I mean, really. The above headline is so unfair. Lots of perfectly respectable metal musicians give lessons when they’re not touring ’cause it’s a good way to make some extra money.

Of course, those musicians tend to be talented, hard working, blue collar dudes in real metal bands. And, also, y’know, musicians.

And none of those words describe John Otto, the Limp Bizkit* skinsman/resident hobbit who is now offering drum lessons for $150-$200 a pop (depending on if you want a little alone time with him or don’t mind sharing him with someone else who thought that “Rollin’” was a good song). Having never taken a drum lesson, I have no idea if that’s a fair price or not, but if I were gonna take a drum lesson and it was gonna cost me $200, I would probably want it to be with Dave Lombardo or Gene Hoglan or Paul Bostaph or Kevin Talley or Jiminy fuckin’ Cricket, or at least, like, David Silvera.

Anyways, you can get more info here. Please book something soon and help Mr. Otto get his Ferrari out of the shop – Fred and Wes tell him the LB reunion is still at least a year off and he really, really needs that car to get laid.

-AR

*Frodo – uh, that is, Otto – is apparently also in a band called The Killer and the Star, but I think even fewer people have heard of them than have heard of Black Light Burns.

-AR

Well, so much for Fear and the Nervous System.

There’s a rumor floating around that Korn’s original line-up – including Jesus Freak Head and David “I Was Always the Only Decent Thing About this Band” Silvera – may be reuniting.

Of course, we always knew that this would happen someday – there’s too much money to be made for it not to happen – but I thought it was still a ways off. I envisioned some kind of package shed tour where Korn co-headlined with Limp Bizkit, kind of like the nu metal equivalent of those Poison/Cinderalla-type tours that happen every summer, but, y’know, without all that 80s nostalgia baggage. But I guess Head prayed on it and God told him it was okay (either that, or he saw Dan Spitz do that Anthrax reunion and figured “To Hell with it”) and Silvera realized that sitting on your ass doing nothing doesn’t pay that well.

All we can do now is hope the band isn’t on some package tour with bands we actually want to see. I’ve been forced to sit through a Korn set or two in my day and I can tell you, it ain’t pleasant.

ANYWAY, here’s a clip of Korn guesting on an episode of South Park however many years ago, which is pretty much the only context I’d ever actually want to watch this band.

[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/TS-ITsdE2_A" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

-AR

HOLY SHIT. Munky has just left Korn mid-tour due to “personal and family reasons.” That’s right: Korn’s current European jaunt will now feature a whopping two original members.

I mean, I suppose that Munky might return to the band, the same way that it seems the door is perpetually open for David Silvera to return someday – but really, who the fuck are we kidding? Silvera’s been away for well over a year and missed an entire album (two if you count the incredibly misguided Unplugged), and I wouldn’t be surprised if Munky is done for good, too – especially in light of the fact that he’s rumored to be recording a solo album.

I guess the real question now is, will the band be able to maintain any of its fan base with just its singer and bassist present? I mean, none of these dudes are exactly top-notch musicians, and their replacements are all generally better players than they are. At the same time, Davis doesn’t have the mystique of an Axl Rose or the reputation for being a creative mastermind like Dave Mustaine or Erik Rutan or Tim Roth, so I can’t see people caring now that the band is a borderline solo-act (sorry if I’m downplaying Fieldy’s contributions – assuming he makes a contribution).

The good news for Korn fans is that the faster this act falls apart, the sooner the inevitable overblown Motley Crue-style reunion tour will take place.

-AR