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We are proud to present an EXCLUSIVE PREMIERE from one of my favorite newer bands, EMMURE. It’s not only the second single from their latest album “Speaker of the Dead,” but in my opinion their best song. And remember, you saw it here first!!
For those of you who are reading this on your Zune, do not yet have a 56k connection, or for whatever other reason cannot watch the video, here are my notes:
You guys have all seen Wet Hot American Summer, right? Well, remember this scene?
Okay, now read this.
Then close your eyes for a moment and imagine the scene above, only Sergeant D. is the popular girls (it won’t be hard), and Frankie Palmeri is the D&D dork (it won’t be hard).
Got that image in your mind’s eye?
Great. Now check this out:
We both really, really like blunts.
In all honesty, this is probably about as good as a music video shot entirely on a band’s tour bus was ever gonna get. I mean, it’s just like Jay-Z’s video for “Big Pimpin’,” only it’s more accurate to the metal lifestyle, because they don’t have a yacht, and there isn’t a woman in sight.
Also, the lyrics to the song, which “ is dedicated to all the diehard Emmure fans” (Frankie Palmeri’s words), are fucking brilliant. Remember when Slipknot did something similar with “Pulse of the Maggots?” But stupid Corey Taylor bothered to write, like, more than seven lines. What a dope! He could have been smoking weed and playing Street Fighter the whole time it took him to come up with that nonsense. Chump.
-AR
[via Artist Direct]
1) Be nicer to Sebastian Bach
2) Compare penis sizes with Tommy Lee
3) Hire Phil LaBonte as a vocal coach
4) Hire Billy Milano as a personal trainer
5) Hire Tripp Eisen as a baby sitter
6) Sleep with present-day Tawny Kitaen
7) Help Danzig clean up his motherfucking bricks, bitch
8) Listen to Ted Nugent talk about politics
9) Listen to Ted Nugent talk about romance
10) Listen to Ted Nugent talk about Ted Nugent
This doesn’t really have anything to do with metal, but I found it kinda funny so I’m running with it.
A Scottish band called Found has released what is, at least as far as I’m aware, the first-ever edible 7″ — more specifically, a 7″ made from chocolate. According to Badass Digest‘s Devin Faraci (who came up with a headline far superior to my own):
“The first attempt was to pour chocolate over a pressed record, but the music created by the chocolate record was backwards. Instead they poured chocolate into the record mold, and presto, an edible single.”
I don’t know nearly enough about, like, science n’ shit to understand how this could possibly work, or what the band’s fans are supposed to do if they actually wanna keep the record, be it because they like the music, or because they think it’s gonna be a collector’s item, or whatever. (How easily would this thing melt? You’d have to at least keep it refrigerated, I’d imagine.)
I would, however, like to suggest that metal bands start trying this gimmick to sell their own shit. Of course, they would not necessarily have to use to chocolate. Here are some examples of what I think would be good cuisine-to-band matches:
If you are in a deathcore band, getting your image right means everything. It can make the difference between yet another run-of-the-mill, VERB THE NOUN band and becoming the next Suiside Silence — just ask Phil from Whitechapel, whose sick gauges have been reblogged thousands of times by eager teenagers all across the world.
It’s easy to get a new haircut or buy some new clothes, but perhaps the most important decision you’ll need to make is what tattoos to get. Fortunately, thanks to the people at PitCam Productions, a new TV series called “BEHIND THE INK” gives you all the exclusive, behind-the-scenes info you need to unlock and master the skin art secrets of deathcore’s hottest frontmen!
Check out juicy, in-depth interviews with Ricky Hoover of SUFFOKATE, Thanos of EMMURE, Oli Sykes of BRING ME THE ‘ORIZON, and Vincent of THE ACACIA STRAIN after the break!!
This morning, MetalSucks’ own Corey Mitchell made Vince and myself aware of Andrew O’Neill, who, as the headline states, is an occultist transvestite black metal stand-up comedian from New Zealand. And having now watched the below video (in which O’Neill even dons an Altar of Plagues shirt) from the BBC, I don’t actually think the dude is all that funny (Brian Posehn’s status as the premiere heavy metal comedian remains unchallenged, as does Frankie Palmeri’s runner-up status), but it is interesting that such a performer even exists and is apparently gaining some acclaim… especially in light of the fact that we were just discussing the possibility of metal becoming increasingly mainstream. Would audiences have ever even given this dude a chance in the old days? I guess, in all fairness, none of his humor is metal-specific, although he certainly does play up the whole Satan angle.
There’s probably some societal significance in the fact that he’s a transvestite, too, but Eddie Izzard was probably the real trailblazer there.
Check out the clip below and see if you find more humor in this than I did.
-AR
[via Badass]
So the three-day weekend kinda threw our schedule out of whack; you may have noticed that we still haven’t finished announcing the line-up for our Magical Mystery Tour, and we didn’t get to finish our list of The Top 25 Modern Metal Guitarists, either. Both of those blessed events will go down next week, though, when we’re back for a full five days! So get stoked.
In the meantime, let’s review all the fun we managed to pack into this week’s abbreviated set:
Have a wonderful weekend, everyone. You will always be at the forefront of our thoughts, dreams, and prayers.
-AR
Remember back in February, when Emmure’s Frankie Palmeri claimed that he was really some otherworldy being named Thanos Reignz? Here, I’ll remind you:
“For the record, my name is Thanos Reignz, although you may know me as Frankie Palmeri. My true self is beginning to emerge.”
And this is a ridiculous statement, not just because of its both pompous and preposterous, but because Thanos is a character from Marvel comics, which means that either Frankie can’t tell the difference between make believe and the really real world, or otherwise has all the imagination of a corpse.
Well, now Frankie has a new, apparently electronic side-project which is in fact called Thanos Reignz. And guess what? Not only is it terrible, but it consists almost entirely of unoriginal material.
Regular MetalSucks readers already know that we think the world of Emmure, the finest band in metal or hardcore today. And so we’re only too happy to see that another band we love, Kvelertak, also thinks that Emmure are the greatest thing since the electric guitar. Just check out this recent exchange with a fan on their Facebook page:
So, clearly, these two bands are now the best of friends, and we should expect Kvelertak to be added to The Farm League Tour any second now. Maybe they can even collaborate on a new song about Street Fighter together? They have Street Fighter in Norway, right?
-AR
Thanks to Morrizz for the tip!
ROTFLOL at the name “AllStars Tour.” HAHAHAHAA hahahaha! I mean, wow. As Metal Insider‘s Zach Shaw states, “I’d look at this tour as more of a farm league tour. It’s not like the majority of the tour is ready to be called up to the majors just yet…” Baaahahaha
Whew. Anyway.
Exactly one band on this tour is worth seeing (After the Burial, who oughtta inspire immediate ball-hair growth amongst the audience’s 12-year old boys). In the contest of any ordinary tour I wouldn’t be that interested in Born of Osiris, but surrounded by such suckitude I guess I’ll give them a mulligan here for “bands worth seeing.” I know Axl would heartily endorse Iwrestledabearonce (me, not so much, but we can still be friends), so let’s just say that together Born of Osiris + IWABO = 1 band worth seeing. But the rest of this lineup? Holy dick on a cake, I wouldn’t piss on this lineup if it was on fire. On the bright side, at least they’re all in one place; none of these bands will be polluting otherwise solid lineups between the dates of July 22nd and August 22nd.
-VN
In February Emmure’s Frankie Palmeri did a track by track breakdown of his band’s latest act of audio torture, Speaker of the Dead, for AP — and the results were nothing short of hilarious. As it turns out, not only is Palmeri stunningly untalented, but he’s also apparently inarticulate, unimaginative, and bizarrely obsessed with Street Fighter. Basically, he has all the makings of someone who will inadvertently provide us with joy for years and years to come.
Now The Human Abstract’s A.J. Minette has done a similar track by track breakdown of his band’s (fucking orgasmically incredible) latest, Digital Veil, for AP. And by “similar,” I mean insofar as they’re both dudes talking about albums on which they performed. Unfortunately, Minette is an intelligent, gifted dude who, at least as far as I can tell, does not believe that video games are spiritualist documents. For example, here is A.J.’s explanation of the song “Antebellum,” which has become my favorite track on the record:
Typical Tumblr user: airheaded teenage girl who listens to metalcore bands that have cute singers.
When it comes to music, teenage girls make the world go ’round. It’s a fact: they are the ones who obsessively fawn over every word out of a band’s mouth, go to every show within a 200 mile radius of their parents’ house, and most importantly, they actually buy stuff (whether CDs or merch). Before you rage, I’m not trolling– this is how it’s worked for as long as pop music has been around (and explains why D.R.U.G.S. sold three times more records than Darkest Hour last week). Basically, any band who ignores the social currency and purchasing power of teenage girls is a bunch of dumb-dumbs.
While Facebook and Bandcamp are great tools for streaming your music and communicating with your fans, I think Tumblr is the most interesting social media platform right now. It’s the closest thing we have to a magical window into the minds of the consumers who drive the music industry (teenage girls), but I haven’t really seen many bands/labels take full advantage of it.
In this post, I will discuss the dynamics of Tumblr culture, share some examples of typical content and draw a few conclusions about what it means for bands and labels who want to market their product to not only Tumblr users, but the lucrative market of teenage girls in general. Also, please follow my Tumblr to keep your finger on the pulse of contemporary youth culture!
If you’d've told me in 1993 that some Swedish metal band that sings about Viking lore would sell more records than Pearl Jam 18 years later, I’d've called you crazy. Shit, if you’d have told me earlier this year that Amon Amarth would sell more records than Pearl Jam I’d've called you crazy. But that’s exactly what happened this past week. Sure, the Pearl Jam release in question was a reissue, but still; how unlikely is it that Amon Amarth, of all bands, have one of the strongest metal debuts of 2011 so far, strong enough to net them #1 on the Hard Music chart — selling roughly 14x the number of copies The Haunted’s new album did (in the U.S.) — and to beat out the enduring monolith that is Pearl Jam? Pretty fucking unlikely, and pretty fucking awesome too. Slow and steady wins the race, I suppose… 13 years and 8 albums in, Amon Amarth have broken through.
No doubt, it’s all due to this 10-year old Amon Amarth fan (WARNING: severe metalhead overload alert!).
Whitesnake (!), Within Temptation, Cavalera Conspiracy, Becoming the Archetype, Obscura and The Haunted also cracked the Top Hard Music Top 100 in their first week of U.S. release; those releases and other notable charting albums after the jump.
Samuel A. Favata recommended Russian outfit My Autumn to us, and what they have going for them is that they wrote a song with some really catchy parts, so they actually do kinda stand out from the mehtalcore pack.
But what they have going against them is pretty much everything else. On the most superficial level, those shorts and that jacket should be considered a crime against vision, and the singer’s haircut went out of style with the Nazis. As is almost always the case, choreographed stage moves and clean vocals turn out to be a major faux pas. That breakdown is as about as unique as breathing. And I have no clue what the what is going on with the blinking/winking thing at 1:02, but holy shit don’t ever do that you creepy Commie pederast.
But just to be clear, I do think they’re way better than Emmure.
-AR
You’ve all read Decibel editor-in-chief Albert Mudrian’s Choosing Death, right? If not, you should get off your ass and do that; it’s the definitive history of death metal and grindcore, and whether you’ve been a fan of those genres since the day of Scum or you’re a youngin’ trying to figure out what the big deal about Carcass is, you are guaranteed to learn something from reading it.
Well, I’m super-stoked to let you know that Mudrian has now penned a second volume of Choosing Death — this one focusing on deathcore. Says Mudrian via press release:
“Deathcore is the definitive form of extreme music in the aughties. As Napalm Death, Carcass, Cannibal Corpse, and Suffocation were to my generation, so will bands like Suicide Silence, Oceano, Emmure, and Winds of Plague be to this generation.These bands are proudly carrying the torch of the brutal music we all love, so it only made sense to see to it that their story was told.”
And the best part is — MetalSucks’ own Sergeant D. wrote the introduction! So now you know you need that shit.
You can pre-order a copy of Albert Mudrian’s Choosing Death II right here — it hits shelves on May 24 via Da Capo Press.
-AR
That headline doesn’t even make sense. So what? Seven of the Top 10 Hard Music albums on this week’s Soundscam charts are actually new(ish) releases! And only one is a greatest hits! Hallelujah!
Rise Against continued to dominate, while new releases by Soundgarden (sorta), Protest the Hero, Born of Osiris and Tesseract sold well. A bunch of other records came out, too (uhhh… Saliva, uhh…. CKY, uhhh… Straight Line Stitch) and some solid sellers from weeks past remained on the charts. Numbers after the break.
Fred Durst has tweeted that Limp Bizkit’s long delayed reunion album/latest attempt to make people wonder if pouring Drano in their ears will make it stop, Gold Cobra, is actually going to be TWO albums.
We don’t know if they’ll be titled Gold Cobra I and Gold Cobra II or just Gold Cobra and something else (Fuzzy Warm Wet Tunnel, perhaps?), but unless neither one of them contains any actual content besides the sounds of Durst, Wes Borland, and the rest of their crew being raked over hot coals, it’s not going to matter what they call it. It will exist. And it will be awful.
This band is going so far out of their way to give me an aneurysm, I imagine they’ll be announcing a tour with Winds of Plague and Emmure any second now. In fact, Vince recently mistook a new WoP song for Limp Bizkit, so, y’know, have all your affairs in order and the cyanide pills at hand for when that inevitably happens.
-AR
[via Metal Insider ]
Last week’s best selling “Hard Music” album was a Bon Jovi greatest hits package. I make no effort to hide the fact that I enjoy Bon Jovi from time to time, but COME ON FANS OF HEAVY MUSIC WHAT THE FUCK?! Following Bon Jovi, the #2, #3 and #4 charting hard music releases were a 27-week old Linkin Park album, Red State Rock and a GN’R greatist hits album. #5 was Sick Puppies. Sick fucking Puppies! Oy veys mere. Get it together people!
Other than Sick Puppies, the sole new release to chart in its first week out was the new album by Kopek. Who? Exactly. Take solace, fans of heavy music: at least D.R.U.G.S. are selling records.
A day late but never a dollar short, let’s look at last week’s completely irrelevant record sales numbers:
Like Axl said we’re getting on a plane shortly, so let’s make this shit quick. Some emo haircut band called D.R.U.G.S. (just typing that makes me queasy) sold a lot of records, and Devildriver and Darkest Hour did pretty well too. Numbers and commentary after the jump:
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