Last week Vince posted the above totally epic picture of Trivium playing foosball against Ghost, and while we all had a good chuckle at the time, what we didn’t realize was that the stakes of the game were actually incredibly high. See, the winners got to go open for Mastodon and Opeth, while the losers had to open for.. Asking Alexandria. Brutal, right?

A source tells us that Trivium were incredibly confident in their foosball skills, but, alas, it may have been hubris: they lost, and do, indeed, now need to go be on a tour where they are not only going to be playing support for Asking Alexandria, but will find Dir En Grey, I See Stars, The Amity Afflication, and “Shitstain on the Ass of the Universe” alums Motionless in White as their tourmates. You know things are bad when the band you’re most stoked to be on tour with are Dir En Grey, for the simple reason that at least they don’t speak English, and will therefore most likely not bother you.

I’m not going to post dates for this wretched hellspawn of a trek, but you can get ‘em here if you really need to. Meanwhile, that awesome sounding Mastodon/Opeth/Ghost tour is still technically just a rumor, but we’ll post more details as we get ‘em.

-AR

It’s been interesting to watch chart patterns change over the past few years; there is so much emphasis on first-week numbers now that it’s considered totally normal for a record to drop between 60% and 70% from week one to week two. I don’t have hard data to back this up, but I’m pretty sure the record execs of the ’70s, ’80s, ’90s and even early ’00s would’ve scoffed at front-loading a record’s sales like that. Why so much initial hype? Why let the ball drop so quickly thereafter? It’s about the long-term career of a band, not making an initial splash; those who burn brightly at the beginning often die off faster anyway.

As the industry moves away from ownership towards streaming with services like Spotify (and the service Apple will surely launch soon), emphasis will move away from that first-week hype. As pointed out by Bob Lefsetz in a recent newsletter, if a track leaks, no big deal… just post it to Spotify and start earning income right away, even before release date. Same if an album leaks. Nothing lost, the leak is nullified. But I digress.

Let’s look at last week’s debuts, second week drops and more after the jump.

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Last week’s Caption Contest saw the promise of “an assortment of random metal goodies from around the Mansion,” and I can promise our winner, Ronald Raygun, that I will not disappoint! Here’s his winning entry to the photo at right:

• “Dadzig.”

This week we’re giving away a Dir En Grey prize pack featuring a copy of their new CD Dum Spiro Spero, a t-shirt, a poster and lanyard, all courtesy of The End Records. The record is out now and available here. To win, just leave a comment with the funniest caption to the photo below. Remember to use a real email address (or post it along with your comment if you’re using FB Connect).

Japan’s Dir En Grey is one metal’s most fearless, unpredictable acts, but they don’t make it easy for would-be fans to know that. Listeners must grapple with cryptic Japanese language lyrics, routeless song structures, and hairpin turns in tone from beauty to brutal audio gore. Their visual grotesquerie in concert and in videos hardly make them more digestible, but don’t mistake Dir En Grey art for soulless shock rock.

Sure, scary visuals and violent music are the quintet’s stock in trade, but their mission — as explained to MetalSucks by guitarists Die (above right) and Kaoru (second from left) from their Los Angeles hotel last week — is self-expression, not engagement, and their mega-talented singer Kyo is an agent of dread not via pithy, cartoonish slogans about mankind’s similarities to excrement, but with his mind-boggling range and serenely psychopathic imagery. The personal, not the communal, if you will. As you’ll read, it seems to have not occurred to them to make it easy on fans. And so fans win.

After the jump, Die and Kaoru talk (via an overtaxed interpreter to whom I owe a dinner) about their awesome guitar work on their forthcoming eighth record Dum Spiro Spero, the benefits of a language barrier, and the fear of challenging listeners too much.

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The Dir En Grey concert experience is awesome, but also kinda annoying to petty olds like me who struggle to ignore the nerd-ass anime nerds who follow Japanese bands. Their Juggalo-style wardrobe/flair is no biggie and their interest in foreign stuff is a welcome post-internet phenomenon, true dat. But I guess they seem lame once you consider that cutesy JP stuff (like Hello Kitty) and intense J-Horror stuff (like Dir En Grey) are expressions of the society’s festishization of childhood and subconscious panic at an increasingly homogenous, aged population, respectively. I didn’t conceive of that stuff as a teenager and I would certainly laugh if fans at an overseas Tool show dressed like Transformers and hugged Cabbage Patch Kids during “Stinkfist.” So yeah.

Buttt my beef seems dumb and counterproductive — there’s no wrong reason for rocking, right? — so on Friday I asked DEG guitarists Kaoru and Die about perceptions of their semi-penetrable new album Dum Spiro Spero; read their replies next week when the complete interview runs here on MetalSucks.net, the internet’s HQ for metal news, views, and commenters who must be huffing paint. For now, let’s nerd out on these kawaii Dir En Grey U.S. tourdates!

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I’m no Dir En Grey expert, but I did really dig their 2007 album Marrow of a Bone, the first album of theirs I listened to in full. 2008′s Uroboros was solid too, a bit more adventurous than its predecessor. From what I understand about Dir En Grey they’re one of those bands that are constantly morphing and changing from album to album, and they never repeat themselves; in other words, they’re the anti-Slayer. I also understand that they’re HUGE in their native country; in fact, in early 2010 I was invited by the band to travel to Japan, all expenses paid, to witness the filming of their two-night stand at Tokyo’s legendary Budokan arena (this would eventually become the Uroboros -With the Proof in the Name of Living…- At Nippon Budokan Live DVD) but I couldn’t go ’cause long story short I’m a pussy. But ever-evolving as Dir En Grey’s music may be, I just can’t get into this latest song of theirs.

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I’m a fan, but it’s not tough to overdose on melodrama when listening to Dir En Grey. Then again, hey so what if their singer lives in a constant state of shrieking despair and favors the bare chest/tight jeans look? The total product is awesome mostly thanks to two inventive guitarists. But, again, can so much moaning be endured by anyone older than nineteen or so, guitars or not? At what point does the schtick break down, causing reasonable listeners to wonder when, in this Jonathan Davis world of soul-searing pain and emotional crises, do the DEG guys find the energy to record and tour every year? (Same for uber-pimps and giga-gangsters who split time between running hoes/drugs from atop their criminal empire and TRL.) The DEG guys probably think Mike Muir seems reasonable and are unable to detect the irony in Devin Townsend’s moments of panic. I bet they play Korn at the beach. They’re that freaked out.

All the same, it’s easy to respect Dir En Grey for their work ethic and easy to like them for their balls. Okay, that sounds bad, but goddammit you get me if you heard 2008′s Uroboros – abrasive, post-tonal intra-metal mindfuck that it is. Some of its songs still refuse to make sense to me – and that’s after thirty listens – but not in the same way that a prog-clusterfuck can bewilder. Uroboros is more like an opera of suffering performed out of order. So far, DEG’s records are each better and wilder than the previous, so it’s easy to get excited about their untitled 2010 outing. However, it’s not easy to remember the snappy title of the new song: “Hageshisa to, Kono Mune no Naka de karamitsuita Shakunetsu no Yami.” I’ll just call it “Awesome Spaz Attack Song #76.”

- ADF

Vince, Kip, and Anton OyVey are all down at SXSW, but don’t worry about lil’ old me; Higgins and I got shit covered. Here’s what happened in the world of metal this week:

• We all finally got to hear the new Mastodon album! Needless to say, intense debate ensued.
• We spoke to Wolves in the Throne Room drummer Aaron Weaver and Lazarus A.D. bassist/vocalist Jeff Paulick.
• No penis? No Dir En Grey!
• Is this new Teagan and Sara shirt metal as fuck, or total hipster bull pucky?
• The Megatallica rivalry continued as we watched Dave Mustaine kill on Jeopardy and Lars Ulrich eat it on Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
• Fieldy = Jesus
  
• Read Vince’s initial SXSW reports here and here!

Alright-y, then. Higgins and I are off to make like chimneys and blow smoke. See ya Monday!

-AR

Thanks to MetalSucks Maniac Amanda Dobbs for pointing us towards this very unusual story on Pollstar. It seems that Dir En Grey will be playing two shows in their native Japan that are “male only,” and have posted a note on their website to this effect:

“We will confirm your sex at main entrance, therefore you will need to bring a public certificate including health insurance card, pension book, passport, resident’s card. In some cases, we will conduct careful checking. If we cannot check your sex on the day, we may have to refuse your attendance.”

We were curious as to how the band is planning to “conduct careful checking” of audience members’ sex, since we can’t imagine any world in which the ticket holders line is asked to drop trou right there in the street. So we contacted them* to get some answers. After the jump, learn six ways the band plans to make sure everyone who attends these concerts is, indeed, a dude.

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So Axl and I are shuttering up the gates to the MS Mansion when we get wind that there’s a new Lamb of God video for “Set to Fail” available. Fucking BAD ASS!!!

Before this event of over-arching importance occurred, here’s what we would’ve said was important this week:

• We spoke with Salome’s Aaron Deal and Chimaira’s Mark Hunter.
• No Ozzfest this year. We don’t buy the excuse that it’s because Ozzman’s working on a new album, but at least the Osbournes will be making asses of themselves on national TV again… oh wait.
• We watched Mastodon in the recording studio while we falsely assumed a new track of theirs appeared in a videogame trailer. No matter; Crack the Skye is coming March 24th and there’s a super-special limited edition package available for pre-order.
• Limp Bizkit announced their inevitable reunion. With Wes Borland. No surprise.
• We joined Twitter. Webernets, watch out!
• We looked at new releases by Scale the Summit, Obscura and the new DVD by Dir En Grey. The world previewed the new God Forbid record… and overwhelmingly liked it, by golly! In the Coyle Commune annex of the MS Mansion, Dallas slyly grinned while tapping his fingers slowly together and saying, “Exxxxxxcellent.”
• We pontificated the seemingly complete irrelevance of the Grammies and then immediately forgot about them.

Enjoy cuddling up with your shnookums (metal!) on Valentine’s Day tomorrow and celebrating a day called “Presidents Day” — even though no U.S. presidents were actually born on said day — by not going to work on Monday. Seeya Tuesday.

-VN

Of the dozen or so Japan-based acts that have attempted to crack the English-speaking market, Dir En Grey is fortunate to have an edge in their singularity; no band sounds like them in America or elsewhere. Sure, we can trace the roots of their spare, low-register guitar parts to Korn; the rabid, multi-voiced, and diminutive singer to Cradle of Filth; the addictive melodies to uh Duran Duran; and the caustic imagery to Marilyn Manson and Japanese visual hyper-rock. But like a Hayao Miyazaki or Pretz, Dir En Grey is exotic but not exclusionary, foreign but not impenetrable. Different but the same. And awesome!

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This coming Monday the entire MetalSucks staff will each release Top 10 lists for the entire year in metal of 2008. Get psyched! Things have been slowing down here at the MS Mansion as the holidays approach, but we still found ways to keep it fun this week:

• Axl Rose finally did some press to support Chinese Democracy… but as usual, there’s an asterisk.
• We debuted a new, exclusive Daath track — a medley of Cannibal Corpse, Morbid Angel and Dying Fetus covers.
• We interviewed members of Clutch, Bison B.C., Dir En Grey, and Fear Factory / Arkaea.
• Job For a Cowboy’s Jonny Davy blogged about urination and hotel trashing, while Darkest Hour’s Mike Schleibaum’s guest blog claimed that Entombed’s Uprising and Morning Star are two of the most underrated albums of all time. Oh, and The Haunted’s Peter Dolving blogged about sleep.
• Gojira’s Joe Duplantier orders you to stop the killing of baby seals but apparently has no problem with ripping New York City a new arsehole.
• Meshuggah + Cynic + The Faceless = The Erection Tour of 2009.
• The metal industry lost a kindred soul. R.I.P. Adrian Bromley.

Interviewing Japanese rockstars Dir En Grey — whose excellent new album Uroboros is out now on The End Records — was one of the more challenging tasks I’ve been faced with as a journalist hack blogger. Interviewing a band you don’t know that much about and doing so on short notice? Been there, done that, easy. Having to do so in a completely foreign language through an interpreter? That threw me for a loop. Who do I look at while asking the questions — the interpreter or the band? Like, obviously I’m talking to the band, but in essence I’m talking to the interpreter since he’s the only one who understands what I’m saying. Kinda awkward. Did my questions get through as I intended them? Did the band members say I was a complete asshole? I’ll never know.

In any case the band’s two guitarists Kaoru (blue guitar in below pics) and Die (red guitar in below pics) were good sports, the interpreter did a fine job (at least as far as I know!) and the interview came out pretty well. My chat with Dir En Grey — which in retrospect seems really short because every question and answer had to be repeated — after the jump.

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All is not lost in the world of metal; in fact, this past week brought some nice surprises, along with the usual mish-mash of shitty radio rock bands. Last week’s sales numbers, with our usual sardonic commentary, after the jump. (Hint: look at the tags below, and click “read more” if any of those bands interest you!).

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Mostly this week I just watched the Puppy Cam. But when I could pry myself away for a few moments, this is what I focused on:

• Proto-jazz-metallers Intronaut released an artsy new video, as did Protest the Hero and Dir En Grey.
• We interviewed Brother Von Doom.
• Ozzy may be pretty good at shilling for Samsung phones these days, but we still like him better the old way.
• Arsis did some member-swapping. Yes, again.
• We reviewed new releases from The Faceless, The Bronx, and a bunch of awesome bands on Prosthetic Records.
• We contemplated the prospect of new releases by Carcass, Napalm Death and Down.

Party it up, it’s the weekend. See you next Tuesday Monday.

That I don’t know what the fuck “Dozing Green” is about is understandable given it’s entirely in Japanese; but apparently Dir En Grey even make their videos in Japanese, because I have no fucking clue what the hell is going on in this one. Nevertheless the song is pretty cool and so is the video, both in unexpected and non-cliche ways. Psyched to see these dudes play in NYC this Friday with The Human Abstract.

-VN