MetalSucks

Here’s Zakk Wylde talking to Tartarean Desire a few years back… I’ve added some emphasis:

“What would be a good career move is to get Eminem to sing on a Black Label album. It would stir up some controversy with the Hell’s Angels of Iron if you had Eminem rapping on a Black Label album. I go first off I hate fucking rap music, so what the fuck would I want to have that mother fucker singing on my fucking album… Because he is popular?”

And here’s Zakk ranting about rap and rap metal back in 2006:

Of course, ideals are nothing in the face of a paycheck. And so here we are, it’s almost 2010, and Zakk Wylde has recorded a guest guitar solo on Public Enemy’s “Bring the Noise 20XX” for DJ Hero, a video game for people who think that Guitar Hero is too sophisticated.

Click to read more…

I love playing ths game. The famed Metallica + GN’R + Faith No More run would have to be close to the top of my list. Soundgarden supporting Spoonman. Motley Crue supporting Too Fast For Love. King’s X on the Dogman tour, for sure… check out this performance [sent in by Shane Gillis] of the title track from that incredible record, filmed on the short-lived Jon Stewart show no less.

If you had a time machine that could take you back to any one specific tour (but ONLY one), who would you go see?

-VN

See. We told you not to worry.

-AR

With Velvet Revolver on what is starting to look like a permanent hiatus, Slash has been off recording a Santana-style all-star solo album with lots and lots of famous collaborators. It’s actually kind of a brilliant idea, and you wonder why he didn’t do that instead of Slash’s Snakepit Mach 2, a fun band that was really never gonna pay off for him.

Now Slash has announced his first solo offering: a two-track Japanese (and thus “internet,” whether Saul Hudson likes it or not) single called Sahara, which will offer both that song, with some Japanese dude I’ve never heard of on vocals, and… a re-recording of “Paradise City” with vocals by Cypress Hill and Fergie.

Fergie.

Click to read more…

Four words before I start this little rant:

FUCK YOU CHUCK MOSLEY.

Now that that’s outta my system…

We’ve known for awhile that Mosley, a.k.a. “The former Faith No More singer no one cares about,” had re-recorded the FNM classic “We Care A Lot” for his new solo album, Hel-lo! Does Anyone Remember Me? I mean I know I’m Not Mike Patton but I Gotta Eat, Too! And while that immediately struck me as a terrible idea, the fact that FNM keyboardist Roddy Bottum was playing on the track gave me hope that it wouldn’t be terrible.

But, hey, guess what? It’s terrible.

Click to read more…

Former Faith No More (or “Faith No More,” as it’s mysteriously written on his website) vocalist Chuck Mosley is offering a new song, “Tractor,” for free download. And while I expected it to suck big hairy hippo nuts, it’s actually pretty decent.

I mean, don’t get me wrong. This is not a Faith No More song. But it’s kinda catchy, the guitar solo is really simple but I dig, and Mosley’s voice seems to have aged pretty well – he doesn’t sound like he has a cold the way he did back in the We Care a Lot/Introduce Yourself days. I would definitely give the rest of his album a listen based on this song.

Mosley’s new solo album, Will Rap Over Hard Rock For Food, is available now. Apparently it features the third re-recording of “We Care a Lot,” with updated lyrics. And while the very thought of such a re-recording irritates the shit outta me, FNM keyboardist Roddy Bottum plays on the track, so I guess I kinda-sorta don’t have any right to complain.

Download the song here, then come back and let us know what you think.

-AR

So. Atreyu have a new album, Congregation of the Damned, coming out October 27, and the band has made it perfectly clear that they intend for said album to be a return to form after the lackluster results of their sell-out arena rock effort, Lead Sails and a Who Gives a Fuck? Now they’ve debuted a new song, “Stop! Before It’s Too Late and We’ve Destroyed it All,” on their MySpace. Are we convinced that the Atreyu of yore are about to make a return? Can any band that’s not Faith No More get away with having a exclamation point in a song title? Do we even care?

Click to read more…

Following up on yesterday’s post about stage dives gone awry, reader Karel Goethals sent us the below video that a friend of his shot at a recent Faith No More reunion show at Pukkelpop in Belgium. Skip ahead to roughly the 2:40 mark to enjoy the hilarity of what looks like one of the most painful missed-dives pretty much ever. Even Jon Hudson’s reaction when he sees the jump is hilarious. And gotta give Patton mensch-points for personally checking to make sure the dude is okay.

Ouch.

-AR

I suspect that, save for the weirdos and closeted avant-jazz heads lurking among our readership, many of you are unaware of or oblivious to the work of Trevor Dunn. Of course, any Mr. Bungle fan will instantly recognize the name of that seminal band’s bassist. Produced by the influential and infamous John Zorn, its 1991 self-titled debut might be one of most bizarre albums in my collection of bizarre albums, blending bombastic hard rock, demented circus music, and freak jazz with thematic wit, irreverence, and depravity. In subsequent years, the Mike Patton-fronted group took a proverbial backseat to the vocalist’s work in the comparatively more successful Faith No More, leaving Dunn and his cohorts to pursue other musical ventures including Secret Chiefs 3. Though Mr. Bungle ultimately and mysteriously disbanded after the release of its third album California, Patton and Dunn would continue their musical partnership in the experimental metal supergroup Fantomas–a still technically active quartet that also includes Melvins’ esteemed axeman Buzz Osbourne and Slayer’s revered drummer Dave Lombardo–as well as the related Fantomas-Melvins Big Band and Zorn’s “Moonchild”. Separately, Dunn has spent much of this decade as a major player in New York’s avant-jazz community, featuring in countless groups and albums including his own Trio-Convulsant. MadLove, however, might be the most extraordinary (and frustrating) release of Dunn’s career given its curious straightforwardness and accessibility.

Click to read more…

Note to self: never let Mike Patton see you on your cell phone while he’s performing.

Thanks to Geoff Hansen for the tip.

-AR

Did anyone else have the Faith No More Video Croissant VHS back in the day? It was a collection of all the band’s music videos up ’til that time (through Angel Dust, if my memory serves correctly) interspersed with band interviews. One of said interviews was Roddy Bottum recalling a time when FNM were doing a support stint on the Guns N’ Roses/Metallica stadium tour; apparently someone threw a bottle full of urine up on stage, and Mike Patton decided to pour said urine all over himself. That’s not quite as bad-assed as the members of The Black Dahlia Murder drinking urine – as they claim to have done on their Majesty DVD – but then again, BDM did it by accident, Patton did on purpose. So I think Patton wins the “batshit crazy” award.

Not quite as batshit crazy but still at least bird poop nutty: this video of Patton swallowing a shoelace from a sneaker thrown on-stage during a recent show in Budapest. Why would he do this? To cement his reputation as one of the best front men of the past twenty years? Because he has an actual chemical imbalance? Because he was just really hungry? Who the fuck knows.

Skip to the six minute mark to watch.

Meanwhile, FNM still have yet to announce any U.S. tour dates. I’ve heard people closely connected to the band speak with confidence that the dates are forthcoming, and I’ve heard people closely connected with the band swear that Patton is being a pain in the ass and the dates won’t happen. Let’s hope the people in the former category are correct.

-AR

[via Blabbermouth]

Well, I don’t know that the original Faith No More vocalist is back on smack, but I can’t think of any other way to explain this statement from a recent Rolling Stone interview:

“I thought [firing guitarist Jim Martin] was as big if not bigger a mistake than getting rid of me — just because he had a lot of pull with the big part of their crowd at the time. And he was ‘the personality,’ y’know? There was something people could identify to. After Jim, they were going through a string of different guitar players, and I couldn’t name one of them. That Jagger/Richards, Plant/Page thing was gone.”

Alright, I love Jim Martin as much as the next guy, but come on, dude. Let’s look at some facts:

Click to read more…

I can’t say I’ve followed everything that Jello Biafra’s done post-Dead Kennedys, but I was quite excited when I heard that Faith No More bassist Billy Gould is part of his new band The Guantanamo School of Medicine. Those familiar with Jello’s two collaborative albums with the Melvins (2004’s Never Breathe What You Can’t See and 2005’s Sieg Howdy) will find the new songs streaming at the band’s MySpace page familiar in style: punky, quirky, and political.

Click to read more…

You would have to be on dope to like Slaves on Dope. I mean, the band has a song called “No More Faith,” for fuck’s sake. NO MORE FUCKING FAITH. Jim Martin should bend them over and grow pumpkins out of their ass for that shit.

Anyways, this band is reuniting. I never knew they broke-up, to be honest; I just thought they were sucked into the same black hole of once-popular shit bands that a lot their peers did (see: Primer whatever the fuck they were called, E-Town Concrete, etc.). But in case you’re not familiar with their particular brand of awfulness, here they are, looking like Crazy Town and sounding like diarrhea.

-AR

More than a year ago, I wondered aloud: “Say, what the fuck did ever ever happen to Chuck Mosley?” It had been so long since anyone heard from the former Faith No More singer that I even misspelled the dude’s name, and not a single one of you left a snarky comment correcting me.

Well, now it seems that Mosley has a solo album, Will Rap Over Hard Rock for Food, coming out August 11, presumably being released to capitalize on all the ink the reunited, Mosley-less FNM are getting. And while I appreciate Mosley having a sense of humor about his lack of success in da biz in the years since he split from FNM, I’m not sure that advertising yourself as rap-rock in 2009 is the smartest way to go if the acquisition of sustenance is your goal. Unless you’re hoping people will throw eggs at you, and that you can then proceed to lick the yolk from your clothes.

Click to read more…

Hello, my Metalsucks children.  I write you on this day of rest from a flat in London as I recover from 3 days in Donington where I witnessed this year’s Download Festival.  I know a lot of you probably saw the live streaming on the festival site, so I won’t waste your valuable internet surfing time with bad Youtube clips (well, just a couple).

Why is Anton OyVey in the United Kingdom you ask?  Three words: FAITH NO MORE and three more words: AMERICAN EXPRESS POINTS.  Years ago, I had the chance to go to the holy land of Israel for free and turned it down.  But when my musical deity, Mike Patton, got back together with (most) of Faith No More, I couldn’t miss it.  Unfortunately after I had booked my flight they announced a pre-Download play at Brixton Academy, which everyone here tells me was one of the greatest concert experiences of their life. But I did get to see their first festival show in over a decade along with some other amazing (and not-so-amazing) bands.

So, on to my latest metal gospel.  If you don’t know about Download, it is the biggest UK rock and metal festival that started in 2003 and takes place at the same legendary location as the “Monsters Of Rock” Festival (back before most of you ended up being the lord’s little mistakes).  This year’s attendance was said to be over 75,000 people and had a very diverse lineup of metal, rock, classic rock and even some electronic. Three days, four stages and 120 bands, so I obviously was not able to see them all.  Here are two sentence reviews of each band I had the chance to witness (or that people were buzzing about):

Click to read more…

So I just watched Faith No More’s Download Fest perf. I only saw one pair of boobies, and they were terrible boobies. On the other hand, FNM killed it and played “Take This Bottle” and Patton did part of “We Care A Lot” while doing sit-ups with the mic in his mouth, so ya take the good with the bad.

Speaking of the good with the bad: we started to unveil the results of our 21 Best Metal Albums of the 21st Century… So Far poll/list this week, and as usual, y’all had something to say about it:

• SP420 thinks it’s “unbelievable that so many people hold” the #17 album, Hatebreed’s Perseverance, “in such high regard.” Sp420, Jamey Jasta will be at your house in one hour to discuss.
• ionlanach thinks that the #18 album, Lamb of God’s New American Gospel, is “Mediocre, just like everything Lamb of God have ever done.” Even Randy Blythe’s BBQ sauce is offended
• I hate you thinks that if the #19 album, Mastodon’s Remission, “was your first metal album, you are gay” and that “metal is obviously not your fortay.” In other news, I hate you doesn’t know how to spell “forté” correctly.
• Fufkin calls the #20 album, Shadows Fall’s The War Within, “metalbore.” While I don’t agree with him (her?), that’s just clever enough for me not to make fun of Fufkin.
• Robert thinks that the #21 album, Slipknow’s Vol 3: The Subliminal Verses, is “sort of a pile of shit.” Which leads me to wonder: at what point does something go from being “sort of” a pile of shit to, y’know, an actual pile of shit?

Next week we’re countin’ down albums #16 through #12. The picks are clearly either gonna make you guys really fuckin’ happy or really fuckin’ mad. I’ll give you a hint, though: they’re all metal albums.

-AR

I won’t bore you with the specifics of the emotional fucking anguish I have been experiencing this week, but suffice to say, it has now come to this: I am currently enjoying quite the little cocktail of multiple substances all designed to help me relax. And while I do feel pretty dizzy and I’m having a hard time typing this and can’t figure out why the screen won’t stop moving, as though the images and words on the monitor were drifting listlessly across a lilting ocean, I do NOT feel sleepy and I do NOT feel less stressed out. Now it looks like my screen is in 3-D. That can’t be good.

But to stay on topic: even with all these legal and illegal pharmaceuticals in me, nothing made he feel happy happy joy joy until my RSS feed vomitted forth this headline from Blabbermouth:

FAITH NO MORE Kicks Off Reunion Tour; Setlist Revealed, Video Available

And now I can feel my shoulders loosen, crystallixed toxins forced out, my neck is relaxed, my head is light. And maybe that’s why it now appears that the words I am typing are growing ever closer and further away, but, hey, whatever ya call it, it’s grand.

Here’s some shitty videos from the gig:

Click to read more…

When I read that Repulsion, Pig Destroyer and Brutal Truth are all playing a show together at the Brooklyn Masonic Temple on July 31, my head literally exploded. I don’t mean “literally” the way some people misuse that word; I mean I am actually typing this right now sans melon. Pretty crazy, I know.

Click to read more…

Our bro-bros at Metal Insider brought up a good point yesterday; what’s the point of saying your band is breaking up or going on hiatus if it don’t mean shit in the end? Srsly wtf lolz! With the pending Faith No More and Cave In reunions this Summer literally every band to ever break up that still has enough living members to do so — and even some without — is doing a reunion in some capacity. Last summer’s roster of reunionites included Carcass and At the Gates, amongst others. And don’t front; the Soundgarden reunion will happen eventually. I’d put money on it.

So I hereby declare a moratorium on breaking up. Artistic differences? Don’t wanna hear it. Tired of touring? Tell me that again in a year when your records ain’t selling, you’re flat broke and you’re tired of flipping burgers. Fucked a band member’s girlfriend? Kiss and make up, then have a threesome. Don’t give me no “on hiatus” crap either ’cause that’s just a way of pussyfooting around the fact that you do plan on eventually playing together again. Just say nothing! Is that so hard? Quietly disappear, then come back years later and take the world by storm. Your lives, and ours, will be henceforth be much more drama-free.

-VN