“Scheduling has been a nightmare for a long time,” says guitarist Rob Caggiano about Temple Of The Black Moon. That seems like hyperbole, but gosh maybe not: TotBM drummer John Tempesta has been dashing between The Cult and Testament tours; singer Dani Filth’s full time job is Cradle Of Filth; Caggiano is bound to Anthrax’s rigorous itinerary, and his TotBM writing partner, Tom Cato Visnes, has been involved with Sahg, I, Gorgoroth, and Ov Hell outings in just the last five years.

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Horns up for readers Alexander Delvecchio, Laura Wells, and Ryan Gnieski; they each identified last week’s logo as belonging to the band Cronical Diarreha, and for their troubles, they each win a copy of  The Distant, the new album from Archaios. Congrats, guys and gal!

This week, we have another awesome prize to give away, this time courtesy of the good folks at Nuclear Blast Records: a copy of Evermore Darkly, the latest release from the UK’s premier extreme metal antagonist, Cradle Of Filth (web page, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter). This CD/DVD collection features a brand new track, “Thank Your Lucky Stars,” a special remix of “Forgive Me Father” by Anthrax’s Rob Caggiano,  an extended rendition of “Lilith Immaculate,” tempered demo versions of three Darkly, Darkly, Venus Aversa songs, a special taster from Cradle Of Filth’s impending orchestral project  in the form of a reworking of fan-favorite, “Summer Dying Fast,” PLUS a documentary about CoF’s Summer 2011 tour, cheerily entitled You Can’t Polish a Turd… But You Can Roll it in Glitter, which includes band interviews, live performances, and all that good stuff. Pretty sweet, no? You can order the collection from Nuclear Blast, Amazon, or iTunes, or, of course, just enter this contest and pray to The Dark Lord that you win!

All you gots to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail at axl AT metalsucks DOT net with your answer, your name, and your address. ALL ENTRIES WITHOUT AN ADDRESS WILL BE DISQUALIFIED. From everyone who gets it right, we’ll randomly select three winners and announce their names a week from today.

This week’s logo was suggested by the current Unreadable Band Logo Suggester MVP, Cody Long…

-AR

Last week was a slow one for new releases, but don’t worry, this week’s slate is a bit more impressive so next week’s Soundscam column should be a bit more exciting. This week Suckanescence and Five Finger Death Suck grabbed the respective #1 and #2 spots on the Current Hard Music charts once again by a long shot, even with 69% and 68% Week 2 declines; it’s gonna be a while before those go anywhere, and this week’s #3 isn’t exactly going to please headbangers either. But Iced Earth’s first album with new vocalist Stu Block grabbed the #4 spot, while Cradle of Filth, Insomnium and Evile all made it into the top 100.

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New releases from Iced Earth, Insomnium, Electro Quarterstaff, Evile and Puscifer top this week’s list of new face-melters, while a b-sides / re-imaginings compilation from Cradle of Filth might actually be the week’s biggest new record. As usual, all of these are available at Amazon for less than you’ll find them at most other places. We take a look at the above releases and more after the jump:

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In an apparent effort to redeem bass players for their transgressions throughout this week, Madball four-stringer Hoya Roc has posted the above photo, which is apparently Dani Filth being restrained by a security guard at France’s recent L’ez Arts Sceniques Festival, although it’s not a good photo so who knows.

Roc also posted a comment with the pic, which suggests he hates CoF as much as some of you guys do: “When metal fantasy goes wrong!! Haha cradle of filth singer gettin yoked up by security.” Alas, Roc does not say what Filth did to provoke the guard. Still, I’m sure this will bring some of you a little joy.

-AR

[via The PRP]

Yay, Vince is back! And guess what? Now it’s my turn to take a vacation! I haven’t had once since the summer of 2006, about six months before we started the site. So, yeah, I’m looking forward to getting away. Try not to miss me too much, m’kay?

And, oh yeah, it’s July 4 weekend, so we’re leaving early today and won’t be here Monday. That might be worth mentioning for non-American readers.

ANYWAY, here’s what we did this week:

• We debuted new music by Exhumed.
• Landphil from Municipal Waste and Cannabis Corpse pondered the CM Punk WWE Raw “shoot.”
• Our pals at Decibel spoke to the members of Cradle of Filth about about their album The Principle of Evil Made Flesh.
• We wondered why teenagers are still butthurt about Hot Topic in 2011.
• We celebrated the Stephen Colbert/Ted Nugent showdown.
• We checked out the first Portnoy-free Dream Theater song.
• We enjoyed some lulz at the expense of Staind and their record label.
• We bemoaned the fact that Behemoth’s Nergal is back on trial for tearin’ up a Bible.
• We celebrated the gloriousness that is the new Mastodon video.
• Best. “Show Us Your MetalSucks.” EVER.

And now it’s time to start partying. Lates.

-AR

Before there were blogs there were these things called magazines, and the only metal magazine we still get excited about reading every month is Decibel. Here’s managing editor Andrew Bonazelli…

Say what you will about Cradle of Filth — and I’m sure there will be plenty in the comments below — but they’re responsible for one of the greatest t-shirts of all time. You know the one: topless nun fingering herself on front, massive all-caps “JESUS IS A CUNT” unmistakably stamped on the back. I have fond memories of goth kids shuffling around the mall in the mid-’90s wearing that thing, about to get thrown out by security, and thinking, “Hmmm… not quite as thought-provoking as my ‘9 out of 10 kids prefer crayons to guns’ Pearl Jam shirt, but intriguing nonetheless!”

The accompanying record, of course, was The Principle of Evil Made Flesh, and this month it’s a Decibel Hall of Fame inductee. Other than seeing them live at Download four years ago and laughing for like an hour straight, I don’t have anything productive to add about this band. So, I’ll leave you with not only some outtake action, courtesy of scribe Chris Dick, but a trivia question that will not result in you winning a shirt or subscription: What current Decibel writer is a former member of Cradle of Filth?

And here’s your bonus footage:

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The prize for last week’s photo caption contest was a doozy; an Ozzy boxset including reissues of Diary of a Madman and Blizzard of Ozz on both CD and vinyl, plus a full-color book and other goodies. Too bad most of the comment submissions weren’t funny at all. Here’s the best I could find:

• Steve Flynn: “Apparently there was a misunderstanding after a group of ‘extreme metal extremists’ suggested avenging Dimebag’s death by shooting Eminem.”

Congrats, Steve, for excelling at being almost funny.

I’ve had this signed picture-disc vinyl of Cradle of Filth’s Thornographic sitting around the Vince Division of the Mansion for some time, and it’s just begging to be given away! So you know how we do: leave a comment with the funniest caption to the photo below (sent in by loyal MS reader Century Media). Remember to use a real email address (or post it with your comment if you’re using FB Connect).

Say, are you one of the three people in the world who not only thought that metal needed another supergroup, but also thought that metal needed another supergroup featuring Anthrax/The Damned Things guitarist Rob Caggiano? If so, have we got a band for you!

They’re called Temple of the Black Moon, and in addition to Caggiano, the group features Cradle of Filth vocalist Dani Filth, former Gorgoroth bassist King ov Hell, and drummer John Tempesta, who has played a gajillion different bands, including both White Zombie and Rob Zombie’s solo group, Exodus, Testament, The Cult, and Helmet. It seems safe to assume that Caggiano played a significant role in putting this project together — not only did he produce two Cradle of Filth releases (2004′s Nymphetamine and 2006′s Thornography), but Tempesta has also worked as a drum tech for ‘Thrax — but between the two bands he’s already in and the producing he does, I can’t believe he felt like he had too much free time. Maybe Worship Music is seriously never coming out.

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It’s Alyssa Lorenzon for the win… again! This time the MetalSucks Goddess of Photography captured some killer pics of Cradle of Filth, Nachtmystium, and Turisas when they played the Starland Ballroom in New Jersey earlier this month. As always, Alyssa’s photos will make you feel like you were at the show, even if — sad for you! — you weren’t. Check ‘em out after the jump…

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The first time I ever heard Cradle of Filth, it was 2000 and I’d been sent an advance of Midian. I remember being majoring pumped after first jam “Cthulhu Dawn” but um that was it. I was in Yawnsville starting with the next song and ending … well, let’s just say I had to buy a residence in Yawnsville to accommodate my visits with Cradle of Filth. But that first jam is still in my head all the time, especially when I watch Ricky Gervais’ original version of The Office during which I go all goo-goo for the charming, cuddly, snuggly, lovelorn Dawn Tinsley (above), played by Lucy Davis (Shaun of the Dead). She’s incredible! So you can easily understand why “Cthulhu Dawn” started blaring in my brain the very instant that I read the motherfucking news that Davis is single! From The Daily Mail:

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I guess this guy Nardwuar is old news to Canadians, but I’d somehow never been privy to his shenanigans until reader Jason Bang sent us a bunch of his work a few weeks back.

And boy am I sorry, because I’d been missing out; this guy is like the OG troller, before trolling was trolling, before Sergeant D was Sergeant D, and loooooong before Ziltoid decided to make a Devin Townsend character his handle and infuriate the MS masses with his fuzzy purple hair. Pure genius. Watch as he toys with Slipknot’s Clown — who, to his credit, hangs in for most of the interviews — and frustrates #3 into leaving the set:

Brilliant. Higgins, one of the chief MS Mansion Monkeys, is jumping up and down right now and going “Oooooo. ooo. Ahhhh!” which is monkey-speak for “There’s an open position at the Vancouver Bureau of MetalSucks International if this Nardwuar guy is looking for a job.” So, uh, Nardwuar, waddayasay?

After the jump, watch Nardwuar troll Dani from Cradle of Filth, then watch him troll Steel Panther while Steel Panther troll him right back:

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While most new releases have trailed off into Christmas Music oblivion, there were still a few notable new metal albums trickling in last week. After the jump, a look at the meaningless sales numbers generated by new ones from After the Burial, Metallica, The Chariot and Yngwie Malmsteen with a look at a few other charting releases as well (take a look at the tags below if you wanna know who). Snarky commentary included, natch.

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This song gets stuck in my head at least twice a year. I don’t know why.

So yeterday Cradle of Filth announced a North American headlining tour in support of their new album, Darkly, Darkly, Venus Aversa, and people seem to be put-off by the support acts — namely Nachtmystium and Turisas (Daniel Lioneye are also on the bill, but for whatever reason, no one seems to be put off by that). Longtime MetalSucks Mega-Maniac Shinaain writes, “I was little taken aback… Should I be?” Reader Stephen Parker, meanwhile, cries out “WHY!?” MS columnist Nocturno Cultowitz, after disappearing for weeks and weeks without response to any of our e-mails, actually called me to predict that either Blake Judd would murder Dani Filth by the conclusion of the tour, or otherwise Nachtmystium would be kicked-off the tour for attempting to murder Dani Filth.

But I think you guys are looking at this at all wrong. Cradle of Filth are a gateway band! And the kids at their shows are highly likely inclined to enjoy a) some form of black metal, and b) bands with a certain theatrical flair. Well, Nachtmystium meets one of those criteria, and Turisas meet the other. Will Nachtmystium go over CoF fans’ heads? I honestly don’t know. Cradlers (or whatever the fuck they call themselves) might be really open to a song like “No Funeral” in a way that some tr00 kvltists have not been. And I think they’ll eat Turisas up. So one way or the other, I imagine that opening for CoF will garner both Nachtmystium and Turisas at least some new fans. And at the end of the day, isn’t that a good thing? Don’t we want awesome music to reach as many ears as possible? It’s not like they’re opening for Limp Bizkit or ICP or whatever.

Dates after the jump, courtesy SMN.

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In case you can’t tell by all the posting I’ve been doing about the soundtrack, I really wanna see The Social Network. It’s just like the story of how MetalSucks was created, only we didn’t go to ivy league schools, we’re not billionaires, and we haven’t sued each other (yet). How dare David Fincher and Aaron Sorkin steal our life story!

Speaking of our life story, here’s how we amused ourselves this week:

• We debuted new music by The Fucking Wrath.
• Intronaut’s Sacha Dunable wondered if America really has any talent, The Red Chord’s Greg Weeks discussed the NFL with Job for a Cowboy’s Charn, and Daath’s Eyal Levi taught us about proper etiquette for being a houseguest.
• We spoke to Eric Guenther from From Exile and the new Daath album.
• We checked out new releases by The Serpent & The Siren as well as Mutant Supremacy, Pyrrhon and Parasitic Extirpation.
• We found out that way more of you like nu-metal than we thought.
• We learned how to look like a hot metal chick.
• We bemoaned the latest batch of Rock and Roll Hall of Fame nominees.
• We watched the new Cephalic Carnage video and now we’re afraid we’ll never get a boner again.
• We got excited about the first awesome tour of 2011.
• We declared Cradle of Filth to be a glam band now.

Have a good weekend, folks. See ya Monday!

-AR

Cradle of Filth’s new video has debuted on Fangoria. It’s for the song “Forgive Me Father (I Have Sinned),” from their new album, Darkly, Darkly, Venus Aversa. Some random thoughts:

• I didn’t realize before that Dani Filth’s new Daryl-Hannah-in-Blade-Runner make-up had glitter in it. Between that and the snake dancer chick in the slinky sequined number, I’m ready to declare Cradle of Filth a glam band. (And Dani’s blue lipstick ain’t huring my argument, either.) I don’t care if Filth’s vocals sound like my Uncle Morty trying to reach the remote without getting out of his chair, or that he’s singing about religion; he’s singing about sex as a violation of religion, not how we’re all enslaved by Christianity or whatever. (I understand there’s a connection between the two — but, here at least, it’s specifically the sex part that interests Filth. In case the symbolism of the snake, the hovering over the chick’s bed, the Merchant-Ivory-esque longing glances through a confessional booth, the girl’s offering to give Dani “whatever will make you spend eternity with me,” and the fact that the band is performing in a giant vagina didn’t tip you off.) So this is really just a goth kid’s answer to “Talk Dirty to Me,” an allegedly rebellious, catchy pop metal song about fucking, designed for fucking.
• I’d like to thank whomever makes these decisions for hiring Bryce Dallas Howard to do the female vocals, instead of whatever the fuck that is that’s doing them in the new Dimmu Borgir song.

Head over to Fangoria to check out the video. Darkly, Darkly, Venus Aversa comes out November 9.

-AR

I often associate Dimmu Borgir with Cradle of Filth, for really no better reason than I think they’re probably both gateways into black metal for a lot of kids. I can’t think of two other black metal bands that have gotten so popular in metal’s relative mainstream; I mean, I assume they’re not selling Mayhem shirts at Hot Topic (at least not yet).

Now here’s another good reason to associate CoF with Dimmu: Both bands have new albums coming out, both bands are rockin’ new gear for those albums, and both bands seem to have modled that gear on a prior Marilyn Manson look. Dimmu have gone the all-white Mechanical Animals route (although a friend recently suggested that the style might actually owe more to Antichrist Superstar Manson), and now Cradle of Filth are doing the Daryl Hannah-in-Blade Runner thing that Manson did for Holy Wood:

So that’s a little weird. I fucking love Blade Runner, but I think it’s time to declare a moratorium on this particular style of make-up, don’t you? Like, if musicians wanna start dressing like Joanna Cassidy or, better yet, Brion James, that would be swell with me… just no more Daryl Hannah, okay?

Cradle of Filth’s latest, Darkly, Darkly, Venus Aversa, comes out in November. Watch a behind-the-scenes video (featuring the above make-up) with  a piece of a new song after the jump.

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As far as I can tell, intellectual racist types just love to lure accommodating non-idiots into passionate arguments. Forever citing research both arcane and mainstream, these misguided lunkheads are awesome at wearing down the most patient conversant. It’s always “Oh you don’t get it, man. The Jews are responsible for this. The Blacks are more likely to that. Illegals from Mexico are just waiting for the right moment to blah blah blah. You don’t even know!” Yawn. Why subscribe to a belief system that could be logically disproved by a reasonably sober pre-teen and then act all civilized about it? That’s like doing a PhD thesis on your shameful third-grade pants-shitting episode. What a waste. To disarm these fools, who seem goofy even compared to their frothing toothless hillbilly counterparts, the most effective weapon is laughter. Howling, sputtering laughter. I’m giggling even now!

And that’s why I hope someone has acquainted silly-billy Varg Vikernes of Burzum with the “Burzum Marley” split by Brazil’s Mukeka Di Rato (with Hero Dishonest of Finland). I haven’t tracked down the tune  – a bud in Brazil assures me it’s both black metal and reggae — but the cover art (above) is like freakin’ Nobel Prize-level awesomeness. It’s a total negation of Vikernes’ entire life right there on one obscure 7″, and a reminder that, in the proper context, his imbecilic mission is a farty squeak lost amid the thunderous roar of peace-lovers like Bob Marley. Politics aside, the track also makes you wish for some more philosophically compatible musical collisions: How about some sweaty Afro-beat folk metal from EnsiFela? Or the no-justice-no-peace rage of SepulTosh? Shit, I’d kill for some Sade-dle of Filth about now.

-ADF

Mega-hugs to CSS for the tip!

So there’s a new Cradle of Filth song, “Lilith Immaculate,”and we got a bunch of reader e-mails about it hours (and in one case days) BEFORE we got a press release. So three cheers for COF’s fanatical followers knowing about it every time Dani Filth farts, regardless of whether or not the media tells them how it smelled.

ANYWAY, the song. You can download it by signing up for the COF mailing list, or you can just listen below. It sounds like Cradle of Filth to me. I’m not a huge fan, and the one time I saw the band live, it was pretty much the most awful thing ever… but every now and then they churns out a pop-black metal tune that gets stuck in my noggin. (Like that song “Nymphetamine.” That’s a guilty pleasure if ever there was one.) And I do think that Dani Filth is a really, really smart guy with a vision who has worked very hard for his success. One might not like that vision, which is fine… but the dude has gotten as far as he has for a reason, y’know?

Cradle of Filth’s new album, Darkly, Darkly, Venus Aversa, comes out November 9 on Nuclear Blast. Everyone who didn’t e-mail us should talk about how much they hate this band in the comments section, and then everyone who did e-mail us should defend them.

-AR

Lovings your mommies is tr00. Shes the ones whos taughts yous hows tos bes ebil. Maybes yous evens borrowed her makesups thes first time yous puts ons corpse paints. Remembers hows shes mades yous cleans your rooms? Ebil. Ors hows shes tolds yous tos makes thes monsters face sos shes could brush yours teeths? Ebil. Ors hows she groundeds yous whens shes founds outs that yous burneds downs the church? EBIL. Ors hows she stoods ups for yous whens you coulds nots gets the parole fors killings your band mates? EBIL!!!!!!!!!!!!

So yous cans takes one days tos gos tos thes Hallmarks and buys a nice cards. It wills nots kills yous.

Most BM bands is toos muchs ofs pussys tos express their loves fors the mommies. Pussys pussys pussys. Heres the bests Is coulds dos. Nows Is ams goings tos give my mommies the necklace Is boughts ats thes T.J. Maxxs ands takes her tos the buffets ats the Holidays Inns ands to sees the Babies movie. Ebil, ebil, ebil.

-NC