Last night, Vince and I attended a listening party for Korn’s latest earth-shattering masterpiece, Korn III: Remember Who You Are. “But Axl,” you ask, “if you and Vince hate Korn so much, why did you go?” Well, three reasons:

1. We were told there’d be free drinks.
2. We thought it would be really funny.
3. We were told there’d be free drinks.

And there were free drinks! Unfortunately, there wasn’t much humor to be had.

ANYWAY, as part of the presentation, three-fifths of the band got up – Fieldy and whomever is playing the second guitar with the group these days were absent – and said a few words, none of which made any impression on me. Then they played the album. Herewith, my thoughts on said album, track-by-track.

Click to read more…

Vince, Kip, and Anton OyVey are all down at SXSW, but don’t worry about lil’ old me; Higgins and I got shit covered. Here’s what happened in the world of metal this week:

• We all finally got to hear the new Mastodon album! Needless to say, intense debate ensued.
• We spoke to Wolves in the Throne Room drummer Aaron Weaver and Lazarus A.D. bassist/vocalist Jeff Paulick.
• No penis? No Dir En Grey!
• Is this new Teagan and Sara shirt metal as fuck, or total hipster bull pucky?
• The Megatallica rivalry continued as we watched Dave Mustaine kill on Jeopardy and Lars Ulrich eat it on Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
• Fieldy = Jesus
  
• Read Vince’s initial SXSW reports here and here!

Alright-y, then. Higgins and I are off to make like chimneys and blow smoke. See ya Monday!

-AR

I don’t know if we got a press release for this and I saw the word “Korn” in the subject line and just deleted it, or if Korn’s people actually know better than to send us shit… but in any case, Blabbermouth has just brought it to my attention that bassist Fieldy has an autobiography coming out, the title of which is long and I am therefore not going to re-type (or even bother to cut and paste) here.

As you can see from the book’s cover, it seems that Fieldy is the second member of this band to find God. But only the first, at least as far as I’m aware, to actually equate his struggle with that of Jesus Christ.

To that end, after the jump we will explore the ways in which Fieldy and Jesus are both similar and dissimilar, in the hopes of figuring out whether or not Fieldy is, in fact, the Second Coming.

Also, we’ll look at an NSFW picture of Field’s sister’s nipples. Just because they’re there.

Click to read more…

What the fucking fuck are these fucking Behind the Player DVDs? It seems like Blabbermouth posts a new story about them every hour on the hour. As far as I can tell, they’re just the same bullshit instructional videos that musicians have been releasing for years and that .001% of the population actually buys. Marketing-wise, I can’t tell if it’s a good idea or a terrible idea to launch the series by releasing new DVDs with Duff McKagan, Munky, Fieldy, John 5, Paul Gray, Blasko, Tommy Clufetos, Shannon Larkin, Mike Inez, Ringo Starr, Max Weinberg, The Captain and Tennille, Vanilla Ice, Tupac Shakur, Frankenstein’s Monster, Elliot Gould, Murderface, Bob Loblaw, Dick Cavett, Joey Fatone, and Rerun from Good Times all at once. But it’s happening.

In any case, we haven’t received a single press release about these DVDs here at the MetalSucks Mansion. So whomever is sending out said press releases obviously isn’t cool.

-AR

Fieldy from Korn is apparently writing a book. Here’s what he had to say about it in a recent interview:

“It’s like an inspirational autobiography. It’s going to have pictures from my childhood through my teens until now, and people’s jaws are going to be on the ground when they read some of the stories, people are not going to believe I’m still alive. I’ve led the craziest life ever. People are going to be blown away when they check this book out.”

I think he means “people are going to be blown away when they discover that I can actually read and write.” Aw, who are we kidding? A friggin’ ghost writer is gonna do all the reading and writing for him!

Actually, this book might prove some (mostly inadvertent) entertainment; but it’s tough to imagine Fieldy giving the kind of dish you want from a tome like this. In other words, there are other upcoming metal tell-alls I’m much more excited about.

Of course, Fieldy isn’t the first member of Korn to wager that at least some small percentage of the band’s fans are literate: Head released a book last year in which he detailed how Jesus, and not the laws of good taste, finally convinced him that it was time to leave the band.

-AR

-AR

HOLY SHIT. Munky has just left Korn mid-tour due to “personal and family reasons.” That’s right: Korn’s current European jaunt will now feature a whopping two original members.

I mean, I suppose that Munky might return to the band, the same way that it seems the door is perpetually open for David Silvera to return someday – but really, who the fuck are we kidding? Silvera’s been away for well over a year and missed an entire album (two if you count the incredibly misguided Unplugged), and I wouldn’t be surprised if Munky is done for good, too – especially in light of the fact that he’s rumored to be recording a solo album.

I guess the real question now is, will the band be able to maintain any of its fan base with just its singer and bassist present? I mean, none of these dudes are exactly top-notch musicians, and their replacements are all generally better players than they are. At the same time, Davis doesn’t have the mystique of an Axl Rose or the reputation for being a creative mastermind like Dave Mustaine or Erik Rutan or Tim Roth, so I can’t see people caring now that the band is a borderline solo-act (sorry if I’m downplaying Fieldy’s contributions – assuming he makes a contribution).

The good news for Korn fans is that the faster this act falls apart, the sooner the inevitable overblown Motley Crue-style reunion tour will take place.

-AR