photo by Mark Latham

Leading independent music retailer VICTORY RECORDS released a free sampler via Facebook over the weekend (free, that is, in exchange for a “like” on the social network, of course). And like any label’s sampler, it has some good stuff (Jungle Rot, Ringworm, Pathology — I guess I like Pathology now?) and some bad stuff (Design the Skyline, Dr. Acula, Emmure). But the real reason to download it is a demo of a new God Forbid song, “Where We Come From.”

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Why am I writing this week’s “Worst Week” entirely in questions? Could it be to irritate you? Or am I just trying to keep myself amused at the end of the week?

Did you know we asked some other questions this week?

• Was Sergeant D. kidding when he said that there are only two good songs in Reign in Blood?
• Why did Dimmu Borgir change their album art post-release?
• What’s the big deal about Volbeat?
• Is Glenn Danzig actually perfectly reasonable?
• Is there anything better than a Devin Townsend show?
• Can Ozzy restore your sanity?

And have you asked yourself these questions as well?

• Did you know that we debuted new music by The Ocean, Dukatalon, and Gozu?
• Did you read Anso’s chat with Dave Wyndorf from Monster Magnet?
• Is Oderus’ advice column worse than Vinnie Paul’s? Do you agree with Doc Coyle’s assessments on the issue of European metal versus American metal? Do you find, as Eyal Levi does, that creative prison is for pussies? Is Greg Weeks imagining it, or does it smell like poop and onions right now?
• Did you buy the new album from Dallas Coyle’s Genetic? You know the money goes to cancer research, right?

Are you worried that I’ll still be doing this on Monday? Do you think I care?

-AR

If The Album Isn’t Dead Then We Should Kill It!

A lot of people take it as an insult to albums when I make that statement. But that’s just not the case. Albums will always be awesome. They are most awesome when you get one that’s actually filled with good music from front to back. It is very difficult to write a good album so I’m not dissing the actuality of the album being an artform or a statement or whatever the fuck. But…

Bands shouldn’t make albums anymore.

How often do you hear bands complaining about losing money or not being able to tour because of the internet and people ‘stealing’ their records? If you are one of those bands than I say you deserve to get your shit stolen because you keep making albums. I’m not shitting on bands for making albums. Let’s be clear. I’m just trying to shed light on this whole ‘album’ idea considering the time we live in.

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To the MetalSucks Maniac known as “Sacajewea,” we would like to say the following: YOU ARE A FUCKING RETARD. It’s incredible how retarded you are, you stupid fucking idiot mongoloid half-wit retard.

We send this message because in October of ’09, Sacajewea left a comment on the very first post we ever wrote, saying he was “Just here to dig up the past;” then he left another comment, just this past June, which read:

“I did it twice. Fuck I’m retarded. If anyone sees this please find me in a recent post and tell me how retarded I am.”

On December 26, 2006 — a date that will live in infamy — we did what professionals call a “soft launch” but we just call “the day we first posted on this blog.” Our slogan was “Smart About Metal,” a play on the slogan for Film Comment magazine.

We had these two stupid South Park caricatures that Axl made at his then-job when he was bored. (Axl forgot until just now that he had a really long goatee in ’06; Vince still had phantom Jew ‘fro, where some days he can feel it, man!) We only posted once or twice a day, throughout the week, pretty much when we had time/interest. We didn’t use tags. We often didn’t post graphics or videos. Our headlines weren’t capitalized. We interviewed members of Stuck Mojo and Twisted Sister, because that’s who we could get interviews with. Believe it or not, we tried to get an interview with God Forbid… and we failed.

Basically, we had no fucking idea what we were doing.

We can’t believe that this is our 10,000th post. We can’t believe we’re still doing this almost four years after we started. We can’t believe that so many of you are reading it. Seriously: WE WERE ONLY FUCKING KIDDING.

So…

Thanks to Kip (who has been here longer than anyone besides Vince and Axl!), Sammy, Gary, Anso, Satan (the MetalSucks contributor and the deity), Sergeant D., Bob, Leyla, Corey, Urbandale, Dave, Matt, Ferris, Dallas, Eyal, Sacha, Paul, Bulb, Arthur, Anton OyVey, Rich Hallford, David Bee Roth, Van Arseface, Mike Pattongill, Angela Gossowski, Joey V., and everyone else who has ever written for us… MetalSucks would not be where it is if not for all of you.

Thanks to everyone in the music industry who has helped us over the years, even as they must have been secretly hoping we would van flip.

And of course, thanks to all the MetalSucks Maniacs, Suckalos, annoying people who can’t use the “search” function, and dudes that have sent us death threats. We can’t tell you how grateful we are that you read our site. Thank you thank you thank you.

Now, with a complete lack of humility, Axl and Vince present their ten favorite MetalSucks posts of all time. Enjoy.

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So, yeah, it turns out there’s a burgeoning metal scene in Maldives, and we even know some peeps who have either worked there or may work there in the future. Does that mean we’ll take a vacation there soon? Fuck do we look like, Wes Borland?

Here’s some other shit that happened this week:

• We were re-joined by some old friends: Porn star Bobbi Starr talked about the world’s most metal porn, and Dallas Coyle pondered the road to happiness.
• We debuted an exclusive excerpt from Dave Mustaine’s memoirs, and are giving you a chance to meet the man himself.
• We spoke to Woody Weatherman from C.O.C. and Roxana Shirazi, author of The Last Living Slut.
• We checked out new releases by Clutch and The Acacia Strain and I Declare War.
• Sergeant D. taught us about the history of slam.
• We defended Eddie Van Halen from Dave Davies.
• We climbed a Wall of Douche.
• We met The Crud Wizard…
• …who is infinitely cooler than the dude from ICP’s ree-ree son.
• Also, BON JOVI + BOOBIES!!!

Okay. Gonna go to an awesome Cynic show now. Lates.

-AR

You act as if there’s this big, massive success around each corner. The one fact is: you’re not enjoying the success you’ve had so far… So how will you enjoy the success you have in the future?

-DCC

Like myself, Dallas Coyle is a huge film dork — I love geeking out with him, ’cause the dude really knows his shit. And I’m stoked to see that he’s started to put all that knowledge to good use: He co-directed The Judas Syndrome‘s new video, “Death of the Soul,” with Frankie Nasso, who has previously helmed clips for Mudvayne, Hatebreed, All That Remains, Sworn Enemy, and Demiricous, among others.

The video just debuted on Noisecreep, and is really cool; you can check it out below. Hopefully we’ll be seeing more from Dallas Coyle, cinemetal auteur in the not-too-distant future!

“Death of the Soul” comes off The Judas Syndrome’s Underneath Blood Skies, which is out now.

-AR

Yep, we talked a lot of smack on Joey Belladonna this week, much to the chagrin of, well, an awful lot of you. I think we’re done for a little while… but I can’t make any promises. Our job at MetalSucks is to amuse ourselves first and foremost, and, well, we thought it was pretty damned funny. So ppppfffftttt.

Here’s what else went down this week:

• We debuted the title track from Nachtmystium’s new album, Addicts.
• Genetic’s Dallas Coyle called us “influential,” Disfear’s Tomas Lindberg shared some Maryland Deathfest memories, The Austerity Program’s Justin Foley unveiled his top four Taco Riffs, Cynic’s Paul Masvidal got burglarized, As I Lay Dying’s Nick Hipa made some new revelations about L O S T, God Forbid’s Doc Coyle worried about turning into an old geezer, Daath’s Eyal Levi gave us a lesson in stage etiquette, and Batillus’ Geoff Summers gave us a new studio update.
• We spoke to The Melvins’ Buzz Osborne, Periphery’s Misha “Bulb” Mansoor, Testament’s Chuck Billy, and Sick of it All’s Lou Koller.
• We checked out new releases by Korn and Ufomammut and Year of No Light.
• Is Mastodon’s Brent Hinds a Mastodick?
• Sergeant D sez Cunthunt777 are your new favorite band.
• Don’t worry, baby, Dr. Danzig gonna cure what ails you.
• Hot chick loves Nergal, hates the Bible.
• Boy oh boy, do we love the new Limp Bizkit cover art!
• If you’re looking for new band members, don’t do this.

Alright. We’re gonna go get drunk and crank We’ve Come For You All in John Bush’s honor. Have a great weekend, everyone.

-AR

It’s hard to believe I wrote my first blog for Metalsucks on February 21st, 2008. I really don’t know what happened to that time. So much has happened to me since then that it’s hard for me to believe life has gone by this quickly.

And I left the only thing I ever knew behind me. I bowed out of the most rewarding and troubling journey I’ve ever experienced.

Believe it or not, my decision to leave God Forbid wasn’t a decision. My quitting the band stemmed from a stupid argument (the last straw) I had with my brother involving me getting a ride from New York City to the band’s van in Pennsylvania. This argument consisted of screaming about money, respect, being a “star,” big opportunities, etc. The argument ended with me screaming to my brother, “Fuck YOUR band.” I’ve never leveled an attack at my brother in that way. The band was never “his” or “mine.” It was always “ours.” That statement was really “I quit,” and we both knew it.

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So Vince is now out of town. Again. Luckily, we really do take after our namesakes; he loves to be out there among the people, partying like he might die tomorrow, and I am a grumpy, mean-spirited recluse. So expect lots of Axl crankiness next week.

In the meantime, here are some things that happened this week:

• Genetic’s Dallas Coyle discussed the importance of positive thinking, As I Lay Dying’s Nick Hipa pondered the various timelines on L O S T, Intronaut’s Sacha Dunable listed the five raddest sets of teeth in metal, Eyal Levi from Daath and Levi/Werstler wondered if anyone cares about guitar solos, and adult film actress Bobbi Starr told us the ten metal bands she wishes would gangbang her.
• We debuted new music by The Dillinger Escape Plan, Landmine Marathon, and Jucifer.
• MetalSucks readers interviewed Dark Tranquillity’s Mikael Stanne and Vince interviewed Sevendust’s Clint Lowery.
• Sammy O’Hagar reviewed Ov Hell’s The Underworld Regime.
• Is Nergal from Behemoth going to jail for destroying a Bible?
• The singer from DragonForce is available for a White Lion reunion.
• We raged against “Rage.”

And that’s it! Next week will see the debut of our irritating new list, as well as some other fun shit. Have a nice weekend…

-AR

Congrats to Ziltoid and Grover XIII for entering the blogger world. Check out their new blog, The Number of the Blog!  It takes balls to work on something and put it out there for people (the world) to ingest. I’m sure they will get a good following. The Internet is such a specific place so a different perspective goes a long way. If there is humor involved, even better!

Your success is dependent on you and no one else. There are people out there who believe you need to fail for them to succeed. That’s bullshit. There’s room for everyone to step up. Get out there and do what Ziltoid and Grover XIII did. Start something. Congratulations again guys. I’ll check it out as much as I can.

Let’s get your band closer to the success you want, need and deserve. There are so many tools at your disposal to get your band noticed. Networking, playing shows, making merchandise, recording albums, making webisodes, etc. But one of the most important aspects of moving forward in music is one of the most overlooked.

Positive thinking. Yeah, I said it. On the big, bad metal blog. Sue me.

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I haven’t been able to shake this cold, and so I’ve actually been playing a lot of on-line Scrabble with a friend this week (because I’m just that cool). It would be really hard to play Scrabble at a metal show, though, not least of all because so many metal d00dz can’t spell.

When we weren’t beating this whole Uno debacle to death like it had just heckled us, here’s what was happening in the world of metal:

• We streamed Mutiny Within’s self-titled debut album, and premiered a track by Dallas Coyle’s new project, Genetic.
• God Forbid’s Doc Coyle defended mainstream metal, As I Lay Dying’s Nick Hipa discussed the cliffside cave list on L O S T, and, yeah, Intronaut’s Sacha Dunable and Daath’s Eyal Levi each weighed-in on a certain incident involving a certain card game.
• Each of the MetalSucks writers endorsed a finalist for the Scion No Label Needed Contest.
• We checked out new albums by The Breathing Process, Hayaino Daisuki, and Bane and Rhinoceros.
• We debated the morality of a label head posting a link to an album leak.
• We are woman, hear us roar.
• We looked at Mike Patton’s penis, and are now increasingly happy our shrink is coming back from vacation next week.
• Our homeboy Corey Mitchell is co-authoring Phil Anselmo’s autobiography!

Okay. Back to Scrabble! See ya Monday. Stay warm.

-AR

Dallas Coyle left God Forbid over a year ago, but the guy’s certainly not been short on musical output during his time away from the scene. From time to time Dallas sends us songs in various stages of completion ranging from demos to full-on productions to gauge our thoughts; of those, his latest project, dubbed Genetic, is by far our favorite. Check out the exclusive premier of the Genetic track “The Master Key” below, then listen to a few more on the Genetic MySpace page.

[this promotion has ended]

Alright! After an initial slow news week, 2010 is finally start to get back into the swing of things. Here are some highlights from this week:

• Vince got an exclusive interview with Obituary/ex-Andrew W.K. drummer Donald Tardy about the AWK conspiracy mystery. We also spoke to Richard Christy and Pelican’s Larry Herwig.
• We debuted new music by The Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza, Karnivool, and Blood of the Tyrant.
• Dallas is giving away free music, Eyal’s faith in metalheads has been restored, and Justin pontificated on the format wars.
• These Arms Are Snakes are done…
• …but System of a Down are reuniting! Or maybe not. But maybe.
• The dude from Weedeater shot himself in the foot. Literally.
• We’re sponsoring The Red Chord’s Burgers & Bowling tour!
• Underoath don’t like abortions.

Next week we’ll have some previews of 2010 releases we’re stoked on for you. And Vince is gonna be in sunny Los Angeles, so you poor-ass muthafuckas is stuck with me. BWA-HA-HA-HA!!!

-AR

I really hate the end of the year during Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s seasonal depression, or maybe it’s because I’m still coming to grips with the fact that Satan Clause doesn’t exist. I always get loopy during that time of the year. My last two blogs were extensions of that, and if I offended any of you guys, I apologize. I really appreciate every person who comes to MetalSucks and contributes to making this place the best metal site on the interwebz. When I called some of you “faggots” and “assholes” it was out of love. Honestly!

I’ve been an angry, bitter fuck these last couple of months. I don’t need to tell you guys. And I appreciate you being good sports throughout this whole ordeal. It’s 2010 and it’s time to move on.

From leaving God Forbid to my personal life completely falling apart, I’ve been dealing with some wild bullshit. I’m thirty years old now and for you young bucks out there, take it from me: life gets harder. But that’s okay. It has to get harder, or else we wouldn’t get stronger.

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Hard to believe it’s been almost a year since Dallas Coyle and God Forbid parted ways, but there ya have it. And a lot of God Forbid fans – including this one – were wondering who was gonna take Dallas’ spot in the band. Former Himsa guitarist Matt Wicklund has been doing live shows with the group since last summer’s Mayhem Fest, and the rumors have been swirling that he was taking the job pretty much ever since -  a couple of readers e-mailed us to say that Wicklund was introduced as “our new guitar player” on-stage, and earlier this month he tweeted that he was “Getting ready to go to rehearsal!”, although rehearsal for what was left kinda-sorta vague.

Well, the rumors are no longer rumors: Wicklund is, in fact, the new full-time guitarist for God Forbid. A statement from Doc Coyle reads as follows:

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My last blog was fucking hilarious. I mean, really. It was good. No, it was better than good. It was great. Besides some of my blogs that have nothing to do with metal (Susan Boyle) I was able to write something that wasn’t serious at all. And again, it was completely hilarious. The best part of the blog was -

Half of you mother-fuckos didn’t even get it!

And Jesus, it was sad. I mean, come the fuck on. What are you guys paying attention to? One of my choices for my year end list was Joe Duplantier  – For being ‘better than everyone else.’ Oh… and one of my favorites: Ivan Moody’s ‘VOICE’ from FFDP. His voice! His god damn voice?

Wake up, you assholes!
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I’ve lost interest in metal. Playing it that is. I LOVE listening though. I listened to Chimaira’s Resurrection in it’s entirety and didn’t even realize it was in its entirety. Bad ass record! Born Of Osiris has been in my play list lately as well. But Dallas Coyle’s (yes, third person) output/creation of metal music has been nil on the metal front. I’ve written some rock, some trip hop, some electronica — But no metal.

I haven’t done a blog in a while because I don’t have the passion to write about metal either. There are an alleged amount of reasons I suspect are contributing to my lack of metal inspiration, none of which I can say is a direct culprit. None of which is the sole reason I’m not ‘metaled’ up right now.

Reason #1

This site is becoming more popular and I feel obligated to write something that relates to the metal scene. Since there is more of a demand for metal blogomania at Metalsucks I feel I shouldn’t talk about Susan Boyle or Tiger Woods. BUT, when the election was happening I didn’t mind talking shit about McCain or Hillary Clinton? Weird right? But the site didn’t have the traffic it does now. I don’t get it myself. Shouldn’t I want MORE people to read what I write? Like I said, I have no idea! I’m an enigma wrapped in a shitty cooked grilled onion. The enigma stinks and so does the onion :) My brother’s latest blog about Killswitch was better than anything I’ve ever written for my blog so maybe I’m waiting for him to step in. Wait. I’m not in God Forbid anymore so I should stop expecting Doc to cover for me. Dammit. I never should have quit!
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Yesterday God Forbid announced that they’ll be playing a very special show on January 9 at Dingbatz in Clifton, NJ. Now, Dingbatz only holds about two-hundred people and advance tickets to the show are a whopping twelve bucks, so this is pretty cool in and of itself. But even cooler for those of us who can’t attend the show is the opening sentence from the announcement:

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