MetalSucks

When it comes to music (and other things really), I tend to play devil’s advocate. If everyone is shitting on a certain band, for some reason, I become more attracted to that band and seek them out. I don’t know what it is about my personality, but I think it stems from the same perspective that inspired me to write the antagonistic blog about rethrash. It may be a character flaw, but I’m sure it has something to do with a need to be an individual. From what I gather, this website is inhabited mainly by “true” metal heads. What I define as “true” are people whom are purists in the realm of metal and usually scoff at any band or trend that reeks of premeditated commercialism or an overt play for popularity, and who usually demand a certain level of musicianship and underground credibility. These fans usually hate every Metallica record after …And Justice For All, and for that matter always prefer any particular band’s older releases, which usually have a more raw and unrefined recording quality, as well as more abstract, less traditional song writing. For example, they will prefer Carcass’s Necrotiscim to Heartwork, or Morbid Angel’s Blessed Are The Sick to Domination. Oh yeah, and these guys gave up on In Flames and Soilwork years ago.

I have a good deal of that purism in my bones, but it always seemed short sighted and close minded. You have no idea how many arguments the Adler brothers from Lamb of God and I have gotten into over the merits of a particluar Metallica or Megadeth record. If you even bring up Disturbed or Limp Bizkit on MetalSucks, it is mocked and disregarded 100% of the time. I think metal heads often have a sheep mentality because of the fear of being viewed by their peers as less credible for liking bands that aren’t considered “true” or “real” enough. We all have guilty pleasures, but the real question is “Why should we feel guilty about something we enjoy?”

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So apparently Ozzfest is coming back this summer, and is coming back as a traveling tour again (as opposed to the one-off fest it was in 2008). And that’s all well and good, only… who’s gonna be on the bill?

Mayhem, which is basically Ozzfest 2.0, has already scooped up a lot of big-name bands for the summer, including many who have played multiple past Ozzfests – namely Korn, Rob Zombie, Lamb of God, Atreyu, Shadows Fall and Hatebreed, the latter of whom I think have been on something like 90% of all Ozzfests ever.

Add to that other Ozzfest alum like Chimaira, In This Moment and Norma Jean, and some bands the kids today all seem to like, such as Winds of Plague and They Who Shall Not Be Named, and, well, that’s a whole bunch of potential mainstage and second stage draws right there.

Then there’s the mini-fests like Summer Slaughter. I can’t tell you which bands we already know are booked for some of these tours without betraying a lot of people’s confidence, but I can tell you that some great bands are now no longer available for Ozzfest.

And, oh yeah, Megadeth, Slayer, and Testament are now doing their American Carnage tour in the summer, so they’re out.

So who’s left? After the jump, I’m going to play my favorite game: it’s called “over-think about something incredibly unimportant.”

Before we proceed, it’s worth noting that I’m going to try and be semi-realistic when moving forward with some barely-educated guesses about who’ll be playing Ozzfest. If a band already has summer tour dates booked, I’m going to assume they’re not avail, although I acknowledge that they could cancel those dates in favor of playing for a bigger crowd. And I’m not even going to bother with bands like Pig Destroyer, Sigh, and Salome – bands that will play Ozzfest right around the time Joey Belladonna’s solo band plays four sold-out headlining shows at Giants Stadium. Also, obviously not all of these bands are gonna end up on the bill – these are just bands I think could end up there.

And so, without further bullshit…

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A reader known only as “Jonas” sent us the below video of 55 Escape, a Norwegian band whose biggest influences seem to be Korn and Linkin Park, not Enslaved and Immortal.

Here’s why I find this band kind of interesting. (And moving forward, please be aware that “interesting” and “good” are not the same word.) When you think about it for a second, nu-metal seems to be a predominantly American phenomenon. Off the top of my head, I’m having a hard time even naming a nu-metal band from any part of Europe, never mind Norway. Jeff Killed John were British, but they didn’t get famous ’til they swapped the nu for core and rechristened themselves Bullet for My Valentine. Am I forgetting a really, really obvious band? Korn, Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, Disturbed, Godsmack, Evanescence, Staind, Static-X, Creed, Hed P.E., Snot, P.O.D., Puddle of Mudd, Drowning Pool, Saliva, Coal Chamber, Methods of Mayhem, 40 Below Summer, Sevendust, Ill Nino, Dope, Papa Roach, Soil, The Union Undergound… ALL AMERICAN. What the hell? No wonder the terrorists hate us.

Anyway, thanks to these sperm clots for doing their part in making America look good. Hoo-rah.

-AR

Iron Man was a fun movie. It wasn’t great, but I had a nice time watching it, and I will see Iron Man 2. But if you’re one of those people who thought that Iron Man was the greatest goddamn thing ever and get even think about Iron Man 2 without pissing yourself with excitement, well, then do I have a treat for you: some Iron Man 2 footage appears in a new AC/DC video for an old song, “Shoot to Thrill.” According to Nikki Finke, this is just the tip of the iceberg for the band and the armored hero, as “Columbia Records will release the album AC/DC: Iron Man 2 on Monday, April 19th, featuring 15 classic AC/DC songs selected from 1976 to 2008.”

This doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. Why start promoting an album that doesn’t come out ’til April and a movie that doesn’t come out ’til May now? Will people really remember this in four to five months? Also, since every AC/DC song basically sounds the same, would it really have been so hard for Angus Young to at least whip up a new single for this thing, rather than just offer another rehash of the band’s back catalog?

In any case, here’s the video. Watch it, don’t watch it, whatever. There’ll be plenty of more opportunities to see Iron Man 2 footage between now and its release date, I’m sure.

Meanwhile, the dude who just got hired to direct the new Spider-Man movie has directed videos for Hatebreed and Disturbed. So maybe Marvel is really metal after all.

-AR

Because we at the MS Mansion keep no secrets about our un-ironic love of ’80s hair/glam and because we can never seem to resist a Carlos Ramirez-penned Top <insert here> list at Noisecreep, we give you The Top Ten Musicians with Hair Metal Pasts.

There are a few usual suspects whose Aqua Net pasts have been well-documented here and elsewhere (hiya Rivers Cuomo and studly stud Butch Walker) but there are a few surprises in there as well. Like Disturbed’s Dan Donegan… what I wouldn’t give to hear a Vandal recording! In fact, if someone wants to email those to us I’ll gladly post them for all of us to laugh / sneer at / enjoy.

Take a look at the list, then come back here and tell us why hair metal sucks.

-VN

So The Village Voice – which, depending on who you ask, is either a bastion of intelligent artistic commentary or the most pretentious toilet paper in print – recently compiled a list of the fifty worst songs of the decade, and, sure enough, some terrible nu-metal found its way onto the list. Here are three notable entries, via Blabbermouth:

08. LIMP BIZKIT and JOHNNY RZEZNIK – “Wish You Were Here”
10. FIELDY’S DREAMS – “Baby Hugh Hef”
12. DISTURBED – “Land of Confusion”
14. KORN – “Ya’ll Want A Single?”
15. HINDER – “Born To Be Wild”
19. NICKELBACK – “Something In Your Mouth”
27. KELLY OSBOURNE and OZZY OSBOURNE – “Changes”

Now, I’d never argue that these are terrible songs. But of the seven songs listed above, four are covers. And I just can’t take a cover seriously as the worst pick for each of these groups.

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In honor of Alaskan metalcore band 36 Crazyfists’ new DVD, Under a Northern Sky (in stores October 27), a list of 35 other famous, metal, heavy, and/or crazy fists:

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This week in Soundscan, supergroup Chickenfoot shifted a ridiculous number of records. I’m baffled too. Elsewhere, Iron Maiden had a solid debut and bands like Nickelback, Hollywood Undead, Shinedown, Slipknot, and Metallica continued on with business as usual.

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An interview with Disturbed’s Dan Donegan, from We Love Metal (by way of Blabbermouth)… the debate over what is or is not “nu metal” continues!

We Love Metal: A lot of people on the Internet call DISTURBED “nu” metal. Do you consider yourself nu metal?

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So here I am flying across the Atlantic Ocean again. A few months back I wrote a blog about how much I hate flying and yet here I am doing it again. Press / vacation trip to Paris. I know, I know, such a hard life. But you know what? You guys can eat a dick if you’ve got a problem with it.

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A couple of weeks ago, Vince told you about some Hasidim in the Music as a Weapon IV mosh pit on that tour’s NJ stop. I was actually at that show (and by “at that show,” I mean “I watched Chimaira be awesome and then spent the rest of the night getting drunk/high with friends before driving home very, very, very slowly”), and even though these dudes were what everyone was talking about, I was totally bummed that I never actually got to see any of them.

Well well well… one of them, Josh Kidd, just e-mailed me. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that other Jews who like metal enjoy a site run by guys with names like “Rosenberg” and “Neilstein,” but, somehow, I was still floored when I got the e-mail. So much so that I’m willing to post this video of our fellow Chosen Person, David Draiman, giving them a shout-out from the stage, even though MetalSucks’  distaste for Disturbed is pretty well documented at this point:

Hilarious, right?

These cats even have their own Facebook group, if you’d like to keep in touch. They even utilize the Anton OyVey logo!!!

-AR

MetalSucks Maniac Matt Clark sent us the link to the below video of the unsigned band YEAH! Destroyer covering Katy Perry’s “Hot N’ Cold.” And while I’m fairly certain Matt meant for us to see this cover as a good thing, I have to say – it fucking sucks. And I’m sick of bands doing this kind of shit.

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When @AlishaThrashion tweeted from the Music As a Weapon tour stop in New Jersey on Wednesday that there was a Hasid in the moshpit, I responded with what any skeptical Jew like myself would: “pics or it didn’t happen.” And within a few minutes, I had the above in my inbox.

Pretty awesome (moshpit dude, if you’re reading this — you rule). Metal knows no religious boundaries! So I got to thinkin’… what are some funny Music As A Weapon-related puns we can connect to Jewish themes? (For those who don’t know, your editors are Jewish, so we can make these jokes guilt-free). Bands on the tour are Disturbed, Killswitch Engage, Lacuna Coil and Chimaira. Examples:

Gifiltefish Engage
The Impossibility of Kvetching
Alice or Just Shvitzing
Down With the 10 Plagues

Winner gets some cool posters and stickers in the mail. Go!

I really couldn’t give a fuck what some dude in Underoath says about Avenged Sevenfold, but lots of you have been emailing us about this and besides, this is the kind of shit-kicking we specialize in around here, no? So apparently Metal Hammer was out with Underoath in Austria and Italy and got this choice nugget out of guitarist Tim McTague:

“People might associate us with Avenged Sevenfold because they’re pissed republicans and ‘so metal’, but they’re a gimmick, they’re a circus. They can play [corrected] but they can’t write songs. What’s worse is the way they look. If you need to have make-up and crappy names like Synyster Gates to sell records, then you shouldn’t be here.

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When you talk about Cristina Scabbia, bewitching singer of Italy’s Lacuna Coil, it’s tempting to devote poetic volumes to descriptions of her melodic acumen, intoxicating voice, and oppressive physical beauty. Even knowing all this, I was still able to be surprised by Scabbia’s effortless coolness: the reader has to imagine her expressing polite disagreement by gently raising the pitch of her voice, dismissing haters with venomless derision, and discoursing like someone casually thinking aloud. Conversely, picture the interviewer perplexed by feelings of sexual longing for his phone, from which Scabbia’s oddly musical speaking voice emanated. (It didn’t help that Scabbia thoughtlessly spoke of wanting more and more, improving your stuff, and getting squeezed in the studio.)

After some shared confusion regarding the difference between Arizona and New Mexico, Scabbia spoke with MetalSucks about her band’s new record Shallow Life (out April 21), boisterous busmates, touring with the melodic dudes of Disturbed, and why Lacuna Coil is a happy band. Check out their new video, “Spellbound,” above; then the full interview is after the jump.

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So. Unless you live under a rock, chances are you’re aware that the movie adaptation of Watchmen opens tomorrow. The reviews are decidedly mixed and I’m still not convinced it won’t suck, but it’s already apparently making a ton of bank in ticket pre-sales, so, uh, yeah, people wanna see this bitch I guess.

Anyways, this week iTunes had some members of the cast do their celebrity playlist thing. A few actors chose a few metal songs – Patrick Wilson (who plays “Nite Owl II”) has some Van Halen and Extreme songs, Malin Akerman (“Silk Spectre II”) has some Nine Inch Nails, Jeffery Dean Morgan (“The Comedian”) was apparently pals with Layne Staley and included “Rooster” in his mix, etc.

But Jackie Earle Haley – the Oscar nominated actor playing the ultimate right wing sociopathic fascistic badass, Rorschach – created a list that is almost entirely comprised of metal.

Terrible metal.

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Few bands in modern metal are as exciting as Chimaira. That’s because few bands constantly undergo such a dramatic and undeniable evolutions from album to album – and do so with a bare minimum of line-up changes. From their 2000 self-released debut, This Present Darkness, right up to 2007’s Resurrection, Chimaira have never made the same album twice. Elements of thrash, death, groove, black, and even prog metal and punk abound, and, ultimately, the only thing you ever know for sure about a new Chimaira album is this: it’s gonna be heavy as a motherfucker, and just as catchy.

As the band – which includes guitarists Rob Arnold and Matt DeVries, bassist Jim LaMarca, drummer Andols Herrick, and keyboardist/sampler Chris Spicuzza – anticipates the April 21 release of their sixth album, The Infection, we were lucky enough to snag an exclusive e-mail interview with vocalist Mark Hunter. After the jump, read Mark’s thoughts on the group’s latest offering, the ongoing metamorphosis of their sound, reuniting with longtime producer Ben Schigel, the internet as a marketing tool, the state of his pure hatred, and more.

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I’m ’bout to go party at a triple-birthday event then get rowdy at an outdoor winter BBQ tomorrow afternoon (Bacon Explosion, anyone?). But not before I can tell you what went down on MetalSucks this week:

• Dallas broke the silence on Earthsblood and told the “Blabberbitches” to fuck off.
• Zakk Wylde recorded on a Dope song, throwing his last shred of cred out the window. Yeah, Dope.
• Metal Hammer released a shady list of the best death metal songs ever. But at least Metal Hammer is still around: Metal Edge and Metal Maniacs bit the dust for good.
• David Draiman hit the singles market. J-Date.com, here comes the sickness!
• We spoke with Sunn O))) mainman / Southern Lord Records founder Greg Anderson and Sylosis’ Josh Middleton.
• We told you what we think about the new release by Dimension Zero while we asked you what you think about Lamb of God’s latest.
• Sigh’s foxy Dr. Mikannibal got naked and drank cow’s blood.
• We took shots at Camp Kill Yourself and Insane Clown Posse, and their fans took shots at us.

Peace in the mideast.

-VN

Following Disturbed lead-crooner David Draiman’s much-publicized split with his fiancee a few months back, everyone’s favorite yeshiva boocher revealed in an interview with Altitude that he’s playing the dating game, albeit in a cautious capacity. In a prior interview with Finland’s MusiikkiTV shortly after the split, Draiman revealed that his now-former fiancee’s heritage — half German and half Persian — had become what he called “a huge source of contention in my family.” For those who aren’t privvy to our near-daily assault of Jewicisms on MetalSucks, Draiman comes from an Orthodox Jewish background and has some 200 relatives living in Israel, including his brother and grandmother.

Might Draiman now be on the prowl for a hot, young Jewess? Seems he’s being a bit more selective this time around; “I went out in Chicago. Got a couple of number, went on a couple dates. They didn’t last through dinner,” says Draiman in the below interview Altitude. Ouch! D-man’s playing hard to get. If I were the mother of a Jewish girl in the Chicago area I’d be awfully mindful of who my daughter hangs around with, lest Draiman inject her with “The Sickness.” Oooo ahh ahh ahh ahh.

-VN

[Thanks: Warren U.]

While we had just planned on catching Killswitch Engage, Lacuna Coil and Chimaira on this Spring’s Music As A Weapon Tour and leaving before Disturbed hit the stage, it may be that we won’t have to. The latest round of announced tour dates includes an April 15th date in Lowell, Mass, a Boston exurb on the New Hampshire border that’s only 40 miles (and 2 days) away from the New England Metal and Hardcore Festival in Worcester, Mass. Could we be in for some more additions to the Friday night lineup?

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