When a press release dropped last week about a new song “The Platform” by a Swedish band called Beardfish I thought to myself, “Hmm, Vince Neilstein… Beardfish. Beardfish. Isn’t that the band that Mike Portnoy loves? Beardfish… hmm.” And yes, indeed, they are. A little research on this here weblog turned up long since smoked-away ones and zeroes, confirming that Beardfish were slated to open for Dream Theater on the Progressive Nation 2009 tour (not the year with Opeth and BTBAM) but had to drop off because their label lost funding. I remember not liking them very much when I checked them out following the original Prog Nation 2009 tour announcement, but decided I’d give ‘em another go this time around.

And you know what? Beardfish 2k11 are pretty good. They remind me of King Crimson and Yes in their best, most coherent moments, a little bit more hard rockin’ than KC and a little less noodlin’ than Yes for a modern take on prog rock with a clear nod to the past. Good songs, great sense of melody, excellent but subdued chops. That’s my take on “The Platform,” anyway, which is streaming at ProgArchives.com.

Click to read more…

Not you after today

In the past few years, my group of friends has come to include a bunch of fancy-pants musicians-for-hire. They get majorly paid for backing gigs and session work cuz they execute on their instruments with nuclear precision. And it’s great hanging out with them for their big shot habits of picking up every check and throwing exquisite summer parties. You want that — we all do. But maybe you don’t have the time to, say, top your class at Juilliard or grind out a degree from Berklee. Hey, even if you did, you’d just as soon end up posting internet clips of yourself blasting through BTBAM runs and Hammerfall solos unless you move to West Hollywood and starve for two years. Meh.

Well, here’s good news! You can still get chicks horny and sound good enough for Youtube and hold up to passing scrutiny and possibly even land a gig in a million-selling metal band! Unlike violin, for example, guitar isn’t that hard to fake provided you master picking fast and good pitch on bends. To play Steve Vai, you’d have to match his regimen of 23 daily practice hours; for the following face-melters — ear-friendly, multi-leveled solos every one — all that’s required is like 23 total minutes. Let’s call it the Hammett Workout. Not everybody is “Under A Glass Moon” material, but just approximate these imprecise, jabby solos and I swear you’ll look cool! Check it:

Click to read more…

I wasn’t really familiar with Eden’s Curse before today, but I assumed they were a dork metal band. I made this deduction based on the following facts:

• They’re called “Eden’s Curse.”
• They recruited Dream Theater’s James LaBrie (Fun fact: his name is French for “the cheese”) to do vocals for their new single, “No Holy Man.”

Luckily, the band has now released the shittiest animated video this side of Motley Crue’s “Hell on High Heels” for that song. So, y’know, that should totally disprove naysayers like me. Yep, no reason for the band to feel embarrassed by this high quality promotional clip!

-AR

A quick catch-up sesh for anyone who’s not a DT fanboy like me: YtseJam Records is Dream Theater’s own label imprint they’ve been using for years to release official bootlegs of live recordings. “YtseJam” is “Majesty” backwards; again, for the non-fanboys, Majesty was their original band name.

OK, now onto the drama! A fan recently asked via Mike Portnoy’s official message board what would become of YtseJam now that Mike’s out of the DT picture. Fair question, right? Portnoy handled most of the business for pretty much every aspect of DT, so it would stand to reason that YtseJam would be effected by his departure. Portnoy — who has an astonishing 1394 posts on his own message board (!!) — took to answering the question himself. It’s the 7th post down at this link. Quote:

Click to read more…

Well, here’s an anticlimactic conclusion to a dramatic story.

Avenged Sevenfold have announced that Arin Ilejay, formerly of the Christian band Confide, will be taking Mike Portnoy’s spot behind the drum kit for their upcoming tour dates. The announcement does not say that Ilejay is a permanent member of the band, but I’d imagine if he kicks ass on the tour, they’ll scoop him up. I mean, they have to give SOMEONE the gig eventually, right?

Honestly, I’d never heard of Confide until just now, but I’m not encouraged by this music video:

So that sucks.

Ilejay was apparently recommended by A7X’s drum tech, Mike “The Sack” Fasano, who has previously hit the skins for such illustrious acts as, uh, Warrant. Which almost makes me wonder why they didn’t just hire him, but whatevs. They probably felt like since they lost a Reverend they needed a Christian, and, voila, Ileljay got the job. Yeah, that’s a completely logical explanation, right?

Anyways, I guess we’ll see how this pans out…

-AR

So 2011 is officially underway! I mean, we’re two full weeks in — time to stop accidentally writing “2010″ as the date on shit, y’know? We started to preview some albums we’re stoked about, and will continue to do so next week. In the meantime, here’s some other fun crap we did this week:

• The Human Abstract’s A.J. Minette continued his discussion regarding the merits of creative limitation.
• We debuted new music by Deicide, Ulcerate, Owen Hart, and Roger Miret.
• We also reviewed the new Owen Hart album.
• We played a metal edition of “Marry, Fuck, Kill” with both chicks and d00dz.
• We checked out some awesome pictures from Vince and the metalgf’s vacation to Amsterdam and Paris.
• We joined the Scotty Griffin Fanclub.
• We confirmed that Tool are the coolest band ever.
• We felt bad for Mike Portnoy.
• We were upset by Wrest’s arrest for sexual assault and domestic battery.
• And while it was news to us until we heard it from Rush Limbaugh, we were apparently responsible for the Tucson shootings.

Next week brings more debuts, more interviews, and more general Suckitude. See ya then.

-AR

Watch out! These young bucks are taking over the world.

Yep yep, it’s my birthday. I’m using my “Get Out of Jail Free” card to steal a Mike Portnoy story away from Vince (who usually covers all things Dream Theater-releated), ’cause I know how to party hard, party hard, party hard, party hard, party hard, party hard… [fade out]

ANYWAY, from the perspective of someone who is not as obsessed with Dream Theater as my cohort, this whole Mike Portnoy thing is getting to be pretty pathetic — like, characters from a Woody Allen movie pathetic. Portnoy is like the dude who left his wife of however many years for a younger, hotter, albeit much stupider, woman, and when that woman inevitably got bored by his old saggy balls and inability to shtup ten times a day without the aid of a little blue pill, he begged his wife to take him back. And his wife, to her credit, has been in therapy since he left, and has a new sense of self-worth — so she told him to go suck an egg. And now he’s stuck with this goddamn motherfucking ridiculous Porsche that doesn’t even run right half the time and a big house with no one to fill it.

Mike Portnoy is understandably lonely.

So how he’s dealing with his loneliness? Is he getting some alone time to, y’know, really get to work on Mike Portnoy? Did he join JDate to try and meet someone new? Is he taking that Porsche around to all the hottest clubs in town in an effort to snag another youthful bippy?

Well, kind of — what he’s actually doing is going to the Senior Center for Singles Bingo Night. Which is to say, he’s reuniting Yellow Matter Custard, his Beatles cover band, for the first time in eight years. Gee, I wonder what the occasion is?

Click to read more…

While we were gone for the holidays, Mike Portnoy asked to re-join Dream Theater after being let go by Avenged Sevenfold, surprising no one. We’ve stated our case for siding with Portnoy in this whole ridiculous public drama, but it seems awfully hypocritical of Portnoy to ask back in so soon after everything that’s gone down. Dream Theater accordingly rebuffed Mike, as they should have. Meanwhile, rumors have been flying around about Marco Minnemann being the new Dream Theater drummer, a story which we were the first to report several weeks back.

Portnoy for his part is staying busy; Metal Insider reports that he’s announced a new project with guitarist Steve Morse (Deep Purple, Dixie Dregs), multi-instrumentalist Neal Morse (Transatlantic, Spock’s Beard), bassist Dave LaRue (Dixie Dregs) and vocalist Casey McPherson (Alpha Rev, Endochine) with recording commencing shortly. That should be pretty effin’ cool and nertastically progariffic.

But in the meantime the big question on Dream Theater fans’ minds is: what will the next Dream Theater record sound like?? Will it be any good? Was Portnoy the mojo that kept the band going or was he dead weight??? John Petrucci just tweeted that the band is now in the studio, so I’m assuming that they’re writing the record on-the-fly again as they have with the past several releases.

What do you think about a new DT record?? Weigh in below.

When Mike Portnoy announced he would be leaving Dream Theater, many of you speculated in our comments section that drum great Marco Minneman (who played in Necrophagist for a while, among countless other musical endeavors) might be on the shortlist of potential replacements. The following is of course completely reckless speculation and nothing other than conjecture, but a recent announcement has given at least a shred of credence to the possibility that Minnemann might be the man to warm Protnoy’s drum throne until he and the band mutually decide it’s time for him to come back.

Reader Dean Ferro sent us this link earlier this week, announcing a collaboration between DT keyboardist Jordan Rudess and Minnemann:

Click to read more…

It’s been a while since we had anything to grind through the Mike Portnoy / Dream Theater rumor mill, unless you count all those “I’m not the permanent drummer of Avenged Sevenfold” interview responses, which I don’t. Thankfully this glorious week of giving thanks here in the U.S. brings us two Portnoy / DT news tidbits to be thankful for, one dorky and one gossipy.

First, the dorkitude. In perhaps some of the best DT drum covers to be posted to YouTube in the history of that site, Behold… the Arctopus and Blotted Science drummer Charlie Zeleny recently uploaded a bunch of “audition” videos of himself playing along to various Dream Theater songs. “Audition” is in quotes because apparently Zeleny wasn’t actually asked in for an audition, but somehow got wind of which songs DT were asking auditioning drummers to learn and recorded and uploaded them of his own accord. It sorta worked, too; apparently the members of DT have now seen these videos. I’m actually kinda surprised more young drummers that grew up under Portnoy’s influence haven’t done the same thing the way, say, Dave Grohl publicly groveled for Led Zeppelin’s drum throne when they reunited in 2007 to pay tribute to Ahmet Artegun. Here’s Zeleny covering the middle/end section of “Metropolis Pt. 1″:

Note the Portnoy stick-flip at 1:10! Way to score those extra points, Chuck.

Now onto the gossip!!

Click to read more…

What does Dream Theater inspire you to do? Some of you would probably answer “stick screwdrivers in my ears” and some of you would probably answer “masturbate furiously in the corner.” A few level-headed folks might even answer “nothing at all… I appreciate their technicality but they aren’t for me.”

In the case of the Venezuelan YouTube user known as cebra4444, Dream Theater inspire martial arts; I know what you’re thinking, and no, not the moshpit variety. What’s more, cebra444′s version of Dream Theater’s now-classic “Home” (11 years ago already!! crikey, I’m getting old) is his own acoustic arrangement, multi-tracked to the 9′s complete with several rhythm and lead tracks all executed extremely admirably. The guy can sing too, and does a damn fine job of imitating James LaBrie’s timbre and matching his range. In fact, I like this acoustic rendition of “Home” so much that I’ve already listened to it three times. So what’s with the random footage added in of this dude performing some kind of martial art? Beats me, but this version of “Home” definitely gets the Neilstein stamp of approval.

-VN

P.S.: I had a dream last night where the new Portnoy-less Dream Theater album came out and it totally smoked. Yes, I dream about Dream Theater. Seriously.

Thanks: Guido Perdomo

Preface: I love Dream Theater and anything DT-related with all my heart. But this is just too easy!

A media war of words between the remaining members of Dream Theater and the recently departed Mike Portnoy was bound to erupt sooner or later, right? Here’s where things get really nasty, so that once the inevitable occurs and Portnoy re-joins the band he helped form, at least there’ll be some good sound bites for Behind the Music or whatever the Metal Injection equivalent of it is in the year 2014, right?

But before the media sensationalized JUICY GOSSIP, a quick update from the Portnoy front. Metal Insider is reporting that in a recent interview Portnoy claimed he’d remain with Avenged Sevenfold for the remainder of the Nightmare touring cycle. This shouldn’t really surprise anyone as it wouldn’t make sense for A7X to switch drummers mid-tour, but it does call into question Portnoy’s motives for leaving Dream Theater. Didn’t he want a break so he could pursue other musical projects? Obviously A7X qualify as a musical project (now’s your chance for a snarky comment about A7X… hyuck, hyuck!), but I got the impression he wanted to spend more time on side projects and didn’t want to be on the road constantly. The touring cycle for an album by a band of A7X’s stature usually lasts 1.5 to 2 years… so expect Portnoy to be out on the road with them until this time next year, or later. That’s not gonna leave much time for anything else.

But you want the JUICY GOSSIP, right?? Well, click on through to see what James LaBrie had to say about Portnoy, and what Portnoy said back:

Click to read more…

Banner Designed by Cysquatch

Welcome to “Question of the Week,” a (sometimes) weekly debate amongst the MetalSucks staff regarding a recent hot button issue.

With seemingly every band in the world now less-than-hesitant to replace a departed member, no matter how seemingly important that member was to the band’s success, this week we asked our writers:

IS THERE ANY STILL-ACTIVE METAL BAND THAT COULD NOT AFFORD TO LOSE A SINGLE MEMBER OF ITS LINE-UP?

The MS staff’s answers after the jump.

Click to read more…

Will Vince murder me if I compare Star One, the new project from multi-instrumentalist and Ayreon mastermind Arjen Lucassen, to Dream Theater? ‘Cause I can’t really think of a more apt comparison. Classically infectious main riff? Check. Vocals sure to elicit homophobic epithets? Check. Super proggy guitar solo interspersed with an equally proggy synth solo played in a keyboard tone that is awesome even as it somehow conveys years of chronic masturbation in the face of a complete inability to lose one’s virginity? Check. Dorkiness out the wazoo? My fellow Firefly nerds (I still have just enough dignity left not to refer to myself as a “browncoat”) will recognize the title of Star One’s new song, “Earth That Was,” as a reference to Joss Whedon’s cult show. So, yeah, big 10-4 on that last one.

But as is the case with Dream Theater, I kid because I love. I mean, this shit really is as geeky as geeky gets, but that doesn’t negate the fact that it’s also really fun. In other words: Maybe a more apt comparison than Dream Theater would just be Ayreon.

“Earth That Was” is streaming at Noisecreep. It features vocals by Russell Allen (Symphony X), Damian Wilson (Headspace, Threshold), Floor Jansen (ReVamp, ex-After Forever), and Dan Swano (duh), in case my witticisms didn’t already have you foaming at the mouth. And it comes off of Star One’s new album, Victims of the Modern Age, which is out October 26th via InsideOut Music.

-AR

Mike Portnoy’s departure from Dream Theater is pretty much the biggest non-death story to break in metal over the past several months. Foundations have been demolished! Worlds have come crashing down! The strongest of e-friendships and message board dork alliances have been shattered! MetalGF copped to enjoying Scenes From a Memory when I put it on this Saturday morning! What is the Metalverse coming to???

In a move that only underscores how far beyond drumming his role in Dream Theater stretched, Portnoy took to the airwaves on Eddie Trunk’s weekly Friday Night Rocks broadcast this past Friday and attempted to clear up some of the rumors and accusations that’ve been floating around the Webernets since he announced his departure on Wednesday evening. Since you all reading this site are no doubt very concerned about wasting your boss’s dollar while you peruse the Internet, I’ll sum up the main talking points for you here in convenient bullet-point form:

Click to read more…

That’s right! One of MetalSucks’ most controversial voices — which is really saying something — is gonna be the DJ at tonight’s Heavy Metal Happy Hour at Arrow Bar (85 Avenue A). There are 2-for-1 drinks from 6:00PM until 9:00PM, so if you’ve ever wanted to get drunk and ask Gary “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS OR WHAT?!?!” in person, here’s your chance!

Now the week’s highlights:

• We debuted new music by The Absence and Vanisher.
• We spoke to Accept’s Wolf Hoffmann and Sebastian Bach (but not really with that last one).
• We checked out new releases by Filter, Neurosis, and The Last Felony.
• Vince contemplated a Mike Portnoy-less Dream Theater.
• Sergeant D. contemplated the new Escape the Fate song…
• …while we couldn’t even pay attention during the new Oceano song.
• We considered bidding on the best band name in the world.
• As it turns out, Wormrot are really good live, too.
• Neil Young and Burzum are collaborating on a new album?!?
• Wanna see a fat man eat seven cans of ravioli in time to a Fuckshovel song? OF COURSE YOU DO!!!

As Eyal promised yesterday, next week will see the full-on return of “Jumping Darkness Parade.” Plus we’ll have more contest, more video and track debuts, more interviews, more everything. Be there or be ᄆ.

-AR

Reader Mike McGurney sent us a link to the below video, in which Mike Portnoy plays Avenged Sevenfold’s “Nightmare” with his eleven year-old son, Max, awhile back… and we never ran it. But now certainly seems like an appropriate time, eh?

I know some of you sourpusses will get your panties in a twist that they’re playing “Nightmare” and not “Pull Me Under” or whatever, but did you do anything this cool with your dad when you were eleven?

-AR

Now that I’ve had a good 24 hours to process the news that Mike Portnoy has quit Dream Theater, I’m ready to opine on it. And my opinion can be summed up thusly:

RUFKM????

No, no… obviously it’s way more complex than that. Allow me to elaborate.

Click to read more…

Right up there with “Shana Tova.”

Gee, Mike, from the bottom of my blackened Jewish heart, thanks for the new year’s present. Don’t worry, there’ll be time to atone for your sins a week and a day from now; you can still take it back!

I’m definitely still in the denial phase of this whole thing. Sigh.

-VN

Our inboxes are currently blowing up with this link, a lengthy post on Dream Theater drummer Mike Portnoy’s personal Facebook page, in which the DT mastermind / genius / orchestrator / everythingman announces he is leaving the band. Yes, you read that correctly; Mike Portnoy — the heart and soul of DT — is leaving the legendary band he helped create.

As best I can tell the post was indeed written by Portnoy; it certainly reads like him, and the Facebook profile it was posted from has 185,993 likes which would seem to indicate it’s actually his profile. And, yep, there we go; Roadrunner Records’ publicist just responded to our email seeking confirmation. Ladies and gentlemen, Mike Portnoy has officially left the building.

As for an actual analysis of what this news means to me — and to you, my fellow Dream Theater superfan — my mind is so fucking boggled right now that I think I’m gonna hafta take a day or so to think about and digest it. So, without further ado, Mike Portnoy’s Dream Theater departure letter:

Click to read more…