Now I have no choice but to kill Scott Stapp’s grandma.

-AR

… would sound better than Scott Stapp singing.

-VN

[Thanks: Geoff H.]

Exhibit A: During the two-day black metal festival “Nidarosian Black Mass” in Trondheim, Norway this past weekend, the band Celestial Bloodshed played their gig in stage costumes that had been brewing in a box with a deer corpse… for four months. They took their clothes — and the corpse — out of the box on the day of the gig, and used both on stage. Result? The bar next door who happened to be connected to the venue’s air conditioning system had to close for the night due to the stench of death. This information comes via MetalSucks reader Fritz who was kind enough to summarize this Norwegian newspaper article, so we’ll have to take his word for it. Is there any doubt why Norway is the metal capital of the world?

Exhibit B: This is kind of an old story, but newsworthy nonetheless: A Wisconsin man recently became so incensed by what he deemed to be a disrespectful karaoke performance of Dio’s song Holy Diver that he attacked the singer and a second man.

Exhibit C: Creed are rumoured to be reuniting and no one has offed Scott Stapp yet. What the fuck??? Get on that.

-VN

The United States has a brilliant new President in Mr. Barack Obama, and here we are debating whether or not Christians can make tr00 black metal. What can I say? Here are some other things that happened this week:

• We debuted new music from The Giraffes.
• Marilyn Manson splits with young, ghostly-looking female, contemplates future life (hint: it probably involved another ghostly-looking female 20 years his junior).
• Mastodon divulge some details about their new album (hint: lots of drugs had to have been involved).
• Sammy O’Hagar interviewed Enslaved’s Grutle Kjellson and Vince went Jew on Jew with Daath’s Eyal Levi.
• Deftones bassist Chi Cheng was in a tragic car accident and remains in a coma. Godspeed.
• Stoner legends Sleep announce reunion shows; as Led Zep contemplates life without Robert Plant, we pray to God that decision doesn’t spawn a Creed reunion.

Til Monday…

The Webernet rumor mill has been aflutter in recent weeks with the news that two of the three surviving members of Led Zeppelin — Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones — would like to take the band out on the road following their massively successful 2007 reunion concert. The late John Bonham’s son Jason, who participated in the reunion show, would likely sit on the drummer’s throne, but singer Robert Plant has publicly stated he isn’t interested, instead opting to continue making bland alt-country music for the NPR / Starbcuks set with crooner Allison Krause.

All this begs the question: if Plant does indeed decline, who would take his place? Various names have been bandied about — Steven Tyler and Chris Cornell among them, and the latest, petrifying, scary and frightening choice: Myles Kennedy of Alter Bridge.

Click to read more…