MetalSucks

Today was Friday the 13th, but absolutely nothing bad happened to me. I mean, the night is young so shit could still go horribly awry I suppose, but all in all, I had a pretty good day – nay, I had a pretty good week. If only the same could be said for the world of metal. Here’s some disasters the plagued various musicians this week:

• Slash completed his decade-long indoctrination into the Metallica “Fuck Our Fans” Club.
• We’re not sure if Steven Tyler is still in Aerosmith or not, but we are sure that we don’t give a fuck either way.
• There was a lot of controversy over a really, really ugly painting.
• No can explain to me why I should care about Alter Bridge.
• Fear Faction ate s’more babies, released a new song.
• R.I.P. Jerry Fuchs.

And, oh yeah, some good news: MetalSucks is going to do a digital release of The Binary Code’s Suspension of Disbelief on December 15 for just five bucks! Get stoked.

Alright. I’m off to go hear Vince spin. Have a nice weekend everyone. Next week we have another extra, super-duper special surprise for you…

-AR

So some people are all up in arms about the above painting by the artist Tom Sanford, The Assassination of Dimebag Darrell, which will be going on sale at an auction later this month (read all about it here and here). I don’t want to spend a lot of time on this, but I do want to make two quick points:

1. Metal fans really don’t get have the right to be offended by artistic portrayals of horribly violent acts, even if they’re based on a real incident. If you’ve ever enjoyed Slayer’s “Angel of Death,” you should understand my meaning.
2. It’s just a painting, and, really, the most offensive thing about it is how ugly it is.

Weigh in with your thoughts below.

-AR

If you’re famous, one of the biggest problems with being dead is that you lose all control over how your “estate” (read: family that needs money) uses abuses your legacy. Case in point: Kurt Cobain is apparently going to be in Guitar Hero 5.

Now, I’m not one of these people who has a problem with Guitar Hero or rhythm games in general – I find them entertaining, and I’m not an alarmist who thinks they mean kids are gonna stop learning to play real instruments.

But I feel like Cobain is definitely the kind of stick-up-his-ass dude who would have a problem with Guitar Hero. Still, Francis Bean gotta eat Courtney Love gotta shoot up, so there’s Kurt in all his pixelated glory.

I’m shocked that Dimebag hasn’t been included in a rhythm game yet. I’d wager that his estate is working on that right about now.

-AR

He’d of been 43 years old today.

Here he is shredding back when he was my age.

-AR

I just read this on the ol’ Bmouth:

SLAYER guitarist Kerry King, a close friend of the late “Dimebag” Darrell Abbott (PANTERA, DAMAGELAN), had the legendary axeman’s guitar in the studio during the recording process for SLAYER’s new album, “World Painted Blood” (although he didn’t use it it during the sessions), still with the same strings that were on it the last time Dimebag played it. “The one thing that made me look at my lead playing a little differently was when Dimebag passed away,” revealed King. “Not that I’m going to fill Dime’s shoes because nobody can do that, but I paid more attention to my leads while recording this album. I wanted to make them more memorable in memory of Dime.”

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After the horrific murder of his brother, no one would have faulted Pantera/Damageplan drummer Vinnie Paul for dropping off the face of the Earth. But instead, the man chose to soldier on, starting his own record company, Big Vin Records, and resuming his drumming duties for boozy groove metallers Hellyeah. The former has signed Type O Negative side project Seventh Void and released the successful Dimebag Darrell tribute DVD Dimevision; the latter’s toured the globe in support of their debut album, with plans to record and tour again in the near future. A relentlessly positive guy who sounds a little like the metal version of King of the Hill’s Boomhauer, Vinnie seems content with the past and satisfied with the present (upon hearing that I was conducting the interview from Massachusetts after I shut my tape recorder off, he gave his thoughts on the Boston Bruins’ then-upcoming playoff game with Montreal Canadiens and stated that his dream Superbowl would be between the Cowboys and the Patriots, if it were possible). In his inteview with MetalSucks, he gives his thoughts on the upcoming 20th anniversary of Cowboys from Hell, running a record label, and the future of Hellyeah.

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My first Fuck Rolling Stone post on metal singers was such a hit I thought I’d dig back into the RS archives and stir up some more shit. So, I decided to re-read their summertime list of the 100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time (also here).

Thankfully, there are a few metallic (but mostly rockish) noteworthy icons; however, extreme metal is woefully ignored. Nonetheless, the list did include Jimi Hendrix (#1), Jimmy Page (#9), Kirk Hammett (#11), Kurt Cobain (#12), Johnny Ramone (#16), Tom Morello (#26), Thurston Moore/Lee Ranaldo (Sonic Youth) (#33/#34), Joe Perry (#48), Ritchie Blackmore (#55), Vernon Reid (#66), Eddie Van Halen (#70), Adam Jones (Tool) (#75), D. Boon (The Minutemen) (#89), Glen Buxton (Alice Cooper) (#90), Wayne Kramer/Fred “Sonic” Smith (MC5) (#92/#93), Kevin Shields (My Bloody Valentine) (#95), Angus Young (#96), Leigh Stephens (Blue Cheer) (#98), Greg Ginn (Black Flag) (#99), and Kim Thayil (Soundgarden) (#100).

And, yet another reason why we here at the MetalSucks Mansion like to say “Fuck Rolling Stone!” — coming in at #86, TOMMY Iommi…yes, “TOMMY.” How the fuck do you not know the first name of one of the true legends of not only metal, but of rock guitars? Hmmmmmmmm….Please, clue me in.

IT’S TONY, YOU FUCKS!!!

Anyway, here is my stab at the best Metal Guitarists of All Time — and for a point of reference, my Old Fartness will be shining through here, as will my love for rhythm guitarists:

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