I’m going to put about as much effort into this introduction as Randy Blythe is putting into his presidential campaign. That’s actually probably not fair to Blythe, who skateboarded and had someone film him for that ad; I’m really just going to sit here on my ass and not care very much.

ANYWAY, we begin today with ”Arguing With Thermometers,” the latest clip from Enter Shikari. Now, normally, I do not think very highly of this band, and feel that entirely too many of you e-mailed us about it when they recently streamed their new album (or something… I did not read the e-mails very carefully once I saw the words “Enter Shikari”). The band has fun with it and actually seem to have some comedic chops, and the shots and editing demonstrate that the director actually put some thought into it, which, hey, really pays off sometime. I was hooked pretty much from the triple-camera-turn at the :24 second mark. Nice work, Enter Shikari.

Click to read more…

Eluveitie have released a new song, “A Rose for Epona,” which you can check out below. I usually like Eluveitie, but this lil’ ditty ain’t doing much for me — I feel weird saying this, and I’m sure the band’s most hardcore supporters will all have fucking aneurysm for me daring to suggest such a thing, but between the drum loops and the guitar tone and the fact that Chrigel Glanzmann’s vocals are almost entirely absent from the song in favor of Anna Murphy taking the lead, the first band the tune reminded me of was Evanescence. And then every now and then there’s some flute to remind you that, oh yeah, this is a pagan metal band. It just seems, I dunno, weird.

But maybe you’ll like it more?

“A Rose for Epona” comes off of Eluveitie’s new album, Helvetios, which Nuclear Blast will release on February 10 in Europe and February 28 in North America.

-AR

[via Metal Underground]

Children of Bodom have been making anthemic, hair-metal-influenced melodeath about getting drunk and hating and killing things for fifteen years already? My oh my, how time flies!

The band will celebrate their birthday next year with a North American headlining tour, on which support will come from Eluveitie, Revocation (or “Revocator,” as it says on CoB’s website), and Threat Signal. That’s a pretty sweet line-up, no?

And we’ve mentioned before, Vince and I have a very special place for this band in our hearts, since MetalSucks was conceived at a CoB/Amon Amarth show back in 2006. Also, because they rock. So definitely check ‘em out and them celebrate pissing off parents for a decade-and-a-half if you can.

Dates are after el jumperooski…

Click to read more…

[To chronicle their current tour -- the U.S. portion of which features 3 Inches of Blood, Holy Grail and System Divide in support -- Swiss folk metallers Eluveitie will be writing an exclusive tour blog for MetalSucks. Read about the Brazilian tour in the Week 1 Tour Blog, and arriving in America and Canada in Week 2. Week 3 follows, in which Eluveitie learn to enjoy the old American West and encounter zombies in Vancouver. -Ed.]

Chicago. We had more than enough rest and we can’t wait to actually DO something again. Offdays are useless crap. After the traditional morning excursion to Starbucks we can face the day!

Nice location, good sound, great restaurant and a reasonable amount of fans making it to the show, so nothing to complain about at all. Jenna is the lucky contest winner (over a couple of weeks fans could record videos of them covering “Thousandfold” and we chose the winners), so she will be on stage with us tonight to play her “Flying V” violin (with fuckin frets, how weird is that?!).

And FINALLY we get our after-show party!

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Earlier this month I caught Eluveitie, Holy Grail and System Divide at NYC’s Gramercy Theater at the beginning of their month-long North American trek [check Eluveitie's tour blogs]. Unfortunately 3 Inches of Blood were trapped in Cleveland (the horror!) due to van problems, so I was bummed to learn I wouldn’t be catching them on this day… but no matter, I’ve seen their rockage before and I’m sure they’ll be back again. Eluveitie reminded me of what folk metal is like when it’s done exceedingly well, Holy Grail lived up to my expectations of having lots of shred and lots of hair, and System Divide… well, uh, they were there too.

After the jump, further thoughts on all three bands, and plenty of photos from the show.

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It occurred to me sometime this afternoon that Frankie Palmeri may very well read what I wrote about him earlier today, and decide the best course of action is to invite me onto his tour bus to settle our conflict through calm, intelligent discussion, only to sucker punch me when the bus door opens. Thus, I have come with a new rule for life: NEVER GO ONTO A TERRIBLE DEATHCORE BAND’S TOUR BUS. Seems simple enough!

While I contemplate Thanos Bison Reignz coming after me during a solar apocalypse, here’s a rundown of some of the fun shit we did this week:

• We broke the news of new System of a Down tour dates! I’m very proud of Vince for his investigative journalism skills on this one. He’s a regular Carl Bernstein, that one.
• We enjoyed another excellent tour blog from Eluveitie.
• We checked out the new release from Derek Roddy’s Serpents Rise.
• We wondered, “Is Hatebreed the best hardcore band of all time?”
• We whined about the Grammys.
• We made you a totally romantic Valentine’s Day mix.
• We learned the value of telling women we like metal up front.
• We discovered djentstep.
• We likened a Deftones concert riot to a Mad Max movie, ’cause we’re sensitive like that.
• Our friends at Decibel let you hear the previously unreleased Lamb of God tune “Hit the Wall.” Say “Thank you, Decibel.”

So, one last reminder: next week sees the release of Volume 2 of NYC Sucks, our totally free comp collecting awesome bands from the New York area. But if you’re a total sour puss and awesome free music does nothing for you, we’ll have some other fun shit, too. ‘Til then…

-AR

Ah, Valentine’s Day. Reviled by most, enjoyed by the smug, and shrugged off by the belligerently ambivalent. But while most of us couldn’t care less about this specific day in February, it’s still an annoyance that comes around every year. Kind of like the common cold.

Now, most places will have shitloads of “quirky” recommendations you can do with your special someone, even if you’re of the metalhead persuasion. You can hold sweaty hands in the privacy of your parents’ basement, pour each other some classy Motorhead wine, and share a blood pudding in the dreamy light of those church candles. It’s all very nice and sweet to be… nice and sweet.

But you know what’s better? DOING IT. With a killer soundtrack. So on this very special day, I’ve made you all a romantically inappropriate mix tape.

Picking “mood” songs is a little too obvious for my taste. I mean yeah, Faith No More’s “Stripsearch” (Actually, that might be more of a stripping song than a sexing one, but ,hmm, “Evidence” maybe? Heh, “Be Aggressive” might work for some. Either way, Patton’s voice = nudity.) and NIN’s “Closer” are both appropriate (for very different reasons), but that’s no fun. Go forth and find that special someone willing to get, get naked to these select songs. There’s a little something for everyone. St. Valentine would’ve wanted it that way.

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[To chronicle their current tour -- the U.S. portion of which features 3 Inches of Blood, Holy Grail and System Divide in support -- Swiss folk metallers Eluveitie will be writing an exclusive tour blog for MetalSucks. Week one of the tour took them through Sao Paulo, Belo Horizonte and Curitiba, Brazil; read about the Brazilian tour in the Week 1 Tour Blog. Week 2 follows, in which we learn that Eluveitie hate touring with other folk/pagan metal bands but absolutely love Walmart. -Ed.]

Sleep for 10 hours straight on the plane and wake up in the freezing cold. Awesome. Temperature shock FTW part II! BUT there’s a Starbucks at the airport which gets us all excited and stuff.

First stop, Philly! Apart from the bad news of people not making it to the show because roads are blocked and shit like that we’re stoked to see our good friends from Holy Grail. 3 Inches of Blood unfortunately can’t make it to the show because their van broke down… System Divide sound really good, great to be on a tour with bands that are worth listening to. Side note: We fucking hate touring with folk/pagan metal bands (apart from Finntroll). Isn’t it ironic ;-)

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How come Miss Piggy can’t count to 70? ‘Cause every time she gets to 69, she gets a frog in her throat.

ANYWAY, here’s how we amused ourselves this week:

• We debuted new videos from DevilDriver and Intronaut.
• We also debuted new music from Battilus and VYGR.
• We started a cool new series of tour blogs from Eluveitie and learned fifteen new things about Crowbar’s Kirk Windstein.
• We spoke to Josh Scogin from The Chariot and Mark LeVine, author of Heavy Metal Islam.
• We checked out the latest releases from Regicide, Dragged Into Sunlight, Macabre, and Abraham.
• We helped Burzum launch a new clothing line.
• We learned a sexy new stage move from Dr. Acula.
• We continued to feel embarrassed for Slash.
• We pleaded with record labels to start using Bandcamp and stop using MySpace.
• We mourned the loss of Guitar Hero.

Speaking of 69ing: Monday is Valentine’s Day. I’m just reminding you in case you’re a burnout and you forgot to get something for your woman. Don’t say I never did nuthin’ for ya.

-AR

[To chronicle their current tour -- the U.S. portion of which features 3 Inches of Blood, Holy Grail and System Divide in support -- Swiss folk metallers Eluveitie will be writing an exclusive tour blog for MetalSucks. Week one of the tour took them through Sao Paulo, Belo Horizonte and Curitiba, Brazil before departing to New York to begin the U.S. portion. -Ed.]

“Well this is a great start.” One week before our departure to Brazil we find out our monitor technician and dear friend Gump’s visa has been denied… Why do we stay calm during the outbreak of a small catastrophe? Because if nothing would ever happen and things would go swimmingly we wouldn’t be Eluveitie. One day before our departure we find a replacement, Roland “Rolli” Heuberger. Thanks, man!

Usually our travel days are made up of events that really are worth mentioning to the world, but this time we’re truly disappointed. Chrigel doesn’t even stumble through security in a completely intoxicated condition with a bread knife or drill in his hand luggage. All he does is fall off a chair in Starbucks after struggling not to pass out for 30 minutes. Last time he performed a stunt like this, that unpronounceable volcano in Iceland (yeah I’m not just gonna copy/paste whatever that thing is called and pretend I knew that) erupted. We’re dead serious.

So after 12 hours on a plane we’re finally in Brazil! Sao Paulo. It’s hot, it’s humid, it’s summer. We just came from fucking snow-covered frostbitten winter wonderland and we can’t even cure our heat-shocks in the hotel because we’ve got a tight schedule filled with interviews and an acoustic set on national TV. But at least we don’t make fools of ourselves for once. Or maybe just a tiny bit.

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I was elated to see all the recommendations for good elephants marching riffs following my love letter to that conceit earlier this week. I was a little less elated to discover that there’s almost as much confusion over what qualifies as an elephants marching riff as is there over what qualifies as a taco riff.

For example, here are some excellent riffs by some excellent bands that some of you excellently suggested but which are, rather unexcellently, not elephants marching riffs:

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FEATURING MEMBERS OF ISIS, MUNICIPAL WASTE, ELUVEITIE, WORMROT, LAST CHANCE TO REASON, ZAPPA PLAYS ZAPPA, GOD DETHRONED, OWEN HART, NIGHTFALL, HORSEBACK, AND OCTOBER TIDE

For 2010, we decided to do something special as part of our regular end-of-year festivities here at MetalSucks — namely, ask musicians from across the vast spectrum of the metalsphere (or, in a few cases, the almost-metalsphere) what their favorite albums of the year were. Death metallers, thrash metallers, black metallers, stoners, grinders, and djenters alike graciously contributed lists to MS, and we’ll be running them in groups of ten to eleven musicians at a time twice a day for the rest of the week.

After the jump, check out the fourth group… we hope you enjoy seeing what some of metal’s heaviest hitters were into this year as much as we have!

(And please note that these are musicians and that they, um, have a lot on their minds. So some of ‘em named albums that actually came out last year. Please don’t freak out.)

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Man, Eluveitie are a fun live band. “How fun are they?” Why, I’m glad you asked, oh beloved readers. They’re so much fun that, as Vince would say, if you don’t like fun, you shouldn’t go see them live.

Of course, you do like fun, and you will go see them live. And if you live in North America, you’ll go see them live in February, when they’re doing a headlining trek. And they’re taking some great bands on the road with them for support, too — namely, 3 Inches of Blood and Holy Grail. System Divide will also be on the tour.

Get dates after the jumper-ator-ator-ator.

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YESSSSSSS.

Amon Amarth have announced a North American tour for this spring. If you’ve never seen Amon Amarth,well, get off your ass and go.

It was at a Children of Bodom/Amon Amarth show in 2006 that Vince and I first decided to start MetalSucks. We were, it should go without saying, really, really baked. But it’s worth noting that at that particular moment, Bodom hadn’t taken the stage yet. So I’d like to think that the idea was born not just of weed and anticipation for COB, but, rather, from weed and the mighty creative juices of Amon Amarth. Thanks, dudes!

Eluveitie and Holy Grail are acting as support; I don’t know Holy Grail, but Amon Amarth and Eluveitie should really be enough to get you off your lazy ass.

Dates after the jump.

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Both Vince and myself were stoked to see Eluveitie bring back the heavy when they posted “Kingdom Come Undone,” a new track from their forthcoming album Everything Remains (As it Never Was) last month. Now the entire album is streaming, and as Vince put it, “Eluveitie are letting the metal world know loud and clear that their 2009 all-acoustic record was just an experiment and that the band we heard on Slania is the real Eluveitie.”

Everything Remains (As it Never Was) comes out February 19 on Nuclear Blast. You can stream it here.

-AR

I’ve always thought Eluveitie stood out from the pagan/folk/whatever metal pack because they’re one of the heavier bands of the bunch. Where several of these bands choose to dive deep into their respective country’s folk music and metallicize it, Eluveitie instead opt to folk-ify their metal. Their songs are basically heavy Gothenburg-style melodeath with some folksy instrumentation; combine that with mainman Chrigel Glanzmann’s acute songwriting and you’ve got the reason why Eluveitie remain one of the only folk metal bands that continually pique my interest. In a sea of a whole bunch of very mediocre bands in this uber-specialized micro-genre, Eluveitie stand out.

Their new track “Kingdom Come Undone,” now posted on their MySpace page, is no different; it’s great. Eluveitie are letting the metal world know loud and clear that their 2009 all-acoustic record was just an experiment and that the band we heard on Slania is the real Eluveitie. So far we’ve heard two tracks from Everything Remains (As It Never Was) (out February 19th on Nuclear Blast) and they’ve both been bangers.

-VN

The other day I engaged in a friendly argument with Rod (not Rob) of Metal Injection about folk, pagan and viking metal. Rod objected to the piece in which I claimed that the current pagan/folk metal trend is over, arguing that none of this “new” generation of pagan/folk bands are as good as the generation that preceded them (which, to be fair, I can’t really comment on as my knowledge of the subject is limited). In particular he didn’t seem into the Swiss outfit Eluveitie at all, which is unfortunate because Eluveitie are a legitimately good band who stand at the top of the folk metal pantheon.

Evocation I – The Arcane Dominion, released earlier this year, was an almost entirely acoustic affair — all of the folk and none of the metal — and was summarily greeted with a shrug by all but the band’s most die-hard fans. The band’s new single “Thousandfold,” however, gets back to the Gothenburg-flavored folk metal that made 2008′s Slania so special. We can only hope the rest of Everything Remains (As It Never Was), which comes out February 19th, is this good. Watch the video for “Thousandfold” below.

-VN

Heathenfest America, the not-Paganfest-monikered tour which is otherwise basically Paganfest for all intents and purposes, gets underway next week! Break out those viking hats and beer steins and get on out there to catch Eluveite, Belphegor, Alestorm (the superior pirate metal band), Vreid and Kivimetsan Druidi at what’s sure to be the best / dorkiest / drunkest show of the Fall. Full list of dates for the MetalSucks-sponsored trek after the jump.

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The headline says it all; isn’t that lineup awesome? It’s kind of like Paganfest except slightly less dorky / more evil (nothing against Paganfest — we love that tour too). We were bummed Eluveitie canceled this year’s Paganfest II appearance so we’re excited to see them again, and we’re all for a tour that includes blackened death metallers Belphegor and the better-of-the-two pirate metal bands, Alestorm. Kivimetsan Druidi and Vreid are mostly new to me but they seem like they’ll fit right in on this tour.

Honestly, this year’s Paganfest was a bit underwhelming so perhaps this is a chance for redemption. Korpiklaani shouldn’t have been headliners, and while the lineup was solid it wasn’t strong enough to bring out all the crazy pagan-metal partiers: I was the only douchebag in the entire place wearing a viking helmet, for realz. Seeing as Heathenfest kicks off in the dark, dim early days of November, maybe it’ll provide a good excuse for sun-deprived metalheads to go and get rowdy with some frosty brews and pagan metal. Psyched!

-VN

Last week Vince told y’all about the 2nd annual, MetalSucks sponsored Paganfest USA, which will, once again, include the testicle-burstingly awesome Eluveitie. That Switzerland’s best pagan metal band (or possibly just band, period) is coming back to the States for another run of drunken raping and pillaging should be enough to get your blood pressure up, but in case, for some bizarre reason, it ain’t, the band has now released a new song, “Omnos,” on their MySpace page.

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