MetalSucks

Sorry there was no logo last week, everyone. Those technical issues made doing one seem kinda pointless.

ANYWAY, congratulations to Sara Glass, Craig Gellman, Josh Dechter, Jonah Siller and Pete Vasquez. They all correctly identified the last logo as belonging to the band Goremonger. Each of these lucky men (and lady) win an autographed New York Dolls One Day it Will Please Us to Remember Even This CD booklet. That’s pretty bad-assed.

Didn’t win last time? Don’t cry – we’ve got five more booklets to give away this week. Please note that we’re not giving away any copies of the actual One Day it Will Please Us… CD. Still, that shouldn’t bother you ’cause a) it’s been out for awhile and hopefully you already own it and b) this prize is so fucking cool in and of itself.

All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail with your answer, your name and address at axl [at] metalsucks.net. We’ll randomly select five winners from everyone who gets it right, and announce his or her names next week.

Good luck, everyone…

-AR

Big, big, BIG props to MetalSucks Maniac Barb Crompton, who was literally the only person to correctly identify last week’s logo as belonging to the charmingly named Diarrhea Humiliation. Barb wins Dream Theater’s amazing Chaos in Motion 2007 – 2008 five disc DVD/CD. It’s gonna blow your mind and make you see the world in a whole new light, Barb.

This week the super fantastic peeps at Roadrunner Records have given us five autographed New York Dolls One Day it Will Please Us to Remember Even This CD booklets. Please note that we’re not giving away any copies of the actual One Day it Will Please Us… CD. Still, that shouldn’t bother you ’cause a) it’s been out for awhile and hopefully you already own it and b) this prize is so fucking cool in and of itself.

All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail with your answer, your name and address at axl [at] metalsucks.net. We’ll randomly select five winners from everyone who gets it right, and announce his or her names next week.

Good luck, everyone…

-AR

Congrats to MetalSucks Maniacs Michael Greenberg and Andrew Neil, who correctly identified the final unreadable band logo of 2008 as belonging to the band Natan. They each win a poster signed by Within Temptation. Those should look pretty bad assed on your walls, fellas!

We’re kickin’ the new year off right with this week’s unreadable band logo: the upstanding young men and women at Roadrunner Records have supplied us with a copy of Dream Theater’s Chaos in Motion 2007 – 2008 DVD/CD collection to give away. This is a five – count ‘em, five! – disc super deluxe collector’s edition that features two DVDs with over three hours of live performances, plus behind-the-scenes documentaries, music videos, and live screen projection films, PLUS three live audio CDs. In short: this is a must own for Dream Theater fans.

All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail with your answer, your name and address at axl [at] metalsucks.net. We’ll randomly select a winner from everyone who gets it right, and announce his or her name next week.

Because the prize is so awesome, I tried to find the hardest logo available for this week. Just remember: the answer will never, ever, under any circumstances, be Slipknot, Korn, or Atreyu. Never ever never.

-AR

Congrats to Gary Carlson, Christine Paustian, Reece Eargle and Ilona Adamiec. They each correctly identified last week’s logo as belonging to the band Temnozor, and they each win an autographed copy of the CD booklet for Opeth’s Watershed. That’s gotta be one of the coolest prizes we’ve ever given away here at MetalSucks, and I hope they all relish it!

This week the party animals at Roadrunner Records have graced us with two, count ‘em two, autographehd Within Temptation posters. Within Temptation are symphonic metal at its finest, so I know y’all want one of these to hang on your wall!

All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail with your answer, your name and address at axl [at] metalsucks.net. We’ll randomly select two winners from everyone who gets it right, and announce his or her names next week. This is the last unreadable band logo contest for 2008, so get on top of that shit!

Thanks to MetalSucks Manica Mike Novak for suggesting this week’s logo. ‘Preciate it.

-AR

Horns up for Cody Rackley, the very lucky MetalSucks Maniac who correctly identified last week’s logo as belonging to Antaeus. Cody wins a copy of the totally bitching Roadrunner United: The Concert DVD, which you’d have to be a total ‘tard not to enjoy. If you didn’t win, don’t weep: the DVD hits stores today, and is totally worth your hard earned moolah.

This week we have a super duper awesome amazing prize, courtesy the super duper awesome amazing people at Roadrunner: four autographed Opeth Watershed CD booklets, signed by all four members of the band. Please note that we’re not giving away any copies of the actual Watershed CD. Still, that shouldn’t bother you ’cause a) it’s been out for months and hopefully you already own it and b) this prize is so fucking cool in and of itself.

All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail with your answer, your name and address at axl [at] metalsucks.net. We’ll randomly select four winners from everyone who gets it right, and announce his or her names next week.

Thanks to longtime MetalSucks Maniac Mark Moritz-Rabson for supplying this week’s logo.

-AR

Well, one thing is clear about last week’s logo: the words “of blood” were easily readable to pretty much everyone. Unfortunately, a whole lot of you guessed that the band’s name was “Cave of Blood” or “Cake of Blood” or, my personal favorite, “7 Inches of Blood,” which I guess would be the band that is approximately 133.3% bloodier than 3 Inches of Blood.

ANYWAY, the band is actually called “Lake of Blood,” and for answering correctly, the following MetalSucks Maniacs each win a free copy of Cradle of Filth’s Godspeed on the Devil’s Thunder: Keith Carbaugh, Alexander Lesskis, Anna Brenner, Theresa Reuschle, and Kirsten Hogenson. Congrats, kiddies! These should make good stocking stuffers for the toddler in your life.

This week the bloodthirsty bastards at Roadrunner Records have supplied with a copy of the Roadrunner United: The Concert DVD to give away. If you don’t know what this is, it was a concert that Roadrunner threw back in ‘05 to celebrate their anniversary, and basically every awesome metal musician who has ever been on Roadrunner showed up to play some classic tunes. In other words, not owning this DVD is like turning in your “metal cred” card.

I’ve been excited about this DVD since its release was first announced in October and now that I’ve finally seen it, I can tell you it kicks some pretty major ass (stay tuned for my official review). All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail with your answer, your name and address at axl [at] metalsucks.net. We’ll randomly select one winner from everyone who gets it right, and announce his or her name next week. And don’t get suicidal if you don’t win; the DVD hits stores next Tuesday, December 9.

Thanks to longtime MetalSucks Maniac Mark Moritz-Rabson for supplying this week’s logo. Once again, the answer is neither Slipknot, nor Atreyu, nor Korn. Nor any band that has ever been signed to Roadrunner.

-AR

Congrats to Derek Allen, Brian Csogi, Mike Greenberg, Tony Cordone and Sarah Dot, all of whom correctly identified last week’s logo as belonging to the band Morgue Whore. They each win a copy of Cradle of Filth’s pederastastic new album, Godspeed on the Devil’s Thunder. Enjoy that shit, boys and ghouls.

If you didn’t win last week, don’t slit your wrists just yet: the filthy (get it?) men and women of Roadrunner Records have donated another five copies of COF’s latest opus to give away this week. All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail with your answer, your name and address at axl [at] metalsucks.net. We’ll randomly select five winners from everyone who gets it right, and announce his or her names next week.

Here’s a hint: the answer isn’t Korn, nor Slipknot, nor Atreyu, nor any other band that has ever played Ozzfest before. Good luck!

-AR

The lesson of last week’s contest: you guys aren’t the least bit interested in competing for non-metal albums. I’m embarrassed to say that the Biffy Clyro giveaway was our least successful ever, which sucks, ’cause Biffy Clyro are awesome. Luckily, exactly two of you – McCaleb Burnett and Cutter Horne – correctly identified the logo as belonging to Consumed Regurgative. Enjoy those copies of BC’s Puzzle, dudes, ’cause it’s really, really friggin’ good.

(Side note: someone entered the contest and not only got the answer wrong, but sent me a link to the CORRECT MySpace page to try and prove they were right. How someone gets the cojones to try and argue about a band’s name whilst looking at the band’s own MySpace page is totally beyond me.)

This week, the cats n’ kittens at Roadrunner have supplied with five copies of Cradle of Filth’s new album, Godspeed on the Devil’s Thunder, to give away. The album is, in Dani Filth’s words, a “dark fairytale” about a peer of Joan of Arc’s who sexually molested and murdered an unfathomable number of little boys and girls (but mostly boys)… HOWEVER, since it’s a fairytale, it’s fun for the whole family. Your kids will love it. Enter the contest.

All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail with your answer, your name and address at axl [at] metalsucks.net. We’ll randomly select five winners from everyone who gets it right, and announce his or her names next week. For reasons beyond my control, I had to use this band’s entire poster – obviously, you shouldn’t be making any attempts to read the illustration below the band name.

Good luck, and good night.

-AR

Tomorrow we may or may or not put a woman in the White House for the first time, but here at MetalSucks, we’ve had our own breakthrough moment in the fight for women’s lib: for the first time ever, all five of the winners for last week’s contest are female. Their names are Elizabeth Berthelot, Miranda Baker, Stacey Watrobski, Vanessa Bond and Samantha LaRocque, and from this moment forth, let history know them as “The Slipknot Five.” They are women, hear them roar. And since I’ve never had a girlfriend who was actually into metal, I’m hoping at least one them e-mails me with a marriage proposal. Fingers crossed.

And, oh yeah, the correct answer for last week’s logo was Fleshrot. Not Fleshbot and certainly not Slipknot, as many of you guessed. Suckas.

This week the fine ladies and men who work with fine ladies at Roadrunner Records have donated a vinyl single of The Cult’s “Dirty Little Rockstar” to give away. It’s The Cult! It’s vinyl! What else could you want?

All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail with your answer, your name and address at axl [at] metalsucks.net. We’ll randomly select a winner from everyone who gets it right, and announce his or her name next week.

Because this week’s prize is so super-duper special, I’ve selected an incredibly hard logo for this week. Here’s a hint: it’s not Slipknot.

-AR

I’m having a shit day so I’ll make this fast: last week’s logo belonged to a band called Innocents Massacre. Not “Innocent Massacre” or “Innocents Massacred,” as many of you guessed. So Tracy Smith, Erin Harris, Mike Lang and Alex Christensen win our last (at least for now) four copies of Trivium’s Shogun. You who spawned the furies, enjoy.

This week, the masked marauders at Roadrunner have donated five copies of Slipknot’s latest, All Hope is Gone, for us to give away. It’s Slipknot. They’re one of the most successful metal bands in the world. ‘Nuff said.

All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail with your answer, your name and address at axl [at] metalsucks.net. We’ll randomly select four winners from everyone who gets it right, and announce his or her names next week.

I’d wish you good luck, but this week’s logo is so fucktardedly easy I might as well be giving these CDs away. Oh, wait…

-AR

Last week was by far our most popular Completely Unreadable Band Logo contest ever – I assume because so many of you want a free copy of the exxxxxxxcellent new Trivium album, Shogun (read Vince’s review here). And lots and lots and lots and lots of you guessed that the name of the band was Blasphemy,

Unfortunately, it’s actually Blasphetized.

So here are the names of five people who correctly identified the band logo and have consequently won themselves five free n’ shiney copies of Shogun: Jessica Southers, Matt Magnotta, Christian Caberto, Patricia Bandelin, and Cat Schwambach. Into the mouth of hell you march, ladies and gents.

If you didn’t win last week, no need to cry: the mensches and menchettes over at Roadrunner have supplied us with four more copies of Shogun to give away this week. All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail with your answer, your name and address at axl [at] metalsucks.net. We’ll randomly select five winners from everyone who gets it right, and announce his or her names next week.

This week’s logo was suggested by MetalSucks Maniac Thomas Baker. You guys know I love it when you do my job for me, so if you a logo you think we should use, send it along!

-AR

Hats off and horns up for Nika Shilobod, who correctly identified last week’s logo as belonging to Gravestorm. Nika wins a super-sweet limited edition copy of Soulfly’s self-titled  debut. Niiiiiiiiiice.

This week the metal masters at Roadrunner have given us five, count ‘em five, copies of Trivium’s new album, Shogun, to bestow upon you, the MetalSucks Maniacs. This is one of the most anticipated metal releases of the year and we happen to think it’s pretty awesome (check out Vince’s review here). So now’s a chance to get a copy for FREE!!!

All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail with your answer, your name and address at axl [at] metalsucks.net. We’ll randomly select five winners from everyone who gets it right, and announce his or her names next week.

This week’s logo ain’t all that hard, so try not to fuck it up!!!

-AR

Sorry we didn’t do one of these last week. Shit happens.

The logo from two weeks ago belongs to the clever wordsmiths in the band Dickless Tracy, and apparently that was pretty easy for a lot of you to figure out. (Although I did appreciate the entry from the dude who guessed it was “Pickles Tracy.” That’s a much better name for a band.) But I only have six copies of The Best of Spineshank to give away and the luck of the draw tells me that they’re going to Christopher Yeagle, Adam Riley, Izan Lewis, Tony Rice, Martin Chavez, and Alan Brenner. Hope you enjoy the free CDs, my friends.

This week the extreme people over Roadrunner Records have donated a limited edition copy of Max Cavalera’s self-titled Soulfly debut. It comes with a sexy black cover and some bonus tracks that weren’t on the original album, so it’s pretty much a most-own for the Cavalera faithful.

All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail with your answer, your name and address at axl [at] metalsucks.net. We’ll randomly select one winner from everyone who gets it right, and announce his or her names next Monday.

I think this week’s logo is a little harder than the last one, but I know y’all love a challenge, so have at it!

-AR

Sorry I’m late on this one. My bad.

ANYWAY, last week’s logo belonged to Bahimiron, and for correctly recognizing that, MetalSucks Maniacs Chad Larsen, Stephnie Andreassen, Joshua Ray Jacobs(a second time winner!), Mike Meyer and Dorian Pape all win copies of The Best of Obituary. I hope it brings them all hours and hours of headbanging joy.

This week the metal mo’fos over at Roadrunner have given us six copies of The Best of Spineshank to share with you folks. Spineshank just announced that they’re reuniting, so here’s your chance to brush up on their back catalog.

All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail with your answer, your name and address at axl [at] metalsucks.net. We’ll randomly select six winners from everyone who gets it right, and announce their names next Monday. Good luck!

-AR

The following MetalSucks Maniacs all correctly identified last week’s logo as belonging to black metallers Krallica, and earn a free copy of The Best of Suffocation for their troubles: Tim Young, Matt Nelson, Brian Cartan, Mike Hanson, and Phil Plancner. I hope the album brings you hours and hours of joy, or, at the very least, provides you with a fitting soundtrack for when you finally snap and kill your parents/girlfriend/teacher/pet/whatever. Bonus points if any of you are still virgins and manage to lose said virginity while a Suffocation track is blasting in the background. It’ll be your first time, so I recommend one of the shorter ones, like “Jesus Wept,” maybe.

Speaking of deflowerings, the notorious cherry poppers at Roadrunner Records have given us five copies of The Best of Obituary to give away this week. Since the Floridian metal titans (Sorry, I’m practicing for the day when I can write for Blabbermouth) have a new EP coming out tomorrow, this seems like a good time to freshen up on the music that made the band so legendary in the first place. And, if for some reason you don’t already know Obituary, well, shame on you and here’s your chance to learn a lil’ sumpin’ sumpin’.

All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail with your answer, your name and address at axl [at] metalsucks.net. Some of you have been sending in answers without your name and address, and, well, not to toot my own horn, but I get hundreds of entries for this dang contest every week, so if you don’t includine your name and addy, I’m gonna junk your entry immediately. You’re warned.

We’ll randomly select five winners from everyone who gets it right, and announce their names next Monday. And if you don’t win, well, look at this way: it’s only your dignity.

-AR

Well, I wanted to try and make last week’s logo a little easier, and I guess I succeeded, ’cause a whole bunch of you correctly identified said logo as belonging to the band Bazzah. Unfortunately, there can be only four winners, and the luck of the draw tells me they’re Doug Gross, Jack Smock, Nathan Griggs and Joshua Ray Jacobs. Each of these lucky bastards wins a copy of Cavalera Conspiracy’s Infliked. Be envious.

This week, the noble men and women at Roadrunner Records have donated five copies of The Best of Suffocation for us to give away. Vince, Kip, Anton OyVey and I all just saw NYC’s own Suffocation open for Carcass on Saturday night, and almost two decades since their debut, they still fucking kill it, and Frank Mullen is still one of the funniest motherfuckers ever to front a br00tal death metal band. If you’re just breaking into the world of metal, here’s a great primer on a great band, and if you already love Suffocation, well, here’s your chance to be a completist.

All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail with your answer, your name and address at axl [at] metalsucks.net. We’ll randomly select four winners from everyone who gets it right, and announce their names next Monday.

The bad news is that this week’s logo is fucking hard, and the good news is that this band has a new album out, so more enterprising readers should be able to figure it out. Good luck…

-AR

Wow. You guys suck. I really didn’t think that last week’s logo, for the band Blood Legion, was all that hard – but a whopping one of you, Steve Mariscal, got the right answer (We got a lot of entries for “Blood Witch” and “Witch Legion.” I don’t really see the word “witch” in there, but c’est la vie.).

So. Steve wins a copy of Cavalera Conspiracy’s Inflikted, courtesy of the fine folks at Roadrunner Records. But that means I still have FOUR copies of this awesome album to give away! All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail with your answer, your name and address at axl [at] metalsucks.net. We’ll randomly select four winners from everyone who gets it right, and announce their names next Monday.

I deliberately selected a fairly easy logo this week, ’cause I wanna unload these puppies. Seriously, you’re making Max Cavalera so sad he just told me he’s gonna collaborate with Jonathan Davis again. Not cool, guys! NOT COOL!

-AR

I guess that last week’s logo, for the band Inhuman Sacrifice, was too easy, ’cause like 98% of everyone who wrote it got it right. Alas, there can be only two winners, and the luck of the draw tells me it’s Malcolm Monds and Ashley Culp. Congrats, kiddies, ya each won a free copy of Black Stone Cherry’s new album, Folklore and Superstition. Hope ya’ll enjoy it.

This week’s logo, which was submitted by an anonymous reader, is a bit tougher, but we have a cool prize: our last five copies of Cavalera Conspiracy’s excellent debut, Inflikted, courtesy the party animals at Roadrunner Records.

All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail with your answer, your name and address at axl [at] metalsucks.net. We’ll randomly select five winners from everyone who gets it right, and announce their names next Monday.

Ready… set… go!

-AR

Well well well. I knew last week’s logo was pretty hard, but I thought some of you mo’fo’s would pull through. Alas, only two MetalSucks Maniacs, Jason McFarlane and Brandon Kirby, correctly identified the logo as belonging to the outfit known as Satan’s Revenge on Mankind. Jason and Brandon each win a copy of Blackstone Cherry’s new album, Folklore and Superstition, which comes out tomorrow on Roadrunner Records.

But I had four copies of this new disc to give away, which means I still have two left! All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail with your answer, your name and address at axl [at] metalsucks.net. We’ll randomly select two winners from everyone who gets it right, and announce their names next Monday.

This week’s logo is the first one ever submitted by a member of the band itself. I obviously can’t tell you his name until next week because then you could just seek the band out that way, but thanks, brutha… you know who are…

-AR

MetalSucks Maniac Meghan Rafferty was literally the only person to correctly identify last week’s logo as belonging to Floridian grindcorers Nespithe, so she wins not one but TWO Sepultura albums, Against and Nation, on a single awesome disc. Jam out with your clam out, Meghan.

This week those sexy beasts over at Roadrunner have supplied us with no one, not two, not three, but FOUR copies of Blackstone Cherry’s new album, Folklore and Superstition, to give away. This album doesn’t even hit stores ’til August 19, so if ya forgot to pre-order your copy, well, here’s a chance to win one for free!

All you have to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail with your answer, your name and address at axl [at] metalsucks.net. We’ll randomly select four winners from everyone who gets it right, and announce their names next Monday.

This week’s logo was recommended by a reader who chose not to include his or her name in the e-mail. So, um, whomever you are, thanks for making my life a little easier! It’s a hard one this week, so I’ll give you a hint: the band’s name has four words in it. Good luck…

-AR