Does anyone else find it hilarious that ex-Anthrax guitarist Dan Spitz is going around releasing press copy that trumpets his new band Red Lamb (I’m still calling them DeuxMonkey) as being “Palm Beach, Florida-based”? I know Spitz lives there now, but when I think of Palm Beach I think of octagenarian synchronized exercise classes in the swimming pool followed by a nice, rousing game of Shuffleboard before retiring the clubhouse for a high-ball of Jack Daniels and arguing over a game of pinochle; aka “my grandparents.” Not exactly the look Spitz is probably aiming for.

Earlier this week the debut Red Lamb album suddenly appeared on iTunes with no fanfare whatsoever, and there was some confusion as to what Dave Mustaine’s involvement was since he doesn’t sing or play on the track and he hasn’t promoted the album one iota. But I think we’ve cleared it up now; Mustaine produced this record after hearing the song Spitz had written. Which in this case apparently entails coming into the studio and instructing vocalist Don Chaffin to sound as much like Dave Mustaine as possible.

So, uh, here’s their new video. It’s certainly a video.

-VN

So, hey, remember Red Lamb, the new project from former Anthrax guitarist Dan Spitz and forever Megadeth boss Dave Mustaine (and once upon a time called DeuxMonkey)? Well, guess what? Their self-titled debut full-length was released on Friday via iTunes. And you’d think that first album from a band featuring two founding members of Big Four bands would be treated like a huge event and reported on by every metal news outlet in the galaxy, but it wasn’t, because there was no press release sent out, and the only official announcement came earlier today via the band’s Facebook page. So, that seems pretty weird.

Also weird: yeah I don’t think Mustaine actually had anything to do with this record.

Here is my evidence:

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Last December Dave Mustaine shocked anyone who was under the impression that he had relevant taste in modern metal by not only endorsing, but announcing his own collaboration with, DeuxMonkey, former Anthrax guitarist Dan Spitz’s horrendous new project.

And now we have good news, bad news, really bad news, and really, really bad news concerning these events:

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Last week Dave Mustaine dropped a not-so-subtle hint that there were more Big Four shows coming this summer, and now the first one has been announced: Metallica, Slayer, Megadeth and Anthrax will headline the U.K. edition of Sonisphere on July 8, 2011. Biffy Clyro and Slipknot will headline the other two nights of the fest, July 9 and July 10.

This is obviously swell news for British fans, but what about the rest of us? Should we be purchasing plane tickets? I don’t think so. It’s hard for me to imagine that more shows won’t follow. These bands have a good thing going with this Big Four stuff, and they know it. So let’s just sit tight and see what happens next.

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Well, this was some shitty news to get first thing in the morning.

Just last week we heard rumors that Anthrax was swapping out John Bush for Joey Belladonna again – and now those rumors are fact. Belladonna will play the “Big Four” shows Sonisphere Festival shows and a handful of other gigs with the band starting next month; immediately thereafter, according to the official press release, “the band will fly back to the U.S. and begin writing and rehearsing for a new album that’s expected to be out in early 2011.”

(And in case you’re wondering, Dan Spitz isn’t returning to the fold, because I guess he’s too busy changing the face of music forever with his revolutionary new project, DeuxMonkey. So, at least for now, Rob Caggiano’s job is safe.)

I hate just cutting and pasting press releases, but for the sake of us all having the same amount of information before I start my little rant, I’m going to re-print a portion of said release after the jump. My holier-than-thou ramblings will follow.

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Some of you may already be sick of all this Anthrax nonsense, but I am not. In fact, it is entirely possible that I am enjoying even more than I am enjoying the Fear Factory drama. Probably because I actually care about Anthrax.

So. Reader Aleksander Sobecki sent us a link to this inteview with Scott Ian from Metal Hammer. I’m going to do very little editing to the actual text because it’s all pretty fun to read. I will, however, include my analysis after each chunk of text.

And away we go…

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Doesn’t Scott Ian seem like a really swell dude when you see him on TV? He’s not Lars Ulrich, who comes off as such a prick that when you hear he really is a prick you go, “Yeah, that makes sense.” If my only knowledge of Scott Ian was his VH1 appearances, though, I’d wanna invite the guy to my place to my Passover sedar.

But then you hear these stories that make you smack your forehead, like, say, suddenly inviting Joey Belladonna and Dan Spitz back to the band after the artistic (if not financial) triumph of We’ve Come for You All, and suddenly Ian – and his bandmates, for that matter – don’t seem like such nice fellas. To wit, this statement from Dan Nelson on his unceremonious departure from Anthrax: Click to read more…

Holy shitballs. Former Anthrax guitarist and current Christian midget watchmaker Dan Spitz has started a new project, DeuxMonkey, and it’s so objectively stupid that I’m amazed it’s not directed by Michael Bay.

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We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: We’ve Come for You All is the best Anthrax album. Belladonnanthrax had a lot (I mean, a LOT) of classic tunes, but Belladonna was kind of a tool. Was that group anyone’s favorite thrash band?* They grew as musicians and songwriters when they started to introduce more classic hard rock elements into their music, and they certainly got heavier. And WCFYA was the ultimate representation of theses facts.

So. I’d almost forgotten that Anthrax have a new album coming out, because it seems like it’s been so long since there’s been much movement on them. But now the album has a name, Worship Music, and a tentative June release date. Here are some random preliminary thoughts:

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Assuming, for a moment, that Anthrax really have hired Dan Nelson as their new front man, then it begs the question: who’s gonna play lead on their new album? Although we’d love to see Rob Caggiano return to the fold – his solos on We’ve Come for You All, a disc he also co-produced, were pretty sweet – I’m not entirely convinced it’s essential; Caggiano did not, as far as I can tell, do that much of the songwriting on WCFYA – I believe that duty fell, as usual, to the Ian/Benante/Bello team. Furthermore, it’s hard for me to imagine that Caggiano would even be considered a serious possibility, since a) as a successful producer for bands like Cradle of Filth, he can’t really need the money and b) John Bush has opted not to return to the band in favor of being the voice of Burger King. And we know Dan Spitz is back to making watches or being lazy eyed or doing whatever the fuck he does when he’s not in Anthrax.

So who? Paul Crook seems like kind of a natural choice – he replaced Spitz for two albums, Stomp 442 and Volume 8: The Threat is Real, and since he’s credited as an engineer on WCFYA, I have to assume his split with the band was amicable. And we know he’s got free time in his schedule: after leaving Anthrax, he toured with Sebastian Bach and that Queen musical for awhile, and I think these days he plays with Meatloaf – but even that makes him an ongoing member of the extended Anthrax family, given that Meatloaf’s daughter, Pearl Aday, is married to Scott Ian.

But just for shits and giggles, let’s assume for a minute that none of Anthrax’s previous axe slingers are coming back to the band – who’s left? As much as I’d love for it to turn out to be someone BIG, I don’t really see that being in the cards, either – especially because, pretty much no matter who is or isn’t in the band, Anthrax are going to have a LOT to prove with their next album. To be honest, I don’t really have a theory, or even a wish list, of possible new lead guitarists for Anthrax – and I’d like to avoid a repeat of the whole Whitfield Crane incident, anyways – so I’ll just ask you good people: who do you think should play leads on the new Anthrax album?