of the legendary Grindcrusher compilation, and I’ve been hooked on death metal ever since. As my gateway to metal, Earache will always have a special place in my heart– and when you care for someone as I do for Earache, it hurts to see them lose their way, stumble, and fall as Earache did in the 90s and 00s. I had written them off as yet another band/label/artist who has a brief moment of brilliance, burns brightly, then fizzles out before dying in undignified circumstances [via Vincent Van Gogh]. But I am happy to report that I couldn’t be more wrong! Earach is back on the horse, stronger than ever, and signing more relevant, exciting bands than ever (srs).

In this post, I will briefly recap the label’s history in three sections to bring newer readers up to speed on Nottingham’s finest export. I will then share my thoughts on their current signings and solicit suggestions on which bands the label should sign next– hopefully Dig is reading!

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Scale the Summit, Trap Them, Weedeater and Omnium Gatherum top the New Releases class of March 1st, 2011. New ones from American Heritage, Bill Steer’s Firebird, Grayceon and others also come out this week, making it one of the healthiest new release weeks for metal thus far in 2011. MS New Release Czar Vic Vaughn takes a look after the jump.

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In the first installment of “OLD BANDS U MIGHT NOT KNOW ABOUT“, I shared a bunch of old bands that I like. Instead of coming up with a new description, I will just reuse the old one:

When I am not trolling simple-minded, entry-level elitists, I enjoy the soothing, dulcet tones of some classic thrash or death metal. I am definitely not any kind of metal encyclopedia or authority on the subject, but I have realized that (sadly) I’m old enough to have heard a few bands that many younger metal fans have not, just because I have been exposed to a lot of bands over the years — sort of like an ancient desert tortoise who is not a historian, but has seen history unfold before his eyes simply because he is old as fuck. Because I enjoy giving back to my community, I will share some of my favorite older bands in case any of you might like them. If you want to hate on me, that’s OK, too, so feel free to tell me I’m a poser, that everybody already knows about these bands, that I got some trivial detail wrong, or whatever else you think makes you “sound like u rly know what ur talking about.”

With that out of the way, here’s volume 2!

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“BIG PANTS WASTE PRECIOUS FABRIC”

Step into my Nocturnus time machine and take a magical journey with me into a time long, long ago, an excursion into a world that scarcely resembles our own. In this world — we’ll call it Moshtopia — hardcore kids are known for wearing giant, baggy pants, not skinny jeans; there are people under 30 that know who Black Flag is; and metalcore bands worship Krishna, not Christ. This is not a fanciful episode of Jojo’s Bizarre Adeventure fan fiction, my friends, — it is the strange and wonderful world of mid-90s hardcore!

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Were System of a Down the first band to use either the phrase “hiatus” or “indefinite hiatus” instead of the phrase “breaking up?” It certainly seems like they were trend setters in that regard. Now let’s see if they can set a trend of reuniting in a half decade or less.

Yes, SOAD — confirming rumors that have been floating around for damn close to a year – have announced tour dates for 2011.

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Welcome to “Question of the Week,” a (sometimes) weekly debate amongst the MetalSucks staff regarding a recent hot button issue.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, which means we’re taking off early today and won’t be back ’til Monday. We’re sorry to leave non-American readers high n’ dry, but PLUS ONE FOR FREEDOM, MOTHERFUCKERS.

ANYWAY, in honor of the holiday, we decided to do a special Turkey Day-themed QOTW designed to make you feel all warm and cuddly inside:

WHAT (IN METAL) ARE YOU THANKFUL FOR?

The MS staff’s answers after the jump.

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There are few things internet metal fans love more than rage-fueled pissing contests and/or petty flame wars about incredibly trivial, inconsequential topics. Which is the best Saxon album? Are Waking The Cadaver deathcore or slam?? How big is Danny Spitz’ watch collection?! They’ve settled just about every argument there is to have regarding metal, but not one of the most crucial: WHO INVENTED THE BLAST BEAT? Few know that the answer to this question isn’t some obscure English grindcore band, but the popular college rap band THE BEASTIE BOYS.

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The internet is cool, but I’m totally relieved that it was invented after my teen years. I spent those years trashing all bands disrespectful enough to not copy Van Halen (then Metallica, then Carcass), so it’s awesome that my half-baked opinions didn’t appear online for all to see, say, in the comments section of some virtual argue-dome for uptight virginal nerds. But no, only a handful of people heard my most misguided, sexual angst-driven opinions. That’s a small victory.

So, for example, I’m super-glad there’s no proof that I instantly and angrily dissed the few oddball bands that Headbangers Ball would try to slip in among the Testament and Slaughter. No one can prove, per se, that at first I was really offended by Faith No More and their irreverent treatment of heavy music (Rap? Black Sabbath cover? Bright colors?). I might’ve also taken a firm and retarded stand against last-video-of-the-night types like Masters of Reality and King’s X. Oh, and I positively wiped my ass with Mordred. Okay, I was right about that last one.

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First things first: screamo is literally worse than the Holocaust in my book. With a few notable exceptions, I absolutely cannot stand this shit. That said, with bands like The Devil Wears Prada and Underoath selling out huge venues, putting out platinum-selling albums, and selling truckloads of cookie-cutter merch to every angsty suburban teen within driving distance of a Hot Topic, it’s hard not to pay attention to the genre. I might not like it, but Kids These Days certainly do. My biggest question: Where the fuck did this shit come from??

As someone who saw the birth of metalcore and “true screamo”/skramz firsthand in the 90s, I am highly confused when I listen to these bands. On the one hand, they are not so different from anything that could have been on Victory or Indecision in the 90s (Earth Crisis, All Out War, Bloodlet). Obviously there are some things that have changed over time, but the fundamentals of metalcore are still there (see my post “The 5 Kinds Of Music Teens Are Into” for more details). On the other hand, the kids in Alesana, August Burns Red, and possibly even As I Lay Dying have no fucking idea who those pioneering metalcore bands are, much less that screamy vocals were born in the tiny basement shows and vegan bakesales of the 90s DIY hardcore scene.

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Soundgarden reunion rumors have been flying around almost as long as Soundgarden have been broken up. (And in case you lost count, this Friday will be the thirteenth anniversary of the break-up. Someone will have been born and bar mitzvahed in the time since Soundgarden were last together! Egads!) Chris Cornell pretty much let the cat out of the bag that the band is reuniting back in January, and now they’ve announced that they’re headlining Lollapalooza in August. (Unfortunately, the rest of the line-up for that festival is pretty blech, especially from a fan of half-way decent rock; there’s Social Distortion and, uh, that’s it. If the artist on the bill I’d be most excited to see that isn’t Soundgarden is Erykah Badu, well, that’s a festival I won’t be attending.)

And, as usual, my enthusiasm is tempered with cynicism.

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When it comes to music (and other things really), I tend to play devil’s advocate. If everyone is shitting on a certain band, for some reason, I become more attracted to that band and seek them out. I don’t know what it is about my personality, but I think it stems from the same perspective that inspired me to write the antagonistic blog about rethrash. It may be a character flaw, but I’m sure it has something to do with a need to be an individual. From what I gather, this website is inhabited mainly by “true” metal heads. What I define as “true” are people whom are purists in the realm of metal and usually scoff at any band or trend that reeks of premeditated commercialism or an overt play for popularity, and who usually demand a certain level of musicianship and underground credibility. These fans usually hate every Metallica record after …And Justice For All, and for that matter always prefer any particular band’s older releases, which usually have a more raw and unrefined recording quality, as well as more abstract, less traditional song writing. For example, they will prefer Carcass’s Necrotiscim to Heartwork, or Morbid Angel’s Blessed Are The Sick to Domination. Oh yeah, and these guys gave up on In Flames and Soilwork years ago.

I have a good deal of that purism in my bones, but it always seemed short sighted and close minded. You have no idea how many arguments the Adler brothers from Lamb of God and I have gotten into over the merits of a particluar Metallica or Megadeth record. If you even bring up Disturbed or Limp Bizkit on MetalSucks, it is mocked and disregarded 100% of the time. I think metal heads often have a sheep mentality because of the fear of being viewed by their peers as less credible for liking bands that aren’t considered “true” or “real” enough. We all have guilty pleasures, but the real question is “Why should we feel guilty about something we enjoy?”

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Ok so like I know that mash-ups are SO totally last year (or worse, the year before) and everyone is kinda sick of ‘em… but come on, you’re not really THAT sick of ‘em, are you? Especially ones that ironically juxtapose brutal metal bands with pop stars. Two minutes of your time for a good laugh. Cheerio!

-VN

[Thanks: Corey Mitchell]

We’ve all been there. Tensions are high in some packed, sweaty venue, sparked by feverish excitement and the potential for violence. These people paid good money to enjoy some type of cathartic release. The frontman for whatever hard-nu-death-crab-metal-core outfit is brazen and demanding. Can you believe this shit? You PAID to be entertained, and this guy is telling YOU what to do! The speech goes something like this: “I want everybody in this room moving! Front to back, side to side, NO ONE STANDS STILL! When this part kicks in, I want total [Insert destructive word here like "chaos," "mayhem," or "bedlam" if you're witty]. If the person next to you isn’t moving, MAKE THEM MOVE!” Than, if the action is not adequate, this screamer/pep rally organizer calls YOU some variation of “pussy” or “faggot” or really anything to make you feel like a soft, womanly bitch of a man in order to get in that pit and kick another grown man in the face, all in the spirit of making this band look like they are awesome. But then something happens, as if the air is sucked out of the room at the moment of impact – when those glorious staccato chugs kick in, the crowd is almost always powerless to its charms regardless of the obvious lack of substance. Like junk food and reality TV, we have a love affair with breakdowns.

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Yesterday a little fight broke out in the comments section of our bit on the mysteries of Andrew W.K., and not that a little fight breaking out in our comments section is unusual, but this fight wasn’t really about Andrew W.K. – it was about the piano, which AWK plays.

And the piano is awesome. There should be doubt of this. Good pianists should be respected, even if the phrase “good pianist” sounds kinda funny.

As if to prove this point for us, Maniac “musicalsnob” posted a link to a YouTube user going by the handle “vkgoeswild.” She does some pretty rad piano covers of metal songs. Check out her take on Carcass’ “Corporal Jigsore Quandar,” for example:

After the jump, check out vkgoeswild as she does Slayer’s “Raining Blood,” and actually makes Marilyn Manson sound pretty.

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