Seriously. Ever since Metal Hammer gave us that Web of Death thing, I’ve been knee-deep in pussy. Incredible. It’s amazing that I’m even able to type right now, I’m so worn out. And that’s why you start a website. For the groupies.

Which brings me to my next point: now that we’re famous, we don’t want to be friends with you anymore. Don’t take it personally, we just prefer to rub elbows with other fabulous, famous people. You were great on the way up, but now? Fuck you. M’kay?

Here’s what else went down this week:

• We spoke with Lacuna Coil’s Christina Scabbia, and managed to get through it without embarrassing ourselves too badly.
• Sigh’s Mirai Kawashima wrote another awesome guest blog from the studio, begging the question: is Dr. Mikannibal’s diet hot or not?
• The Haunted’s Peter Dolving lashed out against Lamb of God; you lashed out against Peter Dolving.
• NEW CONVERGE SONGS! NEW CONVERGE SONGS! NEW CONVERGE SONGS!
• Someone actually played IWRESTLEDABEARONCE’S “Tastes like Kevin Bacon” for Kevin fucking Bacon.
• How many Andrew WKs are there, anyway?

Alright. I’ve got like ten girls clawing at me right now, beckoning me back to bed. I’ll see you Monday, if they’ll give me a rest, already.

-AR

First of all, props to our boy Anso DF for successfully making it through his interview with Lacuna Coil’s Christina Scabbia without embarrassing himself or in any way giving Ms. Scabbia cause to get a restraining order (of course that’s part of the reason we had him do a phoner and not an in-person – but still). I’m fairly certain if Vince or I had conducted the interview, we’d be in prison right now.

Second of all, we’ve now heard LC’s new album, Shallow Life, and, hey!, guess what? It’s pretty darn good.

So. The band has made a new song, “Not Enough,” available for free download. So, y’know, enjoy that shit.

Lacuna Coil, “Not Enough” – Shallow Life (Century)

Shallow Life comes out April 20 in Europe and April 21 in the States on Century.

-AR

When you talk about Cristina Scabbia, bewitching singer of Italy’s Lacuna Coil, it’s tempting to devote poetic volumes to descriptions of her melodic acumen, intoxicating voice, and oppressive physical beauty. Even knowing all this, I was still able to be surprised by Scabbia’s effortless coolness: the reader has to imagine her expressing polite disagreement by gently raising the pitch of her voice, dismissing haters with venomless derision, and discoursing like someone casually thinking aloud. Conversely, picture the interviewer perplexed by feelings of sexual longing for his phone, from which Scabbia’s oddly musical speaking voice emanated. (It didn’t help that Scabbia thoughtlessly spoke of wanting more and more, improving your stuff, and getting squeezed in the studio.)

After some shared confusion regarding the difference between Arizona and New Mexico, Scabbia spoke with MetalSucks about her band’s new record Shallow Life (out April 21), boisterous busmates, touring with the melodic dudes of Disturbed, and why Lacuna Coil is a happy band. Check out their new video, “Spellbound,” above; then the full interview is after the jump.

Click to read more…

Thanks to our pal Anso at Hipsters Out of Metal! for noticing something we somehow completely missed: there’s a new Lacuna Coil single, “Spellbound.” It’s considerably more of a straight-forward hard rock track than we’ve heard from this band in the past… and I’m honestly not sure right now how I feel about that. One thing I do think (and I’m once again seconding Anso’s sentiments): not enough Christina Scabbia. Does anyone really think people listen to this band because of the other guy? Gimme a break.

Shallow Life, the new album from Christina Scabbia and some other dudes no one cares about, will be released on Century on April 21 (one day earlier in Europe).

-AR

Call it the Sarah Palin Effect: so much is already stacked against In This Moment (a metalcore band two to three years after metalcore flickered out with an incredibly attractive frontwoman equipped with a ridiculously provocative sense of fashion) that the bar is set almost comedicaly low. But much like struggling to answer simple follow-up questions during one of your first televised national interviews, any slight hint of competency already exceeds expectations, and by many, will be perceived a victory. I wouldn’t call The Dream, the band’s latest album, a victory by any means, but considering the flaccidity of the genre in which it exists, they manage to ascend from “Why do bands like this still make music?” to “Not that bad, really,” with relative ease. Though by no means a classic, it wobbles between lame metalcore and admirable pop-rock somewhat effortlessly to maybe work their way onto the guilty pleasure heap – no small achievement when considering the ocean of sneers and venom already directed their way before playing a note.

Click to read more…

Last night I heard the “new” Vader album, XXV, for the first time. In case you’re not hip to this release, it’s the Polish death metal masters’ 25th anniversary album, and is basically a greatest hits compilation – except that all the songs have been re-recorded with the band’s current line-up. Which, naturally, means that late drummer Krzysztof “Doc” Raczkowski appears nowhere on the album (or, at least, not in the audio content – I still don’t have a copy of the DVD which will accompany the disc’s release).

Of course, Vader aren’t the first band to embark upon such an endeavor. Living Colour, Twisted Sister, and even The Sex Pistols have all re-recorded some of their old songs for purpose of being able to license them without having to share the wealth with their former record labels, which is a brutal, and brutally honest, reason to re-visit your old catalogue. Dave Mustaine re-recorded “A Tout Le Monde” as a duet with Cristina Scabbia just last year; Anthrax re-recorded a bunch of old Joey Belladonna tunes with John Bush for their Greater of Two Evils* collection; hell, Dimmu Borgir re-recorded their entire album Stormblast because they were so unhappy with the original, and as I understand it, it’s only by the grace of God that we don’t have Appetite for Destruction 2000, featuring Axl Rose’s “revamped” GN’R in place of the original (although a half of a re-recorded “Sweet Child O’Mine” does roll over the closing credits of the Adam Sandler vehicle Big Daddy).

What, one has to wonder, is the point of re-recording all the band’s old songs?

Click to read more…

FUCK SCOTT WEILAND. I’m glad you’ve been able to get this far based on your limited vocal range and ability to mimic the same style of on-stage dancing that Bowie and Iggy Pop were doing thirty years ago, but seriously, stop trying to compete with Axl Rose for the “Biggest Asshole” award – Axl will beat your ass every time. Calling Slash by his real name in a press release does not make you clever. Claiming the name “Velvet Revolver” was your idea does not make you cool. You’ve always had to suck off the musical talent teat of others, and every time I think about the fact that Layne Staley couldn’t get it together while you go on and on and on I die a little inside. I hope the DeLeo brothers stab you in the eyes with your fucking needles. And fuck your wife Mary, too.

FUCK ROBB FLYNN. I’m a huge Machine Head fan, but telling people that you “once punched some kid in the face for saying that Gary Holt sucked” is moronic. Metal is supposed to be about blowing off steam in a healthy way so as to avoid actual neanderthal behavior. There are plenty of legitimate reasons to fight in this world, but someone insulting the fucking guitar player from Exodus is not one of them. Put more simply: You either a) actually did punch some dude for talking shit about Holt and are therefore a bona fide moron or b) are lying about punching some dude for talking shit about Holt and are therefore a bona fide moron. Also, every Machine Head album in-between Burn My Eyes and Through the Ashes of Empires was a cock sucking trend chasing waste of time. Deal with it.

FUCK MARIA BRINK. Someone told me that if you see her up close she’s not actually hot, but after looking closely at some candid photos (like this one), I realized you don’t really have to be very close to her all to see that she looks like a fucking rodent. Has this bitch had too much plastic surgery (excuse me, “work done”), or does she really just look  like my morning crap? Also, did you know that she sells hand drawn pictures and poems on her MySpace page (I won’t link to it, go find it if you’re so fucking interested)? I haven’t read the poems but the pictures look like they were drawn by a retarded five year old. Stop wearing that stupid blue dress and trying to exploit your non-existent looks to cover up for your lack of talent. I hope Christina Scabbia kicks you in the twat.

Fuck me for writing this, and fuck you for reading it. I’m gonna go kill a fucking bunny that made fun of Alex Skolnick.

-AR

Boy, Cristina Scabbia is lucky she’s so hot. ‘Cause her stage presence is super-cheesy. And I say that as someone who actually likes Lacuna Coil.

ANYWAY, the best part of the below footage of Scabbia joining Megadeth on stage last night for a rendition of “A Tout Le Monde” is the fact that her vocals are practically non-existant in the mix. At first I thought maybe it was just the shitty audio quality of this fan-made video, but no; you can hear almost everything else perfectly, just not Scabbia.

I guess Dave likes to stand near hot women, so long as they don’t make a peep. He’s not exactly alone in that regard.

[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/wdCG_cYYvCg" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

-AR