So last night Van Halen played at Cafe Wha?, this incredibly small club (capacity is 250 people) here in NYC; alas, MetalSucks did not score an invitation, but, hey, that’s what cell phones are for. You can check out some footage from the show in the above video.

More exciting for the approximately eight trillion people who wanted to attend the show but couldn’t get in is that the band has now announced dates for their upcoming tour in support of their new David Lee Roth-reunion album, A Different Kind of Truth. Vince and I saw the band play Madison Square Garden in 2007, and to our surprise and delight, the show was AWESOME, so, yeah, I’m excited to go see them again, even if I have my reservations about them trying to follow-up 1984 twenty-eight years later. But Truth‘s first single, “Tattoo,” drops Tuesday, so we should have a better sense of twenty-first century Van Halen sounds then.

A Different Kind of Truth will come out February 7 via Interscope; dates for the band’s upcoming tour are after the jump.

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One my least popular observations is that Eddie Van Halen’s progress as a guitar soloist was temporarily stunted by the wave of gooey acclaim that soaked him as early as 1978. Until the 1984 album, the newly 56-year old axeman seemed more focussed on wizardry and novel tricks than on crafting memorable solo passages, notwithstanding “Somebody Get Me A Doctor.” His skillz were always bonkers, but apparently good judgement arrived with the keyboards; that’s when he proceeded to rail off beautious leads to equal his unmatched chord choices and phrasing. Then came F.U.C.K., Balance, the departure of Sammy Hagar, the whole Gary Cherone thing, dementia, divorce, marriage, a reconciliation with singer David Lee Roth, a deconciliation with bassist Michael Anthony, the enlistment of Wolfgang “FD-D” Van Halen, and finally Thursday, the happiest day of my adult life thanks to producer John Shanks’ twitter:

Here we go kids … VH.

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Since its inception by the typings of some clever music journalist in the 80s, the categorization “hair metal” (or “glam metal”) has been as amorphous and, consequently, as misused as “metalcore” has been in the aughties. And since it’s hair metal week here on MetalSucks, we thought we’d try to address this issue by pointing the spotlight on ten bands that are often, and incorrectly, deemed “hair metal.” And to that end…

It’s easy for me to understand why some people would dub Van Halen “hair metal.” Between the Van Halen brothers and David Lee Roth’s chest/Michael Anthony’s back and arms, the band certainly had plenty of hair on-stage in their heyday. (Things changed in the reunion era, as Eddie, Alex, and Diamon Dave have all adopted more “adult” hair cuts, and Michael Anthony’s back has been replaced by Fatty Ding Dongs Van Halen’s almost-grassless playing field.) And, certainly, no band besides Kiss was more influential on the hair metal scene — for what were the glam bands if not just one long string of EVH and DLR impersonators?

And yet it is this very influence which disqualifies Van Halen from being categorized as a hair metal band — for how can they be part of a trend that they pre-dated? Call Van Halen “cock rock” and I’d be hard pressed to argue, but a bunch of Aqua Net lovin’ pretty boys Van Halen were not.

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Last week I debated the merits of a rumored new Van Halen/David Lee Roth reunion studio album in 2011, but it looks like that debate might be a moot point. For VH publicist/Eddie shtupper Janie Van Halen has told Rolling Stone that “What is going around is exactly that, rumors. I don’t have any updates at this time.”

Is this happy news or sad news? I  think it’s probably for the best, although I know that a lot of you (including our own Anso DF, who admonished me via e-mail for slagging “Me Wise Magic”) feel differently and would love a new Van Halen studio album, even if it did include Fatty Ding Dongs on bass.

Of course, Janie is a publicist, so it’s entirely possible she’s just completely full of shit and the new album is coming down the pipeline. I guess time will tell.

-AR

I had a blast when Vince and I saw the Van Halen/DLR reunion tour in 2007 — so much so that I actually considered forking over an obscene amount of money to go see the band on the second leg of the same tour, Fatty Ding Dongs Van Halen’s presence be damned. And yet, this rumor, first reported by VH fan site Van Halen News Desk, fills me with dread:

“It’s been a while since I reached out to one of my best sources of Van Halen info over the years, but it had to be done. And I got the information I was hoping for – independent confirmation from a long time source I trust that Van Halen are indeed working towards finishing recording of a long awaited new studio album with David Lee Roth, set for release sometime in the first half of 2011. A single is slated for release before the end of this year, but exact timing still remains very much up in the air. I’m told the relationship between Eddie and Dave remains as complex as ever, but there is a definite desire to get a new record completed.”

I have no doubt that this is really happening, ’cause, well, CHA-CHING! (And I have no doubt that “complex” is the nicest possible word you could use to describe the relationship between Diamond Dave and EVH — lest we forget, these two can’t even be in dressing rooms in close proximity to one another.) But why, if I had so much fun at the band’s concert, am I so terrified by the idea of a new Van Halen album?

Well, lemme ask you this: anybody remember “Can’t Get This Stuff No More” and “Me Wise Magic,” the VH/DLR reunion songs the band recorded for their 1996 greatest hits collection? Yeah, neither did I ’til I just re-listened to ‘em — and I actually bought that CD the day it came it out just for those songs alone (no illegal downloading in those days, kiddies).

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One of the most disappointing aspects of Guitar Hero: Metallica was that you have to play with nu-’Tallica, not the Burton or even Newstead-era band we all know and love (I’m told older versions of the Four Horsemen are available as “unlockable content,” but there’s only so many hours in the day and these snarky blogs ain’t gonna write themselves.). That being said, at least the makers had the good taste to not pretend that Robert Trujillo was in the band when they recorded Master of Puppets.

Now comes this 56-second bootleg clip of Guitar Hero: Van Halen, taken at recent nerd fest videogame convention E3. At first I was like “Sweet! Look, it’s DLR and EVH when they had long hair! CLASSIC HALEN ROOLZ!!!!”

And then I saw Fatty Ding Dongs Van Halen. Who not only wasn’t in the band during the early days of VH, he wasn’t even, y’know, FUCKING BORN YET. This like when the band tried to replace their cover art photos of Anthony with ones of Fatty Ding Dongs; even Axl Rose isn’t a big enough douche vag to try and completely re-write history. Bogus. Fucking bogus.

That all of this comes in the midst of EVH claiming and Michael Anthony denying that Anthony actually quit the band, and, well, it’s enough to make you wanna listen to fucking Chickenfoot. Christ.

-AR