So apparently the source of the split between Evan Seinfeld (Biohazard/Damnocracy) and Tera Patrick (porn) was Patrick’s request that Seinfeld leave the adult film business. Says an evil tabloid owned by Rupert Murdoch:
Evan Seinfeld and Tera Patrick have split up. Apparently it’s amicable. This means Tera will now be free to make porn with other dudes, like she did in her pre-Seinfeld days, while Evan will be free to make porn with other chicks, or medicore music with whatever band he’s doing these days. (Until I get that Biohazard/Onyx tour I’ve been begging for since ‘93, I don’t give a shit.)
It’s hard to believe that this relationship didn’t last. If a metal thug and a porn star who make a great deal of money filming themselves fucking can’t be happy together these days, then what hope is there for the rest of us?
Go here to watch Evan and Tera in happier times, sharing their love. Or, at least, Evan sharing his love all over Tera’s face. Needless to say, it’s NSFW.
-AR
Yeah yeah yeah, Evan Seinfeld has done lots of “legitimate” acting since Biohazard fell apart, like an appearance on Oz and voice work for the upcoming Grand Theft Auto IV video game, but let’s be real: all his post-metal fame stems from the fact that he’s married to, and is the on-screen partner for, porn star Tera Patrick. That’s right: the man now blows his load all over his wife’s face for a living. Somebody had to say it.
I guess Evan must be running dry, though, because they’ve announced that Biohazard, the Noo Yawk band that may have inadvertently paved the way for Limp Bizkit, is jumping on the Summer 2008 reunion bandwagon, where they’ll be featured alongside the already-announced kiss n’ make-up concerts by Carcass and At the Gates. Who will care about Biohazard more than Carcass or At the Gates is beyond me, but I imagine they’ll all end up on the same European summer festival circuit soon.
-AR
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