I have a friend who’s starting a new metal band, and he asked me if I had any ideas for a name. Now, I have plenty of ideas for names of metal bands, but they’re all kind of ridiculous, and I can completely understand why my friend wasn’t too keen on calling his band “Baby Rape,” “Puppy Rape,” “Retard Rape,” or, my personal favorite, “Rape Rape.” (If you put an accent aigu over the “e”s of that last one, it sounds like a classy French coffee drink.)

The bottom line is, thinking of a good band name is actually pretty hard, and even if you think you’ve come up with one, a quick Google search will usually demonstrate that, no, you’re not the imaginative genius you thought you were.

So thank God for the Ebay merchant known as “cjh257723,” who is selling the best band in the world:

The current bid is a whopping £0.01 and there’s only eight days left in the auction, so if you have a band that needs a name, you best get your ass over to Ebay and bid on this sucker ASAP. Unless you’re from Israel, Somalia, or Liverpool. In which case, fuck yourself.

-AR

Thanks to Rob for the tip!

When Trent Reznor announced he’d be taking NIN on hiatus after this most recent tour we were naturally skeptical. But apparently he spoke the truth, at least for the immediately forseeable future — why else would he be selling hundreds of pieces of road and studio-tested NIN gear? According to a post on the NIN official website [sent in by TomB via Pitchfork], Reznor:

Hundreds of items will be listed over the next several weeks such as guitars, keyboards, amplifiers, drums, staging, anvil cases, cables, rack/outboard gear, guitar effects, and pedal boards. Check the eBay page regularly for new listings, or follow @nineinchnails on Twitter for updates. More information can be found in the descriptions of each item.

Props to Reznor for using eBay to once again utilize the power of the Internet to connect directly with fans and cut out all the middle-man bullshit. There are currently about 20 items listed on the NIN eBay page — all guitars — with more promised in the near future. For my money (or someone else’s… ahem! <cough>Axl<cough>Hanukkah<cough cough>), the coolest item currently posted is the ESP guitar custom-painted with The Fragile album cover artwork (pictured above). The bidding is currently at $2,274 with 18 bids already in and over 5 days left. Good luck to whoever wants to win that one.

Save up for those instrument cables that may or may not have once been used by Trent, kids!

-VN

When I posted a plea to our reader two weeks ago asking for someone to spend $67.46 on a vintage Warrant t-shirt from eBay for me, never did I think one of you guys would actually oblige. You guys are sure a surpisingly generous bunch of people for a bunch of stinky metalheads — because within 10 minutes, loyal MetalSucks reader DeathMetalDave had bought, paid for, and emailed me the receipt to the eBay auction. Which is awesome, because never in a million years would I spend so much money on a t-shirt; but hey, I ain’t complainin’. A few days later said shirt arrived in the mail. It was definitely the talk of the party last night.

Thank you DeathMetalDave! Dave will soon be getting a sweet care package of the best stuff we can find lying around the MetalSucks Mansion — which isn’t saying much, but hey, it’s something.

So, how about this McIntosh integrated amplifier? It’d sure be sweet to have.

Anyone?

-VN

In the eBay bad-assery department, we have this fine Warrant t-shirt which the auction assures us is “a real vintage tee from 1987.”

SPREAD ‘EM!

So who wants to buy this for me? Seriously folks, if this thing shows up at the MetalSucks Mansion (address is here) I promise you an emormous box full of CDs, records, and whatever other shit we have! Someone… anyone?

-VN