I didn’t think it was possible that Rob Zombie’s Halloween X II could be any worse than Rob Zombie’s Halloween IX I*, and yet there I was, sitting in the theater, wishing that someone had slipped cyanide into my slushie. That someone could (allegedly) so revere John Carpenter’s original classic and yet (seemingly) have no understanding whatsoever of what made that movie so fucking great is a kind of a head-scratcher to me; I mean, Zombie’s Halloween movies are really just unwatchable drek. The nicest thing I can think to say about Zombie’s film is that it moves at twenty-four frames per second, giving the illusion of motion. That’s about it.

Now Zombie has set his sights remaking on another horror classic: The Blob.

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