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When we spoke with Dethklok mastermind Brendon Small to put together the Rigged piece we published yesterday, Small gave us a little information on a new project he’s working on — a Brendon Small solo record. The existence of such a record has been known for some time — according to the omnipotent Wikipedia, anyway — but we got Brendon to tell us a little bit more about what the record has in store for us:
As part of our coverage of this year’s Rockstar Energy Drink Mayhem Festival – currently winding its way through North America — we’re bringing you a series of “Rigged” columns in which several of the tour’s musicians take you on piece-by-piece guides of their current live rig setups. Check out the rigs of Machine Head’s Phil Demmel, Unearth’s Buz McGrath, Hatebreed’s Wayne Lozinak and In Flames’ Peter Iwers. Saturday, July 9 was Dethklok’s only performance of 2011, taking Megadeth’s place on the festival bill in San Bernardino, California, but band mastermind Brendon Small was kind enough to enlighten us about his rig anyway. Here he is:
Hello, MetalSucks! This is Brendon Small from Dethklok… let’s take a look at my rig:
Last week, we posted a mash-up of Coldplay and System of a Down that’s actually quite good; subsequently, a reader calling himself Bayon Etwork sent us a link to a mash-up of Coldplay and Dethklok that, while not as good as the System of a Coldplay song, still works pretty well. Check it out and see what you think:
And now, if you listen carefully, I think you can actually hear Charles Foster Ofdensen filing legal papers.
-AR
Remember MS reader “Whiskey,” he who shaved his epic beard to win that Slayer Vinyl Conflict box set? If you somehow missed that story, well, now’s your chance to check it out. It involves Slayer, beards, and shaving beards in the name of Slayer; what else do you need to know?
One month later, here’s an update from the man himself:
Well, I just now realized that it’s already been a month since the shave… I’ve been reveling in my Slayer boxset, which I was surprised to receive less than a week after the shave and while my face was still on fire…What can I say? That box set sure does make me more productive around the house. I mean, you do dishes during “God Hates Us All” and tell me you didn’t accomplish the task in record time.
Since there was no necessity to shave anymore, I really just didn’t feel like it, and am starting on EPIC BEARD #2, THE BEARD THAT DESTROYS BEARD #1… sorry. I feel I have more dignity this way.
Congrats to reader David Toohey, who correctly identified last week’s logo as belonging to the band Beatus. David wins a signed copy of Mosh Potatoes: Recipes, Anecdotes, and Mayhem from the Heavyweights of Heavy Metal, the incredible new metal-themed cookbook from Moth Eater bassist Steve Seabury. Congrats, David!
This week we have another awesome prize to give away: two (2) copies of Metalocalypse season 3 on DVD, and one (1) copy on Blu-Ray. This shit needs no introduction. It’s Metalocalypse, one of the best shows on television and one of the greatest feats of cinemetal in history. You know you want this!!! So get crack-a-lack-a-lackin’ on figuring out this week’s logo.
All you gots to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail at axl AT metalsucks DOT net with your answer, your name, and your address. ALL ENTRIES WITHOUT AN ADDRESS WILL BE DISQUALIFIED. Also, PLEASE BE SURE TO SPECIFY IN YOUR E-MAIL IF YOU WANT A DVD COPY OR A BLU-RAY COPY SHOULD YOU WIN, as we obviously don’t have enough Blu-Rays to go around. From everyone who gets it right, we’ll randomly select three winners announce his or her name next week.
This week’s logo was suggested by reader Eamon Scarbrough, and it’s a doozy…
-AR
So I know it’s unusual for us to post at 1 a.m., but I just got done watching the long-overdue return of Metalocalypse, and presumably a lot of you just got done watching it, too, so we might as well get talkin’ about it while our thoughts are still fresh.
Personally… I loved it. The show hasn’t lost any of its satirical punch (the Facebones sexual harassment video should be shown in every office in the world), the writers continue to prove that they can sustain a story for the extended format, there was an abundance of quotable lines (My personal favorite: “Don’t forget, keep the fifteenth open so you can deposit your sperm into my vagina with your penis.”), and, oh yeah, Kirk Hammett utilizing decades of personal research to cameo as a dong.
Awesome. Totally awesome.
And the teaser for next week promises a skewering of rap metal bands. I can’t even tell you how excited I am for that.
Alright. Weigh in with your thoughts on the episode below. Hopefully you were all as satisfied as I was.
-AR
Holy shit, I have no idea how I’m just finding out about this, but apparently the new season of Metalocalypse begins this Sunday, September 26, at 12:30 a.m. on Adult Swim. It feels like it’s been forever since we got new episodes, doesn’t it?
We don’t have much info in the way of guest appearances or whatever, but here’s a quick plot summary of the episode:
“Toki swears off rock and roll sluts to find a REAL relationship. Meanwhile, Murderface bets everything that he can sleep with more women than Skwisgaar, consequently landing himself in a sexual harassment seminar. Can Toki beat his new lady mate’s biological clock?”
Sounds good to me! To get you in the mood, here’s an Ode to Murderface:
And Monday morning we can all hover around the proverbial water cooler and discuss.
-AR
So in case the animation style didn’t immediately tip you off, Metalocalypse co-creator Brendon Small directed the video for “Black Rain,” the new old Soundgarden song that was recorded during the Badmotorfinger sessions and has nothing to do with the painfully mediocre Ozzy album of the same title.
Thing is, the video features a cameo (actually multiple cameos) by Dethklok and Charles Foster Offdensen, that “band”‘s manager/lawyer/CFO. And while that’s a good way to lure in young ‘uns who maybe love Dethklok but don’t remember Soundgarden, it strikes me as being wildly out-of-place — I mean, I don’t think the Dethklok dudes would be Soundgarden fans. Even if they found the music br00tal enough (which I don’t think they would), I imagine that Chris Cornell’s consistently, uh, questionable artistic decisions would be enough to warrant extreme violence from Nathan Explosion and the gang.
Yep. I’m speculating on the feelings and aesthetic criticisms of a cartoon band. Just another day here at MetalSucks.
ANYWAY, potential character inconsistencies aside, this video is pretty cool. Check it out below, then let us know if you think Dethklok would dig Soundgarden or not in the comments section.
“Black Rain” will appear on Soundgarden’s new greatest hits collection, Telephantasm, which comes out September 28.
-AR
I think Exodus are just swell. And Jon Schnepp, who directed this video, also directs Metalocalypse, and had a lot to do with the design of that terrific show.
So I’m giving everyone a free pass. I’m not gonna make fun of the video. The song is great and if some of you watch this and check out Exodus’ Exhibit B: The Human Condition as a result, well, that would be great. And then maybe next time, Exodus, you release anything that isn’t this as a video, okay? Deal?
Exhibit B: The Human Condition is out now on Nuclear Blast.
-AR
WARNING: Bobbi sent us a new portrait of herself to use this month, and while we’re very excited about the picture (in more ways than one), it is very much NSFW, so we’ve had to put it after the jump. Enjoy, you horn dogs.
Nathan Explosion, the always ironic, always self-parodying, and always cool animated front man of Dethklok, once resolved to make the most metal coffee the world would ever see. What would make it metal? By making it blacker than the blackest black, times infinity.
In the same way, I am looking to make porn metal by making it harder than the hardest hardcore, times infinity. Admittedly, it’s a much easier job than making coffee metal, since porn easily fits into one — or two, depending on the performer we’re talking about — of the holy triumvirate pantheon of sex, drugs and rock n’ roll. (Though if you’re a Mormon, coffee would be a drug, and therefore metal. But being a Mormon would not be metal, so the two would cancel each other out. Therefore you’d have to do nasty, filthy porn like Belladonna to be metal. but I digress.)
In fact, AVN, the trade magazine of the porn industry, was eagerly anticipating the crossover of rock and porn for most of the ’90s, like a crazed Christian fundamentalist convinced that Jesus was due back any day now. This anticipation was replaced in the 2000s by the crossover of rap and porn that was going to happen any day, which, strangely enough, also did not happen. (My publicist is eagerly awaiting the inevitable madrigal/porn crossover that will happen this decade. Hey nonny nonny, indeed.)
It’s been so long since Konami announced Metalocalypse: Dethgame that I’d completely forgotten about it. The title was supposed to be released last fall as a downloadable game via the XBOX Live Arcade and Playstation Network stores, but now we’re quickly barreling towards this fall (scary) and we haven’t heard any updates.
Well, guess why? From IncGamers:
Remember the third season of Metalocalypse? ‘Cause I barely do. Not that I don’t love the show — it just feels like it aired so goddamn long ago. What happened? How many episodes were there? I remember they got longer, but… that’s about it. Sheesh.
Luckily, I can soon refresh my memory: Noisecreep tells me that the third season is coming to DVD and Blu-Ray — the latter being a first for the program — on November 2. In addition to looking purdier on Blu-Ray, that version of the disc will come with some extra extra features, including “Nathan Explosion reading from William Shakespeare’s Othello and five music videos that were featured on Dethklok’s last tour.” Holy shit, that sounds like fun. Do you think Nathan plays Iago? I would actually put on my Sunday best and go to a theater on Broadway and pay real money to see Nathan Explosion as Iago. [deep, growly Nathan Explosion voice] “I am, uh, not what I am.” I’m suddenly SO HAPPY I made the switch Blu-Ray (the dying format of physical media be damned!), I can’t even tell you.
And then hopefully at some point in the near future we’ll get more Metalocalypse episodes at a consistent enough rate that I won’t completely forget what happened.
-AR
When we first heard about Diamondsnake, Moby’s new metal band with Dave “King of Metal” Hill and some other dudes, I had some questions about how they would walk that very line between actually-funny joke metal band (e.g., Gwar, Dethklok, etc.), and just-plain-stupid joke metal band.
And now that they’ve released a video, for the song “Storm the Fucking Kastle,” the answer has become apparent: they’re not going to walk that line. They are going to be very firmly on the side of just-plain-stupid joke metal band.
This video plays like the kind of thing you make with some friends for fun – but just because it makes you and your buddies laugh doesn’t mean it will do anything for the outside world. (I kinda suspect this is how SNL is written these days, too – I’m sure the “What Up with That” sketches seem hilarious in the writers’ room, but they’re really just tedious and dumb.) All the jokes here are obvious and consequently unfunny; it’s almost bordering on the level of a band like The Darkness, where I’m not even sure that people involved have any genuine affection for metal. In fact, if not for Hill’s presence, I’d say they don’t have any genuine affection for metal.
Check out the clip below, then agree or disagree with me in the comments section.
-AR
[via Metal Insider]
We knew that there would be a video for “More Metal Than You,” the song Brian Posehn co-wrote with Scott Ian for the former’s new album, Fart and Wiener Jokes, and here it is. (Also worth noting: the song features additional guest appearances by Lamb of God’s Mark Morton, Death Angel’s Mark Osegueda, Armored Saint’s Joey Vera, Dethklok’s Brendon Small, the always fashionable John Tempesta, and The Donnas’ Brett Anderson.) The animation style is fairly simple, but there are some real gems in here – including a moment when Posehn head-butts Sharon Osbourne, and then Ozzy gives him a high-five. Oh, if only Ozzy really did recognize that Sharon is a problem.
True story: when I first heard this song, I thought Posehn was saying “My cat’s name is ‘metal.’” In fact, until five minutes ago when I watched this video, I didn’t realize he was saying “Manowar.” Still really funny, though.
Fart and Wiener Jokes is out now on Relapse. I’m giving a copy away for this week’s Completely Unreadable Band Logo contest, so enter that shit now. Also, if you haven’t done so already, check out my interview with Posehn right here.
-AR
Who the hell is that lady behind Brendon Small and why is she undressing me with her eyes?
Amongst the many fashionable celebs* our platonic life partners at Metal Injection interviewed on the Revolver Golden Gods Awards blarpet was Metalocalypse co-creator/general Dethklok mastermind Brendon Small. Mostly they make pretty typical pre-award show small talk (Small talk?), but Brendon does reveal that he’s working on a solo album. Only, it’s not really a solo album. Or any different from Dethklok. To wit, Mr. Small reveals the following:
I’m really, really disappointed in you, male MetalSucksians. After reader Ashley sent in some epic photos of herself in a MetalSucks hoodie and not very much else, I predicted we’d get an identical pic from a wise-ass dude by the end of the week. Nope. Either no one thought of it, or no one had the balls to do it. For shame. And now what are the three ladies who actually read this site to look at? Pics of Lars Ulrich’s dick?
Oh well. Here are some other things that happened this week:
And next week I expect you, our beloved readers, to be back up to your usual level of witty repartee.
-AR
Season 1, Episode 1 “The Curse of Dethklok”
In what will be a continuing feature of this column, I am going to watch episodes of Metalocalypse and analyze any of the issues that come up. Some episodes have more issues than others, so I might not get through all of the issues in an episode in a given post. Really, I just want to be able to say that watching Metalocalypse is productive work for me.
In the first episode, Dethklok requires that fans sign “pain waivers” to release the band from liability at the Duncan Hills Coffee Jingle Batsfjord MassacreFest. Obviously thinking ahead of what can and will happen at their shows, it seems like a good plan for Dethklok, as the show results in fans being crushed, burned, dissolved, or otherwise maimed or killed. But could a waiver really allow Dethklok to escape liability for the deaths of hundreds of fans?
Click to read more…
Then why not piss it away on a pissing fountain? I’m guessing not many Dethklok fans have $40,000 of discretionary income, but if you happen to be so fortunate/stupid you can spend it on a perfect replica of the fountain that decorates the nightmarish foyer of Dethklok’s luxurious and deadly estate. The fountain is made of marble, measures approximately 66″ in height with a 96″ basin diameter and is made to order. The $40,000 price tag does not include shipping (U.S. and Caribbean only) and requires a $13,000 deposit to weed out the jokers. The ad boasts “Seriously, this is real.” And seriously… this is real.
I love how the creators of Metalocalypse have created their own self-fulfilling prophecy of Dethklok being the biggest band in the world. What other band can sell ANY piece of merch for $40,000? Let alone a fake band and an item that isn’t even autographed or cummed on? Unbelievable / awesome.
If you’re one of the suckers lucky chaps who can buy one of these, kindly tell them MetalSucks sent you so we can get a sweet commission!
-VN
Hello. My name is Antonin Skullia, Esq., and I’m the newest contributor to MetalSucks. I am fully licensed by one of jurisdictions of the United States as an Attorney and Counsellor at Law. I’ve been listening to metal since Metallica’s Black Album came out when I was in middle school. During law school, I spent two years as a member of the street team for one of the metal labels. I spend most of my time practicing tax and probate law, but I have worked in copyright and entertainment law as well.
In my posts I am going to be talking about how the law interacts with the world of music. While this mainly means copyright law, that there are a host of other issues that both fans and bands face every day. It may also occur to you that bands occasionally find themselves in trouble with the law. How did they get there? I will be talking about the laws involved in bringing those to the courtroom.
Also , I love Metalocalypse, and occasionally, they touch upon legal issues. I’ll spend some time delving into how the law has dealt with similar situations and whether or not Dethklok can get away with what they did on the show.
Or so reader Edgar Garcia tells us; I’ve never heard of this animated show myself, but needless to say, Edgar’s e-mail got my attention. So I checked it out, annnnndddd…
It doesn’t seem nearly as good as Dethklok. I mean, even if I had a better understanding of the show, the music just doesn’t strike me as being as catchy (Although any “band” with a song called “Fuckingham Palace” can’t be all bad, right?). Also, it’s very Japanese, which is to say, it’s kinda weird and very funny, but I can’t tell if they’re being deliberately humorous, or I’m just a racist, or a little bit of both. For the sake of my liberal guilt, let’s say it’s a little bit of both.
Anyways, here’s the intro for Detroit Metal City, which pales in comparison to that of Metalocalypse but is worth a look, I suppose:
Check out a clip after the jump, which confirms, at least in my mind, that either something is being lost in translation, or this show just isn’t as funny as Metalocalypse.
