All this talk about Slash’s upcoming solo album has got me playing “Fantasy Velvet Revolver” in my head once again. Though I still hold out hope that Axl’s idea of having Perry Farrell front the band comes to fruition, I know in my heart that there’s probably a better chance of Scott Weiland rejoining the band, which is admittedly a pretty remote possibility. Remote like Siberia.

So looking through the list of vocalists purportedly gracing the axeman’s new record, I see a number of qualified albeit unlikely candidates to fill Weiland’s still-vacant spot. Yeah, it would be a heavy music lover’s dream to have Ozzy Osbourne sing for the band, considering the craptastic nature of his last few solo albums. Realistically, that would be an unholy managerial nightmare with the potential capacity to yield a catastrophic clusterfuck to put the legal woes of Black Sabbath and Guns N’ Roses to shame. Dave Grohl’s too busy counting his money and playing geriatric rock with his idols to commit to yet another band. These days, Alice Cooper and Lemmy Kilmister have the commercial drawing power of, well, Alice Cooper and Lemmy Kilmister, and maybe would shift a few more units than a Velvet Revolver fronted by an unknown (anyone remember Eric Dover or Rod Jackson?) or that dude from Spacehog. Don’t even get me started on Fergie.

One other name on that list, however, actually makes sense…

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Former Guns N’ Roses drummer Steven Adler, former Guns N’ Roses/L.A. Guns guitarist Tracii Guns, former collaborator of a former Guns N’ Roses guitarist Eric Dover, and former Guns N’ Roses appreciator Chip Z’Nuff have formed a new supergroup, Guns of Destruction. Aside from being a redundant reminder of the obvious – that guns, y’know, destroy things – the name is a reference not only to Guns N’ Roses and L.A. Guns, but to Brides of Destruction, the last supergroup no one cared about that featured Tracii Guns.

It might also be a really sad way to try and invoke Appetite for Destruction, an  album that 75% of this band made no contribution to but really, really enjoy.

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