30 Minutes or Less is an action comedy about a pair of redneck buffoon assholes, played by Danny McBride and Nick Swardson, who strap a bomb to the chest of a pizza boy, played by Danny Eisenberg, and force him a rob a bank on their behalf, lest he be blown up. (The pizza boy’s best friend, played by Aziz Ansari, is also there for some reason.) And while I have no idea if the movie will be good or bad, I do know that McBride’s villainous character wears metal band shirts in every scene.

Now, maybe my reaction to this costuming decision should be “Awesome! More exposure for Napalm Death!” (Fuck Metallica. They obviously need more exposure like the dude from Asking Alexandria needs another beer.) Or maybe it should be “It’s just a dumb movie, and you can barely see the shirt anyway.” Or maybe it should be “You make your living from a website called MetalSucks, idiot. Get over yourself.” Those would all be fair reactions, I think.

Of course, none of those are the reactions I had.

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