MetalSucks

If you enjoy melodic death-tinged power metal – and really, who doesn’t? – then it’s hard to imagine that you won’t enjoy Luna Mortis’ Century debut, The Absence. This shit is heavy, infectious, and epic as all get-out.

A big part of the reason why the album works is vocalist Mary Zimmer. A classically trained singer who once had aspirations of doing opera, Zimmer put to shame all the over-processed, auto-tuned vocalists that will inevitably let their fans down in a live setting. Her voice isn’t only powerful – it’s undeniably real.

Luna Mortis have just released a new, David Brodsky-directed video for the song “Forever More,” which you can watch above. They’ve also just hit the road with Edguy and Epicurean. You can get a complete tour itinerary here; then, after the jump, read my chat with Zimmer regarding all things metal. Raaaaar.

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This past Friday, I decided to take a break from writing my latest book Savage Son to catch some old school, new school, and something-in-between-school metal. After spending a sweltering hot day at the San Antonio Zoo with my three-year-old daughter and witnessing a Gibbon monkey with an anal prolapse and a pair of crusty old horny humping turtles, I figured the Kreator-led Hordes of Chaos Tour at San Antonio’s Scout Bar might actually be a bit less mentally taxing.

It definitely was, but in a good way.

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We are incredibly bummed to announce that the inaugural run of the MetalSucks-sponsored Metal Blade Fresh Meat Tour — which was due to start this week and featured The Absence, The Destro, Epicurean and Rose Funeral — has been canceled. The official explanation we’ve been given is “due to a handful of personal and other issues.”

So, um, this sucks. No ill will towards Metal Blade or any of the fine bands on the tour, as I’m sure whatever reasons got in the way of this tour happening were good ones. But this still blows.

Ah well. Next time. Sorry.

The MetalSucks sponsored Metal Blade Fresh Meat Tour, featuring the cream of the crop of Metal Blade Records’ young and upcoming bands, hits the road next week for its inaugural 14-date run. The tour features The Absence, The Destro, Epicurean and Rose Funeral. Are you guys fuckin’ excited for this yet? We’re bummed the tour isn’t coming to NYC, but we’ll have to live vicariously through you guys. Full tour dates are posted after the fold.

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Lucky for you, more dates have been added to this Spring’s Metal Blade Fresh Meat Tour, sponsored by MetalSucks, featuring The Absence, The Destro, Epicurean and Rose Funeral. In case you’re a fool and still don’t know about these bands, read Axl’s recent pieces about them, linked above.

MetalSucks.net presents Metal Blade’s Fresh Meat Tour w/ THE ABSENCE, The Destro, Epicurean, and Rose Funeral:
06/19 Richland, NJ Memories Lounge
06/20 Baltimore, MD Sonar
06/21 Albany, NY Valentines
06/22 Niagra Falls, ON The 4555
06/23 Toronto, ON Sneaky Dee’s 19+
06/24 Brampton, ON Spot One
06/25 Sarnia, ON The Polish Alliance Hall
06/26 LaPorte, IN The Next Level
06/27 Troy, OH Staunton Garage
06/28 Detroit, MI Fischer Hall
06/29 Chicago, IL Mojoes Rock House
07/01 Des Moines, IA Vaudeville Mews no Rose Funeral
07/02 St. Louis, MO Rockstar Nightclub no Rose Funeral
07/03 Tulsa, OK The Pinkeye no Rose Funeral
07/06 McAllen, TX Smokin Aces no Rose Funeral

I don’t think there’s anything I could say about Epicurean that would be more elegant than what Kevin Stewart-Panko wrote in the June ‘08 issue of Decibel when reviewing the band’s latest album, A Consequence of Design. So I’m just gonna reprint a portion of that review here:

“While every step Epicurean take is drenched in copious melody, it would appear they’re having a hard time deciding whether they want to be Emperor, Dream Theater, Shadows Fall, Children of Bodom or Kalmah. Not that this is a bad thing—or necessarily confusing—as Epicurean’s synthesis is feted by [John] Laramy’s chameleonic vocals, excellent all-around guitar work and keys that artfully balance skill and widdle, with the result being a heck of a lot more interesting than if they just picked one of those individual outfits to emulate. Their synthesis is made all the more potent by their intelligent use of melodies usually heard in Swedish or Norwegian bands, which drape this album in hooks that are as dark and melancholic as they are life-affirming and triumphant; check out ‘The Author and the Architect’ and ‘Illusion.’ But given that they hail from Minnesota—which, according to census figures, might as well be called Little Scandinavia—we shouldn’t be all that surprised.”

Below, check out a fan made video for “The Author and the Architect;” then check out our interview with Epicurean vocalist John Laramy.

MetalSucks.net presents The Metal Blade Fresh Meat Tour w/ The Absence, The Destro, Epicurean, and Rose Funeral (more dates TBA):

06/19 Richland, NJ – Memories Lounge
06/20 Baltimore, MD – Sonar
06/21 Albany, NY – Valentines
06/22 Niagara Falls, ON – The 4555
06/25 Sarnia, ON – Polish Alliance Hall
06/26 Laporte, IN – The Next Level
06/27 Troy, OH – Staunton Garage
06/28 Detroit, MI – Fischer Hall
06/30 Minneapolis, MN – TBA
07/01 Des Moines, IA – Vaudeville Mews
07/02 St. Louis, MO – Rockstar Nightclub
07/03 Tulsa, OK – The Pinkeye
07/05 San Antonio, TX – TBA
07/06 McAllen, TX – Smokin’ Ace

-AR

The MetalSucks-sponsored Metal Blade Fresh Meat tour featuring The Absence, the Destro, Epicurean and Rose Funeral now has an official tour flyer. So take this shit and plaster it up on your bathroom stalls, MySpace pages, or wherever. Because this is not a tour to miss!

In case you missed the announcement, all of the bands on this bill fuckin’ destroy. Check out Axl’s pieces on The Absence and The Destro from last week.

-VN

Here’s what I wrote about The Destro back in August, in a piece cleverly entitled “The Destro are Fuckin’ Metal”:

“How fuckin’ metal? So fuckin’ metal that in bar fights they can only bitch slap their opponents, because hitting them with a closed fist is the legal equivalent of beating someone with an aluminum baseball bat. So fuckin’ metal that they piss hot molten lead and shit lug nuts. So fuckin’ metal that the first thing they do every morning is lather themselves in WD-40. So fuckin’ metal that if they go out in the rain, they rust. So fuckin’ metal that if they go to the beach, they can’t go into the ocean because they’ll sink right to the bottom. So fuckin’ metal that Unearth frontman Trevor Phipps signed them to his Ironclad label after he discovered them during a mining expedition. So fuckin’ metal that they readily loses electrons to form positive ions, and if you put them in a room with a non-metal band, they’d form an ionic bond.”

Still apples, dude. Still applies.

Here’s their video for “Beast Burden.”

MetalSucks.net presents The Metal Blade Fresh Meat Tour w/ The Absence, The Destro, Epicurean, and Rose Funeral (more dates TBA):

06/19 Richland, NJ – Memories Lounge
06/20 Baltimore, MD – Sonar
06/21 Albany, NY – Valentines
06/22 Niagara Falls, ON – The 4555
06/25 Sarnia, ON – Polish Alliance Hall
06/26 Laporte, IN – The Next Level
06/27 Troy, OH – Staunton Garage
06/28 Detroit, MI – Fischer Hall
06/30 Minneapolis, MN – TBA
07/01 Des Moines, IA – Vaudeville Mews
07/02 St. Louis, MO – Rockstar Nightclub
07/03 Tulsa, OK – The Pinkeye
07/05 San Antonio, TX – TBA
07/06 McAllen, TX – Smokin’ Ace

-AR

Are you guys seriously not excited about the MetalSucks sponsored Metal Blade Fresh Meat tour? If that’s the case, then I’m fairly sure it’s just because you’re not down with The Absence, and by “down with,” I mean “have heard at least one of their songs.” ‘Cause if you’ve ever heard a song by The Absence, then you’d know that, in the words of MetalSucks reader attackmole, the band is “tiiiiiiiiiiight.”

So below is the video for the title track from their Erik Rutan-produced 2005 Metal Blade debut, From Your Grave. Produced by the legendary Erik Rutan, it is one of the best European melodic death metal albums I’ve ever heard by a band not actually from Europe. ‘Cause this band is actually from Florida, where they recorded this album with producer Erik Rutan. Also, did I mention it was produced by ERIK FUCKING RUTAN?

MetalSucks.net presents The Metal Blade Fresh Meat Tour w/ The Absence, The Destro, Epicurean, and Rose Funeral (more dates TBA):

06/19 Richland, NJ – Memories Lounge
06/20 Baltimore, MD – Sonar
06/21 Albany, NY – Valentines
06/22 Niagara Falls, ON – The 4555
06/25 Sarnia, ON – Polish Alliance Hall
06/26 Laporte, IN – The Next Level
06/27 Troy, OH – Staunton Garage
06/28 Detroit, MI – Fischer Hall
06/30 Minneapolis, MN – TBA
07/01 Des Moines, IA – Vaudeville Mews
07/02 St. Louis, MO – Rockstar Nightclub
07/03 Tulsa, OK – The Pinkeye
07/05 San Antonio, TX – TBA
07/06 McAllen, TX – Smokin’ Ace

-AR

We didn’t lead you astray with the MetalSucks co-sponsored Paganfest, and we certainly wouldn’t dare do so with any other tour we put our name on. We are extremely proud to announce that MetalSucks will be sponsoring this Spring’s ‘Metal Blade Fresh Meat’ tour, featuring Metal Blade young guns The Absence, Ironclad Recordings’ The Destro, as well as Epicurean and Rose Funeral! Get pumped. And get ready to get sick of hearing us talk about this tour.

MetalSucks.net presents The Metal Blade Fresh Meat Tour w/ The Absence, The Destro, Epicurean, and Rose Funeral (more dates TBA):

06/19 Richland, NJ – Memories Lounge
06/20 Baltimore, MD – Sonar
06/21 Albany, NY – Valentines
06/22 Niagara Falls, ON – The 4555
06/25 Sarnia, ON – Polish Alliance Hall
06/26 Laporte, IN – The Next Level
06/27 Troy, OH – Staunton Garage
06/28 Detroit, MI – Fischer Hall
06/30 Minneapolis, MN – TBA
07/01 Des Moines, IA – Vaudeville Mews
07/02 St. Louis, MO – Rockstar Nightclub
07/03 Tulsa, OK – The Pinkeye
07/05 San Antonio, TX – TBA
07/06 McAllen, TX – Smokin’ Ace

Minnesota sextet Epicurean’s MySpace page features the catchy slogan “Breakdown free since 2003!” That kind of raised middle finger to the current scene helps explain, at least in part, why their recent Metal Blade debut, A Consequence of Design, stands out from the rest of the progressive melodic death metal pack that’s so prevalent these days. That, and, y’know, that fact that these dudes are talented.

Epicurean front man John Laramy recently agreed to answer some questions for me via e-mail – and aside from what he says, I’m sure he regretted it almost immediately. After the jump, read John’s thoughts on his band’s name, being angry in Minneapolis, why keyboards are metal, and the joys of alcohol and poo. And, oh yeah, I slipped in some serious questions, too.

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For their Metal Blade debut A Consequence of Design, the six Minneapolis, Minnesota-based lads of Epicurean venture down a well-worn path of American metal but inject a more distinctly European metal feel than most of their American counterparts, making for a record that could be predictable but ends up being more enjoyable than you’d expect.

Keyboards are often at the front of the mix or not far behind it, adding a decidedly European flavor to their blend of thrash, hardcore and NWOBHM-style guitar melodies. Epicurean’s songwriting is their strongsuit; the tunes on A Consequence of Design usually clock in between the 5 and 7 minute marks and meander in such a way that strikes the right balance of familiarity and unpredictability.

When Jared Schneider’s keyboards aren’t doing the talking John Major and Jared Mills’ guitars are, sometimes separately but often together. Gothenburg-style harmonies and melodies dominate the melodic but heavy up-tempo songs beneath John Gensmer’s bombastic, triggered, enormous-sounding drums. The production is huge and also very European in nature, calling to mind the fists-to-the-sky power metal of MetalSucks faves Mercenary. But John Laramy’s vocal approach is decidedly more hardcore in nature, in closer keeping with most bands this side of the pond. Laramy does an adequate job on the screamed parts in the verses, but the choruses are unfortunately a tad predictable with his clean sung vocals often doused in a heavy helping of auto-tune/vocoder as in “Behind the Chapel Walls” and “Lithograph.” Nevertheless the guitarists do a fine job displaying their technical prowess when called upon, shredding and sweep-picking with the best of ‘em. Together with Schneider’s keyboards they create a sonic stew that’s an interesting mix of new and classical metal (the bass meanwhile is right where it always is these days, buried deep beneath everything else). “Illumination” is a highlight, a track darker in tone than most that showcases the best elements of Epicurean’s sound. The Slash-esque guitar solo of “Anathema: The Gate Keeper” is also a winner that stands out.

A Consequence of Design isn’t going to shatter barriers for Epicurean, but it could put them on the radar in a crowded genre; I can see them going over well amongst the Black Dahlia Murder crowd. While this album may not propel them into the stratosphere, it shows that the band members certainly have the potential to develop their sound into something that will set them apart from the pack if they’re willing to take some risks.

-VN

(two and a half out of five horns)

[Epicurean on MySpace]

Epicurean vocalist John Laramy (pictured left) has done a guest post for The Deciblog entitled “Top 5 Musical Moments that made the world more dumb.” My personal favorite is #3, “Heavy Metal: 1994 – 2001,” natch:

“In the song ‘Rollin’,’ before bursting into lyrics plagiarized from a Richard Simmons work out tape (‘Breathe in, now breath out, hands up, now hands down’) Fred Durst asks, ‘You know what time it is?’ Indeed I do, it’s about a quarter past: time for the members of Gorgoroth to sodomize you while I enjoy a mug of hot cocoa and a smug sense of satisfaction.”

A man after my own heart.

Read the rest here.

-AR