One my least popular observations is that Eddie Van Halen’s progress as a guitar soloist was temporarily stunted by the wave of gooey acclaim that soaked him as early as 1978. Until the 1984 album, the newly 56-year old axeman seemed more focussed on wizardry and novel tricks than on crafting memorable solo passages, notwithstanding “Somebody Get Me A Doctor.” His skillz were always bonkers, but apparently good judgement arrived with the keyboards; that’s when he proceeded to rail off beautious leads to equal his unmatched chord choices and phrasing. Then came F.U.C.K., Balance, the departure of Sammy Hagar, the whole Gary Cherone thing, dementia, divorce, marriage, a reconciliation with singer David Lee Roth, a deconciliation with bassist Michael Anthony, the enlistment of Wolfgang “FD-D” Van Halen, and finally Thursday, the happiest day of my adult life thanks to producer John Shanks’ twitter:

Here we go kids … VH.

Click to read more…

Yesterday, Sergeant D. posted a Metal Edition of the classic parlor game Marry, Fuck, or Kill, and you guys responded, uh, enthusiastically, surprising no one. And because we’re equal opportunity offenders — don’t forget that this is the site which posts leaked naked pictures of women and men alike — we decided that today we should post a metal d00dz edition.

So we sat down with the Mansion’s resident feminist, Leyla Ford, and presented her with some hot metal d00dz for a new game of MFK. Check out the results after the jump…

Click to read more…

Kevin Dubrow is dead, and I think that most of us assumed he would take Quiet Riot (the seventh most-often-miscategorized-as-a-hair-metal-band of all time) with him to the grave. Those of us who did make that assumption, however, forgot that desperate times call for desperate measures, and an empty belly holds no room for dignity.

So Quiet Riot are re-forming.

Click to read more…

Fucking publicists.

Last month a story started going around that there was a new Van Halen album in the works for 2011, the first complete record to feature David Lee Roth since 1984′s, uh, 1984; then the band’s publicist/Eddie Van Halen’s wife, Janie Van Halen, called the new album “rumors” and said “I don’t have any updates at this time.” I said at that point that JVH might be “completely full of shit,” and as it turns out, she was. From The Hollywood Reporter:

“…a recent release announcing a re-upped deal between publisher Warner/Chappell and Eddie and Alex Van Halen stated that the band ‘is currently in the studio recording an album with Roth that is due for release in 2011.’”

So, there you have it. Unless someone at Warner really fucked up when writing that press release, there is very much going to be a new Van Halen album next year.

Celebrate or weep in the comments section below.

-AR

Thanks: Mick Stingley

Since its inception by the typings of some clever music journalist in the 80s, the categorization “hair metal” (or “glam metal”) has been as amorphous and, consequently, as misused as “metalcore” has been in the aughties. And since it’s hair metal week here on MetalSucks, we thought we’d try to address this issue by pointing the spotlight on ten bands that are often, and incorrectly, deemed “hair metal.” And to that end…

If Van Halen set the standard for the flashy guitar techniques and outrageous frontman theatrics that would later come to define hair metal, then it’s only fair to call Extreme their proverbial nephews and similarly disrobe them of the “hair metal” tag. At their peak more than a full decade after EVH and DLR changed the face of heavy music forever, the Boston duo of Gary Cherone on vocals and wunkerkind Nuno Bettencourt on guitar channeled the vintage feel-good VH vibes into three killer albums that still stand up today. Nuno’s unabashed EVH worship was on display at all times both in his supersonic leads and intricately voiced, highly rhythmic rhythms — I suppose one could argue that he stylistically one-upped EVH and took everything he’d done to the next level, but I don’t think I’m gonna go there — and Cherone, though not as outrageous as David Lee Roth, certainly summoned his whacky / feel good on-stage personality, and not for nothin’ was definitely a better vocalist. And of course there’s that little thing where Cherone sang for Van Halen for a minute… but we don’t talk about that.

Click to read more…

Since its inception by the typings of some clever music journalist in the 80s, the categorization “hair metal” (or “glam metal”) has been as amorphous and, consequently, as misused as “metalcore” has been in the aughties. And since it’s hair metal week here on MetalSucks, we thought we’d try to address this issue by pointing the spotlight on ten bands that are often, and incorrectly, deemed “hair metal.” And to that end…

It’s easy for me to understand why some people would dub Van Halen “hair metal.” Between the Van Halen brothers and David Lee Roth’s chest/Michael Anthony’s back and arms, the band certainly had plenty of hair on-stage in their heyday. (Things changed in the reunion era, as Eddie, Alex, and Diamon Dave have all adopted more “adult” hair cuts, and Michael Anthony’s back has been replaced by Fatty Ding Dongs Van Halen’s almost-grassless playing field.) And, certainly, no band besides Kiss was more influential on the hair metal scene — for what were the glam bands if not just one long string of EVH and DLR impersonators?

And yet it is this very influence which disqualifies Van Halen from being categorized as a hair metal band — for how can they be part of a trend that they pre-dated? Call Van Halen “cock rock” and I’d be hard pressed to argue, but a bunch of Aqua Net lovin’ pretty boys Van Halen were not.

Click to read more…

Last week I debated the merits of a rumored new Van Halen/David Lee Roth reunion studio album in 2011, but it looks like that debate might be a moot point. For VH publicist/Eddie shtupper Janie Van Halen has told Rolling Stone that “What is going around is exactly that, rumors. I don’t have any updates at this time.”

Is this happy news or sad news? I  think it’s probably for the best, although I know that a lot of you (including our own Anso DF, who admonished me via e-mail for slagging “Me Wise Magic”) feel differently and would love a new Van Halen studio album, even if it did include Fatty Ding Dongs on bass.

Of course, Janie is a publicist, so it’s entirely possible she’s just completely full of shit and the new album is coming down the pipeline. I guess time will tell.

-AR

Since Axl and I are very patriotic types (couldn’t you tell?) we’ve decide to close the Mansion a bit early this holiday weekend so we can get to the flag-waving festivities as soon as possible.

Kidding! We’re closing early so we can get hiiiiigh and then go see FAITH NO FUCKING MORE! Neither one of us having seen FNM before (although I had a chance to in 1997 and, for some reason, didn’t), we’ve literally been waiting for this moment for most of our lives. We will not be schmoozing with the industry types at a bar in the back, nor will we be politely bobbing our heads on the periphery somewhere… we’ll be right up fucking front, rocking the fuck out as hard as possible (old fashioned push-pit? I hope). To that end, I’m pretty sure we won’t even be drinking tonight; me because I want to remember this night perfectly, and Axl because he doesn’t wanna have to go pee-pee during the show. The man is smart, I tell you.

Here’s what happened this week in the world of metal:

• Van Halen announced plans for a DLR-fronted album in early 2011. Axl is — shockingly — skeptical.
• As part of “Be Nice Day” at the MS Mansion, we said nothing mean about new videos from Hellyeah and Papa Roach.
• We looked at new releases by Bonded by Blood (as part of “Be Nice Day”!), Ceremony and The Ghost Inside, Mastodon, Chambers, and Nattsol.
• We premiered a new track by NJ progressive post-hardcore mind-fuckers East of the Wall.
• We spoke with Warrel Dane of Nevermore and Sanctuary, and Jon Fine about Taco Riffs.
• We sat in on the meeting in which Disturbed brainstormed the artwork for their new album.
• Glenn Danzig is a crappy driver, but Vince Neil is an even crappier one.

Since July 4th falls on a Sunday this year, the gates of the Mansion will be shuttered on Monday, July 5th — like most U.S. businesses — so we can extend the partying by an extra day. See you Tuesday, Suckers.

-VN

I had a blast when Vince and I saw the Van Halen/DLR reunion tour in 2007 — so much so that I actually considered forking over an obscene amount of money to go see the band on the second leg of the same tour, Fatty Ding Dongs Van Halen’s presence be damned. And yet, this rumor, first reported by VH fan site Van Halen News Desk, fills me with dread:

“It’s been a while since I reached out to one of my best sources of Van Halen info over the years, but it had to be done. And I got the information I was hoping for – independent confirmation from a long time source I trust that Van Halen are indeed working towards finishing recording of a long awaited new studio album with David Lee Roth, set for release sometime in the first half of 2011. A single is slated for release before the end of this year, but exact timing still remains very much up in the air. I’m told the relationship between Eddie and Dave remains as complex as ever, but there is a definite desire to get a new record completed.”

I have no doubt that this is really happening, ’cause, well, CHA-CHING! (And I have no doubt that “complex” is the nicest possible word you could use to describe the relationship between Diamond Dave and EVH — lest we forget, these two can’t even be in dressing rooms in close proximity to one another.) But why, if I had so much fun at the band’s concert, am I so terrified by the idea of a new Van Halen album?

Well, lemme ask you this: anybody remember “Can’t Get This Stuff No More” and “Me Wise Magic,” the VH/DLR reunion songs the band recorded for their 1996 greatest hits collection? Yeah, neither did I ’til I just re-listened to ‘em — and I actually bought that CD the day it came it out just for those songs alone (no illegal downloading in those days, kiddies).

Click to read more…

Nothing could ever be as fun as the DLR “Runnin’ With the Devil” isolated vocal track that hit the ‘net a couple of years ago, ’cause, ya know, David Fucking Lee Roth. But this isolated vocal track (with a few rhythm guitar parts curiously included) of Metallica’s “Fuel” posted by AfroJacks.com [via MS reader Kevin Boyce] is pretty entertaining too… ’cause, ya know, James Hetfield.

Let’s see some mash-up action with this one.

-VN

Welcome to a new feature here at MetalSucks, “Question of the Week.” Each week (duh) we’ll ask our staff a question (double duh) based around a recent hot button issue.

Unfortunately, this week there really were no hot button issues, so inspired by the Ozzfest “Unholy Matrimony” VIP package, we decided to ask our writers a silly question instead:

If you were going to be married at a metal concert, which show would it be and why?

Their answers after the jump.

Click to read more…

There are two reasons that a John 5 interview could last for days. The first is that in just more than a decade, he’s already played guitar for David Lee Roth, Rob Halford, Marilyn Manson, and now Rob Zombie, none of whom are uninteresting conversation topics. And if that got old, he could discuss what it’s like contributing songs to Filter, Garbage, Avril Lavigne, Meat Loaf, Paul Stanley, Lynyrd Skynrd, and the friggin’ Scorpions. If he still has a voice, you could next ask him about his somewhat accidental/totally awesome solo career.

The second reason is that John 5 (né John Lowery) is a total music guy. And it’s totally effortless to talk music with total music guys. You could bump into him before a show and end up blowing off the headliner just to continue a breathless discussion of Van Halen at the bar next door. I can also imagine the results if I stopped at the guitar shop on my lunch hour to find John 5 lounging against an amp: We’d innocently start comparing Rob Zombie’s band to Ozzy’s and before you know it, it’d be sundown and I would be sneaking back into the office through a window. A bus ride to the beach would be disastrous ‘cause we’d undoubtedly miss our stop by miles while merrily disputing the merits of KISS. And so on.

Sadly for me but mercifully our transcribers, my talk with John 5 last week lasted but twenty minutes. He used the word “love” a lot to genially discuss his past and present collaborators, his fifth solo album The Art of Malice (get it May 11), this year’s Mayhem tour, and the Ozzy situation last summer. After that, we just talked about Van Halen a bunch – and might’ve gone on all day. But apparently he has things to do. About a million things.

Click to read more…

“Black Sabbath,” the first song off the first album by Black Sabbath, Black Sabbath, perfectly drew up the blueprint for metal. It was gloomy, disturbing, and fucking HEAVY. It was music for outsiders, those ranging from annoyed to enraged at having to exist on the fringes of society because they were too fat/lanky/socially retarded to listen to Three Dog Night and get laid all the time. Eights years later — almost to the day — Van Halen released their eponymous debut. “Runnin’ With the Devil,” that album’s first song, is also heavy in its own right, but the near-decade length of time between the two couldn’t be more apparent. While its one-note bassline and massive riff was undeniably fucking great, it wasn’t dark anymore. In fact, it was kind of fun and incredibly catchy. It was pop music with heavy guitars.

Suddenly, things were different. Metal wasn’t frightening anymore, but a good time, and inviting. It wasn’t just for weird guys and bad girls, but for regular, well-adjusted guys and not-just-regular but pretty girls. Van Halen were unquestionably heavy on their debut, and the album was filled with songs that were not only catchy, but perhaps some of the best-crafted in rock thus far. It sold a shit-ton of copies, and metal slowly moved from being dangerous to being a blast for the better part of a decade.

Click to read more…

Of all the track debuts that floated into my inbox yesterday I was definitely NOT expecting the one by Rob Zombie / ex-Marilyn Manson guitarist John 5 to impress in any way, shape or form. But leave it up to MS Master Josh Kidd to insist we listen to John 5′s new track “The Nightmare Unravels,” from his forthcoming solo album The Art of Malice, which you can stream below [thanks: Bmouth].

Turns out the dude can absolutely rip on the guitar — I literally had no idea. I assumed that because he’s spent the better part of his career playing simple riffs in goth and sleaze rock bands that that’s all he was capable of; shame on me. “The Nightmare Unravels” is a shred-sterpiece that’s something I’d expect to hear on the new Levi / Werstler album or anything else on the Magna Carta roster. I feel like an even bigger douche because apparently John 5 played with David Lee Roth, so dude’s obviously got chops.

I guess now would be a good time for me to go and catch up on John 5′s FOUR previous solo albums before the new one comes out this Spring.

-VN

Earlier this month, System of a Down bassist Shavo Odajian caused quite a stir when he seemed to suggest, via tweet, that everyone’s favorite band whose lyrics make no sense but are apparently political was ready to reunite after more than three years away. Then, the next day, he basically sent out another tweet taking it back, which just made things more, y’know, confusing. Was he really just taking an informal poll over Twitter as to whether or not people wanted a SOAD reunion? Did he let the cat out of the bag too early? Is the poor guy just sad and bored and waiting to be in the spotlight again?

We don’t really know what the Odajian was thinking when he sent out that first tweet – but now System vocalist Serj Tankian has explicitly said that there’s no reunion planned… for now, at least. He tells Billboard:

Click to read more…

Add “David Lee Roth on the Eat ‘Em and Smile tour” to the list of tours I’d visit if I had a time machine. The Vai / Sheehan / Bissonette lineup was definitely Diamond Dave’s best… if you disagree, I’m happy to engage in an e-fight to the death.

Here’s that lineup playing “Shyboy” in Detroit in 1986. Skip to 2:10 for the Vai/Sheehan double-shredathon if that’s what you’re in it for… but I can’t imagine why you’d possibly want to miss out on DLR’s stage antics.

-VN

One of the most disappointing aspects of Guitar Hero: Metallica was that you have to play with nu-’Tallica, not the Burton or even Newstead-era band we all know and love (I’m told older versions of the Four Horsemen are available as “unlockable content,” but there’s only so many hours in the day and these snarky blogs ain’t gonna write themselves.). That being said, at least the makers had the good taste to not pretend that Robert Trujillo was in the band when they recorded Master of Puppets.

Now comes this 56-second bootleg clip of Guitar Hero: Van Halen, taken at recent nerd fest videogame convention E3. At first I was like “Sweet! Look, it’s DLR and EVH when they had long hair! CLASSIC HALEN ROOLZ!!!!”

And then I saw Fatty Ding Dongs Van Halen. Who not only wasn’t in the band during the early days of VH, he wasn’t even, y’know, FUCKING BORN YET. This like when the band tried to replace their cover art photos of Anthony with ones of Fatty Ding Dongs; even Axl Rose isn’t a big enough douche vag to try and completely re-write history. Bogus. Fucking bogus.

That all of this comes in the midst of EVH claiming and Michael Anthony denying that Anthony actually quit the band, and, well, it’s enough to make you wanna listen to fucking Chickenfoot. Christ.

-AR

So obviously the fact that there’s a Spanish version of David Lee Roth singing “Yankee Rose” is completely old news (to the tune of, oh, about 25 years), but is this shit not *still* completely hysterical or what?? I giggle on the inside just thinking about it.

David Lee Roth – “Yankee Rose” (Spanish)

Check out the DLR soundboard and DLR Ass-teroidz game for more endless bored-at-work entertainment.

Sonrisa Salvaje!

-VN

It’s a simple, yet controversial question. Vote below, then tell us why in the comments.

First person to say “Gary Cherone” gets banned.

n

If you were as endlessly entertained by the David Lee Roth soundboard as we were, then be prepared to say goodbye to productivity for the rest of your day thanks to the Diamond Dave Edition of Assteroidz [via MS reader Bill W., metalgf, Idolator and a million other sites]. In this Jumpilicious version of the classic video game, pilot a mid-split David Lee Roth as he attempts to fend off malicious Sammy Hagar and Eddie heads, VH logos and giant hamburgers.

-VN