I don’t know who you are, Stefanie Heinzmann, but give yourself a big ol’ pat on the back. You’ve managed to make Avril Lavigne look like Chuck Schulinder. I’d rather listen to Attack Attack! cover Katy Perry, fer Chrissakes.

I’m saying this sucks.

MS Maniac Charlie Famer sent this to us, and claims that it was a big hit in Switzerland last year. Assuming that’s true, I’d just like to take this moment to say suck it, Switzerland.

-AR

1. The box office success of Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Doesn’t it seem like this movie should just be some kind of Darwinian trick – like anyone who buys a ticket is automatically deemed too stupid to live and is consequently immediately shot in the head?
2. The virus-like spreading of the Valley Girl accent to women all across America. This is why the terrorists hate us. These women’s tubes should be involuntarily tied (with no anesthesia) to prevent the furthering of their wretched species.
3. Fucktards who think it’s okay to hold the fucking elevator fucking door and have a conversation with a friend when there are other people on the elevator who presumably want to get wherever they’re going. I think I should be allowed to kill their families while they watch.
4. This asshole. His point is…?
5. Anyone not loving Death. ‘Nuff said.
   

-AR