To the MetalSucks Maniac known as “Sacajewea,” we would like to say the following: YOU ARE A FUCKING RETARD. It’s incredible how retarded you are, you stupid fucking idiot mongoloid half-wit retard.

We send this message because in October of ’09, Sacajewea left a comment on the very first post we ever wrote, saying he was “Just here to dig up the past;” then he left another comment, just this past June, which read:

“I did it twice. Fuck I’m retarded. If anyone sees this please find me in a recent post and tell me how retarded I am.”

On December 26, 2006 — a date that will live in infamy — we did what professionals call a “soft launch” but we just call “the day we first posted on this blog.” Our slogan was “Smart About Metal,” a play on the slogan for Film Comment magazine.

We had these two stupid South Park caricatures that Axl made at his then-job when he was bored. (Axl forgot until just now that he had a really long goatee in ’06; Vince still had phantom Jew ‘fro, where some days he can feel it, man!) We only posted once or twice a day, throughout the week, pretty much when we had time/interest. We didn’t use tags. We often didn’t post graphics or videos. Our headlines weren’t capitalized. We interviewed members of Stuck Mojo and Twisted Sister, because that’s who we could get interviews with. Believe it or not, we tried to get an interview with God Forbid… and we failed.

Basically, we had no fucking idea what we were doing.

We can’t believe that this is our 10,000th post. We can’t believe we’re still doing this almost four years after we started. We can’t believe that so many of you are reading it. Seriously: WE WERE ONLY FUCKING KIDDING.

So…

Thanks to Kip (who has been here longer than anyone besides Vince and Axl!), Sammy, Gary, Anso, Satan (the MetalSucks contributor and the deity), Sergeant D., Bob, Leyla, Corey, Urbandale, Dave, Matt, Ferris, Dallas, Eyal, Sacha, Paul, Bulb, Arthur, Anton OyVey, Rich Hallford, David Bee Roth, Van Arseface, Mike Pattongill, Angela Gossowski, Joey V., and everyone else who has ever written for us… MetalSucks would not be where it is if not for all of you.

Thanks to everyone in the music industry who has helped us over the years, even as they must have been secretly hoping we would van flip.

And of course, thanks to all the MetalSucks Maniacs, Suckalos, annoying people who can’t use the “search” function, and dudes that have sent us death threats. We can’t tell you how grateful we are that you read our site. Thank you thank you thank you.

Now, with a complete lack of humility, Axl and Vince present their ten favorite MetalSucks posts of all time. Enjoy.

Click to read more…

Holy shit, is it seriously August already? It’s gonna start getting cold soon. Motherfucker. Here’s what we did this week when we should have been enjoying the sunshine and fresh air:

• We’re streaming Dementia/Dyslexia, the Metal Blade debut of Fleshwrought,  a new project from Animosity/Animals as Leaders’ Navene Koperweis and Job for a Cowboy’s Jonny Davy.
• We debuted an EPK for Iron Thrones’ The Wretched Sun.
• We also debuted “Fear, Emptiness, Decibel,” a new column from the editors of our favorite metal rag.
• We had a little beard on beard action with Andy Williams from Every Time I Die and Liam Wilson from The Dillinger Escape Plan. We also spoke to Avenged Sevenfold’s Johnny Christ, The Dillinger Escape Plan’s Jeff Tuttle and Pathology’s Dave Astor.
• We checked out the latest releases from Chimaira and Decrepit Birth.
• We schooled Korn’s Jonathan Davis on the BP Oil Spill.
• We questioned the sincerity of Max Cavalera’s claim that his collaboration with Fred Durst is all Ross Robinson’s fault.
• We questioned Glenn Danzig’s sanity. Again.
• We got pissy that Eddie’s not on the cover of the new Maiden album.
• We got boners watching 72 minutes of pro-shot Gojira footage.
• We did not get boners looking at Emmure noodz.
• We found the best bass player in the history of forever-ever-ever.

We’ll be hanging out at the Summer Slaughter show this Sunday here in NYC; if you spot us, please bring us presents. We like presents. Thanks.

-AR

A lot has happened since Chimaira released their first full-length DVD, The Dehumanizing Process, in 2004; as captured by director Todd Bell, the band portrayed in that DVD is struggling to make the album they want to make, struggling to stay signed, struggling to get good tours, struggling just to stay together. The Chimaira of Coming Alive — the band’s third excellent collaboration with Bell — are opening for Disturbed, playing arenas, and taking bets on how many copies The Infection will sell in its first week. We’re obviously not in Metallica territory or anything here, and we do see that the band’s members are still working their collective ass off (a scene in which bassist Jim LaMarca personally hands out band stickers and canvasses fans is particularly striking) — but Coming Alive has less conflict and drama than its predecessor. And while no one should begrudge a band this talented and hard-working, unfortunately, conflict and drama are the things great stories are made of.

It’s the biggest — and, really, the only — strike against Coming Alive. Luckily, Bell is such a talented guy that it also really doesn’t matter in the scheme of things.

Click to read more…

In case you somehow missed those banners on either side of the page today, Chimaira’s massive three-disc DVD/CD set, Coming Alive, is out as of right now. I can’t write a review yet because, honestly, I haven’t been able to get through it all — not because it’s not awesome, but because there’s just so damn much of it. The Todd Bell documentary alone is three hours! Sheesh.

But what I have ingested thus far has been excellent. And now the live CD portion of the collection — recorded this past December at the tenth annual Chimaira Christmas hometown gig in Cleveland — is streaming here. If for some reason you didn’t pre-order Coming Alive and are still on the fence about buying it, go listen and be convinced.

And I promise to have a review up just as soon as I can.

-AR

Just last week Lamb of God’s Randy Blythe hopped on stage with Hatebreed to help out with “Doomsayer,” and I wondered why musicians on these mega-package tours don’t do cool shit like that more often — and now, it seems, Mr. Blythe has struck again! Here’s some video of him doing “Pure Hatred” with Chimaira in Idaho (potatoes represent!) recently. Looks like Blythe is aiming to be Mayhem’s MVP this year.

Chimaira’s new three DVD/CD set, Coming Alive, is out tomorrow on Ferret. I’ll have a review up ASAP.

-AR

[via The PRP]

Earlier this month, Chimaira announced a July 20 release date for their new DVD, Coming Alive; now that DVD has a trailer. It doesn’t tell us that much, but the footage does look fucking sweet. Plus, it promises a subplot about one of the band members remodeling his condo! So there’s that.

The documentary portion of this thing is apparently three hours long – and that’s WITHOUT all the concert footage and bonus features. Holy shit, that is gonna be one belt-buckle-busting feast for us Chimaira fans.

Complete details of the DVD are after the jump, courtesy The PRP.

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We’ve known that Chimaira and filmmaker Todd Bell were working on a new full-length DVD pretty much since the recording of The Infection – heck, we’ve even seen a small preview of its contents. But now that DVD has a name, a release day, and – bonus! – a CD component: Coming Alive will be released on July 20 via Ferret. In addition to a new four-part, Bell-directed documentary that covers a year and a half in the life of the band, the DVD will feature a concert film of the band’s tenth annual Chimaira Christmas hometown show from this past December, the awesome “Making of Resurrection” doc that was part of the bonus DVD for that album, plus a documentary made up of forty minutes of home video footage. And, oh yeah, then there’s that CD, which is the audio from the Chimaira Christmas concert.

Click to read more…

It doesn’t feel like spring out today – it feels like summer. The sun has been going down later and later and the weather has been getting nicer and nicer, and now, all of sudden, it’s 90 (!) degrees out. I don’t think it will last all that long – the East Coast often gets one last snowstorm in April before the nice weather begins in earnest – but it has made for some very relaxing, long walks as of late. (Not hurting: that the ladies of NYC have wasted no time adjusting their wardrobes appropriately. It’s like a Rock of Love casting call out there, except, mercifully, with fewer surgical “enhancements.”)

The problem is, when the doom n’ gloom of metal is your music of choice, it can be hard to find an appropriate soundtrack for such a beautiful day.

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It’s not bad enough that that Bullet For My Valentine’s “The Last Fight” is about as shitty as metal song as I’ve ever heard. Nnnnoooo. The director of the accompanying video had to interpret the song’s title as literally as possible as make the clip about fighting. More specifically, “extreme fighting,” or MMA fighting, or whatever the fuck it is that has the kids all hot n’ bothered these days.

How many fucking times am I gonna have to watch this crap in a video? It’s been done. It was done just last week, in fact, and it was already unoriginal then. Fuck, Chimaira did it three years ago!

You really can’t think of a single different idea? I have a hard time believing that. This is just lazy, cynical bullshit. Sorry. Epic fucking fail.

-AR

Andols Herrick is easliy one of my favorite drummers in modern metal. And when he’s not working with the mighty Chimaira, he’s giving drum lessons! So while you might usually think “Gee, that’s awesome, I wish I lived near him in Cleveland so I could study with him,” Herrick is now going to be offering lessons via Skype, which means you can study with him no matter where you live. Sez Ballsinrmouth:

The lessons will be similar to the in-person ones done in Cleveland — usually split between focusing on hands and focusing on the whole kit (or just kick drum pads, if noise is a problem). As long as you have either a webcam or a built-in one on your laptop, all you have to do is download Skype and the video to video interaction doesn’t cost anything.

If I played drums or even had the hand-eye coordination necessary to try and play drums, I would totally take advantage of this opportunity. And while I’ve only met Andols for like a fraction of a minute, everything about him screamed “Incredibly nice dude!”  Interested parties can contact Andols at drummerandolsherrick AT yahoo DOT com.

-AR

So apparently Ozzfest is coming back this summer, and is coming back as a traveling tour again (as opposed to the one-off fest it was in 2008). And that’s all well and good, only… who’s gonna be on the bill?

Mayhem, which is basically Ozzfest 2.0, has already scooped up a lot of big-name bands for the summer, including many who have played multiple past Ozzfests – namely Korn, Rob Zombie, Lamb of God, Atreyu, Shadows Fall and Hatebreed, the latter of whom I think have been on something like 90% of all Ozzfests ever.

Add to that other Ozzfest alum like Chimaira, In This Moment and Norma Jean, and some bands the kids today all seem to like, such as Winds of Plague and They Who Shall Not Be Named, and, well, that’s a whole bunch of potential mainstage and second stage draws right there.

Then there’s the mini-fests like Summer Slaughter. I can’t tell you which bands we already know are booked for some of these tours without betraying a lot of people’s confidence, but I can tell you that some great bands are now no longer available for Ozzfest.

And, oh yeah, Megadeth, Slayer, and Testament are now doing their American Carnage tour in the summer, so they’re out.

So who’s left? After the jump, I’m going to play my favorite game: it’s called “over-think about something incredibly unimportant.”

Before we proceed, it’s worth noting that I’m going to try and be semi-realistic when moving forward with some barely-educated guesses about who’ll be playing Ozzfest. If a band already has summer tour dates booked, I’m going to assume they’re not avail, although I acknowledge that they could cancel those dates in favor of playing for a bigger crowd. And I’m not even going to bother with bands like Pig Destroyer, Sigh, and Salome – bands that will play Ozzfest right around the time Joey Belladonna’s solo band plays four sold-out headlining shows at Giants Stadium. Also, obviously not all of these bands are gonna end up on the bill – these are just bands I think could end up there.

And so, without further bullshit…

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The line-up for the 2010 Rockstar Energy Drink Mayhem Festival (Jesus I hate typing all that shit) has been announced. See who’ll be playing one of the summer’s biggest metal tours after the jump, along with my snarky commentary, of course…

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If you hit up Trivium’s most recent U.S. tour with Chimaira, you may have noticed an absence of drummer Travis Smith. When the tour started, the band said that Smith “will not be joining us on this leg and is home taking care of some personal business.” Filling-in for him on the tour was his drum tech, Maruta’s Nick Augusto.

Meanwhile, we’d heard some rumors from a pretty reputable source that Smith wasn’t coming back at all. We didn’t say anything at the time ’cause sometimes someone tells you something off the record and it’s not cool to print that kinda thing (even we’re not that dickish)… but now that Metal Underground is reporting the rumor, fuck it. We don’t think Smith is coming back to Trivium.

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It’s hard to believe that Dime has been gone for five years, but December 8 will be the anniversary of one of metal’s bleakest moments. To cash-in on commemorate the event, Metal Hammer have enlisted a bunch of well-known acts to record Pantera covers (but not Damageplan covers, because, y’know, let’s get real here) for a CD that will come with the magazine. Metal Hammer has done this a few times in the past – I remember they had they entire Master of Puppets album re-recorded by various bands, including Mastodon, Machine Head, Chimaira and Trivium when that album reached its twentieth anniversary, and some of it was pretty good.

Get the complete track list for Metal Hammer’s Dime tribute disc after the jump, along with my thoughts in bold.

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These are fun. You guys have been sending in a LOT of links… here’s the best of the best, in this blogger’s humble opinion.

• Painted in Exile: At first I was skeptical of Byron W.’s claim that this Sumeriancore act is “quite interesting”… but it’s true. They’ve got a unique slant to their djenty sound.
• Keith Merrow: An extremely well-produced one-man metal outfit based out of Portland, OR… if you like Periphery (Misha Mansoor), new Decapitated drummer Krimh’s solo stuff, or the Chronicles of Israfel (about whom I posted last week), you’ll definitely dig this. [Thanks: David Blanton]
• Ryashon: Says MS reader Jason Lawson, “they’re two brothers, not ‘bruthas’, from PA that are in seperate [sic] mediocre death/metalcore bands. But together they’re…well, they’re just awesome.” This is truth. Epic instru-metal.
• Dissipate: Quality brutal tech-death sent in by their drummer, Jeff.
• Eyeless: Another (1) talented French metal band… kind of Chimaira-y, maybe just a little bit more technical. Fitting then that Mark Hunter did some guest vocals on their new album; God Forbid’s Doc Coyle does a guest guitar solo, too. [Thanks: Djabthrash]

I love the end of the year. I mean, I hate the cold fucking weather, I hate the getting fucking dark outside early, I think the holidays are fucking retarded, New Year’s is a total fucking pain in the pass, and then starting in January no good movies come out for a least a month or two. So that all blows.

But the lists… Ah, the lists! So much arguing to be done over what is really just the opinion of one person or possibly a congregation of a few people! Behold as all the frail egos collapse under the need to have their opinion justified by someone they will never admit they perceive as “important” regardless of the fact that everyone eats and breathes and shits the same way! OH MY GOD, I HAVE SEEN THE MADNESS, AND THE MADNESS IS FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC.

So. We’re still more than a month away from publishing our own year-end lists here at MetalSucks, but by n0w all those big glossy analog blogs will have collected their staffs’ lists (’cause they gotta get that shit done way in advance, whereas us nerdonauts can procrastinate like we was gettin’ a one-time-only blow job from Bobbie Brown circa 1990), I know of at least one other blog with a looming deadline for all such lists, and now Metal Hammer has proclaimed that “Every day from now until Christmas, we will be revealing a different band/member of a band’s top albums of the year.”

You can see all the lists here. Musicians who have weighed in thus far include Lamb of God’s Chris Adler and Chimaira’s Mark Hunter. Hey, both those dudes were also cool enough to vote in our 21 albums poll! Awesome! So now you can go give Metal Hammer shit for a change.

-AR

Last night Vince and I hit up the Trivium/Chimaira/Whitechapel/Dirge Within show at Irving Plaza here in NYC. I will never ever get sick of watching Chimaira live. They have a forty-five minute set on this tour, and they really make the most of it by basically segueing directly from one song to the next with a minimum of on-stage banter, presumably in order to allow a maximum of brutality. To top it off, the set-list was pretty much perfect – they played at least one or two songs from each of their albums (This Present Darkness excluded), and not always they song(s) you’d expect, either. Definitely go check ‘em out!

Here they are doing “Severed” at the Download Festival in 2007. They played this song last night and the pit just went insane – I think this has to be the heaviest track on Pass Out of Existence, no?

-AR

Thanks to “Adam Adams” for sending the below preview footage from new Todd Bell-directed Chimaira DVD, which is set to be released in 2010. It’s the second preview we’ve gotten, after last week’s awesome footage of the band performing “The Disappearing Sun.” This time we get to see the band prepping just before they take the stage in Belgium, and then we get some “The Venom Inside” live footage. Nice.

Chimaira are on tour right now with Trivium, Whitechapel and Dirge Within; you can get dates here. Vince and I are going Thursday. It should go without saying that we’re very excited.

-AR

Today I want to talk about acrostics. For those of you who didn’t waste ridiculous amounts of money on a college English degree, an acrostic is when the first letter of each line of a text spell out a message. For example, below is an acrostic from lines 510-514 of book nine of John Milton’s epic poem, Paradise Lost:

Scipio the highth of Rome. With tract oblique
At first, as one who sought access, but feard
To interrupt, side-long he works his way.
As when a Ship by skilful Stearsman wrought
Nigh Rivers mouth or Foreland, where the Wind…

This is pretty neat, and, needless to say, it’s not a coincidence. Milton was a smart guy – he read himself blind, for crying out loud. And, of course, acrostics have been used in lots and lots of other pieces of literature.

The reason I bring this up is two-fold:

1. Yesterday former The Panic Channel vocalist/MTV VJ Steve Isaacs tweeted about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s veto of a California legislative finance bill. It seems that the Governator used an acrostic to tell the California State Assembly “FUCK YOU.” Take a look for yourself here.
2. I re-tweeted Isaacs’ tweet, which in turn lead to longtime reader Saul Hudson shooting me an e-mail pointing out an acrostic in the lyrics to the title track from Chimaira’s Resurrection (video above).

If you’re not familiar with Resurrection, here’s a little background you need for the acrostic to make sense: the album was the band’s first after their acrimonious (or at least semi-acrimonious) parting with Roadrunner Records, and the lyrics to said title track (example: “Free at least/Finally tasting happiness”) are generally accepted as being about the split.

With me so far? Okay. So here’s the acrostic from the song:

Click to read more…

There’s been so much awesome metal this year that even thinking about doing a 2009 “best of” list gives me so much agita that I have already devoted at least one and possibly three complete therapy sessions to the topic. But one album that I know has a reserved spot on that list: Chimaira’s The Infection. It came out in April and it’s still in my regular rotation, for crying out loud.

So. Videographer Todd Bell has been out on the road with the band this entire tour cycle working on what will be his forth totally excellent DVD for Chimaira, and now the band has decided to share a preview of what Bell has brewing. Per a statement on the band’s website:

We’re so excited about the footage we shot with Todd Bell for our new DVD release (due out in 2010) that we couldn’t wait to share it. Here is “The Disappearing Sun” live from Helsinki, Finland.

Here’s the clip. “The Disappearing Sun” is one of my favorite tracks of off The Infection, and it looks like it slays live:

The site also says that the group’s tenth annual Chimaira Christmas show, which will take place on December 27 at the Cleveland House of Blues, will be filmed for the DVD. I’ve given serious consideration to making my first visit to Cleveland for one of these shows every year for the past five years; maybe this is the year I finally get off my ass and do it.

-AR

Thanks to all my fellow infected Chimairacans who e-mailed me about this. And, yep, I just made up a word.