Lambgoat reports that death metallers Brain Drill have reformed. A statement from the band reads as follows:

“Brain Drill will be carrying on despite all the recent rumors of break ups. The band is currently looking for a new drummer and more information will be made available shortly for those interested in trying out for the spot.”

I want to say that I am in no way, shape, or form judging the band’s musical abilities when I say that, clearly, these dudes are all still smoking lots and lots of ganja. As Lambgoat points out, calling the stories of the band’s demise “rumors” is ricockulous  when one considers that it was guitarist Dylan Ruskin who announced the band’s break-up in the first place.

Whatevs. At least they got someone with a third grade education to do their spelling for them this time.

-AR

Brain Drill have broken up, and, according to a posting by guitarist (he refers to himself as “Creator of Brain Drill”) Dylan Ruskin on the band’s MySpace page, weed is the culprit that led to the group’s demise:

“3 of the 4 members of brain drill being steve, marco and jeff all have huge weed smoking habbits if you hadn’t already noticed. I dylan do not and couln’t be more aggainst smoking weed i don’t have a problem if you do it but just be smart about it. Before we left for this tour with the black dahlia murder and animosity I told them a million times not to bring weed, pipes or papers with them in the van… And of course they don’t listen to a word i say and go ahead and bring pipes weed, papers and jeff even brought an ounce of mushrooms. Sure enough we get pulled over rite outside of salt lake city utah. Emediatley after the 3 of them had just smoked a blunt. So needless to say the car completely smelled like weed. So the cop comes up to the window and the first thing he says is ‘i smell pot’, so sure enough they take us out of the car and they completely search the entire van.”

The band miraculously got away clean, but later, when the band accidentally drove to the Canadian border, they were searched again, this time more, uh, thoroughly:

“For whatever reason steve and jeff start to flip out on the border patrol cops and start cursing and saying ‘this is bullshit, this is the first and last time i’m ever coming to canada’ etc. The cops asked ‘why are you guys making this such a big deal??’ they responded ‘because this is bullshit’ etc. The cop then responded ‘well since you think it’s bullshit we are now going to give all of you FULL BODY CAVITY SEARCHES’. So I was the first one to get searched. They completely stripped me naked had me lift my ballsack up so they could check underneath it, and then they had me bend over and spread my asscheaks apart so they could look inside my asshole.”

Geez. No wonder Dylan is pissed. All the second hand smoke has made him too stoopid to spell correctly.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, Vince and I are gonna go smoke a joint.

-AR