Interview and live pics by Emily Eve; girls on stage pic by Friedia Niimura

In one sense, making records is like using the toilet: It takes more to do number two than number one. And in the case of L.A. heavy metal semi-parodists Steel Panther, a follow-up to their wildly funny and compulsively banging 2009 debut Feel The Steel is an even bigger, stinkier challenge: This time, fans can see them coming, um so to speak. But in the spotlight’s glare, before expectant ears and faces poised to smile, lead singer Michael Starr and crew deliver a bigger, dirtier, and awesomer mass of heavy metal hilarity called Balls Out (available Tuesday). The 14-track tour de farce covers 47 amazing minutes, a range of hot-button rocker issues (drugs, gender roles, boners), and a load of singalong mega-choruses and nip-scorching guitar solos unheard since pro tools was just an aisle at Sears. To those somehow able to resist Feel The Steel, I say: You’re fucked now. Balls Out is stronger than you and your feeble protestations. Crank. It. Up.

This feat of skill and cocksmanship on display in Balls Out begs for investigation, so last week I went to hear firsthand how Steel Panther achieved the equivalent of making a Ghostbusters II better than its Ghostbusters I. And though it was a rainy, gusty Autumn night, the huge Steel Panther dressing room was buzzing heatedly as I sat down with Starr and lead bass player Lexxi Foxxx to get answers. Just nearby were lead guitarist Satchel (at whom I gazed lovingly whenever his inattention allowed) and lead drummer Stix Zadinia (with entourage) as the three of us gabbed highly about Balls Out, drugs, vaginas, immaturity, maturity, the guy from Nickelback, shaving stuff, the responsibilities of being Steel Panther, and much more.

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Am I the only one who sees the complete absurdity in the whole “on hiatus” thing bands do these days? In 2010 no band stays broken up… every band gets back together, at least to tour if not also to release new music, because they need to do so to make a living. But it seems like every time a band announces they’re taking a break / “on hiatus” the media freaks out; will they ever be back, or is this the end??? Of course they’ll be back, nincompoop!

I call Metal Insider’s Bram Teitelman a nincompoop only in jest, of course, because I know the guy’s a legit Ratt fan; dude once told me his first concert was Ratt with special guest openers Bon Jovi, some new young band at the time. That’s real deal! Metal Insider is reporting that Ratt singer Stephen Pearcy is the latest band member to confirm there won’t be any more Ratt shows or new music in the near future after bassist Robbie Crane said the same this past Monday. In an interview with Philadelphia’s WYSP:

I’ll be taking care of some solo stuff until Ratt takes care of its business, and then we’ll probably or hopefully start working on another record. We’ll go on hiatus for a while, and everybody will do their own thing, and then we’ll take it from there.

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There really aren’t any ’80s bands that are still making relevant music in 2010, and Ratt managed to do just that with Infestation… but I’ve waxed ecstatic about that album enough already. While other ’80s hair bands have been relegated to either the fair and festival circuit or nostalgia package tours, it’s fitting that Ratt commemorated their album release with a good old fashioned tour of sweaty clubs. And in Philadelphia on Saturday night — the ultimate Ratturday celebration — Ratt dazzled with a captivating performance that served to remind why this band is experiencing such an unlikely renaissance.

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Since Ratt’s awesome Infestation release party took place at The Key Club on Sunset Strip, the birthplace of hair rock, one could conclude that nostalgia was inevitable. And probably intentional. Even knowing that, it still was easy to get choked up at the sight of Ratt guitar stud Warren DeMartini partnering on a harmony solo with a tall, blond guy. That hasn’t happened since cordless phones were invented and late guitarist Robbin Crosby hadn’t yet been ravaged by hard drugs.

And even though Ratt’s setlist relied on early singles, the event was firmly rooted in the present (contrary to my pathetic wishes). For one thing, there were a ton of 4/20 revelers, and the hot rock chicks present eschewed the timeless appeal of a loose florescent tank top for complicated tattoos and blinding douchewear. But honors for loudest outfit go to the singer, as it should be, as Stephen Pearcy was rocking leather pants that I guess become jeans at the knees.

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These Queensryche “Cabaret” live shows sure do sound interesting but I’m not about to fly out west just to see Geoff Tate prancing around in a leotard. Maybe MS Super Stud Anso DF wants to go to the Palm Springs or San Diego date? Regardless, I can’t be bothered — Queensryche haven’t released anything good in many a year (I’d argue that 2003′s Tribe was a half-decent entry) and in the meantime we’ve got a ridiculously great new Ratt album to jam. It’s seriously all I want to listen to right now. I can’t help it — it’s so good!

One thing I keep forgetting while pumping my fist in the air to “Eat Me Up Alive” or the stupidly catchy “Lost Weekend” or “As Good As It Gets” is that Carlos Cavazo is in this band now. Allow me to repeat: Carlos Cavazo is now in Ratt. As if having Tasty Riff McTasterson himself, Warren DeMartini, weren’t enough, the Ratt pack now has two lead guitarists amongst its ranks. The results are an ’80s guitar nerd’s wet dream, and not in a “Steve Vai and Joe Satriani shredding on the same record over top of each other constantly!” kind of way… just tasty riff after tasty riff, juicy lick after finger-smacking, delicious, savory lick. Lately I’ve been playing the “Who’s playing this guitar solo?” game. It’s fun because DeMartini and Cavazo’s styles are similar enough (same tree, different branches) so that you can’t immediately tell who’s playing, but if you’re familiar with each axeman’s discography you can definitely zone in on certain stylistic subtleties and differences in the way the two string notes together.

Here’s a stream of Infestation album-opener “Eat Me Up Alive” which Axl posted a couple of weeks back but I’d like to post again because a) it rules, b) I’m fairly certain both DeMartini and Cavazo take solos in this song. (You may need to click the slider after hitting play to get it to work.). The whole album is this good… really, I swear. Infestation comes out officially on April 20th.

-VN

Behind the scenes at the MetalSucks Mansion yesterday:

Vince Neilstein [via email]: Wanna cover this? I think it’s pretty big news.

Michael S. Robinson [MetalSucks' Hair Metal Happy Hour columnist]: Old news; this has been circulating for a while. I think the bigger news will be where John Corabi ends up – it won’t be Velvet Revolver, but it should be! Anyway, no one gives a shit about Ratt, not even Ratt, so I’m not sure MS readers would care. Cavazo is useless anyway – what has the guy done worthwhile since Metal Health? Even then, that record was great, but he wasn’t. Anyway, let me know if you want me to put something together, but I just don’t see people caring.

And there you have it. This is how news is made, folks.