The participants of the latest edition of Donald Trump’s The Celebrity Apprentice have been announced, and in case you’re for some reason reading this but haven’t glanced at the headline, the cast will include Twisted Sister vocalist Dee Snider. I’m guessing he was included because the show apparently had a lot of success with Poison’s Bret Michaels — a fact I completely missed until I walked into my local corner store one day and saw a Michaels/Apprentice-themed Snapple flavor — and someone thought getting another famous 80s vocalist who used to dress like an ugly woman would be a good idea. Whether or not Snider’s is famous enough for anyone outside the geriatric metal community remains to be seen, though — despite having a reality show of his own, I don’t feel like Snider has been in the mainstream media as much as Michaels these past few years.

Snider’s competitors will include Arsenio Hall, Clay Aiken, George Takei, Lisa Lampanelli, Debbie Gibson, and, most excitingly of all, Lou Ferrigno. So if I was Snider, I’d be shitting my drawers. No fucking way he can beat The Incredible Hulk, right?

-AR

[via Deadline]

According to Deadline, it’s a possibility — Cruise has apparently been offered the role of “Dennis,” a bartender, in the upcoming feature film adaptation of the hit Broadway show, which recycles cock rock anthems into a story about young love or some such nonsense. I haven’t seen the show, but Deadline says that while it’s only a supporting role, Cruise  ”would get to belt out a bunch of 80s hair band tunes.” I love how they wrote “get to” — as though somewhere Tom Cruise is sitting around, calling his agents, screaming “Why haven’t I played a role where I sing old hair metal songs yet?!? GET ON IT!!!”

In any case, Cruise hasn’t accepted the part yet, so this could all end up being just some film exec’s wet dream. But what I find really hilarious about the whole situation is that, on Broadway, the role of “Dennis” is currently being played by Dee Snider. Because these two look appropriate for the same part, right?

-AR

I know what you’re thinking: “Two Limp Bizkit-related stories in as many days! What did we ever do to be so lucky?” What can I say? This entire week has felt like one long hangover.

So. Fred Durst’s feature film directorial debut, a would-be Sundance hit called The Education of Charlie Banks, was a barely-watchable piece of shit that failed to make so much as a dent in public awareness; his second film, the Ice Cube family sports drama The Longshots, tanked at the box office. But Durst gives great head (for dudes… he can’t find the clit so he’s pretty useless for women) and people are stupid, so he’s swindled someone into letting him make another movie. From Noisecreep:

“Durst is also directing his third feature film. The third film is dubbed ‘Pawn Shop Chronicles,’ and it follows a protagonist through a world of skinheads and meth heads thanks to a missing wedding ring. The film is slated to go into production early next year.”

Click to read more…

Sebastian Bach and, to a somewhat lesser extent, Corey Glover and, to a definitely lesser extent, Paul Stanley have all had some success doing theatrical musicals, be it on Broadway or elsewhere; now Dee Snider wants in on that action, and has joined the cast of Rock of Ages, the hit Broadway jukebox musical that incorporates 80′s music that is still remembered fondly by the bridge and tunnel crowd — e.g., Poison, Journey, etc. He’ll be in the show for eleven weeks, from October 11 through December 24.

And why not? Snider’s vocal talents were never on the level of guys like Glover and Bach, but live videos that I just watched on YouTube (like the one above) tell me that his voice is still in surprisingly good shape. Plus, he already dresses like Liza Manelli, so he’ll fit right in on The Great White Way.

And it’s a genius stroke on the part of the producers; the people who wanna see this show are definitely gonna know who Snider is, and be all the happier to buy a ticket to see him. It makes you wonder why no one thought of this sooner, or if anyone besides Snider was ever approached to be in the show.

Also, if Snider’s eight-shows-a-week (!) commitment to Rock in any way slows the production of Strangeland 2, than it can only be a good thing.

Meanwhile, it was just about a year ago that a Rock of Ages movie adaptation was announced, to be directed by Adam Shankman, the man behind such Cannes Film Festival Palme D’Or winners as Cheaper by the Dozen 2. But there’s been no news of that project since, so it’s either dead or stuck in development hell. Either way, the human race wins… for now.

-AR

I like Twisted Sister as much as the next guy dressed like a girl in football pads, but would I ever consider naming a village after Dee Snider? No. No, I would not. I’m sorry, but the mind behind the Strangeland franchise is just not worthy of commemorated in such a way. You wanna settle The Township of Townsend? Fine, I’m all for it. Turn Osborne, Australia into Osbourne, Australia? I’ll get behind that just ’cause of Ozzy’s legacy. Dimebagopolis? I will happily attend the ribbon-cutting ceremony.

But Dee Snider? Fuck would I name someplace after Dee Snider for?

And yet, that’s exactly what one small community in Ohio is doing:

Cridersville, Ohio, a village near Lima, plans to change its name for a day in honor of Twisted Sister frontman Dee Snider, who is visiting town to host a March of Dimes Bikers for Babies ride.

At least it’s only for the day I guess. ‘Cause I understand that Dee Snider is probably the biggest celebrity ever to willfully come to Cridersville, but, y’know. Have some PRIDE, people.

Come up with your favorite metal-musician’s-name-turned-into-a-town-name pun in the comments section below.

-AR

Additional reporting by Satan Rosenbloom.

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Welcome to “Question of the Week,” a (sometimes) weekly debate amongst the MetalSucks staff regarding a recent hot button issue.

Inspired this week by the rumor that Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler may be a new judge on American Idol, we decided to ask our writers:

IF YOU HAD TO PICK ONE METAL MUSICIAN TO BE A JUDGE ON AMERICAN IDOL, WHO WOULD IT BE AND WHY?

The MS staff’s answers after the jump.

Click to read more…

As I understand it, Family Jewels, the show about Gene Simmons, pushover softcore porn star Shannon Tweed, their plagiarizing son Nick, and their daughter Sophie (who, amazingly, I currently can find no ways to insult), is still going strong – but I guess the execs at A&E thought that if one show about a grown man who plays dress-up for a living was a hit, a second would be twice as nice. ‘Cause Blabs is saying that Dee Snider and his family are getting their own A&E reality program, to be called Growing Up Twisted.

Click to read more…

It’s hard for me to talk smack about Dee Snider, because as far as I can tell, he’s a pretty cool dude.

Unfortunately, being a cool dude doesn’t make you a good filmmaker, and if you ever saw the 1998 horror flick Strangeland, which Snider wrote and co-starred in as the villainous “Captain Howdy” (seriously), you’re probably very aware that Snider is not a good filmmaker. Unless the film has aged incredibly well, which I find hard to believe – it sucked when it was released, so I dunno what twelve years would do for it. The best thing about the movie then, and I suspect now, was the soundtrack, which had a bunch of metal bands on it like Pantera, Megadeth, and, unfortunately, Snot.

I guess Snider’s not giving up the dream of having his own horror franchise, though. Apparently Strangeland spawned a prequel comic (which I somehow missed… oh well), and now C.H.U.D. reports that Snider is making a sequel, Strangeland: Disciple, with a budget of five million dollars.

Who the hell is giving Dee Snider five million dollars to make a sequel to a film no one really seemed to like in the first place? I have no idea, but here’s the plot synopsis:

Click to read more…

I know this may be old news by now, but Twisted Sister vocalist Dee Snider has said he wants to do a Broadway musical based on the band’s holiday album, A Twisted Christmas. While I’m sure Sebastian Bach is very excited that he may get to return to the stage soon to give us another winning performance, I’m not entirely convinced that this musical will ever really come to pass; just this morning, Variety did a story about investors feeling kinda wary of giving money to the Great White Way in light of the current economy, and I don’t know that the lure of TS is strong enough in 2008 to put dollar signs in anyone’s eyes.

So, for now, just try to imagine this on a Broadway stage:

Well… it can’t be any worse than Strangeland… can it?

-AR