(special thanks to Erika for this awesome image)

Thank you for allowing me into your homes, your offices, your myriad mobile devices, and, most importantly, your hearts. This has been a truly blessed day and one that I will never forget. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!

I’m back, bitches.

-GS

[Gary Suarez thinks you're the best reader of all. He usually manages the consistently off-topic No Yoko No. Say, why don't you follow him on Twitter?]

Hello. My name is Gary Suarez. You might remember me from my totally serious review of Oceano’s Depths or from the resulting controversy. A lot of you had something to say about all that, and I suspect you’ll have even more to say since I’M TAKING OVER METALSUCKS FOR THE DAY!

I’ve got a whole mess of stuff planned for you today including unauthorized interviews, unassigned album reviews, and unwarranted concert recaps. Get ready for the most awesomest day in the history of the Intarwebs!

We have fired Gary Suarez. There will be no more Scraping Genius Off the Wheel.

We have put up with Gary’s bullshit for a long time now. Whether it was praising Bush or defending Chris fucking Cornell or giving unauthorized interviews where he admitted to being “the odd man out at MetalSucks” or naming Kingdom of Sorrow’s album the best of 2008 or Andrew WK’s I Get Wet the best metal album of the 21st century, Gary has been at the center of more screaming matches during MS editorial meetings than any other writer we’ve ever worked with. And we generally loved his writing just enough to put up with his nonsense.

But that Oceano review was going too far.

Click to read more…