MetalSucks

I’m not sure how Dokken ended up in this Norton Internet Security commercial; I mean, how fucking random can you get? Is there some inside joke that I’m not getting here – like does Don Dokken have some infamous chicken story akin to Led Zep’s shark incident? Or do the manatees that write Family Guy also do ad copy now?

Regardless of whatever the actual story behind this spot is, it tickles me so.

Boy oh boy do I bet that George Lynch wishes he was still in the band now!!!

If you’d like to see two other versions of this same commercial, head over to Blabbermouth.

-AR

[Welcome to our new column Hair Metal Happy Hour, which will be manned by the fine writer Michael S. Robinson. Things have been admittedly less hairy around here lately, but we hope to rectify that situation with this semi-regular column. Huh huh, he said "rectum-fry." - Ed.]

It’s hard to believe that it’s been almost twenty years since glorious hair metal ruled the charts and MTV. Once the crispy, crunchity sounds of the Pacific northwest took over, many of our cock-rocking heroes from the 80s faded into oblivion, while others continued to record sporadically, enjoying varying degrees of success, or lack thereof.

Now it’s 2008, almost 20 years to the day since Stryper released In God We Trust, and we find ourselves in the midst of unarguably the greatest year for hair metal releases since the 1980s. I’m not sure what any of us have done to bring about this incredible turn of good fortune, but it’s worth pausing to analyze, and give thanks for the bounty of hair metal we have been given, and are about to receive, in 2008.

Click to read more…

Over the weekend Blabbermouth reported that Poison will be doing another edition of their summer package tour, which isn’t surprising – for glam fans $30 to see three old hair metal acts complete with big light shows, pyro, and all the fixings is a pretty good deal.

What is kind of surprising is that Sebastian Bach has been announced as one of the openers; he’ll rotate with the other one, a George Lynch-less Dokken.

You read that correctly, folks. Dokken.

Now, Baz hasn’t exactly been the most dignified of sorts, but there’s a pretty huge difference between opening for Axl Rose at Madison Square Garden and opening for Poison at pretty much fuckin’ anywhere.

Funnier still is this quote from a 1999 interview with Baz: “We [Skid Row] were definitely separate from Poison and Warrant… Skid Row fans are not Poison fans.”

Oh, well. It’s easy to talk big when you don’t have bills to pay, I guess.

-AR

Because who doesn’t want to hear Dokken rocking “Santa Claus is coming to town?”

-VN

[kml_flashembed movie="http://youtube.com/v/dmSkPX2gCsA" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

[Thanks to MetalSucks commeter TedTedPoleyPoley for the link]