MetalSucks

I don’t know what it is, but ever since I was a young guy I’ve typically had an aversion to trends, especially in music. Going to punk shows during my high school years, I’d laugh to myself at all the kids with the same spiky hair and leather jackets, who were obviously into the fashion or “scene” aspect of the music, rather than the music itself (of which, I’ll admit, I’m somewhat embarrassed to have been such a purist). More than a decade later, I haven’t really changed at all. I can’t help but write off many new bands these days, whether it’s a retro-thrash band named after an old Anthrax song, a long winded “post-metal” band with nautical themes, a bubble-lettered stoner rock band, a flat-brimmed nu-deth-shuggah band, or, quite possibly the most hilarious of them all, any black metal band still wearing corpsepaint that isn’t Immortal. All of this stuff comes off as tired and derivative to me, and with any style of music that becomes trendy, the posing is just too obvious.

But, I’m not here today to talk shit on popular bands. I’m here to talk to you all about a once relevant subgenre of music known as power metal, that couldn’t be further from “cool” right now. A friend of mine once referred to power metal as “the new punk rock” as if to say that at least playing punk music these days will get you laid. If someone is playing power metal, it’s probably because they are 100% down with that shit, regardless of how silly they may look to the rest of the world. And that, I have nothing but respect for.

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Alright! After an initial slow news week, 2010 is finally start to get back into the swing of things. Here are some highlights from this week:

• Vince got an exclusive interview with Obituary/ex-Andrew W.K. drummer Donald Tardy about the AWK conspiracy mystery. We also spoke to Richard Christy and Pelican’s Larry Herwig.
• We debuted new music by The Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza, Karnivool, and Blood of the Tyrant.
• Dallas is giving away free music, Eyal’s faith in metalheads has been restored, and Justin pontificated on the format wars.
• These Arms Are Snakes are done…
• …but System of a Down are reuniting! Or maybe not. But maybe.
• The dude from Weedeater shot himself in the foot. Literally.
• We’re sponsoring The Red Chord’s Burgers & Bowling tour!
• Underoath don’t like abortions.

Next week we’ll have some previews of 2010 releases we’re stoked on for you. And Vince is gonna be in sunny Los Angeles, so you poor-ass muthafuckas is stuck with me. BWA-HA-HA-HA!!!

-AR

If all Richard Christy ever did was play drums on Death’s phenomenal final album The Sound of Perseverance, it would be enough to secure his place in heavy metal Valhalla. That death metal classic gained so much from Christy’s nuanced performance that it’s almost criminal that he isn’t mentioned alongside your Lombardos, Reinerts and Dailors as one of the most creative drummers in extreme music. But you won’t find Christy complaining about lack of recognition, especially since he’s been so busy in the decade since Death’s demise. To fill in the gaps between his film directing and acting gigs (Christy played a Ku Klux Klansman in Harold and Kumar Go To Guantanamo), Christy has drummed for Iced Earth, Incantation, Acheron and Demons and Wizards. Of course that was all before he began his tenure as the resident prank caller on The Howard Stern Show. In fact, the only thing missing on Christy’s CV is a successful musical project of his own. That’s all looking to change with the forthcoming debut album by Charred Walls of the Damned, his new metal band with the ridiculous lineup of guitarist Jason Suecof (member of Capharnaum; producer/mixer for The Black Dahlia Murder/Trivium/All That Remains), bass god Steve DiGiorgio (Sadus/Death/Autopsy) and caterwauling vocalist Tim “Ripper” Owens (Judas Priest/Iced Earth). Christy took some time to yak with MetalSucks about his many career paths and the truly bizarre genesis of that band name.

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I almost never know what to say when attempting to commemorate someone’s death. But reader Paul Lakomski reminded us that today is the anniversary, and it just felt like we have to do something to remember the man and what he did for the music we love. There are so many bands that just wouldn’t exist if not for Death, it seems like the least we can do is take a few minutes to honor Chuck’s legacy.

Here’s the video for Death’s “Lack of Comprehension.”

And here’s Control Denied’s “The Fragile Art of Existence.”

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Did you know that if you eat before you start slamming shots, you’ll get a little less drunk, but you’ll also have something to vomit up later? It’s true. Also, sometimes when you smoke weed, you get the munchies. These are just two great reasons why you should care about Hellbent for Cooking: The Heavy Metal Cookbook by Annick “Morbid Chef” Giroux. Showcasing “a varied menu of over a hundred recipes from thirty countries,” Hellbent for Cooking features recipes by members of Accept, Anthrax, Anvil, Armored Saint, Brutal Truth, Death, Electric Wizard, Eyehategod, Gwar, Judas Priest, Kreator, Mayhem, Melechesh, Nuclear Assault, Obituary, Repulsion, Saint Vitus, Sepultura, Sigh, S.O.D., Slough Feg, Thin Lizzy, Toxic Holocaust, and about a trillion others (you can get a complete list of contributing bands here).

MetalSucks is teaming up with Bazillion Points Publishing to give away three (3) copies of Hellbent for Cooking. All you have to do to win is create a picture that somehow connects metal to food and post a link to someplace we can view said picture in the comments section below. Use Photoshop to create an image of Lemmy eating a hot dog, use MS Paint to do a portrait of Metallica as the pepperonis on a pizza, whatever you want – it just has to be both food and metal related, and it has to amuse us. Vince and I will choose the three pics that make us laugh the hardest and those pics’ creators win the book.

This contest will end at midnight EST on Monday, December 14. Please note that this contest is open to U.S. residents only, as shipping costs are a bitch. And if you’re too lazy to participate, you can always just order a copy of the book here.

Good luck, and good eats…

-AR

I don’t know who you are, Stefanie Heinzmann, but give yourself a big ol’ pat on the back. You’ve managed to make Avril Lavigne look like Chuck Schulinder. I’d rather listen to Attack Attack! cover Katy Perry, fer Chrissakes.

I’m saying this sucks.

MS Maniac Charlie Famer sent this to us, and claims that it was a big hit in Switzerland last year. Assuming that’s true, I’d just like to take this moment to say suck it, Switzerland.

-AR

Noisecreep have unveiled their list of the Top 10 Death Metal Debut Albums (although the list is in no particular order), courtesy Friend of MetalSucks, Carlos Ramirez.

And for once, I don’t actually have any complaints. The list is pretty good.

That being said, I’m sure you folks will find something to bitch about, so… have at it!!!

-AR

So this Burning Human record ended up being really fucking cool. Any time early press about a band loudly touts the fact that the band features a member of another more famous band (in this case drum-guru Jason Bittner of Shadows Fall) I’m naturally skeptical; but about 5 seconds of the new song “Tormented Mind” was really all I needed to convince me that Burning Human is completely capable of standing on their own as a brutal, crushing death metal band. Honestly, this is some of the finest straight up death metal I’ve heard since Bloodbath’s The Fathomless Mastery decimated my brain last year. “Tormented Mind” comes from their new album Ressurection Through Fire, produced by the legendary James Murphy (Death) and out on Koch/E1 tomorrow. Download it for no charge, guilt-free, below! Check out Burning Human’s MySpace page for an extra streaming track. Enjoy. [Click the below link to stream and download]

Burning Human – “Tormented Mind”

-VN

A full 4 days before the March 3rd release of their Metal Blade Records debut The Onslaught, MetalSucks is pleased to offer the entire record of Wisconsin thrash upstarts Lazarus A.D. for free, streaming right here. The Onslaught was mixed by the infamous James Murphy (Death, Testament, Obituary) and contains 10 tracks of vicious thrash that pay due respect to their ’80s forefathers without simply ripping them off; there’s a slew of modern influences here too. The Onslaught will be streaming here until release day, so listen while you can and then be sure to buy the record when it comes out. Enjoy! Click the “read more…” link to listen.

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Can you think of a more fitting way to celebrate bloody ol’ St. Valentine’s Day than by a couple tunes from the legendary band Death?

Me neither. Here’s the first two tracks from 1995’s Symbolic…

DEATH - “Symbolic”

DEATH – “Zero Tolerance”

-KW

1. The box office success of Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Doesn’t it seem like this movie should just be some kind of Darwinian trick – like anyone who buys a ticket is automatically deemed too stupid to live and is consequently immediately shot in the head?
2. The virus-like spreading of the Valley Girl accent to women all across America. This is why the terrorists hate us. These women’s tubes should be involuntarily tied (with no anesthesia) to prevent the furthering of their wretched species.
3. Fucktards who think it’s okay to hold the fucking elevator fucking door and have a conversation with a friend when there are other people on the elevator who presumably want to get wherever they’re going. I think I should be allowed to kill their families while they watch.
4. This asshole. His point is…?
5. Anyone not loving Death. ‘Nuff said.
   

-AR

U.K. prog-death-thrashers (yeah, I said it) Sylosis are without a doubt one of the young bands that interest me most in 2009, thanks in no small part to the urging of several MetalSucks readers. Their Nuclear Blast debut Conclusion of an Age is a refreshing burst of modern thrash and death metal, rolled into a nicely accessible little package and sprinkled with prog influences that show the maturity and restraint of a band twice their young age. We’ll post an official MetalSucks review shortly, but in the meantime I was able to catch up with guitarist Josh Middleton to ask him a few questions about the formation of the band, the events that led to their deal with Nuclear Blast, their upcoming touring plans and their metal heroes.

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Those uproarious chaps over at Metal Inquisition have compiled what they claim to be the Ultimate Florida Death Metal Mix (and, really, it’s tough to argue with them). The maverick known only as “Gene Hoglan’s Balls” writes:

“I love all kinds of death metal, but if I had to pick just one to listen to for the rest of my life it would be Florida Death Metal. And if I could only listen to one song from each of my favorite Florida Death Metal bands for the rest of my life I would come up with Metal Inquisition’s Ultimate Florida Death Metal Mix. If you’re a fan of Florida Death Metal, then you will love this. If you don’t know anything about Florida Death Metal, then prepare to be schooled.”

Fair enough. Lucky for all of you mavericks, copyright laws mean little to nothing these days, so the mix is avail as a free download. Get the full track listing and links to the download after the jump.

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Metal Inquisition posted the below video of former Death drummer/current Howard Stern lackey Richard Christy on CNN having a serious discussion about Lehman Brothers’ declaration of bankruptcy. And by “having a serious discussion,” I mean “making out with another dude.”

Well, at least he didn’t yell “Baba Booey.”

-AR

Aletheian can certainly play their instruments, and there are some pretty cool musical passages on their Ironclad Recordings / Metal Blade debut Dying Vine, out today — but unfortunately their musical ambitions end up being like a gun to the foot. To be sure, the seeming ease at which these four dudes have honed their crafts is pretty impressive; The Pennsylvania-based quartet work their way around a progressive death metal shell, weaving in elements of melodeath, progressive metal, and classic metal into their multi-pronged attack. But despite the quality of the ingredients, 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 ends up equaling something less than four as Dying Vine — which was independently recorded and released in 2005 — falls short in the songs department. The album ends up being a somewhat tedious 40-minute listen, as each of the ten songs suffers from a severe case of ADD that makes it rather difficult to pinpoint any of them as standouts. I totally “get” the idea of not being bound by writing within a traditional song-structure, but the specific way Aletheian have chosen to defy convention is ultimately to their detriment as there is neither much of anything to latch onto or any groundbreaking, new ideas. Some moments offer promise; the solo in “Open Grave,” middle section of “Call to Arms” and Opethian classical acoustics of “How Could I” (among other songs), but those moments are fleeting and far between. Where bands like Opeth and Dream Theater have done this with great success, as have bands like At the Gates and Death on the other side of the coin — all of whom have no doubt influenced Aletheian — Dying Vine just doesn’t hit the right balance and ends up a frustrating, wandering trip in a large, expansive metropolis.

-VN

(one and a half out of five horns)

[Aletheian on MySpace]

With a Death psuedo-reunion in the works — guitarist Shannon Hamm, bassist Scott Clendenin, and guitarist Bobby Koelbe and Death drum roadie (and Autumn Offering drummer) Jonathan Lee have teamed up and are in search of a vocalist (aspiring vocalists may email beyondunknown67@gmail.com with demo material) — will this mish-mash of musicians from different eras of Death be “revolutionary” as the press release declares? Will the legend of Chuck Schuldiner live on or will his legacy be shat upon, even though the group will presumably not perform under the Death moniker?

-VN

Our boy Jimmy Duff (pictured, left), namesake of the vaulted metal palace of Brooklyn, recently did a late-night, Pabst-fueled interview with ex-Death, ex-Iced Earth drummer (and current Howard Stern show comedian) Richard Christy. Christy talks about Amon Amarth, drinking, his job with Stern, horror films, and more. An excerpt from the chat:

I met Chuck [Shuldiner, of Death] at a bookstore in Altamont Springs in Florida, and I just told him I was a huge fan, me and the guitar player from Burning Inside we were both there and we were freakin’ out, we were like “Wow, there’s Chuck.” And he was the nicest guy in the world. He stopped and talked to us for a long time. And then after that, my goal was, after I moved to Florida, I moved there with Burning Inside, but I always had this dream in the back of my head, wow, it would be so cool to jam with Chuck and play in the band Death. And, through some good friends of mine, Rick Rinstrum, and BC Richards who played in a band called Wicked Ways in Orlando Florida, they introduced me to Chuck … When Chuck was looking for a drummer, and I auditioned. Luckily I had been practicing Death songs for about 6 or 7 years at the time because I was a huge Death fan. So, Chuck hired me for the band and that was like a dream come true because Death was my favorite, favorite metal band, and Chuck was a super nice guy, we had so many great times on tour… And it’s an honor to have played with my favorite metal band.

Read the entire interview at Duff’s Website.

-VN